High and low functioning sociopaths and the mask of deception

Some work, some choose you as their career option!

Whilst a character trait of all sociopaths is parsidical lifestyle. Some do go to work, and hold down jobs, often very powerful jobs.

Low functioning sociopath

The low functioning sociopath, is what i often discuss on this site. They are the ones who are the provincial con man, they operate one to one. Often using love to fraud someone in a relationship. They are natural predators. When meeting someone –

  • They immediately assess you. How likely are you to fall for the con? They ask you questions to try to test you. To see what your reaction will be.
  • Trial information back to you, to see how you respond

If you are seen as a good victim, the sociopath will then move on to using information gained in the assessment stage to seduce you, to lure you in, to build trust. Which is false, as it is based upon lies.

You will not be aware of the lies that are told in the beginning.

Lack of conscience

The sociopath has a lack of conscience. No remorse, guilt or shame for their actions. Because of this, they can easily lie to you. Can stare right into your face and lie. if you look closely there are the signs that this person is lying, but you quickly put these thoughts to the back of your mind.

Deceptive mask

The sociopath will, when he first meets you, be unsure who to be. He will not know what mask to wear until he knows what he needs to be, to capture you. To do this he needs information about you. He will work hard to find out as much information about you, as quickly as he can.

Capturing is a good word. As this is what he does. Luring you into his web of deceit. Where so many lies are told, that he begins to partially believe his own lies. Not knowing the difference between truth and fiction.

In the sociopaths mind they go  into character. Of who they need to be. The last person that i was with, had lived in 3 different geographical locations. Each place had a different accent. I found looking back, that when spinning lies, he was moving himself into character. This is why his accent changed. In his mind he was in character. Because psychologically he was in character, his vocal accent changed. This was to make his persona more believable. When his accent changed, was when he put on a new mask, and was almost believing himself the lies that he told. His persona, and his body language changed, as did his accent.

The low functioning sociopath has little regard for morals, right or wrong, keeping to the law. They always feel that they are above the law. They get pleasure from conning, and duping people. They enjoy putting on a new mask and being a different person. It is by telling lies, and actions that are deliberately set up, to manipulate and deceive, that the victim will believe that they are with someone who is wonderful, kind, caring, and someone who they can build a future with. The sociopath just sees you as somebody who they can use, for whatever it is that they want (whilst at the same time, lying through their teeth to tell you that you are the love of their life).

They have a lack of ability to make future plans. Living very much in the moment. They do not think of potential future outcome of behaviour, and that of course they will eventually get caught. They enjoy using somebody for as long as they can. Low functioning sociopaths can cause a lot of damage to a persons life. You are literally prey, prey that they will use, and live off.

Damage that can done by the sociopath mask of deception

  • Lack of self esteem/psychological damage
  • Financial damage
  • Damage to your own networks, family, friends
  • Damage to your employment
  • Threat of losing your home

In fact, damage to any area of your life, where you have a life, and the sociopath has none. A sociopath will mirror you, and live off of your life force. As the sociopath plays the victim so very well, you are lured into feeling sorry for him. This mask of vulnerability is just an act. A sociopath can turn on the tears, and go into full dramatic mode. Simply to con and deceive. Will be sobbing, and wiping his face as if there were tears. But there will be none.

See this video of Mick Philpott – sociopath who called his press conference after his 6 children died in a house fire, that he was responsible for setting, to get back his ex who had left (he was living with two women at the same time), he wanted to frame her, and get her children back. It backfired and sadly all of the children died in the fire. This is him, fake acting, fake tears. Its all an act to deceive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxq6Zvr8mPY

Not caring that he has caused all his childrens death. He brazenly fakes tears, when there are no tears. Will use a tissue and sniff. Sociopaths will great lengths to deceive. They will do this to your face.

Parasitic lifestyle

The sociopath thinks that he or she is above having to work for a living and pay for themselves. A sociopath can be attracted to someone who is a single parent, who has a home and income from the state, someone who has a lot of money and is bragging about what they want. If they do not have what they want, they find some way to take it. The sociopath does not think about your needs, your rights or your welfare, or that taking from you, will lead you to go without. The sociopath enjoys conning, scamming and stealing. Because the sociopath has no guilt, feels no sense of remorse or shame, they can do this blatantly to your face, whilst telling you that they ‘love you’. If you are ever in doubt, when you hear the sociopath say the words ‘I love you’, change the words to ‘I am using you’.

The high functioning sociopath

high functioning sociopath

The high functioning sociopath, is intelligent, and does work. However whilst the low functioning sociopath can cause damage one to one, the high functioning sociopath can cause damage to millions.

A good example of a high functioning sociopath, is a world leader, someone who works in politics (I am not saying that all politicians are psychopaths or sociopaths, but certainly some are). You will witness the high functioning politician do the following:

  • Lying (about policies and political spin)
  • Deflection of blame
  • Need to go to war, when there is no real need for it (war on terror)
  • Feeding false information to cause fear and control
  • Showing a total lack of empathy, in the guise of (for the greater good)
  • High personal expenses at the expense of the tax payer
  • Shifting the blame (its always someone else’s fault, last Government or some other factor)
  • Never answering a question in a direct way
  • Using others to achieve their own personal goals

Have you ever watched a politician be asked a direct question, and yet answer the question without really answering the question at all?

The low functioning sociopath does exactly the same. Other examples, are

Jimmy Savile, High functioning Charismatic Sociopath – who hid behind his celebrity status to abuse young girls. This is a great video with Louis Theroux

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xu2udi_when-louis-theroux-met-jimmy-saville_news#.UWdq7qLqmzg

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xu2i9x_exposure-the-other-side-of-jimmy-saville-couchtripper_news#.UWelvKLqmzg

Other cases:

Another high functioning sociopath

All sociopaths are deceptive, dishonest and compulsive pathological liars. They put on a mask of deception to achieve their own agenda. Having little feeling, they get a rush of endorphines, by  conning, duping, and deceiving.

The last case is extreme, it is rare for somebody to kill, most don’t kill, but they can suck the life out of your life, and cause complete destruction, resulting in a life that looks like it has been in a car crash.

Copyright datingasociopath.com 2013

58 thoughts on “High and low functioning sociopaths and the mask of deception”

  1. What do you do when the person you feel is the sociopath is your (adult ) child,who you cannot cut out of your life?

    1. You love, with boundaries. I write about dating a sociopath. I do understand what you are talking about too.

      My answer is from a spiritual perspective. I believe that we choose our life lessons before we are born. We choose our parents. And it is already agreed who our children will be, and the lessons that they have to teach us.

      It is tough when it is your child. As you love your child, but they can cause so much destruction to your own life. All you can do, is remember –

      YOU are the parent.
      Set the boundaries what is and is not acceptable

      If you have to distance for a while, then sometimes you have to do so. But let them know – that you are distancing from the behaviour. Not from them. That you love them, but you do not love the behaviour. That it is not acceptable to you. (remember this is in their brain, its the way that their brain works)…..

      As long as you are honest. Distance is fine. As long as you are making it clear that you are distancing yourself from the behaviour not the person. The love of your child is still there.

      Can you write a letter explaining this. With emphasis that you love your child – but you cannot cope with the hurtful behaviour anymore? or have things broken down too much?

      The point is, no matter what you love your child

      1. I. Have lean that we teach our kids but our kids really teach us so we have to lean to pray and let them make their own choices at the same time don’t embrace them when their choices are bad like my daughter wanted to live a gay life i prayed to My God to deliver and he did parent we have power over that demon with Gods help Love them always don’t worry just pray if God can’t do it it can’t be done Ps dont get mad that My God have power over all demon (PRAY)

  2. I love your site & its my therapy, my inspiration, I read posts, info on it every day & makes me feel stronger & not want to contact my ex, so thats good. Even got urge to write my own blog of being with a sociopath. Even got the title in mind, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Pieces of You, Castles in the Sky. Lol. He was loud & talking at me, lecturing me every day since we got back together for the 3rd time, just before xmas, too much of a head ….. Now i’m out of it, i will never go back. His charming facade was vanishing, appearing less & less, the nasty side Mr Hyde was present more & more. I was in love with who i thought he was, the facade, him mirroring back my dreams of a heartfelt romance. But he was the wolf in sheeps clothing. He was more narcisst I think but with bpd, sociopath, but minus the stealing money or possessions, he worked when he had too. but he kept lecturing me how hard he worked years ago, 14 hrs a day hard physical trade work & said he socialised at church, went to bible studies, did music, more than i ever will in my life, he was so competitive & i’m not. When he was love bombing he said i was the most forgiving woman, pretty, marriage, trip away. but so shallow emotions as he was getting distant alot the last few wks of rship & pretended he’d called me on mobile & landline, to say he was staying home that nite, but there were no msgs or missed call msgs or anything. I think he wanted to create drama, he knew i’d get upset & get suspicious, it was a way of him exiting the rship, as we argued alot on the phone, he’d hang up, then he called the police on me because i felt suicidal. He knew that my friends would step in, protect me & tell me not to see him anymore. so it was mind games for sure, as he wasnt honest to tell me its over. He left some stuff in my house & his spare house key in the bag on my front porch, i think, incase he wanted to return? incase his new option didnt work out? 2 wks later he wrote distant cold note wanting his stuff back. The tone of his note was like we never knew each other at all, a complete stranger. Weird. Then a few wks later again he tossed things i’d left at his place, over my back fence in a bag incl photos of me! & letters i’d written about the break up, trying to understand, ask why he behaved like this. It was a weird rollercoaster of a rship, him creating drama, i can see the cycle, pattern now that i’m out of it. Writing this is therapy & reading your experiences, is too. Sorry for the long msg. Thankyou again for this forum, site. We’re not alone at least. All dated the same man or women, well almost anyway.

  3. Its all about power and control for these sociopaths! Mine was 18 years of marriage with 2 daughters.My Ex got away with all my money(millions) because he is a president Infidelity invest.,he made up bold face lies throughout our million dollar trial.He always told me he had the power in the court,and I didn’t stand a chance.He was an everyday “tornado’ in our lives so Im lucky to be alive so far.Though he has promised,I don’t know what more he can do to destroy me and the children. Although he has power and a lot of money to buy more evil, and still never be caught. (He gets people to do all his dirty work) Oh yes he can also fool anyone with his charming side as he sings all kinds of Beatles love songs to impress.He is a true snake in a suit.
    He cheated his way all the way to the top,getting all the promotions,getting innocent people fired. AbbyJ has no idea what a sadist and vindictive man she’s got working until he wants her seat. It disgusts me that there is so much corruption in our courts and all these “Mr Ripleys” get away with murder and hurting children.He has about 35 million dollars(with my marital money) while Im in debt from the divorce.He hated being a family man and used his children to appear innocent in court, totally lying about his abuse towards me and the kids. Read, Money talks…

    1. Oh wow, welcome to the site sjiv, I am so sorry for your losses. It must feel that you are in the midst of a tornado. It sounds like you are going through such a rough time, I am glad you found us!! :)

  4. Not all sociopaths are “deceptive” and “dishonest”. Psychopathic behaviour is different than psychopathy itself, which is a very misunderstood type of personality.

      1. I see a pattern with all of the sociopaths that visit your site (I’m making an assumption they are based on their comments). They get mad at the thought of being called a liar…and swear up and down they are honest. Or at he very least, they argue for hours about how “not ALL sociopaths are liars.” Puh-lease. It really just proves the point even more.

  5. I think I may have met a high functioning sociopath and I admire I feel scared. His profession is acting/ directing so he would be very good at acting and deceiving. He is exceptionally charming but also very deviant in many ways which in a strange way is exciting. He is also diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome or so he says which is his excuse for not feeling empathy, he disappears for days on end with no contact whatsoever, does not respond to messages or phone calls etc. yet when I am with him he makes me feel amazing, it is such a roller coaster, I feel as though I should walk away but I don’t know how!!!

    1. People who have aspergers are very intelligent and they can struggle with empathy and can seem quite blunt sometimes. They can also get lost In projects so forget things that others see as important. What makes you think that he is a sociopath?

  6. Thank you for this blog. I’m only starting to research the topic but believe I was involved with a low-functioning sociopath. There WERE the effects upon myself you mention, such as psychological damage
    and damage to my own networks, family, friends, employment etc., but also still a residual effect: One of still ‘not quite being able to believe it’, even though at the time it had almost sent me over the edge, if not for very understanding friends. Obviously, a lot more, but too much to get into here. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for this. All the best.

  7. Would you describe a man as a high functioning sociopath or have a personality disorder when he manipulates women for sex? He trolls the internet to meet women. Lies to them and once he uses them for sex he is done with them. If they are great in bed then he manipulates them into thinking that they have a relationship. He has no remorse for their feelings after they realized they’ve been used. He gives just enough attention and attentiveness to think they are the only woman for him but then turns cold.

    He lives in my neighborhood and we met while walking my dog. He owns a dog so he would use his dog to lure women. I am physically fit and my male friends say that I am very attractive and they can’t understand why I am wasting time with this man. I could be dating any one else. At first my instinct was to walk away and I should’ve listened. He makes promises of taking me on trips and recently started talking about getting married. Many times I have broke up with him because of his cheating and lies but he always begs me to come back.

    Most recently I caught him with a very obese woman at his house that he had invited over for dinner. He claimed that they were just friends but his body language said otherwise. She was picking up on my vibe that he and I were together but he must’ve said something to her for they proceeded to continue their visit, soaking the hot tub watching a movie while he was massaging his feet. Meanwhile, I was being ignored. However just two night ago we were in that hot tub together and had sex in his bed. His room mates know we were together and he in fact told them that they should expect me over more often. In fact it was one of his room mates that opened the door to let me in the house. I had left the party. I have not spoke to him since. His previous girlfriend before me broke of their relationship accusing him of cheating on her but he denies it. Meanwhile he had been dating another woman on and off for 8 years promising marriage to her while seeing me. She knew about me and was okay with it because she refused to have sex with him. However, I learned just recently that he had ended their friendship. I believe he is trying to make me in a relationship that he could have his cake and eat it too. But why sabotage it by inviting over a woman knowing that I could find out about it? If he wants to play the field then why can’t he just be single? There are plenty of women who just want a sex buddy why bother with a relationship at all?

    He would insult his ex-girlfriend and female friends/room mate for being over weight yet the women I have caught him cheating are obese with very large breasts. His relationship with his mother is strained yet he appeases her. She is a small petite women that is not obese and has small breasts.

    1. I think it’s interesting how consequential the size of the women he is cheating with is to you (it wouldn’t be the same with everyone). I’m just about sure this is why flaunting them to you is his chosen weapon. He will wear you down with your own weakness/element of issues, etc. I’m not saying he’s not being a j@ck@ss (he is), or that he isn’t trying to get you to make some compromises and bend to his will (he is). But, judging from my own experience, there may be elements that are being reflected to you about yourself that you might want to think more about.

      1. Thanks for your response. Although I didn’t think of it as my weakness but it could be. I know that his previous girlfriend was willing to bind to his will however he used the fact that she was over weight to dump her after 8 years. I found it odd that he would flaunt this obese woman in front of me and his room mates after ridiculing his over weight ex and room mate but his mind is not logical. We only live a few blocks away so it is easy for me to tell that someone is over and he has an open door policy that most of his friends and neighbors pop in. I have stopped by almost every day while I was out walking me dog. Sometimes I would take his dog with mine to the park so for me to arrive at his house unannounced wouldn’t be unusual.

        I was married to an addict so I know the patterns and understand what I need to do to get out of this relationship. Since we live close to each other It is harder because his womanizing is not legal and I can’t have him thrown in jail so I can break the cycle. I may need an intervention perhaps move away.

  8. Hi, My name is Danny, I believe I am a sociopath, I cant exactly describe if I am a high or low functioning sociopath cause I have not yet tried what sort of destruction I am capable of, I do know I am capable great destruction.
    I read pretty much all the posts here and including the entire article. I have studied counselling (BSc Hons), I am capable of manipulating anyone I know or have come across, deception, lies, made up stories, manipulation of famous quotes by famous people comes natural to me, its like I have pre-functioning lie producing factory in my mind, Do I always lie? well read on.
    SO FOR THE REASON OF MY POSTING THIS COMMENT HERE:
    is less to brag about it all and more with may be there should be our side of story.. I am a 29 year old men, I am 6ft tall, fairly built and may be slightly attractive in traditional standard, I have an IQ of 167, I have slept with over 110 Girls/Women, I earn between 38-43k (British Pound), I am kind, helpful towards people I know or care about, I am a extremely patient and a great listener But at the same time, I am blunt, harsh and always very straight to point as long as I am not hurting someone’s feeling with my words or actions, who doesn’t deserve it, and mostly the smartest guy in the room but I prefer being quite and observant, most of you who are reading this probably already calling me or thinking I am an arrogant arse hole, but I am being as honest and forthcoming as possible to perhaps explain a little bit of our (sociopaths) side of the story,
    Here are the things I don’t do:
    I am not blood sucking freeloader, I do not and never have been in any relation romantic or otherwise to rip people off for financial gain.
    I have not been in long term relation for 3 years therefore I do have a lot of one night stand and I often go out purely seeking pleasure BUT it does not mean I break hearts or cheat on girls, If I am in a relation with anyone, even for two weeks I would not sleep or have affair with another girl. I treat girls with utmost respect even if I don’t appreciate their views and ways, for instance we all big-headed twats, think they deserve all the happiness in the world while being harsh, cruel, racist or offensive towards anyone average looking or below average, yet I still treat them like princesses and tolerate their behavior and thats not only for sex but thats just the moral code I live by (I know pretty fucked up don’t worry I know)
    I like to think I am good friends as all my friends know I am always there for each and every one of them, in fact any feud or rivalry of a friend I take it very personally, if someone screw around or hurt any of my friend or family, I would go to great length to hurt them back in ways there never could possibly imagine (given they deserve it, if my friend\family are at wrong then I’d likely not do that)
    I am capable of reading almost imminently what sort of person I am talking to in matter of minutes, I do use that to my advantage whether I am looking for a partner to have fun with, going for a small business venture or simply any activity on social life, for instance: picking up a girl in mall/party/clubbing I do learn as much as I can about them which comes natural from body language. dressing style, accent, confidence and their social skill, all of which help me determine, what would she be interested in, what she would like or not like etc, don’t get me wrong I do get rejected but in over 100+ attempts in last couple of years alone I have only been rejected less than 20 times and out of those 20 times I manage to still convince 18 of them to either give out their number or take mine. My point is again not bragging but simply stating out the fact what I am capable of YET I don’t change my accent, become someone that I am not, I do not lie about my profession, I do not pretend to be rich even if I know that something a girl would be interested in, I also don’t as recently heart broken man to gain sympathy or win a soft corner.
    like I said and mentioned twice I do not hurt people for fun, take advantage of them financially or simply because I can, in fact I have a Robin Hood complex sometime I find myself getting involve in other people business if I know I can help them.
    I am capable of empathy but not towards everyone, I am twisted so I do not take anyone’s word for anything, even a most humble gesture to me is suspicious and I am always looking for reasons behind someone kindness etc. In fact I am most twisted person I have ever met and in fact I have been pretending to be normal pretty much all my life, acting as I am not as smart and dumb sometimes, letting people win arguments, and everything to stay under the radar, as except friends, family and some colleagues I am just an ordinary guy, to whom who truly know what I am capable of I am The Mentalist and the problem solver no matter the issue (though half the time I have no clue how to help them)
    I probably can go on and share few experiences and venture of my life but I am probably being irritatingly boring to most of you, therefore I will quit my life story. but after reading the article where it says almost ALL OF US SOCIOPATHS are extremely dangerous (I agree), always lying, deceptive, we do not have remorse or incapable of apathy, thats something I do not agree upon as not all of us are just selfish blood sucking twats with means to just do harm.
    I am subscribing to this page and article with email alert so I wanna offer if any of you have any question, curiosity, confusion or simply wanna know something about me or my kind (lol) please just reply to me here I am willing and would like answer any and all queries, question etc.
    TO ADMIN: Perhaps I can make my own topic/article/post to offer people to understand us better and answer any relevant questions.
    Danny Sid

  9. Hi, My name is Sid, I believe I am a sociopath, I cant exactly describe if I am a high or low functioning sociopath cause I have not yet tried what sort of destruction I am capable of, I do know I am capable great destruction.
    I read pretty much all the posts here and including the entire article. I have studied counselling (BSc Hons), I am capable of manipulating anyone I know or have come across, deception, lies, made up stories, manipulation of famous quotes by famous people comes natural to me, its like I have pre-functioning lie producing factory in my mind, Do I always lie? well read on.
    SO FOR THE REASON OF MY POSTING THIS COMMENT HERE:
    is less to brag about it all and more with may be there should be our side of story.. I am a 29 year old men, I am 6ft tall, fairly built and may be slightly attractive in traditional standard, I have an IQ of 167, I have slept with over 110 Girls/Women, I earn between 38-43k (British Pound), I am kind, helpful towards people I know or care about, I am a extremely patient and a great listener But at the same time, I am blunt, harsh and always very straight to point as long as I am not hurting someone’s feeling with my words or actions, who doesn’t deserve it, and mostly the smartest guy in the room but I prefer being quite and observant, most of you who are reading this probably already calling me or thinking I am an arrogant arse hole, but I am being as honest and forthcoming as possible to perhaps explain a little bit of our (sociopaths) side of the story,
    Here are the things I don’t do:
    I am not blood sucking freeloader, I do not and never have been in any relation romantic or otherwise to rip people off for financial gain.
    I have not been in long term relation for 3 years therefore I do have a lot of one night stand and I often go out purely seeking pleasure BUT it does not mean I break hearts or cheat on girls, If I am in a relation with anyone, even for two weeks I would not sleep or have affair with another girl. I treat girls with utmost respect even if I don’t appreciate their views and ways, for instance we all big-headed twats, think they deserve all the happiness in the world while being harsh, cruel, racist or offensive towards anyone average looking or below average, yet I still treat them like princesses and tolerate their behavior and thats not only for sex but thats just the moral code I live by (I know pretty fucked up don’t worry I know)
    I like to think I am good friends as all my friends know I am always there for each and every one of them, in fact any feud or rivalry of a friend I take it very personally, if someone screw around or hurt any of my friend or family, I would go to great length to hurt them back in ways there never could possibly imagine (given they deserve it, if my friend\family are at wrong then I’d likely not do that)
    I am capable of reading almost imminently what sort of person I am talking to in matter of minutes, I do use that to my advantage whether I am looking for a partner to have fun with, going for a small business venture or simply any activity on social life, for instance: picking up a girl in mall/party/clubbing I do learn as much as I can about them which comes natural from body language. dressing style, accent, confidence and their social skill, all of which help me determine, what would she be interested in, what she would like or not like etc, don’t get me wrong I do get rejected but in over 100+ attempts in last couple of years alone I have only been rejected less than 20 times and out of those 20 times I manage to still convince 18 of them to either give out their number or take mine. My point is again not bragging but simply stating out the fact what I am capable of YET I don’t change my accent, become someone that I am not, I do not lie about my profession, I do not pretend to be rich even if I know that something a girl would be interested in, I also don’t as recently heart broken man to gain sympathy or win a soft corner.
    like I said and mentioned twice I do not hurt people for fun, take advantage of them financially or simply because I can, in fact I have a Robin Hood complex sometime I find myself getting involve in other people business if I know I can help them.
    I am capable of empathy but not towards everyone, I am twisted so I do not take anyone’s word for anything, even a most humble gesture to me is suspicious and I am always looking for reasons behind someone kindness etc. In fact I am most twisted person I have ever met and in fact I have been pretending to be normal pretty much all my life, acting as I am not as smart and dumb sometimes, letting people win arguments, and everything to stay under the radar, as except friends, family and some colleagues I am just an ordinary guy, to whom who truly know what I am capable of I am The Mentalist and the problem solver no matter the issue (though half the time I have no clue how to help them)
    I probably can go on and share few experiences and venture of my life but I am probably being irritatingly boring to most of you, therefore I will quit my life story. but after reading the article where it says almost ALL OF US SOCIOPATHS are extremely dangerous (I agree), always lying, deceptive, we do not have remorse or incapable of apathy, thats something I do not agree upon as not all of us are just selfish blood sucking twats with means to just do harm.
    I am subscribing to this page and article with email alert so I wanna offer if any of you have any question, curiosity, confusion or simply wanna know something about me or my kind (lol) please just reply to me here I am willing and would like answer any and all queries, question etc.
    TO ADMIN: Perhaps I can make my own topic/article/post to offer people to understand us better and answer any relevant questions.
    Sid

    1. What makes you think that you are a sociopath? If you are a sociopath and therefore a compulsive pathological liar why would anyone believe your answers? What disturbs me, is that you are a counsellor? Therefore your clients think you are helping them with empathy. But realistically you can only fake empathy. Respond to people by telling them what they want to hear, by mirroring them reading them accurately. While you might be able to offer upr .. how fake is that? Can you really be with the client? Sociopaths in counselling setting I find disturbing :(

      1. Your mind is pretty limited and lack the ability to truly grasp how the sociopath mind works, had I known you in real life and after knowing that if you have a remote idea about who sociopaths are and their capabilities, would in million years I ever tell you what I am.
        You have been hurt by one therefore your acceptance will remain like a narrow pipe line for everyone who disagree with your views, please accept my apology I am not calling your arrogant or ignorant for that matter but simply a emotionally hurt which is the hardest to jump back from. Anyhow enough of your views analysis. I am pretty sure you will happen to disagree with me entirely .
        Its a clandestine way of life, you might never see another sociopath ever telling you about his ability or disability whatever you call it, I am just trying to emphasize on the point where we are made out to be the monsters (rightly deserve in most cases) but there are those of us who are not fit onto your criteria of Sociopaths lore.
        We dont have secret societies, or panty sniffing clubs in secretly organize locations (no offence) we are human beings and like everyone else we have choice between to do or not to do.
        I have a best friend quite possibly the smartest friend I have and 4th smartest person I personally know in this world, he has been the player from his teenage hood till now and have slept with more woman than I can count (that I know of) he cheats, he does one night stand, lie and does all kind of shameful act for sexual pleasure but he is the most loyal friend all his friend would say, served in military, loves his family and is one of the most helpful human being I know, my professional opinion is he has Hypersexual Disorder (HSD) but does that make him Sociopath cause he lies for Sex?
        I am being a counselor or shrink is disturbing for you, do you know any counselor or psychiatrist in real life, does it not gives you chills up your spine when they are staring at you, looking right through you, analyzing every word you say! So its amazing how you know something about sociopaths and not have a basic clue which profession most sociopath work prefer, not talking about bloodsucking low life con artists but enlightened and competent kind. The university I got my HCPC degree from I was the youngest student there, and knowing who I am I can read my kind in 2 minutes conversation at any topic, and what I learned was almost each and every individual in that class if some sort of sociopath or in making.
        So next time you see a counselor for any purposes or you have one as a neighbor perhaps, read the clear sign and you will understand us better, we are not all lying cheating and deluded lost souls.
        I did expect you to be smarter though, sadly your too narrow minded yet, with high hopes more you will learn about us more clear you will become how flawed you were at your conclusion.
        Ps: most people who read or comment on your blog are possible victims, undetermined whether or not their supposed deceptor is even a sociopath, so think of it like a studying a rare leopard found only in K2 Mountain while sitting in Mojave Desert. (excuse any typos or mistakes I may have made, I didn’t have time to read through all before posting as my mind currently is all over the places.)

      2. Most people who write here are victims as the site is called ‘dating a sociopath’ so would think that would be fairly obvious. You are right partially, it is alarming that socios work in psychiatric/counselling field. Although not surprising at all. After all they are good at reading people.

        With regard to my ignorance, is it ignorance if so many victims understand it and relate? Perhaps a victims view of a situation is different to a sociopaths?

        All sociopaths lie. …… You saying that they don’t is merely an illusion.

      1. Someone who has no guilt empathy remorse or shame. Just no conscience. That nagging feeling in the back of your mind. The need to put things right. The feeling bad if you do something to hurt someone else. Just thought for someone else rather than your own needs.

      2. PG I think what you seem to lack here is the wisdom to truly grasp the understanding of deceptive mind, you asked the silliest question only a child would ask, you said “All sociopaths lie. …… You saying that they don’t is merely an illusion?”

        well answer is ALL HUMAN lie, I have seen supposed Saints who lie on constant bases, Teachers who live to their Students, loving and caring husband lie to their wives for mistakes they have made, so does the most loyal wives.. Does that make them Sociopath.

        So your argument became null base on your own assumption of all deceptive liars lack Empathy.

        Here’s an example if you are willing to listen and try to understand where I am coming from: Lets say per argument sake “your neighbor is a cruel man, who beats your dog regularly, then one day he kills your dog, you call the police on him he gets nothing in the name of self defense” its very easy to hate him from here on out, unless you’re some pious religious saint, which of course you’re not. So you hate him and cant stand him cause every time you look at him he reminds you of your dog who you dearly loved. Then one day you see him being attacked by bunch of bees, you stand there and watch and some how in fact you enjoy it, cause you feel like justice is being served, you say to yourself he had it coming, he’s a cruel cruel man and he absolutely deserve it.

        There, right at the moment, that’s lack of empathy, in fact that you are glad on his misery which then makes you the cruel person, yet you cant bring yourself to feel sorry for him, because you CHOOSE not to feel sorry for him and that is well justified for many reason.

        Now the point I was trying to make there, was very simple, just like any practice, apathy or empathy are emotional response we choose or choose not to act upon, it isn’t a feeling of freight or anger which we do not have control over.. which then proves Sociopath can choose to feel or not feel the need to show empathy.

        So your judgement of them being incapable of feeling the empathy was ridiculous on its own, Everybody lie for personal gain, some feel bad about it some don’t, Sociopaths are just better liars and they are just more selfish which allows them to work beyond the boundaries of conscience, all of that because they choose to be that way, not because they’re incapable of feelings, conscience, remorse or empathy.. but simply they choose not to feel it, but there are those of us who choose to feel those emotions and despite its one of the hardest thing to do, we choose to self sacrifice for something we believe in, not because we are blinded by devotion or overwhelming feelings but because we choose to be good and not selfish.

        Even now if you feel you are not satisfied and your stance of “Oh sociopaths are evil and all bad and the world needs to be rid of them” then dear its not sociopath who needs help, you do, that’d be my professional assessment too.

        If you choose to counter my argument regardless then do it by explaining yourself in details, is to why I’m wrong about the neighbor/dog scenario, or why you are more sure than I am to about SPs are incapable of feelings, and prove it by facts and not rhetorical phrases like “oh I know socios are bad coz I have first hand experience or i have seen enough”

        Will wait for your sensible response of course. Again, be thorough.

      3. The thing is we are not the same. Firstly I don’t hate anyone (I don’t think) people might annoy me, but I wouldn’t go as far as to hate them. That is a strong word. if someone beat a dog to death, yes I would be disgusted, if someone beat him in retaliation, no I wouldn’t secretly be happy about that at all. As I don’t like violence. No, its not lack of empathy. I am an empath which means that i feel how other people are feeling (whether i want to or not) including the person who beat the dog).

        No, everybody doesn’t lie for personal gain. Where have I ever written, in all of the thousands of words I have written on this site all sociopaths are evil and the world needs to be rid of them?’ I haven’t written that, although – I probably would laugh at a series of sociopath island (perhaps this would be lack of empathy) maybe?

        I returned to the sociopath in my life, (am unsure which post you are posting on as I am in the comments section), but if it was written in 2013, I returned to him in 2014. He did behave a bit better, but – to be honest, I was stunned when I read a lot of old posts, and word for word, it was the same behaviour he had repeated. The only difference, was 1. I wasn’t traumatised, 2. He was far better and skilled at what he was doing, so I was even less aware. Until I read the posts back!! We ended on fairly normal terms, he had controlled me so much i became too boring for him lol

        So, no not all people lie for gain. Not all people are manipulative and deceptive. Lets face it sociopaths lie even when they don’t have to.

      4. The first five things all fit into the same catagory and with deception and lies, well, you can’t have one without the other. So, to put it bluntly they have no conscience and are deceptive?

      5. That was a stupid reply. Mentally, not physically. Human characteristics have been taught to us, unlike other species who have instinctive characteristics. Since you need a more explained answer, what are our instinctive characteristics? The popular vote on sociopaths describe them as subhuman. If their characteristics match ours, then I would not reccomend treating them treating them like monsters, no matter how disrespectful they may be. Doing so makes you just as bad.
        Might I add, anyone who has pro probably views them as a sociopath, as they do you. I don’t mean you or and direct comment, I am just making a general observation.

  10. My marriage is in falling apart. My wife cheated on me. I’m not sure wether she is getting lonely because I started working night shifts or she has no empathy or remorse for me or our family. My oldest daughter, Julia, who is soon moving out, won’t dare speak to her mother, and my wife doesn’t seem to care the slightest bit. My 8 year old son, Kyle, thinks that I am to blame, and he tells me to go away when I walk in his room, saying that its my fault mommy likes someone else. This is how I found out. When I asked her what he was talking about she looked nervous for a second and then told me that the cable guy who came over last week was who kyle was talking aboutand he probably mistook the situation for something else. It was a lie of course or i wouldn’t be here. Julia confirmed my suspicion telling me that no, there was no cable guy, especially not our usual one, but there was a man who was kissing her. Julia has always been a shy girl, and she was afraid to tell me. Apparently it wasn’t the first time this has happened.
    My working late has probably given my wife the chance to sneak around more. Not to mention Julia being out of the house more often due to her new “freedom”, and Kyle attending a sleepover almost every other day paves way for things like this.
    Oh look at me! The more I think about it the more I believe it. She is isn’t she! A person with no empathy or remorse. She has bought expensive items on my card without even asking me, resulting in an unexpectedly large payment on my part. When Julia’s appendix burst, she didn’t seem concerned for her in any way. She smiles at someone’s death or suffering although i don’t think she knows i see her do it. She has kept a journal since we were first married eleven years ago, which is written in a stange cipher. The journal has strange and rather disturbing drawings in it. I have been seeing a therapist every week and he told me that the journal was written the way it was out of some type of paranoia. We’re married for Christ’s sake! What is there to be paranoid about! Im a good husband. I would never do anything to hurt her ut she has found countless ways to hurt me mentally and emotionally. My therapist said she maybe a sociopath so i decided to do some research on the topic. That is how i came across this site. There are so many experiences similar to mine and I feel talking to someone with the same issue will aleveiate some of my stress. Someone please respond ASAP. I believe that speaking to someone with a similar issue is much better than a therapist. Thank you to anyone who responds. God bless.

    1. Hi James.

      This ISN’T your fault. I dont think that your wife is respecting you. I think that your son is probably lashing out at you, as you are the one that is there. He feels threatened that his mother is going to leave, so he lashes out on you. Again this isn’t your fault. What do you feel from reading peoples stories here. Do you think that possibly she is a sociopath? Whatever it doesn’t sound as if her behaviour is good for your health.

      1. I know its not my fault. I’ve done nothing to deserve this. It’s not lke I’ve ever beaten her or even missed one of our anniversaries or anything like that. Kyle is still very young so I have no reason to be frustrated in any way. I completely understand why he would be mad at me and ill have to explain it to him sooner or later or he’ll hate me for a long time, and he won’t even be certain why. After more extensive research i have come to the conclusion that she may be worse than i thought possibly even a psychopath based on the journal. What do you think about it?
        I am practically in tears with her but i need to be strong, especially if she is as i suspect. Thank you for the quick response.
        By the way there may be a duplicate of this message. It didnt show that it posted so i decided to rewrite it.if you find the duplicate could you delete it?

  11. I know its not my fault. At the very least she is a sociopath. I understand that Kyle is still very young so i have no reason to be frustrated in any way with him. What i cant get off my mind is the journal. That is the issue for me. She doesn’t know i know about it and it’s weighing on my conscience. I just keep wondering what it says in there. For all i know she could be doing some very dark things that make adultery look okay. I would really like your thoughts on it. And thank you for the quick reply.

    1. No, I don’t I think it was all about oil. Think about it….. what is better, than a war that never ends? How can it end? It isn’t against a country – its a war on terror. What does it thrive on FEAR. How do they control? Through FEAR. This has to be the biggest scam. What happened to Bin Laden? Oh and he was found (but nobody saw the body) as it was disposed in the sea. When did they find him, oh at the same time as the Royal Wedding, oh they quickly slipped that one in. And the World trade centres…. oh they found a passport at the bottom. What is a passport made of? paper, how does a paper document survive – in heat that is so hot, it burns down steel?

    2. Good question though Paula, and one that I would love to have a debate about. I feel quite passionately about it. What about the war with Iraq? I wrote to my government said that I opposed the war with Iraq, they went to war – for what? ….. there was no need to go to war with them. Innocent people were killed. Motive – Oil.

  12. What is it? Run PG down time, I ask myself why you feel the need eh? If you don’t agree with what’s written here, don’t come here and read it. PG has helped many people including myself with her knowledge, this knowledge gained from life experience and her years of training. I find her info accurate and it certainly made a lot of sense to me, having had past similar experiences, so if you don’t like it, go away, simples. Just because you’re qualified via books, don’t make your word any better than the next persons, in fact, I’d rather go with the word of someone who has actually experienced these things anyday.
    Keep up the good work PG you’ve helped so many get their lives back on track, don’t let the minority steer you from your vocation, what you are doing here is wonderful. :)
    Jen. xxx

    1. Thank you!! Such kind words, It wasn’t easy to come back and continue to write. I think the last few weeks, has taken a lot of strength. I think sometimes when you write a blog, that people don’t think that you are human, normal. Or even real. Or they put you on such a pedestal, the only thing that you can do is, fall. I don’t really get that personally, if someone has helped me, I am grateful for that help. It makes it hard to write though – like stage fright :) Thanks for your support, it means a lot.

      1. I’m glad you did and I know it’s taken incredible strength for you to do so. Don’t take any of that negativity on board, if they have a problem, it’s their problem, not yours. Keep your focus on all the good you’ve achieved so far. Yes we are only human, I totally agree there and same as yourself, I’m only grateful for any help I receive. Think about it, the reaction from them, are your words equipping people eh? Why lash out at you and try to demean your words? You keep writing, like I said, what you are doing here is wonderful and helping many broken souls to mend. :) It’s my pleasure to support you and I will continue to do so, I recognise an earth angel when I see one, :)
        Have a beautiful day, big hugs your way!
        Jen. xxx

  13. Oh please take that sherlock picture down
    it makes the blog look ridiculous
    less informational and more… fangirl.

    its an interesting blog, but it needs some work. Constructive criticism:
    1. I understand that its meant to cover the things you need to be cautious of when you know a sociopath, but its a bit one sided.
    2. Give a better description of the differences between hi and lo functioning sociopaths, its unclear.
    3. Be even more thorough when describing a sociopath, as a few people who have commented seem to think that if someone cheats or even does something as simple as lying qualifies the person as a sociopath. Sometimes they are just broken people.
    4. It would be interesting if you wrote the differences between psychopaths and sociopaths, as they are commonly confused.
    5. Check the entire blog for typos. I dont think i needed to write that, but oh well.

  14. I definitely feel like I’m a sociopath. I’ve always never cared about other people’s problems. To me, if the problem did not affect me, then it wasn’t important. Everything is like a video game. If I break your car window in the middle of the night, and come up to you in the morning time (taking into account the exact time that I would normally be outside to witness the event), and I claim to you that I saw so and so do this to your car, but you didn’t hear it from me. I know that you would blame that person because you already have disdain for that person. So automatically, your mind would have no problem accusing the person of the crime, simply on the basis that you don’t like them. If the person I claimed to see ended up finding out that I was the one who pin pointed them for the crime, when confronted, I would simply claim that there must be a misunderstanding, when I talked to him, he stated “it must be that fuckin so and so guy. he was the one who said it was you. not me, man”. By doing this, I use the same strategy as before, using your disposition against someone to control the situation without raising an eyebrow towards myself. If worse came to worse, and both people gathered in front of me to question me at the same time, I would simply claim “look, guys, obviously a lot has happened, but I have problems in my life too, and I have too much on my plate already to get involved with this whole ordeal” and that would effectively, and reasonably remove me from the conflict. What would be left is a broken window, and two people who absolutely hate each other now, and I would sit back, play some video games, and smile at the fact that I’m so much smarter than these two idiots and how I can play them like a musical instrument. I take pleasure in knowing that I can out smart someone. It makes me feel like I’m better than them, and the only reason I do it, is because I hate myself, and for good reason too. It’s a destructive circle, that has no end. And also, on an end note, I would make sure to keep an extra close eye on my vehicle for a few months after that, just in case one of the idiots decided to take matters in to their own hands. You wouldn’t be able to get me back, because I would already be expecting you to, and would be prepared to present evidence, and put charges on your ass so fast, you wouldn’t know what hit you. And you think Sociopaths are bad in the real world? Just wait until you meet me in court where technicalities are the rule of the game and you have to prove EVERYTHING. To put it lightly, You’ll be my bitch for the entire trial. I’ll play my cards perfectly. You wouldn’t stand a chance simply because your morals and conscious would hold you back, where as I would limitless.

      1. Stupid much?
        course he doesnt care.
        i wouldn’t either.
        karma is just a superstition and often used as a representative phrase.
        In a sense we’re a little more evolved. Minimal or no emotions or conscience allow for a more limitless lifestyle, get what you want, the art of manipulation. Gotta love it.
        You caveman. Get grumpy. Lose control. Life manipulate you.

  15. I was diagnosed twenty years ago. I’m 28 now. I’m high functioning.
    These pages always give me a giggle. The DSM never worked because it’s hard to find a sociopath that would give consent to in depth analysis without manipulating the results.

    And to be fair- empaths are manipulative just not as conscious of your manipulations. We are. And we have morals- they are our own and not subject to your opinion though some may be the same as yours.

    I am motivated by challenge. It’s my drive. People, even those that know me well and what I am, think me a good person. My motives are never altruistic in intent even if the result is communally positive. My reasons are always selfish. I won’t better you at cost of me- but I will better you if it betters myself. Quite simple. And while most are- I am not a liar.

    If I lie it is because you asked a question about someone else in a way which could not be subverted with careful wording and I have reason to protect their secrets. I enjoy the challenge in always speaking truthfully. If you ask me properly you will always get a true AND honest answer. It’s more entertaining to speak true words and cause someone to believe a lie with those words than to lie to them– plus it saves my mind having to remember the lie for later.

    Do quit trying to lump all sociopaths together. We are as varied as everyone else. We just happen to have the convenient skill of forgoing emotion. High functioning empaths can choose to be emotional but we see no reason to allow such illogical influence in our minds. We understand emotions implicitly- what we do not understand is why empaths are so attached to them that they would allow themselves to go through so much needless trauma. We even understand love more completely. it is an unconditional emotion and for most of you that isn’t possible. We know better than to trust other sociopaths and most empaths pay lip service to love and believe their own lie.

    I happen to have met someone that challenges me, fascinates me and is very fun to look at. He fell in love with me knowing what I am. One person on this planet is safe from my manipulation. One person on this planet means more to me than I mean to myself. Attempting to reconcile logic to love is a challenge most sociopaths wouldn’t even consider. But he fascinates me, shocked me when we met, and is physically stunning. I found an empath with a combination of traits I found worthy of compromising my self control for. I love him without reservation… But it is detachable. If it came down to it I would willingly make him hate me if it were in his best interest and not be bothered by the choice or result.

    There is one big difference between myself and an empath. It is this;

    My mind belongs to me and not those around me. I am free. My choices are real, not illusory. The greatest weapon and tool a human has spends most of its energy at war with itself while my mind is in harmony.
    ;)

    1. Hmmm…. You say your mind is free? I would say you have less freedom simply as you have to always be on guard secretive that must be hard work… You say you enjoy speaking the truth which means that’s effort not freedom being free is being who you are and accepted and loved for exactly who you are.

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