Are you feeling stuck? hurt? damaged? Unable to move forward? Are you reading as much as you can, which makes you understand about THEM, but still you feel this pain inside of you?
Do you want this pain to go away? To you want to get out of the mind set that the Sociopath created for you? Do you feel that they have damaged you in a way that cannot be undone? Do you feel that your life cannot ever be the way that it once was, or that you will never be the person that you once were?
If this is you, if you are feeling this way, if you are returning to this site, and many others, reading, yet still at a later period find that you are returning to the pain once again, you might be interested in this post
The truth about sociopath abuse, why it traps you, and how easy it is to set yourself free – for good!
Sociopaths do lots of things repeatedly. Sometimes they are like a robot, repeating the same things over. Worse is that lots of sociopaths all repeat the same thing. I observed this in 2012, and began to write this blog with confidence in 2013, I knew that they all operated the same way.
I spent a lot of time, writing about the psychology of a Sociopath, I wrote a lot of posts about moving to survival too. However, none of those posts, really tackled the key issue. I wrote a post about core soul wounds, and how sociopaths focus on the core soul wound, and why this is painful. I still believe this to be true. Healing this core wound, would help with feeling better long term. Unless I was to work 1-1 with everyone (as everyones core soul wound is different) it would be impossible to achieve with a blog post.
I am a lightworker, I was unsure what to do with this blog, as I know that it still has a lot of traffic daily. I asked spirit, to please show me the answer, if you want me to start writing, then I need something that is unique. I need to understand the patterning for healing. I have understood the patterning of Sociopathy, I needed to understand the patterning of healing for the victim. What is the key? I promised myself that if I had this, I would trial it, and see if it worked for me. If I felt it did, then I would write here.
The sociopath focuses on LOSS
Sociopaths often find a target that is ‘missing’ something in their lives. Someone who:
- Has a broken heart (they can heal)
- Is financially on hard times (they can help)
- Has been betrayed in the past (they can build trust)
- Is looking for support (they will offer this)
- Is bereaved (they will support you through)
- Is feeling ‘lost’ (they will help you find yourself)
In the beginning, the sociopath will be attracted to whatever it is that you feel is missing in your life, and will offer to fix this for you. It feels like a match made in heaven. You cannot believe your luck and quickly you are swept off of your feet.
A relationship with a sociopath is all about loss
Further into the relationship, you will learn, that rather than helping to enhance your life, fixing and healing those things that they promised, the reverse is true. Within time you will start to experience loss. This could be (not an inclusive list):
- Financial loss
- Loss of career
- Loss of reputation
- Loss of family/friends/social network
- Loss of home
It is not always that you lose any of the above. Sometimes, it is the perceived THREAT that you could/would lose these things, that keep you trapped and tied to the sociopath.
If you have financially or otherwise invested, and have experienced loss. You might feel tied to the sociopath and their false empty promises, that they will pay you back, or repair damage that is done. This keeps you hanging on, stalling for time, is a great game for the sociopath to play. The longer that they can stall your time, and waste your time, the more losses you occur.
One day, you might wake up, and think, enough! You make moves to end the relationship, you feel you HAVE to do this, otherwise, you will incur further losses. Sociopaths observe their prey very carefully and are almost always one step ahead in the game. If you try to leave before the sociopath is ready to let you go, you could also experience ruining and smear campaigns against you. When the sociopath can no longer control you, they will try to control how other people see you. You might be stunned to learn, that leaving the relationship, rather than protecting losses, incurred further losses as the sociopath starts a campaign against you, while playing victim to whomever will listen.
How you focus on loss within the relationship
You may have gone into the relationship with a good heart. You might have been open and honest, and shared willingly whatever it was that you had to share. People do that right?
The sociopath deliberately targets and manipulates the victim to get what they want. If you felt uncomfortable, as likely you did, they get off on this, on watching you squirm on watching how difficult it is for you.
So you become defensive, you decide that you will not allow this person to take anything further from you. While in the relationship, if you cant escape, you protect yourself. Changing passwords on social media, putting a lock on your phone, changing the pin number to your bank card, stopping socialising and introducing him/her to people.
Just these things above, are losses, they are loss of freedom. The more that you try to protect yourself from further loss, the more that you are stuck within the cycle of loss. The sociopath enjoys this very much.
Escaping from the relationship
There are four ways that you escape from a relationship with a sociopath
- They die
- They get sent to jail
- They find a new source of supply
- You escape and hope that they will not hunt you down
How to fully heal and recover – as if they never existed!
Gratitude – Focus on Gratitude