Merry Christmas – A message to those who are either still in the relationship – or if the sociopath is still lurking around!

 

stages-of-leaving-an-abusive-relationship

Merry Christmas!

I hope that you have had a peaceful Christmas, that was free from abuse, control, or just making you feel bad. I really hope you are free. But i know from recent survey on the site, that this is not the case for many. I ran the survey because I wanted to know how many of my readers were either still stuck in the relationship, or who had escaped but the sociopath was still lurking around. I expected the numbers to be high, and they were. I will publish the poll results later in this post.

Why it can be difficult to escape the control of a Psycho or Sociopath

Many people might ask the question

If he/she is treating you so bad, then why do you stay? Or why can’t you get rid of him/her?

This article is relevant for both Psychopaths and Sociopaths, so i will just use the term psycho to describe both. No offence to the psychos who read this site – it is easier for me to write.

Victims stay, out of fear. Often your life would have been whittled down to nothing. The psycho will do all that they can, to ensure that they and only they are centre stage in your life. When you try to leave you could experience the following:

  • Threats
  • Blackmail
  • Experience of things getting worse, much much  worse as they start to carry out threats
  • Further losses (financial, social, employment, family, friends)
  • Bombardment of communication
  • Following through of threats, attempts to damage your reputation

It is like holding tight onto a boat, that it is sinking. You cling desperately to the sinking boat thinking that if you let go you will drown. Or at least that is the way that it can feel.

I can assure you, that you will not drown anymore than you already have done. That you will survive. That you are stronger than you think you are.

Keeping in contact to retain their happiness, can feel like ‘damage limitation’. You are trying to avoid further losses and damage. After all, you have been through so much already. Or perhaps life is peaceful right now and you don’t want to rock the boat. You know that it won’t remain peaceful. It will get worse again. You will suffer further losses. You might even find that your own personality changes, and you wonder if you have become just like them?

The truth is, it doesn’t matter WHAT YOU DO to limit damage, the OUTCOME WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME.

You might think that keeping on their good side, will prevent you being hurt further, and stop further losses, but this thinking is wrong. The outcome is always the same. You cannot stop them doing what they do. You cannot damage limit a psycho. Causing damage and destruction is part of their nature. Even if they pretend that it isn’t.

Psychos like to destroy their victims. They like to ensure that NOBODY else would want you. They ensure that they finish you off, as much as they can. It doesn’t matter if you are keeping on their good side now. They WILL NOT AND CANNOT CHANGE. You need to understand this. All that you are doing, by staying or allowing contact, is delaying the inevitable.

Results of the recent poll

This are results of recent poll on the site you can view and sign the poll here 

Why are you visiting dating a sociopath today?
You are a victim, and are out of the relationship learning the truth, sociopath still lurking around 30.19%  (112 votes)  
You are a victim and have been sociopath free, and no contact for 6 months or more 25.88%  (96 votes)  
You are a victim and are learning the truth, the sociopath has abandoned you 18.33%  (68 votes)  
You are a victim still in the relationship 12.13%  (45 votes)  
Other: 6.2%  (23 votes)  
You think you are a sociopath or psychopath but do not have a formal diagnosis 3.5%  (13 votes)  
You are here for research purposes 2.43%  (9 votes)  
You have received a formal diagnosis of Psychopath or Sociopath 0.81%  (3 votes)  
No reason, you just stumbled upon this site 0.53%  (2 votes)  

 

Total Votes: 371
If I include those who have recently been abandoned,  as frequently they will show back up, suddenly and without warning with a quick ‘hi how are you?’, as if nothing has happened. The outcome of the poll is that more than half of you still have a psycho in your life. No doubt up to no good. Even if you do not realise this.
This time of the year is the perfect time, to make the change. Make the plan to get out, stay out and stay safe. Make 2017 YOUR year! 
Nobody has the right to control, manipulate, deceive, or violate you. Unless you give them permission to do so.
You might argue that right now things are good, and that your psycho isn’t that bad. Maybe you think you can handle them, or that they treat you differently to others, you are special. I can promise you, that you won’t know the real truth until you have left. I mean fully left them behind and started to rebuild your life.
Believe me, once you have left, you will see the REAL person who they are. Don’t be scared of this. It isn’t someone new. This is who you always were with, they just hid it well.
How do you get out in a safe way?
  • Tell them that the relationship is over, you want no further contact
  • Stick to no contact
  • Be firm. Inform that you will report to the police for harassment if they continue to contact you.
  • Let go of ‘what they owe you’ that they promise to pay back.
  • Ignore threats. They will do what they are going to do anyway. They are impulsive and lack control. It is likely that you might face further losses, but ride the storm. Once it is over – you will have nothing but gains. You can heal and rebuild.
  • Give no energy or power to them. Give them nothing at all.
  • Build your own support network. Start very small.
  • Follow through and report to the police if they continue to harass you.
  • Block them on social media. Don’t change your phone number, instead install an app to redirect their calls and messages, this can be used as evidence, without you being bothered.
  • It might feel like they will never leave you alone, but they will, if you give no energy at all to them. Just ignore them.
  • Focus on gratitude for the small things in your life. Try not to focus on your losses. By focusing on what you do have, letting go of what you don’t you will bring more of what you want towards you.
  • If you can afford it, book to see a therapist
  • Understand that psychological abuse can take some time to undo, heal and recover from. But know that you CAN and WILL get well. No matter how bad things are for you right now.
  • Do not, no matter how much time passes, respond to email, texts, calls, or contact on social media. Do not enquire how they are doing, or spy on their social media accounts. This will make your healing and recovery take longer.
  • If they continue to harass you, consider taking out an injunction order against them
Make it clear, that you WILL report to the police. That the matter will be between you and the police. Not you and them.
Please do, follow through if you say that you will do so. Even if the police do nothing, it does build evidence that you might need at a later date.
If you are living with them
If you are living in their property – This is trickier. But it can be done. Without their knowledge find somewhere else to stay. If you have a good friend or family member, go there. Try to do this when they are not around, or move your belongings out slowly. If you can have someone with you while you do this, this would be better, and safer for you.
Please don’t focus on losses. This is about regaining you, your self respect, your life, and moving to a place that you can heal.
If you don’t have a friend or family to stay with (I know that they can isolate you from others). Either secretly keep back money, to pay for a deposit elsewhere. Or leave and go to a domestic violence shelter. Contact a local branch for help and support with this. Take belongings that are important (paperwork/ID, essential clothes, photographs) leave as if you are never returning – hopefully you won’t.
If you jointly own property
You could apply for an injunction order to keep them away from the home. This is risky if you jointly own, It would be better temporarily to get out as above. You can sort out legal issues later. Getting out, and getting to a place of safety is the most important priority.
If they are living with you 
This is common, as they are often freeloaders, and like to live off of other people for free. If they live in your accommodation, it might be useful to obtain support from a local domestic violence agency. You could speak to the police, and say that you are in an abusive relationship and you want them to leave your home, could they offer support and assistance for you when you ask him to leave? Alternatively you could ask friends/family for help. But this is risky, as the psycho would know these people, and would likely cause further damage to your own support network that you will need to support you.
If necessary apply for an injunction order to keep them away from you.
  • Make sure that you change all door locks. Sometimes in certain areas, a domestic violence unit can help you with this.
Don’t be guilt tripped, or held back if they have nowhere to go. If you can for  a short period of time, it might be good to stay with a friend or family member that you trust. Expect that they might show back up at the house. If he/she does, remember that they are no longer your responsibility. Do not be guilt tripped or feel sorry for them. This cycle will continue forever, unless you break it. This is about safeguarding and protecting you.
What if you have children together?
It can be especially difficult to leave if you have children. You might be scared that the psycho will take your children away from you. This reason alone keeps many parents (particularly mothers) stuck in the relationship far longer than they should. Remember that the outcome is always the same. They will not change.
This article is for those who have children with one. There are also comments from other readers that might offer advice. Enlist support from people you trust, close friends and family. Likely they also would have been concerned for the safety and welfare of you and your child.
Try not to be frightened or intimidated. Again, bring in a professional agency to help you. Speak to a domestic abuse service in your area for additional support.
Look forward to the future! 
A new year is time to look forward. Please don’t look back, you are not heading in that direction. The sociopath will never change. They cannot change.
It is the perfect time, to start to walk in a new direction. No it likely won’t be easy. Leaving a sociopath is not easy. It is the most dangerous time. But if you don’t do it now – when will you? If you haven’t left yet, or if they are still around harassing you, please make it your 2017 new years resolution, to quit your attachment to them. To give them up. For good. To start to heal and recover and begin to live the life that you really deserve.
Merry Christmas
Copyright datingasociopath.com 2016

 

 

 

41 thoughts on “Merry Christmas – A message to those who are either still in the relationship – or if the sociopath is still lurking around!”

  1. This website saved my life in 2012, got me away. Gave me the answers I could’ve avoid and now I come to see how far I’ve come and how great it is seeing others get it! Having healed and being a healer of reiki ect I heal women from the whys and out of the emotional soul body which keeps the control. I became obsessive with understanding these people on a spiritual higher understanding place. Mine was the worst best thing that ever happened to me, I died to be reborn, into a powerful female who healed and knows how to heal others from it! You began it for me in help when I had no answers. You’re amazing!

  2. Thanks great advice.
    I am still struggling with no contact. When I get lonely I text her but she never replies. I was hurting but not much anymore. I am so glad she never replies it makes it easier to forget her.
    I did everything for her got her a home a job food and gave her thousands she said we were friends for life.
    Discarded next day.
    These people are sick.

    1. I was where you are now two years ago. Go day by day. You can and will find yourself again. Once the negativity and control and abuse is gone the good will come back to your life. You will come back to your life. You will be okay. Come back here next year and give a report. Goodness in your life is yours this coming New Year.

      Your USA friend.

    2. I was where you are as well. It does get easier. Take it day by day. I am now almost 4 months NC and any time i feel the urge to text or email him, I think to myself, NO. I’ve SAID everything I could possibly say.

      We used to spend 4-5 hours a day in contact. When he did his initial discard, and stopped all contact with me, offering no reason, I almost fell apart. Now I realize, that’s what he wanted. It was like withdrawal.

      BUT IT GOT BETTER. IT DID. IT WILL.

      Being NC makes me feel good about myself. Another day. I made it another day. It gives me back my power. I am taking my power back from him. (I also tell myself, he’s probably completely amazed that I have made it this long without trying to initiate contact.) THAT makes me feel like I’ve turned the tables on his game. ……..AND THAT IM THE ONE WINNING NOW!

  3. This has been my life for 6 years, so I am posting this to make people understand & spread awareness for not only my sake & my litl girl, but for anyone who has or is still living in an abusive situation. Don’t judge unless you’ve truly lived it because it is one of the most heart wrenching, humiliating, scary things to go through! The victim(s) keep getting revictimized from society, family and even friends in my personal experience & the abuser/perpetrators are protected in too many disgusting , down right wrong ways! So if someone does cry for help to you try to help, instead of turning your back on them like my too real experience! My suffering will never end, but luckily subsides enough for me to keep living & taking care of my little girl to the fullest of my ability thanks to being & remaining a strong-minded determined woman…story & awareness will need to continue…wake up & open your eyes people…help instead of closing your eyes & turning your back…this is real for far too many who suffer at the hands of an abuser…don’t “rekick” them…HELP, SUPPORT, CARE, UNDERSTAND BECAUSE ABUSE & ABUSERS DON’T DISCRIMINATE BECAUSE IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!!!

    1. I love this, you are so right. Absolutely it could happen to anybody. The nicer someone is the more likely they would be to be targeted. Or at least the more in need someone is. If they have something missing in their lives.

  4. Add another to the diagnosed “psychopath” (ASPD as they’re currently saying in the medical world – probably will change in time). Never saw the survey to take it.

      1. Hahaha yea – whatever they decide to call it at the time, it’s always fun that’s for sure. 😜

  5. Hoped to be free by Thanksgiving. Hung in there, hoping for a miracle, a change, better treatment. He’s reduced me to the functions I perform: cook, housekeeper, faceless, nameless sexual partner. I’m not materialistic, and good thing, for he has never bought me anything. But oh how I am hurting today after he spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on gifts for others and not a single dime on me. Not even a card. AND had me wrap some of those gifts to others. Of course I had given him some nice gifts, thoughtfully considered, and baked him all the goodies he told me to bake. I’m crushed. Not even sure why I’m so stunned except it’s CHRISTMAS. To purposely exclude, neglect someone who has given so much to the relationship …..

    1. Aw Gina – NEW YEAR NEW YOU – PLease get out, this is never gong to get better. I am sorry that you have had such an unhappy Christmas. But the only way to change this is to leave – being alone has to be better than this. At least you are capable of taking care of you.

      1. Thank you for being so direct. I’ve been downplaying the abuse for so long, it’s refreshing to hear a voice harmonize with my gut that I must get out. There’s a stubborn insistence to get answers, get one over on him, find a way to make him FEEL how badly he’s hurt me. Not exactly a safe way to be thinking right now.

  6. Gina you must free yourself before you are crushed. My ex did the presents for every one and nothing for me. They are evil. I gave here 10 k the day after she accused me of stealing a cooking pot then when crazy saying I was cheating and told me I had mental problems.
    Later she told me I was here best friend and that to teach me how to be a better lover I would be allowed to watch her with someone else.
    I quit went back quit felt guilty received more abuse then was discarded.
    The last five years have been hell a living he’ll get out gina it almost gave me a nervous breakdown.
    Love and peace
    Bob

    1. Thank you for sharing. I can sense your concern and I would be most unwise to ignore your advice. It sounds as though you have suffered terribly. I hope you find peace and healing. I also hope to report very soon that I am free from the loveless tyrant that replaced the man I fell in love with.

  7. I really hope you get free. I know what you mean about loveless Gina.
    I would tell her I love you her reply If you say so. So I would try to prove it in some way to which she’d reply that’s only liking someone.
    I would then try even harder to which she’d then say why are you acting so kind you are cheating all men are dogs.
    Then she would not speak to me for hours or if she was in bed cover her head and turn her back even though I had done absolutely nothing. Could go like this for days unless of course she needed something then she would switch in an instant to kind and charming.
    She was cruel.

  8. Add another one to sociopath still hanging around… Split up 4 months ago, constant twisted harassment since, it has now been 5 days since he last texted me… I am hopeful that I am finally free from it and that I can have a harassment free 2017… Hoping he has a new victim and then feeling guilty for that because I know what that person is about to go through… I am waiting for the smear campaign to begin… I know he is going to target one of my clients in order to hurt me financially… The smearing hasn’t yet started though and I can’t shake this feeling of dread… He is about to lose his house so I know I am still part of his future plans and he still refers to me as his partner which is getting more and more disturbing as I have made it so clear for the last few months that it is over and I do not believe a single word he says… He ruined my relationship with my daughter who moved out so I am now more vulnerable and alone… He tried to isolate me from my friends but my true friends are still there and I am so grateful for that… I am also so grateful for this site as you have helped me to stay strong and to stop biting to his bullshit… Since last contact from him 2 mutual friends are trying to make plans with me… Thank you for warning me to avoid this as I know their allegiance lies with him and that they are believing his sob story and fishing for info for him… I am rebuilding my relationship with my daughter and counting my blessings… May all of us be healed and learn to protect ourselves in future from these predators… We deserve so much better… You have made me realise that I need to deal with my abandonment issues, I was an easy target for this sleazebag pig… To a much less stressful year in 2017 & thank goodness this painful year is over… Again thank you so much xo

    1. Dear empath, wow your comment. Really touched my soul. I hear you. I am pleased you have some good friends. Also you are rebuilding your relationship with your daughter. Your emotions and feelings. I have been you. I hear you. You can do this. If he vanished for 5 days am sure sadly he will resurface. If its over they destroy and let you know. So prepare. You are an empath, so you know, you feel it. Happy new year to you. May 2017 be all that you wish it to be. You will repair. Rebuild and recover. You do not deserve what has happened to you. He will not change. Dissapearing at christmas is a favourite. Hurt you most at the worst time of the year. A year ago i made the change to walk my own pathway. To heal. Stick with good friends and do as much as you can that was good before he came along. There lies an accurate mirror image of you. Happy new year

    2. If he is going to threaten ur workplace & that is where U know him & he’s not the owner….GET in first in the New Year…he’s gonna try fuck U anyway & have U out….so, give it a try. Break down….tell them he solicited U…trying to play friendly. I know that could seem embarrassing (believe me, he would have known)…DON’T bow to his BS….workplaces are getting WISER to just simple sexual harrassment…stay FIRM!

  9. New years Eve I stayed home alone couldnt help it text her happy new year. …silence was deafening nothing then played our music you know music memories and i really cried maybe I need to mourn the end of all the cruelness
    Then I remembered how she called me a cheating dog and mentally ill every day for years for doing nothing except trying to help and be kind.
    I was abused as a kid so I suppose her cruelty reminded me of my horrible dad which i mistook for love.
    Amy Winehouse back to black is playing as I write this perfect song for my life at the moment.

    1. I loved Amy winehouse. I am just writing a post that you might like Bob. Did you get any support or therapy for what has happened to you? If she was a sociopath, no doubt she would focus on your core soul wounds (broken abusive childhood) and ‘heal’ ‘sooth’ what happened to you. Making you feel temporarily good about yourself, only to tear off the band aid whenever it suited her.

      This is again, a trick and illusion that they play to manipulate and deceive you. I PROMISE that you can heal and recover. You can do this in just one year. If you are focused and determined?

      It sounds like she was playing on your emotions. Making you feel bad about you. That sense of you, is still defined by her words. Which were said deliberately to pull you down.

      You are free from her now. It can no be time to let go, and to build a realistic accurate narrative of you.

      In the beginning, she mirrored you – to be just like you – later she would twist the mirror, offering back to you a twisted mirror image of you. It is now time for you to change this. For you to find the REAL mirror image of you.

      Could you afford to do therapy? It sounds like you could really benefit, and perhaps work on what really hurts you from deep within. Being let down by your parents. Not having the love that you should have.

      You are very deserving of real love. Of being with someone who does not hurt, use or abuse you. You so deserve this.

      Start by focusing on gratitude. This will start to take her away from your mind. Gratitude for your home, your bed, the food you eat. Focus on gratitude for every single tiny thing. From water in the kettle, electricity, anything. When you do this she starts to vanish. As you have nothing to be grateful to her for.

      Be determined that this is the year that you will heal and recover. You will discover the you that you were meant to be your whole life.

      You don’t have to hide anymore. You don’t have be ashamed. Make some goals, for you. Work towards achieving them, see the love flow back into your life. Happy New Year!

      1. The Magic by Rhonda Byrne a worthwhile read to help folk get through, one small day at a time?? :))

  10. Thanks just had to tell someone it helps .
    Five years ago I was doing really well
    After we met I’d say the first year was the most exciting time I’ve ever had ever.
    A dream a woman I hardly believed could exist. And sexual stuff was beyond anything I knew even existed.

    Five years on I am broke lost my job am in debt thanks to her and have no friends left. At the end I was almost a slave not allowed out unless to do the rubbish. She would lay in bed and cover her head and not speak for many hours unless I had to get her a drink. If I was sent on a chore I had to stay on the phone to prove I wasn’t cheating and any texts brought accusations.
    She would always say she must keep her friends close but her enemies closer
    I’d say I’m not your enemy
    She’d laugh and say all men are dogs.
    I was called so many things and told I was useless at everything car driving cooking reading writing everything
    She wouldnt even look at me at the end said I stank
    It was a gradual torture until I collapsed.

    1. Seriously, was this some woman so much younger than yourself & you hoped to delude urself? It’s not uncommon & esp showing up with foreign wanted brides – men thinking they can save them from some poor life in their homeland…when they can’t help a decent age appropriate woman in your own country. Either way…I bet she was younger…by alot!
      Trying to not judge here….but really?

      1. Plus ive been through enough thanks I found your comments less than helpful
        If you have nothing nice to say sometimes it’s best to say nothing at all.

    2. Point is…there are reptiles out there thru-out the whole world….LIARS, cheats…esp uncaring…even if U sense U are good looking, a really a nice person & gdness, even reasonably successful…sociopaths are PREDATORS, they will prey on U…their interest in sex is just a control mechanism. They care NOTHING for NO-ONE…except their gain…& it never matters their background…rich/poor…they simply have NO moral compass. This is not learnt…it’s in their DNA….a mutant version…not even their parents may have. The sad part is morality isn’t the LAW….interestingly, when alot of these REAL crazies go “off”, they end up finding themselves in jail…however, alot are slippery & are still out there.
      Come on…even in the old days when U were a kid without internet…there were arseholes for NO reason at school, even some smarter ones were nasty…where did U think they went? Well now, there is a reason…a diagnosis…& YEP: they will contest it & make out U are crazy. Best job….know who’s nice & those who just ain’t (esp acting out nasty for NO real reason)…if U made a mistake, those who are genuinely nice will be back (sociopaths NEVER apologise & neither do their minions)….the other Cluster B personalities, other than sociopathic….borderline personality disorder, the histrionic (the scream queens) or the SLIGHTLY LESS abusive to a real vindictive sociopath…the narcissist…the PAIN…is the same, trying to know them!
      The good NEWS…there are alot of ppl who ain’t…really NICE ppl!

  11. Any way sorry to go on we all have our crosses to bare thanks so much for your help and this wonderful site it saved my life
    Thank you

  12. “Christmas is their favourite time” to discard. Reassuring to read, thank you positivagirl, as this is what has just happened to me and my two girls who adored him. As an extra twist, he made sure he attended my youngest’s birthday party on 11 Dec with my whole family there, charming them and even haven written each a Christmas card with kisses on the envelope, before skipping off to the Bahamas for a rendezvous-vous with his Wife, allegedly to conclude the marriage. I had only discovered second hand just 4 months ago that he was still married to a THIRD wife – 2.5 years in to what I thought was a solid, amazing relationship with a gorgeous, caring 56 year old. I would NEVER have embarked on a relationship with him had I known. We shared house keys, wardrobe space, holidays and motorbiking trips in the UK (so easy for him to manage a double life). I was introduced early to his Mum, his 4 kids, 2 ex wives and 8 Grandkids. Our families were integrated. The shock of discovery and attempts to make sense of this Jekyll and Hyde man, who morphed into a cold-eyed, callous, dismissive monster as I sought to hold him to account and even mend our relationship, reduced me as a smart, professional woman to anti-depressants, anxiety pills and counselling. He is still in the Bahamas to “explore a possible future” with his Wife!! Typically ambiguous, open-ended language to keep me “in play” for his return on the 9th when he would like us to meet up “as friends, and who knows…”! I’ve been stonewalled all holiday, until I mentioned that a transport van was booked to remove his bike from my garage on the 4th! WHAT AN INSTANT TEXTING meltdown!!! Threats, emotional blackmail everything. On the 11th, now, I have agreed he can come himself to pick it up, not to see me at home, as I will simply be leaving the garage open, keys in the ignition so he can ride away. I guarantee there will be a knock at the door in attempts to reseduce me given that I am sure that he will have kept his poor Wife in the Bahamas warm under a reassurance of his return “one day”, ripping her heart apart again. They separated way back in 2009, but it seems he revisits every couple of years during which time I am now convinced he uses unsuspecting women as convenient stop gaps until he can retire presumably on the proceeds of the sale of her Bahamas properties which will apparently happen in 8 years time (!).
    I am day 5 NC since a New Year text and clear that I MUST wean myself of the addictive ideal/fantasy of a life he created together with the girls. It is SO hard, and my mind is exhausted with the grief of separation, humiliation, obsessively trying to work him/it out and process the trauma. I MUST not open the door if he rings the bell on the 11th or be sucked into any stalling tactics (his bike in my garage is the last physical hook into my life that remains). It is one difficult day at a time. But it is also punctuated by fleeting moments of intense relief and sense of release from a man who never complimented me, constantly referenced his exes, never expressed feelings or emotions, was always affectionate but knew to withhold sex too. Often turning hot and cold, he also, I am sure, exploited abondonment/rejection issues so my counselling is also focussing on dealing with my relationship to my mother, learning how to love myself whileheartedy in order to better detect and block men who are similarly narcissistic and emotionally abusive. Being empaths, we are most likely blessed to have also attracted similarly supportive and warm-hearted people (friends and family) into our worlds. 2017 is the year to restrengthen those ties, find new activities and to “cast outside our beautiful city walls” those who seek to harm our minds, our hearts, our souls. Let’s heal slowly but surely and leave to roam in the cold wilderness beyond those sad, pathetic, soulless tormentors picking up scraps of comfort where they can, but ultimately being consigned to a lonely, one-dimensional and estranged existence.
    Here’s to 2017 and to all my fellow noble and wiser empaths! Xx

  13. I dated a sociopath for 2 years. At first he was romantic and nice, took me to Paris on our first date. Then after I fall for him, he changed to a secretive, dramatic, arrogant, and selfish. However in a way, he can play it well to balance it with nice behaviour whenever I want to leave him. He push me away when I get too close. He works for government dfat and created story as if his job is a secret agent. Hence he can get away not in contact for a week or two. I fall for it as he was very convincing. He said his face can’t be seen on social media and he can’t declare our relationship to work until we get married. I followed him 2 years and we had nice times together travelling around. This makes me hard to leave him. But in other side, he got odd behaviour such as watching gory movies, torture videos, and often in upset mood saying wanting to kill someone. He creates stories about past relationship trauma and broken childhood. Then one day he said goodbye without reason. Cold heartedly with no explanation.

    I found out I got pregnant 2 weeks after we broke up so I look for him. That was when the truth revealed. He got defensive saying my pregnancy is not his problem as I am the one who should take care of this matter. He offered money and refused to take me to hospital due to his work load. Then I found out he got married on that week with a woman I dont even know exist.

    His stories, behaviour, love, etc are all fake! He creates story to control my emotions. Sociopath cannot love! I thought I can help him, but no one cant. They are monster with defected brain. Unfortunately if you are in relationship with one, RUN!! I come to a point where I think my ex should be in jail as he might hurt people physically and mentally.

    I lost everything and had to go for abortion myself as I dont want to carry this evil blood. I will survive and learn my lesson. Good luck with anyone who has similar case. Remember, RUN from a sociopath before you get completely ruined! I feel sorry for his family who raised him with love, yet ends up with such a deceitful human being.

    1. You really went through hell I hope things get better for you soon. He sounded horrible running away is the best idea.

  14. No contact for two years and counting. She has escalated her internet smearing campaign. Posted my name and photo on a cheater website in August, posted my place of work and a linked in profile accusing me of stalking her.
    Funny, I am remarried, live and work in Taiwan. She still harasses our daughter and her friends. Our son has blocked her. Over two years since the divorce and subsequent court action and she is still trying.
    I don’t miss her one little bit. I will live my life well and stay righteous with those that matter.
    For you all that are stuck in the rut, turn right or left and claw your way off this crazy track we were/are stuck on.
    No one needs the approval of a Soc to be alive and happy. Keep a level head and bury your heart and feelings deep, until you are home free. Once you do that, nothing else they do, emotionally, can hurt you.
    There is freedom.

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