Cunning and manipulative


The sociopath is the ultimate magician

I had practised tarot for a a long time, since I was young. I had no idea that the person that I was involved with, was either a sociopath, or even that he was a compulsive pathological liar. Shortly before he ran off with money that he had stolen from me, before I  realised that everything was fake, I had done tarot readings, which repeatedly brought up the magician card. It was reversed.

The meaning for this card is

Reversed Magician Tarot Card Meanings

 Magician can indicate greed, deceit, manipulation and using one’s skill and ability for negative ends. It can reflect trickery and cunning, untrustworthiness and mental confusion.

The reversed Magician may represent your typical used-car salesman. He uses his charm and his power in a manipulative manner to convince you of his point of view. Always be careful of this type. Make sure you know what you are buying into rather than being swept away by the excitement he generates.

It is funny how often we have all of the warnings in front of us. Yet we still refuse to see what is right before our very eyes.  A year ago today, he had taken my bank card and was helping himself to free cash from my bank.

The evidence, was right there in front of me. I did my tarot cards and said to him “I don’t understand, it is warning me, of a con man” he looked at me, and the cards and said “Well, that is rubbish, I am no con man”. I believed him because I didn’t want it to be true.

I wrote, in my diary, a year ago today,  how he had gone off, whilst I was in the shower, and was gone a long time, so say to the  shops. I wrote how I didn’t trust him.

The truth was, there was a reason for me to feel this way, as I later discovered, he wasn’t at the shop,he had taken my bank card, and was withdrawing cash. Planning his escape. He took £350.00 out of my account in two days. He was also using my card in shops.

The evidence,  was right in front of my eyes. I was suspicious.  I sensed it. I felt it. I brought it up with him. But because I didn’t WANT it to be true, I still wanted the illusion. Because he was selling me MYSELF and exactly what I wanted and because he was lying, deceiving, gaslighting, and deflecting, I ignored the signs that were staring me right in the face. I trusted him more than I trusted myself! 

This is the point. For many years I worked with vulnerable people. I often worked with women who were fleeing violent and abusive relationships. In early years, I wondered, why did they stay?  

People can stay in relationships with sociopaths for many years. Sometimes decades, simply because the sociopath is the master manipulator, the master magician. You are tricked, conned, fooled, lied to. It is not stupidity, it is because

1. They are very good at being a magician and presenting an illusion

2. You WANT this illusion that they have sold to you (because this is what they accurately assessed about YOU in the beginning).

3. You trust your partner, more than you trust yourself

And the final meaning for the reversed magician card that I kept pulling was this –

The Magician reversed often suggests that you may be out of touch with reality and struggling to bring yourself back down to earth. There may be confusion, impatience and lack of a clear plan. You need to return to the lesson of the Fool and free yourself from the current situation in order to give yourself some perspective and reassess the situation.

If you are in a relationship. And you see the signs, you sense deception, and you feel that something is not right. If the evidence is right there in front of you. Write it down. Go back to it. Revisit it. It is likely that your feelings are right!! The sociopath might tell you that you are being paranoid, stupid, use all his trickery and gaslighting to fool you some more.

He is teaching you, to trust yourself.

The longer that you stay with the sociopath, the greater your losses will be. After this date a year ago, it continued, he was to take money from my bank account again, in two days time.

And two days later he would leave, having stolen hundreds this week. And then, even more stupid, after a few weeks, I let him come back!!! And he did it all again for another two months. Getting me thousands into debt.

You might ask yourself why me? How did I deserve this? 

What you do not realise, is that there is nothing in life which is a mistake. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you need to meet the master magician, and be part of the greatest illusion, to learn, perhaps for the first time in your life, to – TRUST YOURSELF!!!

And this is the lesson of the relationship with the sociopath. To learn – to trust yourself.

What did you learn?

Words ©

4 thoughts on “Cunning and manipulative”

  1. Would like to know more about the lesson to trust yourself? In what area is being addressed? I was dating a sociopath and in fact I everything was a perfect illusion but would like to know more if its only trust yourself as a gut or in other aspect.

    1. Hi Nancy,

      I think sometimes in life we give up trusting in ourselves, instead, we allow someone else to make decisions for us. Or we ignore our own instincts, instead of listening to our inner voice. Or if we do raise concerns, we are easily swayed by someone who is not truthful. After an abusive relationship, we can struggle with our judgement. Also trusting ourselves.

    2. Whenever I went against my gut feelings, I was very very sorry. I feel as if we were born with a sixth sense. Instead of nurturing it, we get in the grind to survive or succeed. We indulge in bad eating and behavior, and get caught up in external forms of entertainment. Drinking and drugs also mess with our intuition, or cloud our judgement as how to handle a problem. If your gut tells you ‘danger’….keep a sober mind, leave, and don’t look back. Don’t hang around out of curiosity, either. Play with fire and get burned. Burns are extremely painful, especially knowing it could have been avoided. Always go with your gut no matter how hard it is. Trusting in yourself, and knowing you can get through anything if you focus on going with your intuition and instinct. It could save your life.

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