The most incredible trait of a sociopath, is their complete lack of conscience, lack of empathy, remorse, guilt or shame. Sociopaths are great at feigning ‘moral outrage’, or playing victim, giving a false persona that has the impression of being truly empathetic and caring character. This, like most things with the sociopath, is merely for show. The facade that you see on the outside, has little resemblance to the reality that is going on behind the screen, well hidden, and only known by the sociopath themselves. They are the chameleons of society.
Lack of empathy, guilt, remorse or shame is one of the hallmark traits of the sociopath. It means that they can do practically anything, and then act as if nothing as happened.
What are you making a fuss about?
Sociopaths have no fear. They do not care what others think of them (unless it involves being exposed, which would affect their ability to con further). A sociopath can do and say the MOST outrageous things, and then act like nothing ever happened. Just like everyone else in society, all sociopaths are different and they all do different things but examples would be:
- Compulsive pathological lying (outrageous ridiculous lies)
- Deception and manipulation (conning)
- Cheating and infidelity
- Taking the victim hostage, and having full ownership possession and control (without them realising this)
- Living like a parasite
- Faking ‘love’
- Theft (includes theft of anything, money, your life, your mind)
- Threats, ruining and smear campaigns
It never occurs to the sociopath that the person that they are deceiving or cheating, has their own rights, mind, and that everyone should have the ability to make decisions for themselves. To the sociopath, what they need and want is of paramount importance, and anyone else, is there for the taking.
The sociopath thinks only of himself, and if he seems to be ‘helpful’ this is usually because he has his own agenda to achieve. If he wants something, he will make sure that he obtains what he wants by using whatever means he needs to. A sociopath will go to extra ordinary lengths to manipulate and deceive. Giving a false impression of who they are to the victim, to obtain whatever they want.
If you had something that the sociopath wanted, he could just take it for himself. He wouldn’t think about how this would make you feel, or your loss. All he would be thinking of, is achieving his own needs.
For most people, when we do an act which hurts somebody else, we feel guilt, we have regret, remorse and shame. The sociopath does not experience these feelings. He will only experience regret, if his actions have affected his own life, and therefore damaged himself.
In this circumstance, the sociopath will apologise and say ‘sorry’ but he is not sorry for pain that he has caused you, and your life, he is simply sorry for his own loss of supply, and lost opportunities. Also, saying sorry can keep you silent, and make you question what you already know. However, most of the time, when confronting a sociopath about their behaviour, you will be faced with
- False accusations
- Changing the subject
This lack of conscience, is beneficial to the sociopath
Rather than thinking about the impact of his actions on others, as most people think, he thinks how his actions will get what he wants. He is always thinking of himself, and of what he wants to achieve. The other person, is merely an instrument to be used.
A sociopath, has learned from an early age to ‘mimic’ feelings that other people feel, so he will act guilty, or say the words that they are ‘ashamed’ but only if his actions have caused loss of supply for himself. He never experiences the conscience to think of how his actions have affected someone else, for he is only capable of thinking for himself, there are some sociopaths, the disempathetic type, that can have empathy for those in his close circle.
The lack of conscience, can then go one further, to continue with the abuse by gaslighting. When you make complaint about what has happened to you, it is then made out to be YOUR fault?
- If they cheated, well it was your fault for how you treated them
- If they stole they deny and tell you have lost the item, or misplaced it, you are so scatty!
- If they have ruined by manipulation and deception, well it was because of x y or z
To the sociopath, nothing is ever their fault. There is always a reason, and that reason is often YOU.
The sociopath will, if you still have a source of supply that they want or need, apologise, and promise not to do these actions again. But as soon as his feet are under the table again, and you TRUST, your trust is once again betrayed, and they will repeat the same pattern again.
If this seems crazy, this is because it is crazy! These actions can be hurtful, painful, and make you think that you are losing your mind. If you think that it could get better and hang on in false hope, that things will improve. Let me tell you, it won’t the same pattern would repeat itself over again.
The sociopath plays on YOUR conscience
The sociopath has an advantage, in that he is able to operate by playing on what he does not have, but what you have – ‘conscience’. He will play on your own conscience. His actions are therefore deflected back to you.
- Will remind you of your moral responsibility
- Repeat back to you your morals
- Will accuse you of what he is guilty of doing himself to distract you
- Talk at a million miles an hour, so that you do not have time to think
- Have a fake sense of morality, and what you should be doing
How and why the sociopath repeats the same pattern of behaviour
Because the sociopath does not have a conscience, he is unable to make long term plans, and thinks only of his own needs, and how he can obtain his source of supply, he will after a betrayal make apologies and promise that he will not do these actions again.
Within a short space of time, the same pattern of behaviour re-occurs.
The reason that the sociopath does this is because, when he makes new promises, he is (to his mind) starting again and putting on a fresh mask. However, because he is unable to learn from past mistakes, his brain works on default, so when faced with a new opportunity or temptation, he will will cease this opportunity and act on the temptation.
What has happened in the past is forgotten, and he will repeat the same pattern of behaviour. This is because:
- He does not learn from past mistakes
- He is unable to have empathy for anybody else
- He does not experience guilt, remorse or shame for past actions, and any displayed are fake
- He is selfish and thinks only of himself, and his own needs
- The past is quickly forgotten
The sociopath therefore will repeat the same patterns of behaviour. He is not dictated by others feelings, or others welfare. He is only dictated by his own needs and wants. At the time of making promises to you to change, he might genuinely mean it. Due to losing source of supply. He means it because he does not want to lose this source of supply.
However, the sociopath does not miss opportunities, and if temptation were to come his way again, he would likely repeat the same behaviour, the mask once again slips, and it is round ???? of the same behaviour that has happened in the past.
This is because the sociopath is reacting to what is happening right now. Providing supply for his own needs. No matter how he gets this supply, and no matter who he hurts in the process.
Because he doesn’t think of long term consequences for his actions, and has a lack of ability to plan ahead, he doesn’t think of the consequences of his actions, and not having a conscience, it is unlikely that this will ever change, and patterns of behaviour will be continually repeated, it is not a case of if it will happen, it is when it will happen. Leaving the victim living in a state of anxiety and on edge waiting for the next drama which will cause disruption. This is about the only thing that is guaranteed and reliable about the sociopath, that indeed there will be further disruption. Not if, but when.
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