The sociopath exploits his lack of emotions to control
When you first meet the sociopath, you are bowled over by his self confidence. This, mixed in with a stream of lies, can dazzle you into thinking that you have met somebody who is:
- Good guy/gal
The sociopath has absolutely no fear. The reason for this, is because they do not feel emotions the same way as other non socio’s do. Most people in life, are ruled by two primary emotions:
We are attracted to love, fear separates us. Love is freeing, fear is controlling, love is unconditional, fear is judgemental.
The sociopath is not ruled by either of these emotions and because he is not ruled by these emotions, he has the upper hand over the victim. The sociopath manages to control by manipulating others with these two emotions. It is quite a simple trick, when people try to work out what the sociopath is doing, they over complicate the analysis of the manipulation tools, and this can cause confusion.
Most people are ruled through love and fear, every day in their waking life. The sociopath, not feeling these emotions, is able to rule others simply by showering with fake ‘love’ and attention, or installing ‘fear’ and control. It is often said that the sociopath can have a Jekyll and Hyde personality.
In it’s simplest form, what the sociopath is doing is switching, from controlling through love and fear.
You might argue, and say that there are lots of other emotions, that people feel. There are, but each of these emotions are ruled by the primary emotion of love and fear.
Because the sociopath is not ruled by emotions, because he has a lack of remorse, guilt or shame, he can powerfully control a person, simply by providing ‘love’ or installing ‘fear’. By wielding these emotions over the victim – the sociopath gains control. Which is the most important thing to the sociopath (to have control over the victim).
Preying on these emotions at each stage of the relationship game
A good example of this, is to look at the structure that the sociopath follows in a relationship, and what primary emotions are being used at each point:
- Assessment (neutral whilst assessing)
- Seducing (love)
- Gaming (alternating between love and fear)
- Ruining (fear)
Why you are left feeling confused
Whilst the sociopath is in gaming mode, the victim is left confused. As the emotions that are ruled, alternate between love and fear, the victim is left confused. Does the sociopath love me, or hate me? When you decide that the sociopath doesn’t love you can make attempts to leave the relationship, and the sociopath will often immediately switch – to love again (the Jekyll and Hyde personality), alternatively, if you are determined to leave, the sociopath will move to final stage (ruining) – which is based on fear.
By manipulating the two primary emotions of the victim, the victim is left stunned and confused. Whilst one of the emotions (love) feels positive, the victim is drawn to this (we are all drawn to positivity it makes us feel good). The other emotion (fear) the victim is repelled from. This is why the sociopath will switch from controlling through love and then fear.
What separates sociopaths from the rest of society, is their inability to feel these primary emotions of ‘love’ and ‘fear’, and their lack of ability to experience these emotions. When you realise that the sociopath has faked these primary emotions, can feel quite alarming to the victim. If a human being does not feel these two emotions, how can they even be ‘human’ you question?
What the victim is left with, is a sense of confusion. your primary emotions have been played with. Where you have experienced when in gaming mode, is an alternate state of emotions of being controlled with ‘love and fear’ and therefore the Jekyll and Hyde personality is shown. This causes confusion.
If you have came out of the relationship with the sociopath, and are feeling confused. Go back through what has happened to you, and understand what has happened. It might feel sinister. As it is out of the norm for what you understand is right, appropriate and normal for a human being to be.
Our ability to experience Love and Fear, is what rules us. It is what teaches us the difference between ‘right and wrong’. Because the sociopath is able to fake these emotions, we are lured into a false sense of security, that the sociopath is actually feeling these emotions. We are being shown a mask, but without actual genuine feelings there is no depth of emotions it is simply an act used for manipulation and control.