A warning to all show off’s!
Be wary of bragging, you might attract a sociopath!
You might think that sociopaths only target people that are vulnerable. People who are weak or people who are down on their luck and needy themselves.
A sociopath can target these people, as this is an easy target. If your last relationship was abusive, or ended due to deception or betrayal, it is likely that damage was already done. If you are weak and looking to fill a void, this is easy prey for the sociopath.
The other group of people that are attractive to sociopaths, are those who are successful in life. Nothing can lure in a sociopath more than someone who is bragging about what they have. By bragging to the world how successful you are, you are merely advertising to the sociopath what you have to offer and give away.
We all do it, you meet someone and you think that this person is your ideal. You want them to know what a good catch you are. So, you talk about how great your job is. Because you are seeking similar things in a man, you tell him, you have a good job, your own home, no debts, in fact you are pretty financially secure.
At the extreme end of the spectrum, perhaps you have spare cash, money in the bank, you have a lot to offer someone and you (being keen to show that you are not like the man you are NOT looking for) sell yourself.
DON’T DO THIS!
Advertising yourself in this way, with someone you do not know, and have not verified who they are, is like putting a billboard advertising sign up. Like putting on a shop window telling the sociopath all there is to take from you (and he will).
You tell him all the things that you value, all the things that you want. How awful your last ex was, and bingo, he has the perfect way to lure you in.
He will mirror you, and fake what you want to hear.
Try not to say TOO MUCH about yourself, and your life, in fact, instead put yourself down. Make yourself a less attractive OPTION.
Because this is what you are to a sociopath. For him, it is like looking in a shop window, and the more that you sell yourself, he does actually think that you are selling whatever YOU own to him. Well not selling, he see’s it as his divine right to take it.
And as far as the sociopath is concerned, it is your own stupid fault for bragging in the first place.
You wouldn’t go to a festival, take all your expensive items, leave it inside the tent on show, with the tent door open, in vain hope that the right man (or woman) will be sat outside your tent waiting for his perfect woman when you got back? Of course you wouldn’t that would be stupid.
So don’t sell your wares to someone you have just met. Remember, a sociopath looks normal, dresses normal, and will mirror you and be everything that you want him to be. Say little, and let him sell himself to you and if he is selling YOU back, RUN!!
Copyright datingasociopath.com 2013
7 thoughts on “Showing off can make you a target!”
actually I don’t entirely agree here. I agree that a sociopath is attracted to successful people. I also believe that a sociopath is drawn to the most empathic people. Successful people can be attractive due to what they have to offer, but it goes deeper. They are competitive and if someone looks more successful to them, they then have an urge to tear the successful person down until the soc believes he is superior again. To a soc, there’s a constant game of one-upmanship with everyone he encounters.
The other draw – the empath – is more about what the soc is missing in his life. again this relates to one-upmanship, but in a different way. Soc’s know that they are different from most people and they see how close valued relationships enrich peoples lives… and that’s the one thing they cant seem to master. they have no clue how to even start, and since they don’t feel love like the rest of us do, they cant understand how this enrichment other people have is so valuable. so they try to have relationships like that to see what all the fuss is about, but they can only go through the motions. The experience winds up being flat and boring to them since they cant access the emotional center that makes interpersonal connections valuable to others.
empaths can be drawn to sociopaths too. for two main reasons: 1. a highly empathic person may be the only one who can see the deeper emotional struggle a soc might be going through, and empaths by nature want to help and nurture those who are in emotional need. 2. empaths are probably the most honest and genuine people, and they cant conceive of anyone lying for the reasons sociopaths lie. So they are easily fooled by the sociopaths grandiose display, thinking the soc is just as genuine as they themselves are.
This is so very accurate. My spath stated that the single reason he felt motivated to approach me and introduce himself was this…after 30 minutes of observing me in the coffee shop where we first met, he witnessed me gently warning an elderly stranger to be careful not to trip on a computer cord that was near his feet. He stated to me that he knew then that I was a kind-hearted person who selflessly helped vulnerable people and did so without looking for anything in return. Yes, without a word spoken between us, he sized me up that quickly.
I completely agree. But we shouldn’t try to stifle our empathy — just be very aware, right?
I agree Julie. If you lose that they really have won.
Who says that these types don’t feel. Remember you sensing are biochemistry. It’s not an emotion. There is no emotion that shoots out of any part of your body. You feel, sense your heart racing, body temp and the like. Generally speaking most people cycle through relationships and can’t keep a marriage. These types do have relationships too and like rest, they cycle through them as well. Empathy is a theory. No empathy is secreted or originated in the human anatomy. Please don’t smear me. Just cause you and I were laid off, for example, don’t mean we are experiencing it the same way.
They really can’t feel anything but rage. I have met a sociopathic cult leader and had the “pleasure” of being indoctrinated by him. I noticed that all his energy came from his head, whereas is torso was like an empty clay vessel. They suck on empaths’ emotions, because they themselves can’t feel. It is correct that their ultimate goal is to destroy empathy and love. They do this in order to remain in control. That’s why it is called brainwashing and not heartwashing. Once all empathy or heart is gone, cult members can be deemed fully indoctrinated.
My spath targeted me because I was a total empath, but also because i was well liked and confident. We worked together in a technical field. I am very competent at my job because i have been doing it for many years. I was never arrogant. But just extremely competent and depended on by everyone in the department.
At the same time, we had a lot of college interns cycling through from out of state. They flocked to me because I took care of them. I never could have children of my own and loved helping and mentoring young people.
He was not as confident in his abilities at work. He came out of nowhere. But now looking back, I realize, he had spent a long time assessing me.
1. I was an empath. An extreme empath. He knew how to get under my skin and felt I was an easy target.
2. He wanted to tear me down because i had the confidence and ability he did not.
He admitted these things, when things went South and we were fighting non stop.
That’s the weird thing though, and its hard for me to even understand. I would have done anything for him. You have a hole that needs filling? I would have done anything to fill it. I championed him at work. I put him ahead of me and tried to get his career going before mine.
I get that his mind doesn’t work like mine. But he could have gotten everything he wanted from me.
I think ultimately, he wanted to destroy me. He wanted to see me fall apart. And I didn’t. He hated me for that.