Is anybody watching YOU on Netflix? Story of a Psychopath who targets a female. I have been watching this series, struck, how once this was my life too. The series has a running thought dialogue of the psychopath. He meets her in a book shop. He looks like a regular guy, a humble, unassuming guy.
He becomes transfixed with her, and her life. Stalking her social media accounts to find information about her. Eavesdropping into her real life, and associations with friends, to find her weaknesses.
He comes across, as such a sweet normal guy. Kind and caring to the neglected child who lives right across the hall. An intelligent man who works in a book store. Comes across, as kind, caring, perfect.
If you are confused about what the difference is between a Narcissist, and a psycho…. watch this. Apart from the odd blip, where the mask slips, you won’t see displayed ego. They come across as humble, kind, thoughtful, caring. The manipulation, deceit, control, is mostly all done behind the scenes.
The victim has absolutely no idea who this person really is. For his real, true self is hidden behind the mask. She is completely unaware of how much information he already knows about her. Of how much he learns about her friends.
I am only a few episodes in. Have you watched this series? What were your thoughts? His internal dialogue is fascinating. But also gives me assurance that the words written, in terms of description on this site, are indeed accurate. Words, of a life, that I was once living, every single day. For many of those days, for many years, I would write my experiences on this website (2013-15/16).
The one that I was with, wasn’t a killer. But he would kill every single thing in my life. Until I was left as dead inside, as he was. Until there really was nothing left to take. It was all gone. Most of them aren’t killers. They simply destroy and take every single part of your life, until every part of you is gone, and you are left an empty shell of the person you once were. As empty inside, as they are. Once they can no longer feed off you, when there is nothing left to take, they move on. Onto their next victim……
Dating a Sociopath 
Oh gosh, I wish I had Netflix. This sounds absolutely my cup of tea. I was married to one of those … they destroy you. They leave total devastation and care nothing, absolutely nothing for what they do. I am now free. I will see if I can get access to Netflix to watch this. I hope you’re ok now too. Katie
I am ok thanks Katie. It is recommended viewing. It is very strange as it is he speaks internal dialogue throughout. Which is obviously in real life the part we don’t see. I think you can get netflix free for a month then cancel before the month is out (Or you can in the UK). You only pay month by month and can cancel anytime. Absolutely, destruction, for sure.
I’m glad you’re ok and I’ll look into Netflix for sure. And indeed, when we move in the summer to the states I think we’ll be looking at getting some sort of package out there so that we don’t miss out on some of our uk stuff that we love. X
You are moving from the UK to US? How exciting. Where are you going?
We’re off to New York! Arghhhh!
(Ps I think I’m a bit scared! I’m hoping that moving house again isn’t going to be too traumatic … 😬)
Absolutely the truth!!! You & i are in the same boat ..NO one understands !!! No One ,except us [ the exploited ones, who have lived it ] you must live it or it will resignate .. I was once very successful now seen as a failure by my siblings , who are narcissistic & histrionic as well…i was married to a sociopath who did nothing but as you have decribed it !! I want to have EMDR therapy due to the strong trauma bond that refuses to heal.. I can not heal & i am at my wits end …i have no contact in place ..i cut off all forms ..the bastard will even show up at my door w/ his stupid letters & his presence as i am walking in the door…i told him there is us mail , if he needs to communicate…(of course that does not mean i will open) i just wanted to make it clear to him ..believe me they do not care . they already have a couple more affairs in progress or grooming someone ‘in the wings ‘…….not necessarily waiting but in pursuit..
I am going to get Netflix now, I have had it a few times now, when something good is on… Yes my ex is a Sociopath and my mother is a Convert Narcissistic person, Just hate them, I was always walking on egg shells….. I have no contact with them now, love my freedom….Will be watching YOU tonight…. Thanks Ladies…😃.
Enjoy karen
Oooh sounds like you must have had a rough time of it. I’m so glad that you’re free of them now. God bless! Katie x
I’m currently in this situation. I advise anyone to watch YOU. It’s very well done
I just wanted to tell you again how much you have helped me. Reading your responses and posts has made a huge impact on my life. I am actually happy again. I’m able to help other victims. I always send them your link. You are an amazing person.
Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot 🙂
You are so amazing & giving of your generous spirit ..thank you .. I must get plugved back in to Netflix …i am wondering do u offer EMDR therapy ? Thank you again for your amazing enlightment & guidance!
It has been so long since I have been out of the workplace, that I don’t think I would have the confidence anymore I could listen. Offer feedback. Perhaps give a different viewpoint, and help with goal setting. Help to motivate, and support you to move your life forward.
I don’t do EMDR, you would need a professional for that. I have done EMDR, for the events from when my daughter died. It is used to treat PTSD. If you have PTSD from long term abuse, it can be more difficult for EMDR to be affective. Simply because, longer term abuse would likely result in complex PTSD. When I did EMDR, each week (I did it over three courses of sessions over 18 months) I focused only on the week of events when my daughter died (which ironically is right now from 16th- 19th. That is all we worked on. What I did find useful for the abuse, was simply being able to talk, through therapy. My brain was so gaslighted, I was still seeing life through his eyes. I found being in a safe space, speaking to a professional, I started to think for myself. I worked hard in between sessions. Challenging myself, going back through old diaries, logs, etc so that I saw the truth, rather than the lie that I was still telling myself. I can attest that normal counselling can help. I am unsure how useful EMDR would be for long term abuse, simply because it would be difficult to target and focus.
I will definitely watch it. It was about time someone took this subject and portray it as it is. So common and yet so overlooked.
This was recommended to me and I ended up binge watching it! The internal dialogue is so accurate. The manipulation is unbelievable but having survived these creatures I confirm it is spot on. Crazy but true. If you can’t get Netflix go read the book. Same title.
It really brings home, how dangerous the situation that we were in. I thought the internal dialogue was so interesting. The constant stalking of every single aspect of her life. From social media, to friendship interactions. This must be what psychos who have commented on the ‘I love you’ post meant, when they argued that they did ‘love’. What I thought was off though was how she didn’t seem sucked in, and continued with her own life. Even dating someone else. I can’t see that happening, or at least one I was with, he didn’t let me off his radar. It was quite spooky sometimes. I couldn’t breath, he knew my every single movement. Every single one. And manipulated me, and everyone around me. I also didn’t see him doing ruining campaigns on her – which is something that they do. Speaking to others in ‘concern’ about you, especially after they have engineered you to fall out with someone close to you.
I started watching this while on Maternity leave back in October … WOW … I was instantly hooked on this show. He is an absolute lunatic! He describes everything he’s doing and his justifications for why he does it, even blaming her, the women he loves, as reasons WHY he’s done this awful things. I couldn’t stop watching. It’s a very addicting show. You notice how he immediately pegs her. In the show you get insight to her insecurities. She’s easily targetable because of those insecurities and inability to really stand up for herself. Even against her best friend, who also uses her. The ending is INCREDIBLE! It will drop a bombshell .. and with that, I’m itching for season two!
Yes exactly. Assessment, seduction, gaming, ruining. I agree the dialogue is interesting.
The main character in You is NOT a psychopath. He is too unstable and empathetic. He is a sociopath.
There is a lot in there, that isn’t accurate. As I watched the series. I watched to the end. There is a type ‘disempathetic’ who can have empathy for a very small amount of people in their inner world. (For their own benefit).
You are a psychopath, good at reading people. Meghan Markle? What are your thoughts?
I saw your comment about this show and I watched the whole season in 4 days, and imho I don’t think he’s a narcissist nor a sociopath or a psychopath… More like a male version of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, aka BPD… Extreme BPD with sociopath traits, but still… he really loved, he really cared, he really wanted her to be happy, he wasn’t cheating, lying (not that much), he wasn’t trying to make her feel bad, he even stopped to spy on her at one point. Every thought, every action was drived by the love he felt and because he worried she could leave him. He didn’t do this “just because he can”, or because he was bored and wanted some drama or because he wanted something from her. He did everything because he loved her, in his sick way.
I binged watched the whole thing and I am left so curious about what happened with the first girl he was with. His behavior was jaw dropping but I was rooting for Beck in the end. Him rationalizing his controlling behavior had to be the most shocking to me. That his mind worked in that way.
Yes that was odd wasn’t it? About the first girl. Am wondering if they will be making a second series? I felt he didn’t do enough in terms of being manipulative, deceptive and ruining her and her reputation. But the duality of nature was certainly there..
I have Netflix and saw the posting of the show. But I don’t want to open those wounds that are healing….
Fucking bastard ruined my life with my family, ruined my credit, ruined me…in only 2 1/2 months. I am lucky that I did not lose my job. I still lost my youngest daughter to her dad but I have figured out how to pay off the $80,000 debt and have a wonderful man that only asks for my love, no requests for money.
I am pleased to hear that you have met someone nice Laura. I know it really sucks how they get away with it too.
Just finished “YOU” on Netflix…. I Loved It!!! Cant wait for season 2 to come out!!!!
I did wonder though, what would season 2 be about? I guess that girl popped up again at the end….
I thought she was dead… I thought maybe he was dreaming… I wish I knew when this year season 2 was coming out