Sociopath lack of conscience, lack of remorse, guilt or shame

The most incredible trait of a sociopath, is their complete lack of conscience, lack of empathy, remorse, guilt or shame.

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This is one of the hallmark traits of the sociopath. It means that they can do practically anything, and then act as if nothing as happened. What are you making a fuss about?

Sociopaths have no fear. They do not care what others think of them (unless it involves being exposed, which would affect their ability to con further). A sociopath can do and say the MOST outrageous things, and then act like nothing ever happened when it is convenient for them. They are all different and they all do different things but examples would be:

  • Compulsive pathological lying (outrageous ridiculous lies)
  • Deception and manipulation (conning)
  • Cheating and infidelity
  • Living like a parasite
  • Faking ‘love’
  • Theft

It never occurs to the sociopath that the person that they are deceiving or cheating, has their own rights, and their own mind, and their own ability to make decisions for themselves. To the sociopath, what they need and want is most important of all.

The sociopath thinks only of himself, and if he seems to be ‘helpful’ this is usually because he has his own agenda to achieve. If he wants something, he will make sure that he obtains what he wants by using whatever means he needs to.

If you had something that the sociopath wanted, he could just take it for himself. He wouldn’t think about how this would make you feel, or your loss. All he would be thinking of, is achieving his own needs.

For most people, when we do an act which hurts somebody else, we feel guilt, we have regret, remorse and shame. The sociopath does not experience these feelings. He will only experience regret, if his actions have affected his own life, and therefore damaged his life.

In this circumstance, the sociopath will apologise and say ‘sorry’ but he is not sorry for pain that he has caused you, and your life, it is simply sorry for his own loss of supply.

This lack of conscience, is beneficial to the sociopath

Rather than thinking about the impact of his actions on others, as most people think, he thinks how his actions will get what he wants. He is always thinking of himself, and of what he wants to achieve. The other person, is merely an instrument to be used.

A sociopath, has learned from an early age to ‘mimic’ feelings that other people feel, so he will act guilty, or say the words that they are ‘ashamed’ but only if his actions have caused loss of supply for himself. He never experiences the conscience to think of how his actions have affected someone else. Or how his actions has made somebody else feel, because he is unable to empathise with anybody else’s feelings, he simply does not understand this.

The lack of conscience, can then go one further, to continue with the abuse by gaslighting. When you make complaint about what has happened to you, it is then made out to be YOUR fault?

  • If they cheated, well it was your fault for how you treated them
  • If they stole they deny and tell you have lost the item, or misplaced it, you are so scatty!
  • If they have ruined by manipulation and deception, well it was because of x y or z

To the sociopath, nothing is ever their fault. There is always a reason, and that reason is often YOU.

The sociopath will, if you still have a source of supply that they want or need, apologise, and promise not to do these actions again. But as soon as his feet are under the table again, and you TRUST, your trust is once again betrayed, and they will repeat the same pattern again.

If it seems crazy, this is because it is. And these actions can be hurtful, painful, and make you think that you are losing your mind. If you think that it could get better, it won’t the same pattern would repeat itself over again.

The sociopath plays on YOUR conscience

The sociopath has an advantage, in that he is able to operate by playing on what he does not have, but what you have – ‘conscience’. He will play on your own conscience. His actions are therefore deflected back to you.

  • Will remind you of your moral responsibility
  • Repeat back to you your morals
  • Will accuse you of what he is guilty of doing himself to distract you
  • Talk at a million miles an hour, so that you do not have time to think
  • Have a fake sense of morality, and what you should be doing

How and why the sociopath repeats the same pattern of behaviour

Because the sociopath does not have a conscience,  he is unable to make long term plans, and thinks only of his own needs, and how he can obtain his source of supply, he will after a betrayal make apologies and promise that he will not do these actions again.

Within a short space of time, the same pattern of behaviour re-occurs.

The reason that the sociopath does this is because, when he makes new promises, he is (to his mind) starting again and putting on a fresh mask. However, because he is unable to learn from past mistakes, his brain works on default, so when faced with a new opportunity or temptation, he will will cease this opportunity and act on the temptation.

What has happened in the past is forgotten, and he will repeat the same pattern of behaviour. This is because:

  • He does not learn from past mistakes
  • He is unable to have empathy for anybody else
  • He does not experience guilt, remorse or shame for past actions, and any displayed are fake
  • He is selfish and thinks only of himself, and his own needs
  • The past is quickly forgotten

The sociopath therefore will repeat the same patterns of behaviour. He is not dictated by others feelings, or others welfare. He is only dictated by his own needs and wants. At the time of making promises to you to change, he might genuinely mean it. Due to losing source of supply. He means it because he does not want to lose this source of supply.

However, the sociopath does not miss opportunities, and if temptation were to come his way again, he would likely repeat the same behaviour, the mask once again slips, and it is round ???? of the same behaviour that has happened in the past.

This is because the sociopath is reacting to what is happening right now. Providing supply for his own needs. No matter how he gets this supply, and no matter who he hurts in the process.

Because he doesn’t think of long term consequences for his actions, and has a lack of ability to plan ahead, he doesn’t think of the consequences of his actions, and not having a conscience, it is unlikely that this will ever change, and patterns of behaviour will be continually repeated, it is not a case of if it will happen, it is when it will happen. Leaving the victim living in a state of anxiety and on edge waiting for the next drama which will cause disruption. This is about the only thing that is guaranteed and reliable about the sociopath, that indeed there will be further disruption. Not if, but when.

Words © datingasociopath.com

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190 thoughts on “Sociopath lack of conscience, lack of remorse, guilt or shame”

  1. My husband is a diagnosed sociopath. This article is not about sociopath. It’s a narsist. Wich is me, this whole article pin point my ways, not his. Please learn the proper definitions for these disorders. Cause doctors, judges or anyone in power tend to be sociopaths. Have to be. Make hard desicions without emotional drawbacks. Not all sociopaths are bad. I’m lucky to have him. He is able to understand and compartmentalize like no one I seen. He loves , he is honest to a fault. Even if it hurts. But he understands more then most. Not all are bad. I find I have way worse as I am selfish and will manipulate like most narsist. I’m trying to change but. Time. Please know someone like this before you write articles like this!!!

    1. Sick M.f. really?
      I know like most people,the difference between right and wrong and good and bad.
      It’s a shame that there are people like this walking around looking for there next victom.
      It seems Thay never been held accountable for there actions.

      1. Lots of reasons. Often because they have been in trouble with the law. Other times, for manipulative reasons. Although that wouldn’t be common. The one that I was with, he would fake to go to counsellors, etc to get help. But this was only for manipulative reasons. NOW if he was in jail or in trouble, and he thought that diagnosis would help, am sure would have gone along that route. They only do what is beneficial to them – unless forced.

      1. If her husband is ‘honest to a fault’ then she is NOT with a sociopath 🙂

        Being dishonest, manipulative, deceptive, mirroring you – is a huge part of their personality. If Narsist is with someone who is honest – defo not a socio/psychopath.

  2. If you replace “he” with “she”, it’s also true. When is it okay to say he when all is negative? Aren’t we striking all words of “he” from all history? “All men”. Why is it “she” only for pretty things, “she is my boat”? Why don’t we bring back original dialect and use “thee” or “thou”, it refers to any sex. It’s better than to say, “he or she”, or “he/she”. I don’t like the context of this post, it makes it seem like men are prone to or usually the suspect of being a sociopath. I literally and honestly have never met a male sociopath, could be that I don’t date men; as I am a man. But I was raised by a single sociopath, a woman with serious issues with men and other people in general. I have dated sociopath women when I was younger and didn’t know the signs of sociopath behavior. How some people can look you in the eye and lie so convincingly and cheat and have no remorse. It’s truly ugly. Other than the use of “he” referring to this post I totally find it very interesting and clarifying.

    1. This is because you are replying to a post that was written when the blog first started 3 years ago. All posts in the last few years have been written gender neutral, although I wish I could go back to ‘he’ as it reads better, hopefully you can understand the message and convert to he.

    1. @lev4yeshua, you have said everything all – “Delete them from your life as soon as possible” irrespective of your affinity (mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, nephew, niece etc., etc.,) with these evils.

  3. I wish I could get to the point where I can say NO for sure if he reappears in the future. right now he is searching for his next victim. It has been two and a half months. How long will it take me to say NO – instead of sure, hurt me again.

    1. This is really up to you. TO escape you need three things I believe. 1. Hope (of a better life) 2. Opportunity (to build a better life) 3. Belief (in yourself and that opportunities will arise – this relates back to hope).

      I really would recommend, if you could afford it Mary to get professional help with a therapist. You have already been through a lot. It will be difficult to make accurate decisions that are right for you, without it. You know in your heart that this man is not right for you. I hear you, that you need help. You need access to it.

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