Thank you, for thanking me!!
Thank you for the truth!
I got sucked into your blog. I have read more than a few entries and thought “oh my God, this explains why he did x, y, and z”. Thank you
I started reading your blog 2-3 weeks ago and I am HOOKED… It’s such a relief having this site to go to. On March 23rd, it will be a MONTH from when I left the miserable, mean, pathetic, lying, hostile man. I was with him a year. I have established NO CONTACT and besides a couple of horrible texts that came through two weeks ago (before I blocked them), he has been quiet. He is on to his next great love affair (poor lady) so I don’t expect to hear much…
I think a “tell us your story” area would be therapeutic so we can all tell our stories and read others’. Just an idea
Thank you for the wonderful site!
You’ve become quite a prolific blogger in such a short period of time! I’m enjoying everything you have to about all things sociopath Thanks for sharing your experiences. As a fellow blogger trying to educate the masses about PDs, I think you’re doing a fantastic job
I am so grateful I found your blog. I’ve just gotten out of a relationship with a sociopath and it was hell…
I am currently writing a huge blog about my ex sociopath and the things I learned about myself while dealing with that hell. It was crazy and he definitely falls under the criteria you listed above
The way you described it is spot on.. now it just makes it that much harder to open up – let alone trust – anyone that tries to come into my life… Any thoughts on how to overcome that?
I really liked all of the points that were made here. I’m on vacation and tomorrow I’m going to start on the lists of “Why I’m Better Off Without Him” and “Everything That In My Life That I Am Grateful For” Thanks for the tips!
Nearly two days after leaving him and I am, suprisingly, coping well with the no contact rule. I struggle a little as we shared a mutual friend but I trust this friend not to update my ex on my well being. It can still be awkward knowing they must talk to each other.
My food, sleep routine and general self-care is a total disaster so thanks for reminding me of the basic things to focus on. I will start a notebook soon and do some of those exercises you suggested but, right now, if I have to do anything that involves thinking of him or our relationship I might just crack up.
This is a good blog! Thank you for sharing it with me! That said, while I’m reading through some of this, I’m definitely aware that yes, I have had relationships with sociopaths. But here’s what’s scaring me. What if I’m a sociopath? I mean I’ve done the threatening thing with the guy I had an affair with because I was sick of him lying to his partner and family. I was just bluffing but still…it scares me to think I could be that crazy.
My problem when it comes to diagnosing things…is that I often can identify with certain things they do or did, or I can relate in some way then I automatically think I’m “THAT”…whatever diagnosis “THAT” is.
Oye…my “self” is really busted up.
I can not express enough how much I can relate to your posts. You said, “The reason why they cannot change, is because they lack conscience. Which means that they feel no guilt, no remorse or shame for their actions. Not only this, but because of this, they are unable to learn from past experiences”. This is so very true. I have heard the apologies, seen the tears, heard the promises to change. All to have it happen over and over again. They feign understanding, but they do not understand. He even said (several times)…”I didn’t realize it at the time to be wrong, but now that I look back on it, I see how hurtful it was”. I call BS. He knew full well it was wrong to lie and betray or else he wouldn’t have hidden it from me. The fact is that he just didn’t care. He just wanted to do what he wanted to do and to hell with anyone else.
Excellent post, positivagirl. I had the most difficult time moving on from the relationship due to the lack of closure. I kept on asking him questions, trying to understand why and how things had disintegrated. I had to move on and accept the fact that I wasn’t going to get closure from such an unstable and emotionally convoluted man. Thanks for sharing your personal thoughts – always helpful to relate to someone who’s been through it as well.
Your blog makes it easier to accept that I’m not crazy
This has been my life for the past two years…exactly. From the bombardment of love and affection from the beginning to the mean, hateful bombardment at the end it…it was my life. The isolation from family and friends was right there in the middle. I gave it all up for him, my house, my town, everything. For what? Unspeakable cruelty. Thank you for posting this so that those of us out there know we are all alone.
That’s so my ex boyfriend!
Oh, my! Everyday I realise that I should have known better. We are so many… so many in this kind of relationships… How did I miss it? and for 17 long years!!!!
Thank you for this! It’s a very good source to read!
Reading your blog helps keep me centered. You do not know how much it has confirmed what I already know. It has helped a lot. Thanks!
Thanks for your blog! You and Sophia have helped me see that I’m not crazy like he’s tried to make me feel all these years. I now know to listen to that little voice inside, she knows what’s going on and I have to trust myself to know what’s best for me. It feels great to finally be free from his spell and start living my own life for me!
I have gained a lot of strength from reading your blog. A lot of things that never made sense to me now make sense and I can see it for what it was instead of what I wanted it to be. Very empowering! Thank you
I just want to thank you for this valuable blog. I was married to a sociopath for 13 years and am a case study with respect to the carnage they leave in their wake. The information you share truly helps to ease the burden of responsibility, shame and failure that I carry. I now know that one day, I will be able to release it. Thank you!
This is a great article and I really hope more people read this because sociopaths are the biggest SHITS we’ll ever meet in mortal form and completely behind help. They destroy lives, in fact they destroy anything and everything that doesn’t fit into their fuzzy and self obsessed agenda.
Whats more and unless you know what you’re dealing with a sociopath will do his/her level best to send you around the bend especially if there’s a quick opportunity presenting for them somewhere else.
I learned the hard way just what sociopaths are and I’d never let another one into my life again……how you may ask? By accepting just who and what they are and spotting them now from a hundred yards aka your brilliant post and all their repetitive traits.
Very big thank you for sharing this wisdom, sincere regards, Barry
I have just come across a blog which is truly inspiring and touches me in a very personal way.
So, for the first time ever in the history of Of Fries And Men, the Queen’s Favorite Blog Award goes to…
Congratulations and thank you for creating such an amazing blog!! I may have learned it the hard way but I truly hope this blog serves as a warning to all the women out there. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to alwaystrust your instincts!!
And to all the fries-and-men-lovers out there, please do show Positivagirl some love and check out her blog
Great article!! You were right on spot about these social terrorist!
I have just nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Based on this article alone, I wish I could give you more.
I am so glad I found you! Everything is starting to make sense, and becoming a relief. I can’t thank you enough!
What a great blog! I really needed to read all of this. I dated a sociopath for a few years on/off, in between his phases of dating other women, etc. When we broke up, I was a wreck. I realized I had nothing of my own in my life and didn’t know how to make any decisions for myself and I just didn’t want to live anymore. That didn’t work out (THANK GOD) and I’m still here. This was about 3 years ago and I can tell you it is SO hard to get past one of these relationships. He was in prison for 2 years and I spent a good chunk of that time believing we still had “something” even though he was doing the same thing with me and others while he was in there. Last April, I blocked him completely, but when he got released he started contacting me again. In January, I ran into him drunk at a bar and it ruined all my hard work. I should add I got into another relationship in March of 2012, 2 years after “ending” things. It’s been such an ongoing thing, but my biggest advice to you all is this-even though you think it’s been so long you’re over him and think it’s okay to talk to him as a friend because of course, you care about the guy. DON’T DO IT. Gateway back to the old ways. I’m dealing with it again now after realizing that even though I’m in a great healthy relationship, I still crave his attention. I’m starting this process over again as of right now. And since I’ve dealt with the worst of it before, I think I can handle it this time. I don’t want to go my whole life talking to him and sabotaging relationships for him.
Wow! This is exactly what I started realizing. After three whole years in this relationship, I have absolutely NOTHING more than I had when it began. Nothing! Not even more clothes or things, just nothing haha! He did work the entire time, but so did I. AND I’ve always made more money than him! Everything that was gained during the relationship belonged to him and I had no way to recover “my share” of any of it.
It’s so awesome reading other people putting my thoughts into words and expanding on those thoughts to help me make some kind of sense of it all. Not that any of it makes sense, but at least I know now that I must be done with this relationship forever and stop hoping for something that never existed.
THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER AWARD!!!!!