Exploiting your weaknesses, will make you weak, and easier to control!When you meet the sociopath, you might have already experienced events which have made you weak, or alternatively you might be strong with a lot to offer (and a lot to take) . Whichever situation you were in, you would have noticed that within a very short time of being with a sociopath, that he did all that he could to either keep you weak, or to disarm you, and weaken you.
You might start out in the beginning, either hoping to rebuild yourself, and your life, or want someone to share the joy of your life. However, the hopes and aspirations that you have, will never come true.
What you find when you are dating a sociopath, is that they will do all that they can to keep you under their control. To do this they need to do the following:
- Keep you isolated from others
- Feed you false information about himself, his life, and his intentions
- Manipulate and deceive you
- Keep you away from places where you might be in contact with others
- Control your ability to work
- Control interactions with others
- Keep tabs on your whereabouts
- Violate your privacy
- False accusations
- If you are sick, he will under the guise of helping to get you well, actually deliberately keep you sick.
- Will tell you false information about yourself, and how others view you
The sociopath is very charismatic, and will appear (on the surface) to be charming, helpful and nice. In fact, often the sociopath couldn’t be more helpful.
This is what causes the fog of confusion. You wonder if it is all in your mind? You look back to who you once were, and wonder where the person you used to be, has gone?
You are still there!! Underneath the cloud of confusion, the sense of mistrust, the pain of betrayal, there is still you.
The sociopath will weaken you, to build dependency on him. By being so very useful and helpful, he becomes someone that you feel you now need.
Because the sociopath discovers your weaknesses, and exploits them for his own advantage, he is preying on your weaknesses. This, when controlling you and not allowing you to grow and by focusing on your weaknesses, he keeps you weak. It stops you from growing, it keeps you where the sociopath wants you, controlled.
You might look back, and think how did this happen? Constantly searching back for the honeymoon period, you stay with it far longer than you otherwise should. You feel that you need this person. You feel like he is the missing part of you.
It isn’t that he is the missing part of you, it is because he preyed on your weaknesses, and full focus and spotlight was on those weaknesses, whilst your strengths, were minimised. Without your wide circle of friends, to remind you of who you are (if you were isolated), you are left, with only the sociopath. Who will do everything to keep you weak. Keeping you weak achieves one thing –
When you have left the relationship. You can start to rebuild yourself. By now you would have been made fully aware of your weaknesses, as the sociopath used those weaknesses to control you.
There is a lesson in this. A lesson to see your own strengths and weaknesses. It is in effect a blessing, although it might not feel like it when you have just came out of the relationship. Remember, as the sociopath minimised your strengths, and played on your weaknesses, to control you, when you come out of the relationship, you start to regain strength immediately. Why? You start to regain strength, because you are not using all of your strength combating the sociopath, you are not striving for control over your own life. You finally have strength for you!
This, is a blessing. It is also a time for reflection – what have you learned? What did the sociopath teach you? What are your weaknesses? In some circumstances, (ill health for example) there is little that you can do. But other weaknesses that are preyed upon, you can work on.
Examples are things like
- Expecting someone else to offer you a wonderful life
- Expecting someone else to solve your problems for you (be they financial, social, work or whatever)
- Expecting someone else to love you, before you truly love yourself
- Need for attention, lack of confidence, low self esteem
- Single parent, looking for a father figure
- Needing a home
- Needing stability
These are just examples, there are lots lots more. You will know yourself, what your weaknesses were, and how you were exploited by the sociopath. Take some time out, to look at yourself. If it was just that you wanted to be loved, work on you, working on loving you. If you thought you met a great businessman, who would offer you financial security, work on creating financial security for yourself.
Remember that we ALL have weaknesses. All of us. In a healthy relationship, the partner gives help and support, doesn’t exploit those weaknesses to keep you weak, and keep control over you.
Dating a sociopath, once the aftermath is over, can be a blessing in disguise. It can help you to work on the weaknesses within you. Once the relationship is fully over, once you have fully grieved and reached acceptance. You will have strength. Strength of mind, and control back over you.
Its time to breath once again….. you are free!! Free to do what you want with your life. No longer are you controlled. Now that you know what your weaknesses are…. what are you going to do about it?
What were your weaknesses, and how did the sociopath change your life?