Catching the sociopath in the lie
A sociopath hates to be confronted about their lies. The lie is their cover. It is the cloak that a sociopath wears as a mask to the outside world. A sociopath hides behind its lies. Lies give them power. It gives the power to manipulate and deceive. Sociopaths take pleasure from manipulating people.
The most important thing to a sociopath is CONTROL. A sociopath hates to lose control. When you confront a sociopath about a lie, when you have gained the evidence, and confront them, they will do the following.
1. Change the subject
2. Become angry
3. Deflect (well what about x y z)?
They will REFUSE to confess to the lie. And will do anything to protect the lie. The lie is their friend. It is behind the lie that they feel safe.
And if you dare accuse the sociopath of something that they DIDN’T do. Because after all of the lies, you quite rightfully do not trust them, who would? They will go on and on and on about how you accused them of something that they didn’t do. They will repeat this for weeks. When it is something that they have done however, they will be keen not to discuss the matter again. If you accuse them of something that they didn’t do, and they prove this to you, they will use your poor judgement over and over as evidence that they are now telling the truth. ‘but you got that wrong, remember, you always accuse me of things that I do not do’. Sociopaths are great at deflection.
Everyone tells lies every now and again. White lies ‘Sorry I am late…..’ to your boss or ‘I can’t come to xxx because xxx’…. we all do this. Normally this is to get us out of trouble, or to prevent hurting someone’s feelings.
A sociopath however is different. A sociopath tells lies habitually, pathologically. What this means is that they lie all of the time. Most of what they say is not the truth. They lie to manipulate and deceive. They always have an agenda. When they are lying they have no care about your welfare, or your needs. They are simply thinking of their own selfish needs.
A sociopath will tell lies about everything. From what they ate for breakfast, to how much money they have, to what happened in their past. They will tell the most incredible lies. There is a saying ‘the bigger the lie, the more believable it is’ a sociopath would think nothing of telling you that somebody was dying of cancer (even themselves) if it suited their own needs.They would make up that they had a job, leave the house every day be out of the house all day. For no particular reason. They lie when often it would be far easier to tell the truth. There is no sense to it. They do not think ‘obviously this lie will be found out’ this doesn’t matter. What is important is using the lie to get what they want.
They like to win. They like to get what they want. They will lie and betray your trust, to use you, and to get what they want from you.
Also see https://datingasociopath.com/2013/02/27/dupers-delight-and-the-joy-of-conning-someone/