Have you met a Soulmate or Sociopath? What is the difference?


  • Comes on strong
  • Tries to move in fast
  • Lack of respect for personal space boundaries
  • Is keen to know everything about you and your life – whilst keeping his own secret (he will tell you lots of things – most is not true)
  • Talks at 100 miles an hour
  • Has an answer for everything
  • Seems memorising, even hypnotic
  • Talks so much that you can find it difficult to think
  • Plays victim about his past
  • Will push to sleep with you on first date
  • Is very attentive (overly so, you might feel embarrassed)
  • Doesn’t appear to have any nerves – is overconfident
  • Tells incredible stories – lots of them
  • Appears a bit too good to be true
  • Will promise you an amazing future – even though you have just met (he cant have already decided that he is going to spend the rest of his life with you)
  • Asks a lot of questions, but is very private about his own life
  • Discrepancies and gaps in the story ‘some things just don’t quite add up’
  • Can appear very superficial. False flattery which is not in keeping with what you know to be reality
  • Egotistical and boastful (much of the boasting will not be true)
  • Tells fantastical stories
  • Lack of long term connections from the past
  • Lack of inhibition

Soul mate true love connection

  • Feel an instant attraction and connection
  • Share a lot of common interests
  • The relationship also moves at speed, but you BOTH are moving at the same pace (in the relationship with the sociopath he moves the relationship at speed – often before you are ready)
  • Is keen to introduce you to everyone who is important to him, friends, family
  • At first is keen to make a good impression, but will naturally show signs of nervousness
  • Will verify any stories that have been told, by places you visit, people you meet etc
  • You will become part of each others lives – there is a sense of unity, teamwork, bonding, sharing. The sociopath often becomes part of YOUR life, whilst keeping his own separate
  • Talk about goals for the future, at reasonable timing that you are both comfortable with
  • Doesn’t always push for sex on the first date (although this might happen)
  • You won’t KNOW that this is going to be a fantastic relationship, although you might have some idea around probably 12 weeks + both of you will hold back ‘just in case’
  • Over those 12 weeks you find out about as much as you can about each other
  • When someone is really in love – you can see it in their eyes – eyes are the windows to the soul

The  rest is the same. As the sociopath mirrors what is the start of a fantastic relationship. It feels identical, exactly the same. Well, it can feel even more incredible. Unlike anything you have ever experienced. It feels intense.  Because it mirrors the feeling of a strong bond of a true love, you can believe that this is the real deal.

It is important when you are considering dating again, to –

  • Ensure that you are fully healed from the last relationship
  • Remember that sociopathic relationships, are controlling and abusive and will take longer to heal from
  • Take your time with dating someone new
  • Find out things about their past, ask to meet those who are close to him
  • If your new partner wants to move things at speed, faster than you are ready – pull back
  • If your new partner appears controlling under the guise of ‘love’ be wary
  • A true love connection takes time, even the person you will spend the rest of your life with. He/she will sweep you off your feet, but it will feel natural. With the sociopath it will feel like the sociopath is taking control and motivating the speed of your relationship. If the relationship IS a long term relationship – your partner won’t mind pulling back and taking your time
  • Check the eyes – are they warm and showing the eyes of someone who is in love? – or the eyes of someone who is constantly analysing and processing information? – The predatory stare?

All rights reserved, Copyright datingasociopath.com Nikki Gillett 2018 (written originally May 2013).

6 thoughts on “Have you met a Soulmate or Sociopath? What is the difference?”

  1. My last two ex’s. Big time. I uncovered So much but have still been stupidly sending her emails/trying too help her. Some men are hoovering n some are trained too. Do better “research” on me and Them. Assholes. I’ve been hearing bulshit from both in every town n every shelter. Especially Coreen.

    Sent from my iPhone


    1. Hell be happy you got out of these sordid relationships and leave them the hell alone. You can’t help a sociopath, a professional therapist can help them some if they want help but you can’t. Sounds like you think you can help them in hopes of getting them back. Let it go and move on.

    1. How long were you together? Do you have any other connections (children, mutual friends, family, business, work). You would have given him something to think about. If you weren’t together too long. He might leave you alone. It is important to stick to what you have been doing and continue doing so. He might try to push you to see if you would report him. Or set you up and threaten you. So be warned of that. but hopefully he will move on.

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