Did you get away from somebody who was treating you badly, only to find further prison walls, that left you feeling just the same as you did when you were in the relationship?
Is that person now getting on with their lives to the full, while you, appear to be still stuck and trapped, sometimes years later? Sitting in the carnage and wreckage of the life that was created, deliberately, by somebody else?
‘I change my “mask” a couple times a day for each person I come in contact with. People cannot really explain or define me as an individual except for ideal or perfect because I pair to them with what they want to see.’
When you look back to the relationship in the past (or if you are still there, perhaps why you are reluctant to leave), you remember the ‘good times’. If you see my last post, hopefully you will understand why this happens. It is the combination of:
- Cognitive dissonance
- Former or current gaslighting
- Trauma Bonding
- (And maybe Stockholm Syndrome)
It can be heartbreaking to understand, that all of those memories, and life events, were created to manipulate you. To use you, and to take what the sociopath could take from you. The person that you were involved with (if indeed he/she is a true Socio/Psychopath) is an empty individual. A person who has no true emotions, he/she mirrors others and put on a mask to be whatever it is that they think you want/need to see. Simply to get what they want from you. It is as simple as that. A clever person, who is able to mirror anybody that they come into contact with, if that is to their convenience. If you miss those ‘good times’ they were faked, to mirror you. Your needs and your likes.
You have to feel sorry for them really. Empty vessels in life, who are nobody.
Not only did they mirror you, enter your world, your dreams and ambitions. They either destroyed, or tarnished them. And now you are left to pick up the pieces of your life.
Remember this person is a liar.
While in the relationship you were kept prisoner. Perhaps it took you a long time to get out. Maybe you are still there, maybe you got out quickly. However you escaped. The truth is that you were kept a prisoner. They called the shots, (even if they allowed you to believe that you were). They owned and controlled you.
Many of you feel disappointed to realise that you still feel like a prisoner in your own life, or struggle to move on, long after the relationship has ended.
What is blocking you from moving forward?
If this person has left your life. If this person has gone. You are free. The only person blocking your pathway towards success within your own life is you.
It is so easy to sit still. To be paralysed by what has happened to you. To look back on the good times, when you were effectively no more than a puppet, controlled by your puppet master. You can be left feeling cut to the floor when the strings have been cut by the master.
You still feel the ‘strings’ of attachment. That were deliberately created by the Sociopath. You still remember the power the control.
You need to set yourself free.
Visualisation techniques to cut the chords that bind you
First thing to do is to do a visualisation technique to cut the chords that bind you. I wrote a post about this five years ago that you can read here .
This is a visualisation technique where you remove emotional attachments and connection to this person. For those people who are not spiritual, perhaps skip this part, if it does not interest you.
Regaining control of your life
If the relationship that you were in, was very emotionally damaging, if you have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), I know that it is not easy to rebuild. Take it step by step.
I want you to be in the present. To make goals and plans for your future. To know that you are going to be safe. That you are safe to make those future plans and now is the time to work towards them. Not tomorrow, next week, or month. This person has taken enough of your time.
I want you to start looking forward, and planning forward. It really is true that we create the world that we want to see. I know that if you are going through a very tough time right now, that can be incredibly difficult to believe. Particularly if you have been battling to rebuild your life for a number of times.
Well, maybe you will never be able to rebuild it as it was. An important part of recovery is to let that go. It is about rebuilding and growth. I even moved house. The truth is sometimes I miss my old home, the more that I reminisce about this, the more I feel sad, upset.
Create the world you want to see
I really want you to look at the above quote. To try to take it in. It is really important.
The more that you spend time thinking – life isn’t fair. The more that life will continue not to be fair.
The more that you focus on what this person did to you. The higher chance that you will remain stuck.
To move forward. I want you to focus on what you can do. How can you rebuild? Loss is incredibly hard, particularly when you have experienced multiple losses, deliberately at the hands of someone else who you loved, and trusted.
That is hopefully gone. Today, is a new day. Today is a blank piece of paper. Make a wish. Go to the cosmic ordering website.
Decide what it is that you want to rebuild first? Do you need a new job? Then ask for that. Be specific. Time frame it. Then start thinking about it. How can you achieve this?
Are you feeling depressed? See a doctor.
If you are emotionally damaged. See a professional therapist. I believe with the right therapist, that you can move mountains in a short space of time, and begin to really undo damage that was done to you. I started counselling and have found it really beneficial.
Were your friendships broken? Well, if they were, those people were not your true friends, as believe me, your real friends would still be there at the end of the storm.
Do you need to move home? Are there too many memories where you live? I would cosmically order one using the website, then start to make plans as to how you can realistically achieve this.
Do you need to make sure that you are safe? Don’t be frightened to report to the police.
Stop living in the confines and the prison of your own mind. You lived that way because it was convenient for someone else. While they were manipulating you, to get what they want from you. You do not need to live in that prison for any longer than you need to.
Start thinking positive. The world needs you. People probably miss you. Pick up the phone and call somebody you haven’t spoken to in a while. They probably have missed you.
Start small, and soon you will be growing big. Give yourself time to heal, time to grieve. You have been through a lot. Be gentle on yourself. It does take some time, particularly when you have to grieve somebody who never existed.
You really can do this. The only thing holding you back now is you.
Copyright datingasociopath.com 2018