The most important thing to a sociopath is control. They feel the need to control the person that they are with. If they did not have control, they would not be able to manipulate you. A sociopath needs to be in control, it is only when he feels that he is losing his control, will you see the mask slip and the narcissistic rage occur.
A sociopath will gain total control over someone’s life by doing a number of things.
- Compulsive lying, to mislead you, to enable a false sense of trust. He has the upper hand if he can lead you into a false sense of security.
- Keeping a very close eye on his latest victim. This means knowing everything about you, where you are going, what you are doing, what you are thinking. At first this might be flattering, much later in the relationship it will feel suffocating.
- He will gas light you, which means feeding you false information, to damage your self esteem and make you feel weak, and sometimes make you question your own mind, and to make you feel guilty.
- He will bombard you with love bombing, constantly contacting you, speaking to you, taking 100% of your time, so that you do not have time to think, or spend time with other people.
- He will make false and empty promises to you, so that you are holding on waiting for those empty promises to materialise. They never will. In fact he never had any intention of materialising those promises. It is your expectation waiting for it to happen, that gives him control.
- He will, over time, have control over almost every area of your life. Your home, your work, your friends, family, your finances. In every single way that you can think about. Much of which you will not realise until the relationship is over.
- When the relationship is over, he will start smear campaigns about you, lying about you, to destroy your good name. His biggest fear is for people to find out about him, the real him. The true him. If you complain about him, he will make out that you are crazy.
- He will threaten you with authorities, police, work, parents, family, anything that keeps his control over you.
The relationship will start, feeling swept off your feet, feeling that you have met your soul mate. It will end, feeling that you have declined into the deep depths of hell. You will be left feeling absolutely confused, disorientated. Questioning, how much of this was true? How much was a lie?
A sociopath will move from Mr Perfect, to a totally different man altogether. At first he holds it all together. Everything knitted together with his web of lies. As the relationship comes to an end, he does not even care if you know that he is a liar. In fact, he might get glee from you discovering his lies (called dupers delight).
When a sociopath loses control of a situation, you will see a different character. His mask slips, and for a while, you can see his insanity. It is as if control, is the glue that holds him together. When he has lost control, he has nothing. Watch a sociopath who has lost control of a situation, and you will watch him decline to meltdown. At this point, he appears to have no control of his emotions. The loss of control, leads him to lose composure and the fake mask that he wears, will slip and you will see the real man.
It is reported that there is nothing that you can do to win. I disagree. But you need strength of character to do so, and I wouldn’t recommend it with a distempered sociopath, only a charismatic one.
If you are struggling to escape, if the relationship is over and he is making your life hell – What does work, is mirroring back to the sociopath his own behaviour. Not allowing him to control you. You can do this by mirroring him, feeding him false information, lying, telling him the opposite to what you are actually doing and constantly changing your mind. Keep changing the goalposts. Threaten him, with any information that you know about him. Everything that he does to you, threaten him with. Without control the sociopath has nothing, and is nothing and will need to find someone else to control.
If he doesn’t have you pinned down, he can no longer control you. You might think that you are stupid for allowing this to happen to you. But you are not. He is manipulative, conning, deceptive and a compulsive pathological liar. He is a chameleon, and he can only manipulate you, by knowing your every single move. Sometimes this is the only way to escape.
Remember the sociopath is not strong. He is a weak individual, which is why he is so reliant upon others. He cannot survive without someone else to control. He needs that. He thrives off of someone elses personality, and someone elses life. But he will do everything that he can to keep that control. To retain it. And if he decides that he has used you up, then he will do all that he can to completely destroy you.
Dating a Sociopath 
Its chilling when some total stranger tells my story to such exact detail. How can this be real?
I totally agree with you, but it helps to understand what you, me, and everyone else who has fallen victim to a Sociopath really had to endure. And what was really going on, and that we are not the Crazy ones as ” They ” would like us to believe!
This article is extremely right on ! I have a step daughter who still lives in our home that fits this to the “T” . Any person whom she dates , she will isolate them just as this describes . She convenes them that were horrible parents ( because we know the lies and that means we see past the mask ) . Let me restate that , she convinces them that ” I am ” out to get her , that I make her feel bad about herself . It’s all my fault that she is not successful . She didn’t want to go to college , but tells her once friends that we wouldn’t allow her to go . I constantly have people from church or even strangers come up to me and ask me why we don’t get along ? There would be no reason that a parent or step parent wouldn’t want their child to succeed ? i have been to numerous therapist to try and understand this personality . I’ve even gone for just myself thinking it was something that I am not seeing about myself that needs to be addressed ? She has medication that she will sometimes take and others not but tells everyone that we make her take medication and she feels drugged . They have no sense of reality . Will lie just for the sake of lyeing and never learn from their mistakes like a normal thinking individual . She’s been caught stealing and is always going through everyone’s things in the house with no regards to her sibling things . She’s 20 , just lost her job & totaled her car this month . They can only keep up with the lies for just so long before they come crashing down . I used to take these things personally and have come to realize that it’s not personal …. It’s who they are . As they progress in life , it only gets worse .
As a parent ( stepparent ) I have no choice in the relationship . I try to love her where she’s at and have the best boundaries possible .its taken me 14 years to actually see what’s going on and understand . If you ever find yourself dating a sociopath … Run ! It’s not an easy life to endure and it never gets better .
I feel the exact same way! When I’m reading it feels like a story of my life and I picture my situation as I read it.. Crazy to know there’s really people that do this everyday!
My story also, I could probably write a book, 16 years of confusion, so, so glad I decided to educate myself, I wish I knew this about 10 years ago, But I thank God I do today
Welcome to the site Dee
Education is the ONLY WAY to get out of the spell of these real-life vampires. For us (the empaths), is like to be part of a bad taste, scary Sci-Fi movie, but it’s unfortunately true life. Educate yourself, share your story and maintain NO CONTACT attitude at all costs. It gets better day after day…
Absolute same boat.
He made me apologize for leaving as He was making me cum last night.
He has lied and lied and lied since I met him a year ago and doesn’t care. The only time I see him emote is when I don’t comply and he gets furious. When we’re not together, texts me nonstop about how much he misses me. But when I’m there, as soon as he fucks me he expects me to leave. As soon as I leave he texts that he is upset that I left. Not that he asked me to stay. It goes on and on and on and on and on and on like this. Expert manipulator. Inhuman. He’s even gone so far as to tell me I’m sociopathic because I can just stop talking to him and “feel nothing”.
I am changing my number today.
I did it, I broke my sociopath. I mirrored him, started lying to him about everything, even trivial things. And then Sunday we were planning to spend the day together and he calls when he should have been arriving at my house and says proudly, “I’m going to the river with my friends”.
Failing to keep an appointment or date without even letting the other person know is Adam’s specialty. He loves doing it to me. And naturally it is a personal pet peeve of mine. It makes me furious! I can tolerate just about anything, but that is a game changer. He would rather go through a living hell, get kicked out of his house and loose his car, than make a 2 minute phone call and let me know something came up. Now he’s threatening suicide which is just plain silly & absurd. He is going to kill himself to avoid my bitching about being stood up. He is going to “blow his brains out” because it is a better solution than having to call and cancel an appointment. He would rather kill himself than get a job. That’s a SP thing. They can’t match the appropriate emotional response to a given drama. Finally I tell him, “will you please stop saying that. Psychopaths never commit suicide!”
So, he stood me up on our date Sunday, and I told him, via text:
JUST TO BE SURE WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE…
YOU ARE FULLY AWARE OF MY WISHES AND OUR PLANS TODAY. AND YOU ARE FREELY CHOOSING TO IGNORE MY WISHES WITH COMPLETE DISREGARD TO WHATEVER THE CONSEQUENCES MAY BE.
And that was all it took to break him. I didn’t even have to tell him what the consequences were (I hadn’t thought of that yet). He just felt he had lost control. And it was exactly as you said: complete loss of composure. Fury one minute, crying the next. Whining and constantly threatening suicide. Like every other sentence he would threaten suicide. Complete meltdown. It was as though he lost control over himself and now he was upset because he could see the reality of his own life. 26 and absolutely nothing to show for it.
I had expected the sweet taste of revenge but I did not feel that way at all. His mask was gone and his true self was seen. He was a pathetic 26 year old, whining and crying like a 8 year old child who didn’t get his way. And then the suicide threats – my boyfriend was going to kill himself if he didn’t get an ice cream cone. I saw him for the idiot that he is. Behind all that cold dominance, constant fury, and brutal masculinity there was but a delicate fragile child who didn’t get his mother’s love and affection at a very young age.
I told him he has to start taking responsibility for his actions and stop blaming me for everything. Then I said, ”you don’t even know what that word means. Responsibility is a foreign concept to you”. He was a person who had NEVER made an airline flight on time. It is amazing just how someone who appears so nice and normal most of the time, can be such a total failure at living day to day. It’s amazing just how messed up they are. I know he can’t change, it just felt good to get those things off my chest.
I hated seeing him like that, so I started picking up the pieces and put humpty dumpty back together again. I told him he has a bright future ahead probably as a CEO, because he has many traits of very successful people {sociopath}. I told him he is extremely likeable, and very handsome, and a sexual god with a huge penis. Suddenly, just like that, the mask appeared and he was back to normal….
Hey well good for you!! When the sociopath loses (real or perceived) that they are losing control over you – all sense of composure vanishes. Then you witness the person who is really behind the mask. The angry person, well… you know…. the crazy person. Its incredible how well they can hide it. And how quickly it can vanish once they feel that they have lost control.
Hi Pos, nice to hear from you. This post was interesting. They all from the same mold, how typical. :). Love an Peace..
My daughter was head over heels for a man like this. He almost turned her against us because we tried to get her to see the truth. He bought her an engagement ring to “prove” how much he loved her, but it was only to make her committed to him, not him committed to her. He would do something terrible to her, but once she confronted him, he would sob and beg and threaten to hurt himself. Even I would feel bad for him and think he had finally changed. The last time, after he “messed up again,” she wouldn’t talk to him. He drove his truck into a tree. He didn’t hurt himself much, just enough to call her and say he is hurt. This young man said he was abused when he was young, but I am not sure if that is true or just a ploy for sympathy. I tend to believe that may be why he is this way. Having a family member go through this is torture. My daughter is only 18 and is beautiful and motivated. He can’t keep a job and drove her car more than his own. This has been the worst year of our lives trying to keep her safe and not allowing him to turn her against us. He has isolated her from everyone. Now that she has stood up to him and left, she feels she doesn’t have anyone.
Lololol! What a pity he and his kind are… so glad we’re gaining consciousness 🙂
If it makes you guys feel better I went to school with Jonathan Taylor Thomas he suffers from BPD and his mommy is a Sociopath herself no Joke. He’s a total mommy’s boy and he has a very weak self image who can’t handle or indicate anyone calling him crazy or anything he’ll run to a detective if you call him gay, stupid, idiot it’s so sad. He sure did keep to himself alot on campus very smart guy but mentally not all there.
I broke the sociopath, but it took patience and timing. I won’t go in to all the horrific details, but we did work for the same company and she was my boss. And my ex-domestic partner. For months I watched her steal from the company, take her new girlfriend (and her kids) on a Hawaiian vacation paid for unethically by the company, never coming in to work (we worked in a branch office so the higher-ups didn’t see) and knowing that she was attempting to steal the business away. I tried to leave the company, but the new gf interfered with a promising job interview I had, and it fell through. When the ex found out about the job interview she berated me for not telling her about it in advance – CONTROL! But the ex was tolerated, even lauded because she brought so much $$ into the company. After 7 months of hell, I finally came across indisputable evidence that she was involved in a federal crime that could take the entire company down. I reported it, all her misdeeds came to light and within 14-days she was terminated for cause. Of course, she began a crazy smear campaign, but all it did was show her for the insane sociopath that she is.Because she knows I have evidence of additional criminal violations, and because she continues to be under federal investigation, she has had the good sense to stay out of my life. I count myself extremely fortunate that I had the opportunity to make this happen. If she hadn’t screwed up and dropped the evidence right in my lap, I don’t know where I would be.
Wow it sounds like you have been on some journey. Is she leaving you alone now?
For now. Last I heard from her was in early September when she hacked into my email and sent my employer a suicide/resignation letter – as if it was from me, trying to impress upon them my supposed “mental instability”. Projection much? Smear Campaign?! Sheesh…The following week she created an email address which was almost exactly like one of my family members, and tried to engage me in a dialog to get information about the investigation. What a whack job.
Ugh their ability to go to extreme lengths to discredit you, and make you out to be the crazy one… is just horrible to experience. I described it as emotional rape as that was really how it felt to me.
We, sociopaths, are not insane. We just don’t have all of the feelings that most people do. In fact most “normal” people appear to have a limited grasp of logic and are constantly distracted by emotion. In fact I am a good person because I choose to be not because I am “guilted” into it. It sucks that many of you were victimized by someone like me, but hey “normal” people can be assholes too.
Would you not agree that at a time when you were losing control over someone, if someone was leaving you and you didn’t want that, that you would literally lose control. Being without conscience anything can and does happen. At that point when the sociopath loses control it does go to insanity. You can see it in the eyes colours drain from the face. Actually doing same thing over expecting different results is a bit crazy. Sociopaths do things on impulse or say things that is not in their own long term interests that is crazy too.
I have seen the colour drain from his face! Petrifying! Seen the cold black shark eyes and the evil smirk!! I didn’t know the colour drain meant loss of control. Insanity. His face was gray but in fact looked like no colour and it looked like I was looking at an x-ray held up to the light!
I quite agree normal people can be assholes too. Absolutely.
Dexter,
That’s an interesting comment.
It’s true that normal people can be mean as well and that sociopaths can be nice. But are you capable of being empathetic and feeling love? Feelings connect you to other people.
The interesting thing I find about sociopaths is that they seem very dependent on other people for validation (obsession with winning, for example. Winning requires that there are other people involved), but they do not feel connected to other people.
June
I find it strange because it’s so unfamiliar.
For me, winning is not necessary because I already feel connected to people via common emotions. So I am very confused when I see someone who is very obsessed with winning. In my POV, they appear to be overcompensating for an extreme lack of.
Yes I really agree with this statement 🙂
Interesting comment June. I have witnessed some of the worst and cruel behaviour from non sociopaths and some of the kindest from a sociopath. People might not agree with this, but it is true.
Yeah but we don’t try to control others by theatening their job, home, family etc…when we don’t get our way.
Yes! Their actions are evil. You think that they are demon possessed? As I know that when the rage occurred I saw his eyes turn black.They won’t let go, their energy is something I had never witnessed or felt before, pure evil to want to deliberately hurt, harm, bear false witness, destroy and ruin another human being. I can’t see how that can be anything other than evil.
I am a sociopath, and I am going to explain why I do this to people. This may make some people mad and all, but at least you guys will understand why this is so addicting.
My first boyfriend was actually my friend’s ex, because my “friend” told everyone I was cutting myself, and that is pretty bad for my reputation. So, I got in this guy’s pants, and it made her sooo mad. It’s was so amazing watching her get all pissed Everytime I sucked on his lips in front of her. The fact that he was a weed dealer helped too. So, I was getting free weed, getting revenge on this bitch, getting some amazing sex, and ultimately a dope ass high out of it all. So honestly, you can see how I benefit from all this, and I don’t regret any of it. So go ahead and attack my morals, cause no one gives a fuck. ✌️
Ok so you didn’t explain why you do this to people , basically sounds like you wanted revenge on your friend . If you think people
Don’t give a fuck YOUR wrong ! Because it’s shit like that you do that takes away the innocence in a relationship and robs victims of ever believing in anything good . So here’s some advice get help and stop fucking with people because ultimately in the end your only fucking yourself , because with time we will heal BUT you and all the other sociopaths will remain empty and morals have nothing to do with It because you couldn’t possibly comprehend what that even means !
After two years of exposure to a ‘textbook’ sociopath, I think these folks are genuinely ill, they are mentally distorted. Sociopathy is a life long deficiency of conscience. They cannot be healed. You cannot help. You have to save your sanity. Once you start seeing through their mask, you must run.. Every single day you stay in their company is YOUR loss.
i absolutely agree with everything that it is stated in this post. i was involved with a charismatic high functioning sociopath and it took a lot of years to realise exactly what he was as he is muster manipulator and he mirrored me so well that i could not tell what was happening becouse of the confusion and virtual reality he present to me. In my case i was a challlenge to him i believe as becouse of my indepented personality he could not easlily feel in control. so i experienced for long the love bombing stage,. Finally, deliberately or not, i will never know, he found a way to betray and hurt me deeply. In the same time he was keeping me confused by lies and more lies and distortion of reality. I can see now retrospectively how big fun my emotional turmoil gave at him. But soon after this i put the pieces of the puzzle together , i found out the truth and i confronted him in a way that totally desabilised him. I show exactly this positiva… His eyes changed color, his face became suddenly think like a metal, his look absolutely icy and empty , like he was somebody that i have never new. He had hate in his eys when only some min bebore he was stating his love. Absolutely horrific, the true person behind the mask. Rarely i show slips in his mask and in a way that was good as i was being subtly not overtly abused , but in the same time it caused damage as it enhanced cognitive dissonance. Neverthelles i left him and now he has no contol in me as a person. Unfortunately he can exert soame control as we have to cooperate in a work project and from this it is obvious how much control means to him. He will try to use anything to upift his ego and to feel that he can impact me by any means. But he lost, and i think despite his grandiosity, he knows it even though he will never admit it.
and yes , of course there are a lot of normal people who behave like assholles and make terrible things and maybe there are sociopaths who behave quite well, mine did the most of the time. The difference that i find is that the everyday asshole very soon will show who he is as his emotional state by one or other way will betray him. Additionally the most stupidities done by normals happen when their consciense becomes disconnected for whatever reason. But the sociopath , especially the charismatic one can go for ages covert until he gives the final blow to his victim as his emotional emptyness and lack of consience give him the power to manipulate ,lie and deceive for long. And i have concluded ,what gives them away finally is that being gradiose , they believe that they can fool the victim for ever. They become more and more arrogant , they push the boundaries more and more and then they slip. They make a fatal mistake and they are caught as the victim in meantime becomes wiser and grows despite the overt or covert abuse. At least this is what i observed. And i have no problem at all if one is a sociopath and he can stay so self disciplined that he does not cause harm to people who is connected closely with. What matters for me is the behavior not the label. But i really wonder, how often this can happen and for how long it can be sustained?
Exactly right !! I got out of a 8 yr marriage to one of these things, I don’t even call him human. But you cannot beat them with emotional intelligence it simply doesn’t work. I did beat him threw mirroring,I played dumb( facade), lied, and used my voice(smear campaign)to people of importance of course, and finally (discarded) him threw the police. He was cheating, stealing even from our kids, grabbed me by the throat to many times to count and refused to leave, constantly told me how much better other woman are, then threatened to destroy me. Has attempted to have me and the kids put on the streets. I voice recorded him on my phone 3 months before getting him out. He walked in the court room all smug, thinking he was going to WIN well ha ! the judge listened to some pretty evil voice recordings and evidence. When that happened he started shaking, and went red and went for my throat in the court room. He is now having a nice life sleeping with, and living with my so called, and now ex aunt, and they loooooove pity telling anyone that will listen to there bs …..naaaw boo fucking hoo!! Ugly monsters that they are. I now have a no contact RO for 12 months. the idiot has already breached it sending me a nasty text, once again he gets another visit from the police doh !…….You have to just get to the point of being so sick of the abuse that you get mad, but show no emotion, be secretive and drop your own conscience just to get rid of them. It might not be the end of it, but I am ready. In the meantime No contact has giving me a mind of my own for the first time in years, and away from his sickness and control. Peace 😉
Beautiful, good for you 🙂
I have a similar situation currently encompassing and suffocating every aspect of my life. It’s been 5 going on 6 years, a 3 year old child, too many loses to count financially, emotionally, opportunities, etc. I achieved freedom last year for 6months via Extreme sudden measures, which he didn’t see coming, and could not control or change once initiated. I didn’t pay the rent, lied about it, and when the owner came to evict us, it was to late to resolve anything, we were now homeless, which meant my child and I were free from his abuse! No home = no abuse. He tried to get me to stay with his family, I refused, ( so he could control me there) no way. I went to a shelter with my child, amd had no contact for 2 months, then he found me. He lied to family and tried to have my child taken. He stalked me any chance. Police were called, and ties were once severed. 6 months of building myself up again, I “thought” I was ready and strong enough to stand up to him. I failed, he bullied his way and move into MY new place and the abuse has gotten worse. Physical, sexual, emotional, permanent physical damage. I live in fear of “what if..he, say, does, lies, ” he has and will do anything to “keep” us in his control, stalking, I lock him out he bangs on door 8 hours straight! Nerve racking, embarrassing, I pray a neighbor calls police…I can’t bc if he ever found out, it would be his motive and justification to destroy me. He tells me I will never get rid of him, he’s not going anywhere, basically too bad he’s not leaving. Restraining orders will only add fuel, police need a testimony, he doesn’t care if our child is subjected. My question to you: Did the judge order no contact for your children as well? I’m worried he would “kidnAp” our child any given chance, just to spite me. Proving this seems impossible. He is a master manipulator, professional con, fraud, liar, cheat. He has mastered his only “skill” and unless you “know” him as I do. I just appear to be a “insecure” or ” jealous” wife when he tells his story. I want him out! I don’t want to move again, I don’t want to run and hide, I wish he would just “f-off” I pray he finds a new source.
They are sick and evil ..I had my savings taken,my car smashed,nearly lost my job.I lost family members and friends..nasty and sick individuals… They are not human! Masters of illusion!!! Con artists who continue to lie,manipulate, deceive, steal,cheat and all of the above x 1000!!!!!! Peace to anyone who has endured this hell on earth!!!! Xxxxx
Welcome kat x
Well stated. It is as a demon lives within them and the things they do are so crazy that you can’t understand how anyone can be so evil as to think of what they do let alone do it.
Hell on earth, worse than being in Viet Nam!
It was during a discussion about an affair I was questioning that I realised what she was. She started shouting Iv lost control, Iv lost control. It was frightening. The next day she came home and gaslighted me into beleiving I was paranoid and used my childhood against me and said I need to be in hospital. I nearly committed myself!! frightening and now we are divorcing and I have to live through this on my own as all my friends have been lied to and think its me having an affair. I feel in such a corner with no way out as bit by bit all my independence has been given away; finance, no job anymore, no friends no self esteem. Its going to be a long journey to get myself back.. Iv been suicidal over this but I am now fighting to get myself back. What a wasted 8 years of marriage.
Hey Paul, sociopaths don’t like to be challenged, they are quite happy when in full control. Once you question this, taking away their control, they freak and then try to destroy what very little you have left of you, and your life. I understand where you are. I have been there too. It is horrible so bad, you feel that you cannot get back up…. where Is normal? They remove, tarnish, take away anything of value in your life. Take it one day at a time, step by step, day by day.
I’m a Psychopath , and I disagree with the last paragraph.
We can live without victims and without anyone in our lives for long time as long as we are hunting for something else more important then a relationship like Money, status ,power.
For victims out there ,
I miss you
Yeah but we don’t try to control others by theatening their job, home, family etc…when we don’t get our way.
You are a wanker with two hands
Im a psychopath.
I am recently out of a long term engagement, with an even longer partner.
We are definitely capable of “love”, and to us, it means the same as love does to the normal. They are just not compatible. Certain feelings, appropriate responses and etiquette just does not exist within us. My ex left me a month and a bit before our wedding.
We had a fight. I suppose she broke my mask down. I melted down.
Started off by drinking a bottle of herbicide before speeding off in my car to purchase large amounts of blow. I then proceeded to try my hardest to wipe myself out on the highway. Spun out across 6 lanes at 200km/h. Not a scratch to myself. So later that night I took a lethal combination of medication and half a gram of klonnopin with the intention of taping a bag around my neck. I fell into a coma before I had a chance.
Woke up several days later in an ICU unit attached to respirators and all sorts.
Was finally commited to a loony bin. My ex took the opportunity to push my buttons, reflect my own past maliciousness back onto myself knowing that I was not in a position to respond or retaliate or deal with it.
so I got discharged. With the intention of another suicide.
Later that week my ex said something along the lines of “playing wolf” – so I tried again – this time with the knowledge and understanding that I didnt have much time to put the bag over my head. Managed the bag. Didnt manage to tape it. Coma. respirator. icu. this time I woke up entirely alone. No family. No fiance. Same icu bed even.
permanent post-coma amnesia. Heart damage. Kidney and liver damage.
I got sectioned to a government lunatic asylum. 3rd world spartan institution.
If it wasnt for the fact that I am a psychopath – that place wouldve broken me.
I have now secured a sure fire way of taking myself out and I am always a brief consideration from doing so. Should I do it today? Depends. Can I make some money illegally? If so Ill delay it. One thing is for sure it seems the best route to take.
I have worked in many fields and have been highly respected in each. I am a highly highly intelligent logical individual.
And so it occurs to me: I was “happy” when I was engagmened. I was in control yes I realize that now and it provided companionship. Companionship that was an obsession and allot of the time dreaded. But I loved the time with her none the less. Just not in a way most of you are able to understand.
I miss her terribly. Every day. But what is it that I miss? Someone to validate my awesomeness? Twisted.
I worked in exceptionally high paying jobs in numerous fields – as I say I am internationally respected for my work. None of it provided any sense of accomplishment or thrill.
My illegal activities keep me busy. and in this case harmless in the sense I haven’t had any interaction with another human for nearly 5 months. But I feel a sense of accomplishment and a furthering in my scholastic journey. I know its pointless. but it does make for a better swansong.
If thats the happiest ive been and either based on a delusional illegal ploy indirectly negatively affecting the lives of others – or in a serious relationship where I am manipulating controlling, deceitful and violent (always towards myself. in the most horrific of manners.) – both sittuations I have the impression that I am “in control”.
So Ive been reading and watching interviews and discussions on antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy:
And all I can conclude is what is the point?
What is the point if I cant make myself happy, cannot do anything good for people I “care” about (my perceived experience of caring for another). Ive had little no, or bad responses to medication.
Therapy has never worked.
Ive been hospitalized 5 times by age 27.
Thats not a life worth living.
There is no benefit.
Its a way of passing the time through self gratification.
The more I read about peoples experiences (sorry, “victims” – as if we chose to be mentally ill!!) – I am left with an unemotional, calculated understanding/acceptance that both myself and those around me would all be better off if I finished the job and killed myself.
There should be a national list of socio/psychopaths that people can report to when they have been harmed by the parasites.
If only …. but would we believe it once seduced? More likely we would hear how it was filed by a bitter ex who had emotional mental problems. Leaving you to feel how extra special lucky you are.
He can drag my name in the mud all he wants! Smear me…blah! blah!blah! He is garbage and he knows that I know it…That’s why he TRIED to destroy me. My advice to other people. Learn from myself, read posts from “DD” (ME) I am glad to be alive and still sane after what I went through. No contact means NO CONTACT! I questioned it too and I hoped my suspicions were wrong but I FINALLY learned after he handcuffed me and put a gun to my head. I was too much of a challenge for him and he couldn’t control me.I witnessed psychopathic rage first hand but I escaped.I refused to beleive his lies. I am a testimony of a person that challenged a psychopath. Don’t do it! You may not be as lucky as me. Run for your life.Keep them far away! My psycho fits the full description. Every article …everyone is HIM! He is such scum. I wouldn’t be surprised if I see him on the news for being a serial killer down the road..If I had known that he would become violent. ..I would have never have gotten as brave as I did..When I met him he told me, “I am a bad man” I didn’t believe him, though I should’ve. Lesson learned. It’s not a joke or a game…These people are sick and god can’t help because they are evil…pure hateful dirt scumbags…you can’t change them …they are brought to you by SATAN it’s self! Life is to short and I am worth more…so are all of you. Peace.
I wrote this poem for all the victims of Sociopathic demons out there…” Satan knocked at the door and he charmed me with his lies and cast his smiles. I was cautious at first, but alas their was a gleam of hope in his eyes, but then I looked again and to my demise it was only My reflection. RS july 2016 c.
This is great Rachel. Seems your thinking has been along similar to mine recently.
I wish I had no feelings for other people. Good or Bad. He hurt me and I wish I never met him.
Dont blame yourself…love is not a crime, trusting is not a crime…these parasites are criminals with no substance of their own…let their hate consume them as you keep on loving you.
Did anyone else have their significant other always “swear to God” about things and have them turn out to be lies? Who can swear on God’s name and be lying? He even swore on his son’s name. (for me it happens all the time) He is constantly demanding respect and yet he never gives even a sliver in return. I hate my life right now. :O(
Ha this did make me chuckle. Not only swear to god. But also swear on anyones life even swearing on his dead fathers grave. Gods honest truth it must be true. Of course… it was a lie… he would swear on his daughters life and anyones life. But of course this was all a pack of lies he was a pathological liar.
Yes demands to put pressure on you and make you feel like you are the bad one. It is mind control at its finest.
Yes I have seen the black pupils like they lose their entire retina and the abusive foul language and threats loke their demon possessed, just because I didn’t answer the phone because I was resting after a five hour andominal surgery. Amazing that they would think of you as being with anyone on a date after that…Even if you are faithful, although they are not…they will acuse you of everything that they would do to you and more because they think everyone is as warped and mentally ill as they are…no compassion nor empathy at all…
YES DEMON POSSESSED! I have been thinking about this recently, was he demon possessed during that time? I watched footage of Beyonce at the Superbowl, where she said a spirit called Sasha Fierce goes into her – it was like that. The whole face structure changed, the eyes went jet black. Additional to this, was the sheer energy he had at this time -how he did NOT care. Wanted to cause as much harm and damage to me, as he possibly could.It was during those times that I knew he was out of control.
Yes, I think they are demon possessed..I am a good Christian woman…Satan always trys to destroy God’s elect…and yes the eyes go black it is very scary
This article could have been written about my life.
WHERE ARE SUPPORT GROUPS????
I cannot find any that fit.
I spent almost 40 years with a narcopath, married for 34 years, had 2 sons. He was a charismatic sociopath— loved by many while behind the scenes he was abusing me and cruelly using me.
I reached out to many professionals over the years. Shame on them!!
“If only you hadn’t angered him.” He’s under a lot of stress.” “He’s tired.” “He works so hard for and is so good to his family.” “You (meaning me) are exaggerating, I’m sure he didn’t do that. You are mistaken. You are confused. ”
They put it back on me. Maybe they would have answered differently if I had a black eye when I spoke to them. Maybe. Shame on them!!
I eventually put an exit plan in place. My plan was to leave him once my youngest child was ‘launched’. And so, once my youngest son graduated college and got job and place to live, I turned up my focus on executing my exit plan.
Then I started to learn that, unbeknownst to me, he had stolen a LOT of money from some people, way MORE money from me, and he was about to get caught. Jail would have been a certainty.
He killed himself. Coward did not want to face the consequences of his actions.
He intentionally left me with a complicated and horrible mess. He made sure he left me decimated on every level. It took years to get an understanding of the scope. (He forged my name on many, many documents)
I will survive. He will not succeed in destroying me.
I am looking for a support group. No Luck. ANY HELP??
I have tried many, many support groups but they’re not the right fit.
Suicide support groups:
Nope. They want to talk about the horrible depression, mental illness, and pain that drives someone to kill themselves. Not even remotely describes him or his motivations.
Drug/Alcohol Addiction support groups for partners:
Nope. They want to talk about the disease he suffered and attendant compassion and understanding I should have. Although he drank, does not describe him.
Behavioral Therapy:
Nope. They talk about how he was mentally ill and I should be compassionate about his pain and disease. They want me to believe that Maybe he was manic (bipolar). Maybe he was depressed. Maybe he was abused as a child. Maybe he was tortured by anxiety. They want me to care about his issues rather than my healing. Funny, when Law & Order SVU collars a perp they do not tell the victim to consider how hard it’s been for the perp. Nope. They call the behavior WRONG.
Thanks for listening.