Sometimes you need to meet a compulsive liar to learn to love and trust yourself!
Putting this here as a reminder. If you are reading this, and are feeling confused, or low. I just want you to remember the following. Print it out, put it on your wall. If you feel low go back and read it again.
Try to remember that most humans are ruled by two primary emotions
Love
Fear
The psychopath not experiencing these emotions – will manipulate you by love and fear.
In the relationship
Assesment (neutral)
Seducing (love)
Gaming (alternating between love and fear)
Ruining (fear)
That is it. That is all that he does. He thinks that he is clever. But it is not., Its primeval. It is basic thinking.
He cannot experience love and fear so he either bombards you with love – or makes you feel fearful. One or the other -and sometimes he will do both at the same time, giving you conflicting messages (which leaves you feeling confused).
If you feel scared – don’t be. You have what the sociopath will never have. The ability to love and feel.
If you feel scared, well at least you feel. The sociopath does not feel. You are the one who is real.
Love yourself!!! Your worth it!! 🙂
Dating a Sociopath 
Hi there, a fantastic reminder, thank you. I hope young girls are reading this. It is so hard to give advice to others, above all when they are young and I am quite older, they think I am bitter… Somehow, now I know when something is wrong… At times, I regret the innocence of not knowing…
Do you regret the innocence of not knowing? Or regret that you now struggle to trust, and therefore to let someone fully into your life?
If the latter, I understand that one. I can’t see me ever falling in love again, as i would fear if I did, I would be rendered weak, and what might happen.
Given the choice, of not knowing, or knowing, I am really glad that I do 🙂 as hopefully it is now a lesson that I will never have to learn or go through again (I hope not) …. enough is enough – i get it!! 🙂
Yes, exactly the latter (LOL). I regret to struggle with trusting a man again. I regret that I see signs that stop me from getting closer. I also regret that I see signs in my friends’ partners and can’t tell them, and so, I wait for the inevitable to happen… this is exactly what I meant.
For me too, enough is enough and I don’t wish to learn any more 😉
Thank you for sharing this. An incredibly valuable message received with a grateful heart at the most needed time. xoxox
You are most welcome!!! I will link to you on my thank you page 🙂
Another well-said expression of words!
I have just been with one of these monsters and i was only with him for one month and in the end I had to leave in the middle of night because I started to feel fear for my life, he would go into these psychotic rages, before i left he abused me so bad for about four days, I will never forget the look in his eyes it will stay with me for life. in the end i was feeling so sick, weak and scared i thought I was loosing my mind. he had been so loving and caring and then turned into a demon, the mask they wear, that explains it. when they should be showing an emotion eg empathy they are so blank and cold, emotionless. then u realise they are not normal, he used me for some money, he was sex crazy and i was like his slave, i didn’t have anyone to talk only him cause i was away from my hometown and we only spent about twenty hours apart per week, that is how he brainwashed me so good cause he was always with me, he never left me alone, i guess he had possessed me. i had no idea about sociopaths or psychopaths and all the things I read on here just made me realise what was happening to me and saved me from having him in my life, now I pray he doesn’t try to find me. i understand these people aren’t normal humans, it is a hard concept to get my head around. I’m still a bit shocked, I think he has done some psychological damage to me from all the manipulation he had started to change my way of thinking. I went to a counsellor but she was useless and made me feel like I was weird or really stupid, when I left the session I felt worse and even more depressed
If i didn’t find your website I wouldn’t have been able to cope with this trauma, and I feel like u have just helped me through so much, I read your recovery articles everyday, i will grow from this experience and become myself again but much stronger. I definitely believe u have saved my life. Thank you. God Bless
Hi Lily, I am so pleased that you found us!! 🙂 I hope that you find a safe haven here. I am sure that every one of us can relate to what you say. The isolation, the brainwashing manipulation, control. Yes it is psychological emotional abuse and can suck the life out of you. With regard to a counsellor, it might be an idea to ask if the therapist has experience of working with people with personality disorders specifically psychopaths and sociopaths. It is important that they understand for them to to understand what has happened to you. Welcome to the site 🙂