Sociopath Test

Is the sociopath being ‘nice’, are you confused?

So, you have read lots of things on the net, and possibly books about sociopaths. You are still in a relationship with one, and you are just ‘not quite sure if your partner is or not?’, how can you tell?

As soon as you make up your mind that you are dating a psychopathic loon, he changes, and has kind eyes, and a smile. Is kind, caring, thoughtful. So, you question yourself and you wonder if perhaps you have got it wrong?

Just as you were about to pack your bags (or his), he is back to his old charming self. In fact, more so. He is back into seducing mode. The rage has gone, he is trying to win you back, so that you are dependent on him.

Other people wonder, why do you stay? (this causes isolation from friends), after all you were complaining about his behaviour last week.

Perhaps you start reading this, and as you do, and start to assert yourself, he suddenly changes into Mr Perfect again. What you are left with, is confusion.



You feel confused, because you feel you are with  two people. One whom you love, one who makes you happy, and another who is selfish, self absorbed, self  centred, who will make your life, simply an extension of his.

When going through the hearts and flowers stage, after an awful spell, when you were set to leave,  it is likely that you are going back to stage 2 –


Remember the code of the sociopath, it is ALWAYS the same (they repeat behaviour over and over).

  • Assessment
  • Seducing
  • Gaming
  • Ruining

The sociopath has already  assessed that you are not happy, and that you are likely to leave. Which would mean that he is about to lose his source of supply. So, he resorts back to seducing mode…. to keep you captive.

What can you do to discover the truth?

If you are in confusion, and you identify with so many posts on this page, but are confused, is this person actually a sociopath, as right now they are being, nice, kind, helpful, thoughtful….. one thing will test whether this person is a sociopath.

Underneath the calm facade of the sociopath mask, is an angry narcissistic person, a person who is desperate for control. A person who sees you as part of himself. He can quite easily switch back to seducing mode, to lure you back in, if he feels that his prey is about to escape. After all, a sociopath never wants to lose source for supply, not before he has another willing victim lined up.

What you need to do is the following.


If he is acting really reasonable, kind, calm, loving, seducing, hearts and flowers –   test him. Say something to him which takes away his control over you. Assert your rights, demand your freedom and your independence.

This can be ANYTHING which is for YOU, that DOESN’T include him.

The sociopath has narcissistic rages, which it cannot stop, or contain, when he feels that he is losing control. Remember that to the sociopath two things are more important than anything –

1. Winning

2. Control

IMPORTANT – This is NOT advisable for those involved with sociopaths who are violent!! If you are in a violent relationship – seek advice from a women’s aid project in your area, to leave safely. Never place yourself in danger. The ONLY advice for those in relationships with someone who is physically abusive, is to get out, but to leave in a way that is safe, and planned.

Witnessing the mask slipping

If the sociopath feels that he does not have total control over you, you will witness very quickly, the narcissist rage occur. You will see that the kind, helpful, caring, thoughtful person (that you had been telling him he wasn’t) will vanish, and in his place, will be a man who is angry, who becomes desperate for control. He will do and say anything to re-establish control over you and your life. His reaction will be very intense. This is the REAL character. This is real person, without the mask.

It really is quite that simple. If you are thinking, perhaps you have it wrong? Maybe, I was wrong? Yes, he has done bad things in the past, but he is just so nice and charming NOW – if you are thinking, maybe it was just a blip. Test him.

Confusion is simply a state of mind. Often the sociopath will do acts which deliberately confuse you. This can make you feel that that you are to blame. Nobody stays in confusion forever. So, take back the control, and test him.

In a NORMAL HEALTHY relationship, your partner will be happy for you to have a life of your own. In a normal healthy relationship, your partner will encourage you to grow.  In a healthy relationship your partner will encourage career progression and be happy for you to see friends and family and anything else which helps you to grow. A healthy partner will not feel threatened by external influences in your life.

  • A healthy relationship loves, but does not stifle
  • It cares, but does not contain
  • It offers freedom, but not restriction
  • Is honest, and not deceptive
  • Is supportive and not disruptive

If the person reacts, in a normal way, perhaps a bit of jealousy, perhaps this person isn’t a sociopath. But if you witness a full narcissistic rage, you will see exactly the person that you had witnessed before. You will be surprised to witness again the one which caused you confusion. Remember that this is the real person. This is the person inside, behind the charismatic mask. The person on the outside, the charisma, the charm, the kindness, caring, is really just an illusion.

If you are with a sociopath, who is being on his best behaviour and trying to lure you back into the relationship. If you are experiencing confusion, not really knowing is he/isn’t he? do the simple test. Press his buttons and see how he reacts. If the person is a sociopath, quickly you will witness the narcissistic rage – and you will witness the sociopath behind the charismatic mask.

Copyright 2013

120 thoughts on “Sociopath Test”

  1. I love reading all these comments, it’s a pity I didnt come across this site before I ended it so therefore I won’t be given the chance to test him. I don’t have a choice now because he’s blocked me and I’m not going go attempt to contact him! One of the last conversations went something like this (cutting it short) him to me ‘aren’t you talking to me? (Out of the blue we had said bye at least four times and had gone about 3 weeks without contact he had moved on in around three or so weeks after last sleeping with me) I replied ‘why wouldn’t I be talking to you? Apparently he had tried texting me ‘to see how you are’ but I had changed my number. After a few txt of him saying ‘remember when we did this, remember when we did that? I was waiting for you to come back from America, when you left you said to have a think about stuff and to let you know what I wanted, it was us but I never knew if u got back safe or not!’ (The night before he had hit someone for dancing with me, and I was sat in that flight in floods of tears because head called me a dirty little tramp just the night b4 for dancing with this guy, now here he was telling me he loved me not less than 12 hours later!) the day after I got back from America is when I found out about the new girl, no wonder I didn’t hear a thing off him those two weeks I was away, he was buttering up some other poor girl) I said ‘no you were not waiting for me I know u and u would have contacted me all day everyday if u had wanted to know how I was so much!’

    When we first met online and was just in the talking stage, I went away on holiday the day after, for a week and it didn’t stop the messages coming in thick and fast then, what was so different now? Someone better, a new challenge that’s whst was different! I was getting boring, he had got me hooked yes I had finished it but it didn’t mean I wanted to I just knew he didn’t really want me! there was nothing left to fight or pretend for anymore. Anyway he then goes on to say ‘Im just gonna throw it out there, I still fancy the arse off you if there’s any chance of us I want to really make us work’ and he threw me his number. I said ‘i would love to but considering you moved on in less than two weeks I can’t forgive you or believe a word you say it will never work’ he then actually replied….’what have I done?’ He seriously asked me that question!!!!! ‘How do you know it won’t work? (Is this guy for real??) I said ‘I don’t trust you and never will again, so just go back to your girlfriend’ he said ‘it’s a sham, I haven’t spoken to her in three days!’ I said ‘finish it then, cause your doing to her what you did to me, using and abusing’ he said ‘I will finish it’ the next day I see him in the car with her! a week later I get another message ‘I’m single!’ If there’s any chance of us I feel ready for a new chapter in my life without any drama’ I said ‘with you there will always be drama and again I can’t forgive you I’ll never trust you, you wouldn’t forgive me and besides I’m now seeing someone’ his reply ‘ok fair enough’ then in a separate message not a second later ‘your seeing someone?’ Me ‘yeah I am’ ‘ok I’m gonna go now cause I can feel myself getting wound up, I’ll block and delete everything of you, enjoy your fella I hope he does it for you,now it’s all about me f girls what’s the point if you can’t have who you want? Cheers I thought u were different!’ I said ‘after everything you put me through and what you did to me, you can’t expect me to sit in my bedroom and be heartbroken forever, that’s not fair a part of me will always love you’ he then asked me ‘honestly do u still want me?’ I can’t help but be honest and my reply is one I’ll always regret….’yes I do but it’s done it’ll never work’ he then said ‘ok there you go then we wanna be together but can’t, enjoy your fella. And that was it I was blocked in everything. The following week I found a note on my car wishing me a happy birthday and that he can’t stop thinking of me. I drove passed him the next day (not sure if he saw me but he looked at me he was in his car but it was dark so not sure he actually saw me or not) if he did he went the opposite way and I havent seen or heard ANYTHING since.

    I hope I got my test answered in all that long ass story though, he lied about wanting me again, when he knew he had lost control he turned a bit nasty and felt sorry for himself by saying ‘you have moved on and you’ll be happy and I’ll be forgotten’ fat chance of me ever forgetting him though, I wish I could!!!

    What does everyone else think? Did I get my answer there? Or was it just a young lad being a young lad? My story gets even more ridiculous see, I’m 29 (28 when we met) he was 23 (24 when we were seeing each other) with two very young kids. One day I will find this laughable, I really should have known better!

  2. Ahhh spoke too soon when I said I hadn’t seen or heard for a couple weeks just saw his car! Yes his car….not him his car and I’m an absolute mess! He’s literally round the corner at his moms and I’m here sobbing while my 6 year old niece is eating her tea. What the hell have I become? This is not normal.

    1. Aw diggs, its better out than in. Tears are healing. I know that this hurts right now. It must be so tough to be so close to where his mother lives.

      I know that you are hurting, but try to stay strong this, if you can get through this day, you can get through another day too!! :)

      1. I have never experienced anything like this in my life and I don’t know which way to turn. After a very very loving 9 year relationship with my ex fiancé my one and only real relationship I have never really had my heartbroken, let alone by someone like him. It’s hard, I found him so attractive, the best looking guy who’s EVER looked twice at me and I thought I had hit the jackpot. Until he steered me down a path I knew was wrong and dropping hints to colour my hair because I would look ‘hot’. AND guess what muggings here coloured her naturally blonde hair and is now in the process of getting it back to blonde from a dark dark brown. Don’t get me wrong it looked nice nit why did I do that for HIM and not for me? My hair was my pride and joy and its now so badly damaged from stripping and colouring I had to have a fair bit cut off. I was desperate after it ended to try and get me back. I have always been blonde or medium blonde and I did whatever made him happy :0( I know I’m going off on all types of subjects but today I’m having a very messed up day. If you do get a chance positive I would love to see what you think of my comment on ‘the test page’ I mention him playing the victim and feeling sorry for himself then being angry to asking me if I still want him etc the last time we spoke. Thank you so much in advance

  3. My ex-sociopath’s nick-name from me was Dr. Jekel / Mr. Hide. He was and is exactly the person described above…to the T!!!!! It took me 5 years, a black eye and an order of protection to realize how INSANE HE was and how I helped him continue in his insanity. But I am free & sane!!!! I am victorious

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