Procrastination is the biggest thief of time
Sociopath’s love to stall for time. They are the biggest thief of time. They do not have much else to do with their lives and so they love to waste your time.
I wrote in the article ‘dupers delight and the joy of conning’ about the joy that the sociopath gets from conning you. The rush of endorphins that they get from this and how addictive duping you is for them. For a sociopath, ‘stalling for time’ can offer a similar feeling.
By stalling for time, they know full well that they are not going to give you what they say, and so they are wasting your time. This gives them control over your life whilst you are waiting for them. Examples of stalling for time (and wasting your time)
1. I will get a job, and life will be like this……
2. I will pay you back by this time
3. I will do in this time….
4. I will get for you by this date…..
5. I will be paid in ? weeks
6. False empty promises of a wonderful future, that will never materialise
But these are all words. The actions will never match the words. It gives the sociopath a sense of dupers delight and they get a feeling of fun that they feel that they are conning you. This is exactly what he is doing. He is robbing you of your time, and stopping you from getting on with your life.
At the time, it probably seems absolutely pointless. ‘Why do you say these things, and make false promises’ you ask? It seems a futile exercise. It is frustrating to listen to the endless excuses, and yet more stalling for time again. Especially when you have heard it repeatedly, the same thing over. They repeat the same story of empty promises. Never showing actions which relate to the promises that they have made. So what does stalling for time achieve for them? It achieves (for them) the following:
1. Control over you
2. Control over your ability to make decisions for your own life
3. Stopping you from meeting someone else, moving on, being with other people who wont waste your time
4. Isolates you from support
5. An extension of time to use you as a supply source (for whatever they want)
Whilst you are waiting for Mr sociopath to fulfill his empty promises, you are left in suspension. Waiting for him to deliver whatever brand of goods he has promised this time. Your life is on hold. You are not moving forward.
If you spend too long with a sociopath, you will realise that in all the time that you knew him, your life has gone nowhere at all. You went round and round in circles, wasting your time and achieving nothing at all. Sociopaths are great time wasters, they waste their own time, and there is nothing that they love more, than to waste someone else’s too.
Sociopaths do not have too much in life. Because they do not feel too much, because of their lack of connections with the past, and their lack of life goals. The one thing that they have plenty of, is time. Time, is also the one thing that others have little of. Because of this, they love to waste your time. It gives the sociopath a sense of dupers delight to see how long that they can get away with it. Sociopath’s struggle with boredom. Wasting time and conning releases boredom for them. They struggle with boredom because
1. They have a lack of life goals
2. They feel little inside
3. They do not learn from past mistakes, so they do not progress
4. Their own life goes round in circles, and so it is fun to make yours go round in circles with them.
Spending time with a sociopath, will likely get you nowhere, and after a while you will realise that you are wasting your time. Not only are you wasting your time, you are also wasting your life.
Words © datingasociopath.com
9 thoughts on “Sociopaths and stalling for time”
Trust me this one time…it will never happen again.
Give me time to change…
Don’t leave me…it will be different.
Don’t divorce me…I will get counseling.
Stalling for time. Wasting my time. Screwing with my head…
They are masters at being a thief of time!! And all it does is waste your life, and if you listened to more of his lies it would only waste more of your life 😦
Can I ask you a favour Katrina, i changed my webpage last night, as old one was boring. But can I ask can you read it clearly still? The posts? As i am struggling but I do not know if it is because I have poor eyesight.
“If you spend too long with a sociopath, you will realise that in the time that you knew him, your life has gone nowhere at all. You went round and round in circles, wasting your time and achieving nothing at all.”
Wow! This is exactly what I started realizing. After three whole years in this relationship, I have absolutely NOTHING more than I had when it began. Nothing! Not even more clothes or things, just nothing haha! He did work the entire time, but so did I. AND I’ve always made more money than him! Everything that was gained during the relationship belonged to him and I had no way to recover “my share” of any of it.
It’s so awesome reading other people putting my thoughts into words and expanding on those thoughts to help me make some kind of sense of it all. Not that any of it makes sense, but at least I know now that I must be done with this relationship forever and stop hoping for something that never existed.
This last breakup I started realizing how he was leading me in circles, round and round. Everytime he’d try to start me back in the circle, I started saying “I am not going in this circle with you again!”
I think I have finally forgiven myself for my mistakes in the past. 27 years, 4 relationships, all the same, yet all different. 27 years of working and making money, sometimes really GOOD money and here I sit with NOTHING! It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I can’t change my past, so I am choosing to learn from my past *finally*. Time to start living life for me and it feels great. Even though I don’t quite know what I even want my life to be yet, I am learning to love myself again and will soon be able to have dreams and goals for my future as well. I can control my NOW and that’s what really matters 🙂
You know, I think that the biggest lesson that we learn from being with someone like this is ….
LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF!!
I used to live in this day dream land, expecting this ‘happy ever after’….. you know the stuff that your grandparents lived, that happy ever after,
After a decade of relationships which really went nowhere…… just wasting time…
I finally learned ‘trust yourself’ and ‘love yourself’….
Is that what I was meant to learn? Thanks for your comments, I love reading comments!!! 🙂
Yes all so true. I wish I knew earlier.
I am 101 days since no contact with my sociopath husband. Examples of his promises – we will have ababy soon…….. Imagine hearing this for four long years and when I was pregnant in December 2012, he secretly put abortion pills in my morning tea.
I forgave him for so many wrong doings, justified his abhorrent behaviour. Believed and believed………
Amazing! How true all this is…I wasted 6 years of constant promises and never got anything, just going in circles. Thank you for all your wonderful posts!
I know you look back and realise just how much time has been wasted 😦 I know….