Just like Alice, in the book Alice in Wonderland, when you meet the sociopath, after initially assessing to ensure that you have what they want and need, they will offer you the potion to drink. The potion is taken with trust. Thinking that you have met your perfect partner, you trust your partner – and drink the potion……. the potion contains only empty promises, and lies… as you drink…. you, your life and your world begins to shrink.
Energy sucking vampires
If you had been at a bit of a low ebb when you met the sociopath, they seem upbeat, fun, charming charismatic. Lots of fun. They can really lift your spirits and you start to feel good about you again.
Being with the sociopath initially bears all of the hallmark qualities of a potentially good and stable relationship. After all this person:
- Seems just like you
- Shares your interests and goals in life
- Appears to be very keen on you
- Is offering you exactly what you want and need
You might even be a loud person, a vibrant person. Someone who is funny, outgoing, smart, intelligent when you meet the sociopath. The longer that you are with the sociopath, the smaller you and your life will become.
Sociopaths will literally suck the life out of you. Whilst not all sociopaths will murder you and take your life, in fact most don’t. All will take your life and make you feel small.
The sociopath will attach like a limpet to all area’s of your life. It won’t be obvious to you, but trouble starts pretty much from day one. While you are looking at the person with trust, and honesty and love, they are looking at you, like prey. That is all that you are to the sociopath – prey. Once they have captured their prey, you are, according to them theirs to keep.
You are now their possession, and will be under their control. The sociopath will keep you under their control, while keeping their own life private. Likely words that you hear about their own life, will be false, fabricated and lies, or there will be a grain of true, mixed with lies. In the sociopaths mind, if you knew about them, then you would have control over them, and their life. They want to have attachment to you, but they almost certainly do not want you to have attachment to them, and their lives.
You will never be in the sociopaths life. They will only be in yours. This is how the sociopath operates.
The sociopath will after feeding you their bottle of lies, and making you feel small, will start to dominate and control you. At first you will not even be aware that your life, your world, and you, are growing smaller.
You start to feel tired and lethargic. You have no idea why. Your energy, motivation and drive diminishes. You stop seeing people, but you think that this is your choice. The sociopath becomes the center of your world. They constantly feed your comfort zone, to make you feel wonderful. They will only do this for as long as they have you captive, and they are not losing control.
It won’t be long and you will have lost full control of your life. What happens is that you literally SHRINK.
The sociopath will attack and damage ALL areas of your life.
- Socially including friends and family
- Your home
- Your work
- Your material possessions
- Your self esteem and what you believe to be true about you
By attacking all of these areas, you feel smaller and smaller. The sociopath grows bigger. You start to become dependent on the sociopath. Feeling so small, they become the vibrancy that you rely upon. If you dare to step out of line, to assert yourself, and to try to find your own energy again. The sociopath feels threatened by this, and will assert himself through control, either by threatening you, or usually by false accusations and allegations. You then spend so much time defending yourself, that whatever it was that you were trying to do for you -is quickly forgotten. The attention is back on the sociopath once more.
Life becomes crazy when you are in the relationship with a sociopath. At first you will wonder why so many things are going so wrong? You don’t understand, why are you being so unlucky? You feel smaller and smaller. At first you are still holding onto the the strength of you, and your life. The sociopath WILL take EVERYTHING from your life – if you let them.
You hope that perhaps things will get better. The sociopath is attracted to drama, and have a need to be center of attention. Just as you recover from one drama, there is another, then another, and another. Things never seem to get BETTER. They won’t either.
You could be with the sociopath for many years. Nothing gets better. Nothing ever changes. All that does change, is that the longer you are with them, to more that you lose. You could lose:
- Your job
- Your home
- Material possessions
- Social connections
There are many victims, who continued to stay in the crazy world with the sociopath, and their lives grew smaller. As you grow smaller, and your world becomes smaller, it is more difficult to leave.
The sociopath loves to take from you, and then play rescuer to you. To act as your salvation, the person who can save you. When realistically they are the one who is deliberately causing damage to your life.
Betrayal is the worst kind of feeling. It is where you feel stabbed both in the heart and the back at the same time. The sociopath betrays you with lies in the very beginning and will continue to betray you throughout the relationship. Nothing will prepare you for the depths of betrayal that will emerge when the relationship has ended.
As the relationship winds to an end, you start to uncover lies. Which uncover more lies, and you you realise that nothing was true. You feel empty, used, abused and just an empty shell of the person that you once were.
Establish NO CONTACT
When you let go…. you start to grow…..
Copyright datingasociopath.com 2013