All sociopaths are different. Some wait for the perfect prey, others simply target someone that has previously been victimised and is vulnerable, or lonely.
If you have been through a rough time before, and seek to find another relationship to feel better and get over the hurt and pain of the last one – STOP!!!
Take a deep breath, and take a step back, as you are the perfect target for a sociopath.
Online dating is a perfect place for meeting a sociopath. Remember the four things that sociopaths do:
Making the assessment stage easy
On line dating, is for the sociopath, easy pickings. After all, what difficulty is there in the assessment if you have already told him everything about you in your profile? Your dating profile has clearly highlighted your needs, wants and wishes. In your about me, you write who you are, what you enjoy, things that are important to you. You might have photos of the things that are important to you. You write your hobbies and interests. There ARE sociopaths who will rewrite their own profile to match yours, so that they seem like the perfect partner, and can quickly pick you up, faking to be the perfect partner for you.
If you are looking for a soul mate and your perfect match, who better to be that perfect match than a sociopath? The sociopath can effectively mirror to be anyone that they wish to be, if it looks like you are offering what they wish to take.
Of course, not all people on on line dating sites are predators, or sociopaths. But, realistically, it is the most obvious place to meet one. There is no face to face contact. They can seduce you by email, move to phone quickly, love bomb you, and ensure that your profile is quickly taken off.
Relationship moves quickly
The sociopath will likely cast their net out wide, sending numerous emails. Who will be the lucky winner? Who is most receptive to his deception? Will it be you?
Bingo, he targets, he scores, and you respond – it’s a winner…. However, the sociopath doesn’t like competition. After a very short period of contact, the sociopath will try to close the deal, to make you exclusive to them, and only them (they don’t want anyone else trampling over their sentimental property).
Further manipulation occurs, to let you know just how ‘special’ you are to them, they try to get another way to contact you, often this is to add you to Facebook, or get your phone number. Once they have removed you from the dating site, they can then begin the next move, EXCLUSION. They tell you that you are so special, they think they have found the one, and have closed their profile on the dating website. This will make you feel obliged to remove your own. You might not have made a decision that he or she is the right one? After all, you haven’t really got to know each other, yet, he/she seems incredibly interested in you. This feels good. You might have numerous mail from other people. But the sociopath wants to ensure that you are theirs and that nobody else will steal you. The motive, is not because you are so special. The motive, is to take you off the market.
He will ask for your number, and your social networking details. He will say something like”‘there are lots of other photos of me on there”, or “I have real friends and family on there” With Facebook, he can glean even further information from you. Making his work of assessment easy. He can then quickly move onto the seduction stage. You will feel swept off of your feet, and your head is spinning, you feel sure that you have met someone very special, you believe that you have met a real true soul mate connection (fancy the chances huh?)
Keep yourself safe online. Keep your correspondence online. Until you are sure. Do not move to other social networking pages or anywhere that gives further information about you, before you are ready. Otherwise, you could find yourself thinking you have fallen in love with with someone before you have even met.
Ask yourself these following questions
- Is this moving fast
- Has he asked for phone number, social networking, keen to meet up before you are ready?
- Does he seem to have so much in common with you?
- Is his profile almost a mirror image of your own?
- Does he seem to say virtually nothing wrong?
- Does it feel like you have known him for a lifetime, perhaps many lifetimes?
- Is he exactly what you have listed in your profile, a perfect match for you?
- When you meet does he seem EXACTLY (in terms of personality) the same as he was online?
- Does he try to stay over at yours when you meet?
These things could be an indication of a genuine love connection. However, the BIGGEST indicator, is if you meet in real life, and they are IDENTICAL to the person that you have talked to online. Normally it isn’t like this. Normally people are a bit different to the person that you thought you were talking to online. As the sociopath is deceptive and faking who they are, when you meet, they will be (if their photos are clear), EXACTLY who you thought you were talking to online. This is the biggest tell tell giveaway.
- Go careful online, don’t give too much information about yourself away.
- Don’t move to exclusivity and be taken off of the market, if you are not sure that this is what you want.
- Know what you want.
- Verify that the person is who they say that they are.
- Make sure that you meet their family and friends, again to verify who they are (not meeting anyone connected to them, is a huge red flag).
- Make sure that you meet in a public space
- If you do add them to your social networking account, ensure that you have privacy settings. A sociopath WILL go through your timeline to find further information about you, prior to meeting
- Take things SLOWLY – if it is genuine and the right connection, this person will wait for you!
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