If you have read my work, or anybody else’s work, you would know that going NO CONTACT and keeping to the No contact rule is very important for healing and recovery. However, trying to do No contact with a psycho can be difficult if:
- They don’t want to let you go
- You have something that they want from you
- They are waiting for a big payout
- They want to metaphorically ‘kill you off’
I am unsure if you have children with them, if they can do this? Perhaps you can let me know?
It was valentines day when I saw the above picture. I was looking at some anti valentines pictures for the Facebook page. When I saw it, I laughed so hard. I laughed probably for 20 minutes, as whoever did this, had probably dated a Sociopath.
Retaining ownership possession and control
Sociopaths work hard to groom and control their victims. I will give them that, they don’t just pick up someone off the streets, any person and use them for a bit. Well I guess they could, but a true victim, is chosen deliberately. It is like a KERCHING jackpot moment for them, when they find somebody who would be willing to give them what they want.
It can feel like a special connection when you first meet them. They work hard to:
- Assess you
- Groom you
- Manipulate you
- Control you
- Retain you
This is very hard work indeed. I do recall when we split. He was standing outside my house yelling ‘YOU’RE MINE, YOU’RE MINE’ I think he really meant it too. You see when a Sociopath puts all of this into you. In their mind, they actually own you. You are now a part of them. If you try to leave, when they have not decided that they have finished with you. Particularly if there is a bigger prize that they have not yet received (like an awaited inheritance). Trying to go No Contact is going to be HELL.
Getting their own way – the craziness behind the mask of sanity
I remember some people as they read my work in earlier years, going nuts, when I said that I had ‘heard from him’.
Why are you not going no contact?
Would come yells from the masses. Or at least, it would feel that way. You see, the truth is, I did go no contact. Or at least I tried. The above picture is accurate. Psychos are like a virus, they try to infiltrate and infect every area of your life. There is no hiding. Not if they want to obtain and own you. They will hunt you down. Just like a predator hunts it’s prey. No it is not flattering.
While the post about No Contact is the right way to do it. Today, I can do no contact. He has moved on, and he doesn’t hunt me down anymore. I am today free. It wasn’t always that way. For many years I was in a legal case. The legal case ran on years. He knew that there could be a big settlement for him. In his mind he had worked very hard to
- Take you
- Own you
- Groom you
- Possess you
You belong to them. Even if they do not want you. They don’t want anyone else to have you.
If I put a block on my phone. Well he could show up at my house. Standing outside shouting and yelling so all the neighbours would hear. Usually this would be also shouting profanities as well marring my character (even if his words were not true – the neighbours do not know that). Shouting would be things like:
- You slut you whore (you cheated on me – you are immoral)
- You have committed fraudulent activity (you cannot be trusted – you are dishonest)
- Moralistic – (You committed some crime)
It would always be scale 10 on terrible behaviour that would destroy your credibility with the neighbours. Who would think that you were somebody you were not. Keen not to upset the neighbours, you finally relent and they get their way.
Infecting your life like a virus
I remember on Sociopath World forum, there was a self proclaimed psycho who called himself ‘virus’. I often thought, and felt, this is exactly how it is.
When you try to do no contact with a psycho who does not want to let you go, they will do ANYTHING to reach you. This is about
- Keeping the connection
- Keeping the power
- Keeping the control
- Not giving you time to think about anyone else
- Making sure nobody else gets or wants you
If you don’t have time to think. You don’t have time to escape. Aside from running away, fleeing for your life (a bit drastic as they will eventually move on), the sociopath WILL hunt you down, ANYWAY that they can. If you try to block their number.
It is for this reason that I suggest placing an app on your phone for the calls/texts/messages to go to. By doing this they ‘think’ they are doing the above points. But in reality you get to keep your peace and sanity.
Contacting by phone and showing up at your house is only two of the ways that they will try to harass you. There are many others. These are some of the few I experienced.
- Messaging you via your eBay account. If you try to block, they make another eBay account. You can report them to eBay which will eventually stop the harassment, but this can take some time. Fortunately, today eBay make it a lot more difficult to set up numerous accounts, due to fraudulent activity.
- Following you on YouTube, and replying to any comments you have made.
- If you have a Facebook work page (as I do, to this site), sending a message to the page. This one is slightly more problematic, as you can set up numerous Facebook accounts (I blocked 14 of his Facebook accounts). These were blocked in 2012 alone. I have no idea how many more he had. He would also ‘add’ people to my friends list when we were together, if I left the room. (no you are not paranoid, they do actually do this).
- Wattsapp messages
- Viber Messages
- If you are on a dating site, sending you messages there
- Making sure that word will get to you, that they are going to phone your employer, your children, your parents
- If you are members of groups, going there to ‘expose you’. If you are member of a page for a hobby, interest, activity that you enjoy. Going there to ‘expose you’ – basically tell lies about you, to ruin your reputation.
- Send mass email messages to your friends and associates, making false claims about you, claiming to be victim. Exposing you for something you have not done. I know mine sent 85 email messages. He copied this and pasted repeatedly over my Facebook wall before I had deleted 14 accounts. He copied and pasted and placed on nights of places that I went to.
- Confide in somebody that you trust, build a support network. Keeping you isolated is what gave the Sociopath dominance and control over you in the first place.
Anything at all. If you can think of it, or even if you can’t think of it, they will hunt you down to
- Make false allegations (claim to be victim of you)
- Expose you for something you have not done
- Keep you in fear
- Keep you in a state of anxiety
- Make you panic
- Ruin your reputation
- Isolate you from others
- Keep you small, minimised, and therefore easier to control
What to do if this is happening to you?
So this is happening to you. You are trying to escape the clutches of earth bound Satan, and your life is getting worse. If you think your life is already falling apart, hell, earth is on fire now.
How you respond to this, really depends on your level of awareness of what is happening to you. By the level of anxiety and fear that this places upon you, hopefully you will know that this is BAD. This not someone who is in LOVE with you.
What is happening to you, is emotional abuse. Where you live will change what your rights are and what you can do about it.
- Speak to the police. Report it. Keep reporting to the police. Do not correspond with them.
- Remove whatever it is that they want from you (if you can)
- Get an injunction order against them to keep them away from you
- Avoid mutual friends, be aware they will be poisoning that water too
- Speak to people very close to you. People who love you, if you have those people in your life. Be aware that people will likely make judgements. After all, is it not normal to think ‘no smoke without fire’. Those who love you will want what is best for you.
- Get professional therapeutic help
- If you are religious PRAY (I did this. I prayed to God he would be moved away, he finally moved out of my city, 2 weeks later) After four very long years of hell.
Understand that this will not go on forever. Involving the police might work. But be aware that this could cause them to make false allegations against you. If you have children with them, and have to see them, please see this post as you will need to manage if you cannot escape. Speaking to the police places the relationship between sociopath and the police. Not you.
- Keep all evidence, you might need it later in a legal case
- This type of behaviour is stalking and harasment. It is a criminal offence in many countries. Get the law onto your side
Most importantly – BREATH – you are going to be ok. Take deep breaths, know that this will not last forever. Take back your control. You have more power than you realise. They deliberately keep you disempowered, this is just another of their tricks to own, dominate and control you.
All rights reserved copyright datingasociopath.com 2017