It’s the ultimate con… !
Have you ever wondered, ‘how did I get here?’ ….. Do you remember the strong person that you once were? Do you remember the person that you were prior to meeting him and wonder? Just how did this happen? When did it happen? How did I allow this to happen? HOW did I deserve this? 
It is easy to think that this is your fault. You need to realise, that it is not your fault. The sociopath operates a mind trick, the quick con that anybody could fall for.
- He will ask a lot of questions in the beginning – which lead you to believe that he is interested in you. You then tell him the GOOD side of you (who doesn’t?)
- The trick is to repeat BACK to you, what you have already said, when you were outlining the good side of you. So, he is simply repeating back to you what YOU ALREADY KNOW!
It’s really that simple. In your own mind, because the sociopath is telling you something that you already know about yourself. You feel a sense of trust.
Remember all those probing questions? The sociopath is observant. He notices everything. When he is asking you questions, he registers what your response is. By being observant, he will notice:
- When you respond with sadness
- When you respond with anxiety
- When you respond with anger
- When you talk hopefully about your future
It is the ultimate con. By registering your emotions, and your responses, the sociopath is then able at a later date to seduce, manipulate and abuse you.
Now he knows exactly how to pull your strings. If he wants to get you back on side (in case you are about to run, or expose him) all he needs to do is to repeat back to you, something that you think is true about yourself, that you think is nice about yourself. Worse, at the end, when he feels there is nothing more to use you for, and you cannot do him further damage, he operates a smear campaign – using all of your weaknesses. He would have already noted when you were alarmed, angry or frightened by registering your responses to questions.
To the sociopath – you are NOT a PARTNER – you are a tool to be used!
You are then lured into this sense of false security and the whole bull about ‘soulmates’ where you are convinced that HE is the ONLY person who truly understands you.
This leads you to believe that you have met what is your ‘soul mate’ someone else who sees the inner you, the way that you see yourself.
It is all a fake. It wouldn’t have occurred to you, that you were playing part in a con trick. You had been conned. The sociopath sees you as stupid. You are not stupid. You are NORMAL!! It’s normal to be able to talk to someone without them using that information against you at a later date. The sociopath will use a thread of truth, mixed with total lies to ruin your name. It is normal to trust. It is normal to feel. It is normal to want – that happy ever after. That is absolutely normal. If it wasn’t what did we watch our own parents and grandparents do? It is what we are (most of us) raised to believe is NORMAL!
To you, trust is earned, simply because you THINK you have met someone who knows you better than anyone has ever known you. But, realistically, it is just a con and a trick. It’s not personal against you. They don’t have the normal behaviours that other human beings have. They get away with it, as people have not been aware of them before. If it wasn’t you, it would have been someone else (just as someone else will be the victim after you are) this person leaves a trail of disaster behind them. They won’t accept responsibility for their own actions, and they don’t care about who they hurt in the process of getting what they want. There is (to them) no expense of others, as they cannot understand others point of view, only their own. They are too selfish to think of anyone else.
So, if you ever get to the point where you ask yourself ‘how did this happen?’ the answer is you were conned – you were manipulated – and if it wasn’t you, there would have been someone else.
The most important thing to remember, is that although you might hurt, what you have learned? And this learning, this experience will help you in the future. The truth shall always set you free!!
Dating a Sociopath 
I have too been scorned by a conman and got some very satisfying revenge. (As documented in my blog post my ‘my revenge on a conman’) The really satisfying thing is someone who was wary of him googled him and found out what he was like through my blog. I wish I could ensure it would fall into the lap of any woman he comes into contact with for the rest of his shameful life. But I can’t and it felt so good to finally be able to just let go of all that bitterness and walk on.
Hey good for you!! It never occurs to them that someone will get one back on them! I split with him 9 months ago, and got my own back so many times, I lost count – ironically we did get on – as friends anyway. A con person literally is… and they never change. Am glad that you got revenge – bet that felt good! 🙂 am presuming he didn’t know?
He did know. I set him up and turned up to laugh in his face. Now he knows what it feels like to be conned. Yes, they never change… there is no apparent cure for sociopaths/pathological liars, but from my understanding it stems from one lie that they never want to reveal until it grows so big that it consumes their life. They live in a shadwo, never wanting anyone to find out who they really are, the truth they bury deep within the core of themselves. Good for you for seeing the light and moving on. xx
I don’t like to wish bad things on strangers, but I could have done without the lessons I learned in my relationship. I wish he would have picked someone else.
This post and website is absolutely AMAZING! Thank you so much for this post and creating the blog site. I am 22 years old and I believe i was almost caught up with a sociopath. I was a member of a forum last year when i was 21, and when i was logged on, some male member private messaged me out of no where. He must have read my “about me” on my profile. I also had a blog on there (now deleted) where i discussed my trust issues with people. So i’m sure he read that and thought i was young and vulnerable and he thought he could “snag me”. I knew in the back of my mind that he was full of it, but i played the game anyway. He started off asking me questions and i answered nicely. He kept telling me how i’m “perfect” and how he thinks i’m beautiful ( he never seen a pic of me!).
Now with all of this I knew what he was up to, but for some reason i played along. He tried to twist my words and put words in my mouth. He said things like ” i just wish i had a sweet girl like you”. After our conversation, we both logged off. The next week, we were talking again, and once again, he kept up his “good guy, i’m here for you” persona. I kept playing the game. Then he said he’ll talk to me 3 months. 3 months passed by and we talked again. This time he was being rude and not caring about my feelings. He was like ” that’s life kiddo”, and other childish names. Then when i didn’t respond to how he wanted, he quickly changed the subject and tried to tear me down. He was very sarcastic. We ended the conversation and he told me to email him. I said “ok”. And guess what? I never did email him! It’s been a year and I never logged back onto that site again! I bet he’s pissed, but i think i dodged a bullet! I truly believe he was a sociopath and he was showing his true colors during our last conversation.
Reblogged this on Mumma D – just another mother?.
Thank you for sharing!! 🙂