Once the sociopath has you where they want you (in love, weak and dependent), they begin to disarm you and remove you from other sources of life, that he cannot control.
Control is what the sociopath strives for. By controlling you, he has what he determines as ‘love’, or at least it is the closest that he will get to love. To the sociopath, control, and ownership, is love.
You will find that later in the relationship, the kind, charming, very helpful person that you knew changes.You see a different character. But this is done in a subtle way at first, to make you feel guilty for any other connections in your life – apart from him. You are made to feel that YOU are the one with the problem. YOU are the one who is doing something wrong, even though you have done nothing wrong at all.
- Will feel threatened by close friends, even work colleagues and sometimes family too
- Will keep close tabs on you at work
- Will call you at work, or constantly call and text if you are spending time with someone else without him, you will feel pressured to respond to the text or call, as soon as possible. If you don’t there will be a deluge of further texts
- Will go as far as to speak to those who you are having contact with to ‘warn them off’ of you (this will be done behind your back) or to your face, will threaten that they will do this, instilling fear into you of what comes next?
- Will make you feel guilty if you spend any time with anyone other than him – and will accuse you of outrageous things – you will get comments like – ‘oh you are wearing that’ or ‘you have make up on, did you make yourself up on purpose?’
- Will tell you, if you do make plans, that they will show there too (after all they have a right to be there too)
- Will go to great lengths to play ‘obsessive spy’ to find out information about anyone in your world. Its really ridiculous, to the point of obsession.
Applying constant pressure, is effective, as after a while, you will stop contact with others. It’s easier than the constant accusations thrown at you. Or at least, this is the way that you feel, until it is over.
This is how isolation occurs. It is sold to you under the guise of ‘care’ of ‘helping you’…. but its not this at all. Its control. Control to the sociopath, is ownership. Like owning a dog. Since when did you see a dog go off and have a life of its own?
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