What I learned from Dating a Sociopath Psychopath


You are going to heal.

You are going to recover.

You will get better.

You are not forever damaged.

Who they are. Is NOT a reflection of who you are.

You did not deserve this.

You are not a bad person.

Psychos are EVIL. They deliberately target and disarm their victims. The longer that you stay with them, the more that your life will fall apart.

Psychos deliberately keep their victims in a continual state of turmoil and trauma, stress, and anxiety. While at the same time, topping them up, with reassurance, that they are the ones that you need to feel better. It is all a con. Like everything about them.

Let go of those who did not believe in you, while the psycho was on a ruining smear campaign rampage. Psychos do all they can to make you the most unpopular person in the village. Your real friends will be there and will believe in you. Learn to know the difference between those who withdrew because they cared about you, and it hurt them to see you hurt, and those who withdrew because you were not giving to them. Equally, learn to know who was there because they thrived off of drama and gossip, and those who were there because they cared and wanted to be a support by your side. Let go of excess baggage.

It might feel like your life has been ruined and drastically changed. This could be true. It is more likely however that what has been changed is your perception. You can change your perception back. Even if you have children with them, bring the power back to you.

Material possessions and financial losses are not important.

It is better to be on your own than be with a psycho for the rest of your life.

Being FREE is the best feeling in the world. You will not realise what a hell hole you were in, until you escape. For good, for real. I mean really escape, in that you don’t really give a shit what they are doing. You don’t want to know as you don’t want anything more to do with them. Yes this time will come for you too.

What you went through was not wasted time. You will have learned essential life skills you did not have before. Go you, you survived being with a psycho, there is little you cannot survive. Some people end up dead – this is blunt, but the truth. First time I had sex with the psycho, he put his hands around my throat…. I asked him to stop, looking back, I now realise how lucky I was.

We choose our life lessons before we are born. Even if it does not make sense to you now, one day, no doubt it will.

If you really are struggling, please please see a professional therapist. It really can help, to have someone listening to you, who is not going to abuse you further. A professional therapist is safer for you, while you heal, than another relationship with another psycho. Yes people meet more than one in a row. Heal YOU first.

You are beautiful. You are kind. If you weren’t the psycho would not have been interested in you in the first place.

It might all seem to be about loss, but what you gained is your story. This makes you a more interesting individual, also a happier version of you, as you can look back and think ‘thank god I am not with that psycho anymore’.

I am glad you made it out alive. Please don’t give up. Please don’t be sad. Your life, is only just beginning, even if you cannot see it now. One day you will look out of the window see blue sky, sunshine, warmth and the beauty of the world. I promise you will.

Hang in there if you met one at the time of bereavement of someone you loved. I know it can be absolutely devastating, soul destroying, and worse, is that while the psycho masked the grief, you now have to deal with that pain too. If this is you, cry, let it all out, but please don’t return because it was easier than dealing with your grief. Go through it, grieve it, write about it, paint, draw, anything to get your feelings out, but never go back. You can’t put a temporary band aid onto a deep core soul wound and expect it to stay permanently better.

You are going to be ok. You are going to be more than ok. You are going to be brilliant. Eventually, one day, when you are ready. I promise you will, and if you are struggling to see this right now – just hang in there. Please hang in there. Don’t be afraid. Nothing can harm you now. You are safe.

Heal. Peace. Love to you.


The truth will set you free!

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