As I am female and hetrosexual, most of my post are written using the context of ‘he’ although as many male readers understand what I write can equally apply to female sociopaths.
Today I wanted to write a post about female sociopaths.
What is the difference between male and female sociopaths?
Honestly? The most obvious answer is SOCIETY. That is the biggest difference. Historically, men were expected to pay for everything. So, for the female sociopath life was relatively easy. Which is probably why most respected pieces of work, say that there are less female sociopaths than male.
But lets look at this from a realistic point of view. From a historical point of view and from the role of men and women historically in society. Historically:
- The man went to work and supported the woman
- The man was the provider
- The woman was known to be more manipulative and emotional than the man
This is a role reversal from men in society and what the expectations are of them. Men are supposed to be the breadwinners, to keep their woman.
If you look at it like that, female sociopaths have had it relatively easy. They are protected by society, and old fashioned values and what is expected from men and women in a relationship. Imagine that for a woman, her source of supply that she needs is a roof over her head, and money?
It is relatively easy to win that from a man. Nobody would bat an eyelid at it. After all, she is doing what keeps a man happy. Offering him sex, using him for his money. Getting free food and free accommodation. She is set up for life and has a free meal ticket.
Reverse this situation. The man moves in with a woman, fakes his credentials, and ultimately the woman ends up paying for the man. This is more horrifying to society than what the female counterpart is doing. But is it really?
What do female sociopaths do?
- All sociopaths have a high sex drive – so she will use sex as a tool to lure the man in
- She will play victim to her past
- She will be looking for a rescuer (to pay for her)
- She will offer a bright and amazing future to her male counterpart
The sad truth is, both parties can be happy. A man sees it as his role to provide for his partner, or at least many have been brain trained historically that this is the right thing to do. The gaslighting, can just be viewed as ‘female manipulation’. Men are grateful to have a woman that constantly demands sex. And the male counterpart feels that he has a ‘trophy wife’ on his arm. After all they are so charismatic, and get on with everyone, so popular, everyone else wants her….. men love to have something which is seen as ‘special’, something that other people want.
So, where does it all go wrong, with the female counterpart, and why is not reported as much?
It goes wrong when the female counterpart runs off with someone else. Or after she has the children kicks the man out, keeping the house and children and everything in the house. If she is really lucky if she has done her homework well, she will also get maintenance payments from the man.
But nobody objects to this, after all this is what the man is supposed to do?
This is the main difference between male and female sociopaths. Society is what makes it different. Expectations within society of the male and female role. Of seeing the male as the provider, and the woman as nurturer, after all, we know that sociopaths can be very charismatic. And can play the role of ’nurturer’ and ‘carer’ very well indeed.
The male feels that he has nobody to talk to about this. After all. He has been played, financially it has cost him a lot. And his ‘perfect woman’ is now off doing her own thing. Society encourages this.
If the male is upset and hurt, the female sociopath will use this against the male, he is the bitter ex. He should get over it.
It is more shocking when a woman has been conned by a male sociopath, as society sees it as unnatural. Afterall the man should be paying for the woman, treating her as a princess.
The female sociopath relies heavily on sex as a seduction and offering the trophy wife status to the male. Which males, wanting to impress buy….
There is little difference between the male and female types. This is why I write about sociopaths in general, and for ease of writing I use the word he. It is simply easier to write.
What do you think? Are there any males reading this? Do you agree with this? Or am I totally wrong?
305 thoughts on “Female sociopath”
I have spent five years asking the same question; what was the truth? Looking back I found a couple of things:
1. They will blame people of things they actually do themselves. Watch out for the ‘I hate drama’ statement. Usually means they excel at it.
2. You do feel incredibly exhilarated or sad when you normally do not feel these ways.
3. ‘They get you’ and ‘never felt more connected’ are common. Mine was also that ‘I would have made sure you have that by now’. I thought that this was a soul mate then when she was no longer around I felt like that the person I put at such a value found me unworthy. (See the hijacking of dreams. This is not JUST a male thing.)
4. There always seems to be a reason that they cannot do something; but that the inconvenience is unusual. You begin to realize that the ‘unusual’ is the usual. I now see this for what it was; she did not require anything more from me at the moment so to see me or be there for me was not necessary. You find that you are trying to be justified in their eyes.
5. You feel like your soul is no longer good. I know I questioned my entire moral compass.
6. Depression. Not necessarily sadness but apathy. Did that sporting event you lived for before seem to be unimportant now? Think about why those values have suddenly changed.
I wound up being so very confused throughout the time I was around. I kept having the question as to whether it was real 30 years earlier then I found the same thing today.
I came to a thought. If she told ‘the truth’ then would I really believe it? I know I would so want to. That led me to the next thought; could I discern the truth from her? Probably not.
I allowed mine to put me in a psychiatric hospital – and even there she would come and create havoc
Incredible, they have no shame.
How did you end up in the psychiatric hospital?
@positivagirl – I allowed myself to be caught up in the one thing she was a master of creating – chaos and a false reality! She wore me down over a period of months. The more of my self esteem she compromised the more my mental health suffered. Over time charming, sweet, introverted, attentive, and empathetic become callousness, hostile, manipulative, extroverted. Completely unaccountable and irresponsible. Obsessed with male attention and sex. At the end of the relationship she had a complete disregard for boundaries and I’d lost my way completely. Eventually even the psychiatric hospital wasn’t safe – she would come to hospital for sex and her manipulation become unbearable. Her ex husband tried to Kill himself many times and also ended up in psychiatric care. I’m convinced that her aim and intention was to have a man commit suicide as the ultimate act of infatuation with her. I’ve no doubt she is creating chaos elsewhere. Her condition is pervasive and lifelong. What I’ve learnt is that she will always be unfulfilled because she will never experience love, empathy and compassion. She will never build deep and meaningful friendships. She has no depth and looks ultimately fade over time and what are you left with ? Nothing. A life not well lived. No matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise
Gosh, it sounds like you have been through a lot. Are you free from her now? Yes, you are right. She will not change. But life is a game to her. How long have you been free?
@positivagirl I don’t think you’re ever truely free. They build such a perfect illusion of what you so desperately desire out of a partner. For every low there is also a massive high and you end up looking for that same high in others. For me the release was bumping into her on the way to a client meeting. I looked down at her talking to me and I felt nothing but disgust. As I said looks ultimately fade. When all you have to rely on is character, values, sense of humour and personality you realise your addiction to this person was purely superficial. When you no longer find them attractive their grip is ultimately released. When she would come to the hospital she would tell me that my illness was cute. Endearing. Well she is no-longer cute. She’s just a very nasty piece of work.
This is what I’m doing, and it is going out to approximately 200 of her facebook friends.
I know she’s your friend, she’s also a monster, a genuine narcissistic sociopath, one who targets men, promises forever, and says things like you see here, followed by what you see later.
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She had at least one other relationship going on while we were “planning” our wedding. To top it off, she used God, and my faith to manipulate from day 1. I know u don’t believe me, but I don’t care, because eventually someone is going to be willing to connect the dots. She approached me saying the Holy Spirit drew her to me, followed by 18 months of superlatively making forever promises, then 4 months of “unsaying” everything she said, and I hadn’t changed at all, because the whole of the 22 months she constantly said “I love you” “you’re such a great guy” “I know you really love me” She said God said you’re the one.
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Along with “God made me specifically for you” :God made you specifically for me”, and while all this is going on she demands the most deviant depraved sex, both on skype, and when I flew from CA to OH 7 times in 16 months. She is incapable of normal human attachment, or monogamy, and she lied about her ex, as she lied to him, and told him 2 of the 3 kids were his, who actually belonged to one of the men she was regularly subjecting herself to in group sex settings, unprotected, all of her kids are from different men, and her ex husband doesn’t believe any of them are his. There is a reason her mom and sister were trying to get custody while she was in prison. She has everyone fooled, and it was only because I came forward about our double life, that she decided to toss me away like used tissue.
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She doesn’t stop, I’m not even sure she could if she wanted to, but I’m going to stop her. She intentionally raised my stress b level to critical by blaspheming the God she says she loves so much. She doesn’t know God, because she has no conscience, she love bombs God, just like she love bombs all her targets to get them addicted to her. She cannot tell the truth, and everyone in her life is disposable. I can prove everything I say. When a person says “God told me _______” it is called rhema, but it has to line up with the Bible. She was giving God credit for saying the opposite of what the Bible says, and that is blasphemy. I’ve become friends with 2 of her exes, and will be hearing from a 3rd shortly. All the stories are basically the same, except for her husband, she married him, but was NEVER faithful, and constantly telling horrific lies about him, including saying he molested his kids, yet she said she didn’t report it. That’s because it never happened, but just as she’s told everyone I’m lying about congestive heart failure brought on by her intentionally raising my stress b for attention. I wish I was. She said the guy before me gave her hep b, or God did, but the fact is she contracted hep from sharing rigs shooting dope. she also is still using, not sure if she shooting, but I know she’s snorting norcos, subs, whatever she can get, and she guilted me out of my vicodin I was prescribed for dental work, yet she’s working towards a degree to counsel drug addicts. I don’t need to lie, my doctor’s haven’t given me a great prognosis. and I’m due for a heart attack anytime. The fact anyone could intentionally fake love and a future with someone, because it’s how they get their kicks is fucked up, but the fact the sociopath wants u dead so u can’t expose them is sick. Now she’s got other victims, in fact I hear she’s engaged, so u just watch if this is the case, how she goes from idealizing him, to questioning the relationship as far as ya’ll are concerned, but she’ll say nothing to him, while she begins telling ya’ll he’s either abusive or controlling, when in fact she has total control over everyone and everything in her life. It’s the only way she can make sure she’s not exposed. She surrounds herself with women less attractive, as she must always be the center of everything. I’ve seen her go from smiling horny girl into a raging lunatic because she’s trying to get her nut while on skype together, and one of those kids she’s left in the living room for 3 hours spilled something, or needs something.
Here’s the thing, we can believe a virgin gave birth, we can believe a man was raised from the dead, we say we believe the Bible when it talks about demon possession, and we say we believe what the Bible says about wolves in sheep’s clothing, but when confronted with it, because we’re so sure we know this person, and they’re far too nice, and harmless to ever be anything like this; Is the devil thought to be wearing a cape, and have horns, and a red pointed tail, or is it like the Bible says; if possible even the elect would be fooled? She was horribly abused as a child, and blamed for the abuse, and sworn to secrecy. Her mom is a malignant narcissist, and I think u know about how justin got brain damaged, right? According to her, her dad used to actually punch her, when she was wanting only for daddy’s love, he’d punch her, and she said her mom would stand there and say; “you need to stop Richard, you’re going to kill her.” She said she remembers seeing the blood spray from her face across the floor. You can do it now, or you can do it later, but eventually someone is going to have to simply connect the dots. She says she’s on disability ssdi for bipolar/schizophrenic, WRONG, they don’t pay for that, and she would also be required medication by the state. There is no medication for anti social personality disorder, and is immediate grounds for SSDI, her good friend of many years, cindy said she’s an amazing liar, and this is because sociopaths have no conscience, and it’s when they tell the truth they’re uncomfortable. If u’ve known her long, u know she spent more time at hill top than not, I don’t know what she was like with people as a adolescent, but I know she’s always had a problem with authority, because she had behavioral conduct disorder, and this is the first sign of ASPD, she seduced her brother in law at 14, and others that know the whole dynamic in the family believe there was incestuous activity from early on, and the entire family history is shrouded in secrecy. She’s had problems with drugs, crime, and relationships her whole life, and she is incapable of forming normal attachments, and that is why she is able to go from God made me specifically for u. to “you are nothing to me.” and be unaffected, she cannot love. She is only capable of rage, jealousy/envy, and wanton lust, and can NEVER get enough, and this is especially true during ovulation and her period. She talks shit and maligns absolutely everyone in her life, including pastors she says she respects and looks up to. This also includes you Crystal. Whether it’s unprotected sex, running dope with a cook, driving too fast, juggling 3 or more relationships, passing off bad checks, she lives a life of risky behavior. She’s bragged to you, just as she has me about things she’s done, whether u realize it or not. Many times when she tells stories, as u know she loves to do, she’ll paint herself as a hero or a victim, when in fact she was the perp. As u know she is the most amazing chameleon, and what she did to me is something only sociopaths do, it’s called future faking, and u can learn more here. I’m going to stop now, because u probably won’t read half of this, just know this, less than 2 years ago she said I hung the moon, and I’m the same sweet, kind genuine patient person I was then, and I only came forward about us, because she acted like she was so distraught about it, then disappeared for 5 days, to go fuck who knows how many, but she made the mistake of making plans with me forthe following day. I believed she was everything she painted herself as, but I had no idea she already had other fuck buddies on and off of skype. Since I began my detective work, I’ve found out so many things that have made me run to get every std test they offer, and as she’s gone on business as usual, and I’m not even a thought, except to feign concern, saying I’m crazy and need to be on medication, and is just as happy as a lark, she somehow claims to be the victim in all this. i on the other hand, almost lost my job, my home, my savings are all but gone, my health is compromised, and I have complex post traumatic stress disorder, and narcissistic abused victim syndrome, and the prognosis there could also be life long, as is the congestive heart failure. Not to mention the fact the idea of opening my heart to anyone ever again, under any circumstances, at this point isn’t even something I an fathom. I trust no one, and it’s now been a year, and I still find myself in a fog some days, as she did such a great job of making me believe she meant the wonderful future she promised me. here’s a couple of screen shots, though like I said, I doubt u’ll even read this, as she’s already convinced you I’m crazy and/or still in love with her. If I could just talk to the guy, I could tell him verbatim the things she’s telling him, because it’s what she does to addict her victims. If she’s a convert, why blaspheme God, whey the need for constant deviant sexual behavior? Sociopaths can’t be saved, simply because salvation the Bible speaks of is aleeing oneself as a hopeless sinner. She doesn’t think anything she does is wrong, and in fact that is whyreatment that works. Her life is a game, and we are all players and/or props in the game, and everything is either win or lose, because she has the emotional intelligence of a 4 year old. I know u don’t beliege me, and I know ur not interested in seeing the proof, but I’ve posted to scioto county pickers, and other picker pages, if you want to know more, which believe me, I know you don’t, I’ll be here. One last thing to consider, I’ve outright called her a predatory sociopath in public, so why do you suppose she’s done nothing about that? Slander, isn’t it? Only if it’s not true, and she does nothing, because she doesn’t want to risk her being exposed by causing waves. she’s counting on her playing the victim, and calling me crazy being enough to keep her safe. So, if nothing else, if and when you tell her about this, make sure she knows I won’t stop until she either confesses openly to me what she did, and why. so I can have my answers and closure, or until she’s nowhere to hide and is fully exposed publicly.
She is an extremely dangerous creature, a demon in human skin as far as I’m concerned, and had she not been so overtly cruel when I am as she says the “nicest guy” or had she not mistaken my kindness for weakness, and I couldn’t be 100% I ALWAYS treated her with love, kindness, emotional support, encouragement, and deference, as I’m so good at blaming myself for things, she’d probably have gotten away without a peep from me, but I set out from the beginning to NOT allow ANYTHING I did to somehow cause her to feel marginalized or under a microscope, and so it is because of the fact I was ALWAYS overtly nice, she is so obviously making everything up, and the reason, because it’s who she is, it’s what she is, it is hardwired in her DNA to hurt people for NO REASON.
I have screenshots from her facebook messages, and, of her phone number texting me, and video proof as well, and she’s lucky I haven’t sued her for the medical bills I have as a result of her abject intentional cruelty.
I think we were dating the same girl. Homeschooled pastors daughter. Married a preachers son and divorced him because she says she was abandoned, but it’s because she got caught cheating. Faith Fix is her name and she is the devil.
OMG.. your such a STUPID one.. there is NO GOD.. only stupid people beleave in imaginary friends.. and shes not a good sociopath 🙂 I wouldnt get so much loose ends..
Paul I’m so sorry this happen to you. I dated a sociopath close to 3 years. She chased me for 3.5 months before I ever went to her house. She pretended I was the greatest thing, man in her whole life. First time I went to her house she goes right to giving me a BJ. When I was playing with her young brothers she got mad and jealous. It was me and me to her. She threw sex at me as much as she could, calling me all the time, want’s to know where I’ve been. She get upset when I would take one night of weekend for me to hang out with my male friend to go clubbing or I would go out with other women but never told her. I would take a woman to beach for long weekend and she would get so up set. She said I want to spend every day and night with you but I would not for about 8 months then fully committed to her. I really thought I was every thing to her plus she want sex all the time and give me a BJ while driving down road etc. Wanted to know every thing about my whole life. She was all about me then once she fully had me and knew all my buttons things started getting bad. She was having sex with other men all the time, with women, group sex with woman or both sexes, she would get gangbanged, you name it she did it and I did not know. She was stealing from me, my mother, stores or any where. She was freaking lazy, could not work for one year at same place. The greatest liar, actress ever. Always acuse me of having sex, she joined the gym because she was worried I was hooking up with women and if one spoke to me she ask you fucking her. While I’m working out she would be talking to men or a man for 30 minutes at a time. She was the biggest whore where I lived. I live in a small enough town and every body knew me. Her mom told me one day your to good for my daughter, she was trying to tell me to get out. After I had neck surgery were two nerve root were tore 60% into that my right arm was 90 precent paralyzed. She stayed at my parent house so she could ride with them to see me at hospital and the nut went threw my whole bedroom, read all my love letter since I was 16 and had pictures of the girls and women in them. Well at hospital she goes off about some of the letters and the pictures of these women and goes off on me and I went crazy mad and my alarms atashed to me goes off and doctor and nurses come in and she her raising hell at me they kicked her out and banned her. Well when I get home a lot og friends came to see me to tell me all the things she had done behind my back, I asked them why did you not tell me before and they said they were scared to tell me since I was so big, a body builder plus how I used to fight. I got rid of her and she stalked me close to 4 years. My doctors told me to cut all string with her and never ever talk to her again and the stalking began, I should have got the cops on this but thought she would give up. I was so embaressed in my town, mad at myself for being so stupid but since I’m so honest and a Christian while we were together the last year I just could not believe that she could be doing any thing wrong plus I put everything into relationship and hoping for best. I was so hard on myself for being doped so badly. The crazy woman called me 20 years later, caught me off guard and talked to her. She wanted to see if we could be friends again, first thing she said don’t hang up over and over please give me a chance to apologize and like a dummy I talked to her. She said how sorry she was and the only honest thing she ever said to me was, no man have ever treated me better than you and that included my dad, now I know that’s true. She said when I get back to town I want you to come over and see if we can becomes friends again. Told this guy at gym and he said she has a man living with her. She called again and I cussed her out. I forgot what my doctor told me when I got rid of her – she is a sociopath. My doctor said she was hoping that she could play her game on me again then kick the guy out of house to get me back and living with her. Well there is so much more to this story. I just want to tell you I’m so sorry and I totally know how you feel. It’s mind blowing to know that people can lie, fake love, very risky sexual behavior, stealing at will and other things like want work, dress sloppy, anti social, hell you know. But I feel you and your not alone.
I have been reading articles on here that I have not read and it breaks my heart so many others have dealt with these nun human. I read something that brought this to my mind. After I got rid of that she devil sociopath. She told so many people she was scared of me and never laid a hand on her in anger, only time I touched her was love and care. when I drove to her house with my right arm 90 some present paralyzed I still don’t know how I changed gears in my mustang plus I’m right handed, could not even feed myself with my right arm and hand with a spoon, had to do every thing with my left hand. Any way after so many people came to see me after my surgery from two spurs that cut 60 present of nerve roots to my right arm and right side of torso – I guess I was so mad some how I drove to her house to tell her to stay out of my life and my family. Well she did that verbal attack as always when things did not go the way she wanted. She was standing beside driver side of my car and lying her ass off and I started laughing and said you can never lie to my any more when you do your mouth, head, body and arms do this plus she could not bluff me down like she did for a long time and knew I had her dead in a lie. She got so frustrated because she could not lie to me anymore She step right to the window of car while I was sitting in it with engine running and seat belt on and she slap the hell out of my and had my neck brace on plus was not suppose to drive. She would tell all in our town she was scared of me and like she said 20 years later no man has ever treated her as good as I did including her father but she tells all she is scared of me – playing the victim and was afraid the word would get out of her being a sociopath, lesbian, orgy freak, loves to be gang banged by either sex – I told I all I knew and all that knew her what she was, what she has done, biggest whore in Randolph County and the small town of Asheboro, N. C.. I started the term back in 1988 Trisexual, I have never heard that term before ever. I would say she is Trisexual and all I told would ask what does that mean. She was the scary one, when I caught her on something she would lose it, screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs, throw things but new better to attack me since I was a very huge muscled man with no fat but she did slap the hell out of me when I was in my car. As I left her driveway was gravel but had washed out ditches in it and had to go real slow and she was chasing me crying and begging and when I stopped to look for traffic their she was with her hands in the car and on me begging. I said let me she your hand and she presented her right hand and I said the other. When she had her left hand right in front of me I grabbed her wrist and took my bad and week 90% paralyze arm and hand and grabbed that diamond ring and pulled as hard as I could and she started screaming and saying your going to rip my finger off. I said don’t worry about that I will give it back to you – my right shoulder, arm and hand hurt worse that it already did and as soon as I walked into house where I lived the phone was ringing – it was her, I heard her voice I hand up. This went on for weeks, her female friends and even male friend where calling my house and telling me trisexual wants to talk to you so bad, I told every one of them it want happen and if you call me back I will call the cops and they stopped. The first date I went on and soon as I walked in house after the date the phoning was ringing and I picked it up and it was her crying and begging and did what my doctor said, never talk to her again, so I dropped the phone, fixed something to eat which took 14 minutes and was headed to bedroom and saw phone on floor and picked it up to hang it up and she was still on calling my name. She lived a couple of miles south of me, that sucked. Every night her and her lesbian GF were going home late at night they would pull on side or road right where my window was and sit there for up to 30 minutes with motor running. She was jog by the place I worked at lunch time so I would have to see her. I got another job at a gym and she pulled parallel with building with large windows and even pulled the wheels up on side walk. Then I went to work for a large fitness center as manager and fitness trainer and the week before she moved to Cal., she came in with her friend who I was friendly with so she could see me and I would have to see her – never said a word, made a female coworker deal with her. All she would do was look at me but when I make eye contact she would look down. Well she got married that weekend and off to Cal. I heard while he was at work she got on jet and flew back home – left him with all the bills etc. She was lazy, would not work full time at a job no longer than a few months. Get got on disability – she told me 20 years later when she called me and caught me off guard and said her low back hurt and got bad headaches and lived on disability yet went to YMCA 5 days a week and had 3 kids from different men. I guy would delivered propane to her house said they stopped bringing her gas because she owed money plus he said every time he brought it she would come out side in the cold wearing a thin see threw night gown with nothing else on and hit on him, he said he never did nothing with but I know that he did by watching his body language but I did not care but was glad because he had herpes. Reading all these new articles just brings up more things I have tried to suppress or for got. She used sex so much, told me I was the first man to give her an orgasm but she had told me when we started seeing each other after her calling and begging me to come and see her for 3.5 months she was frigid. Sociopath are so dam good at what they do. I never even new what a sociopath was because I never heard of it till I went to my doctor with in a week after that surgery and told him everything and he told me what she was and described what a sociopath was plus he told me to look it up in dictionary plus told me to never speak to her again, you see her in public act like she is not their and did everything he told me to and one of her best friends who I was friends with told me that my ignoring her is driving her crazy – that close friend she had wanted sex from me but I did not but she and I are still friends and speak if we see each other plus she told me before my surgery that I should get rid of the evil GF. I also want tell people that you should buy this book and tell your good friends to buy it to. Name of book – What Every Body Is Saying by Joe Navarro, it teaches you how to read body language so no one can lie to you anymore but as we know Sociopaths are the best liars. My doctor told me to buy this book and once I read it a dew times and practice the teaching of this book no woman has ever got away with anything on me again. You do have to practice – I would do that when watching the news when they would ask a question where the person was lying, talk shows plus in public and got pretty good at it. Plus I learned a lot from the trisexual sociopath. I hope all in here that life is great to all of you. Even to this day I have trust issues with people plus I wonder due to the long relationship with this sociopath is the reason I never got married. God bless all of you.
Keep in mind that the police and courts are pro- female when it comes to domestic violence. A women can go to the courthouse, say she’s scared, fill out a form, and boom. The guy gets hit with a restraining order at work. He can’t even go home that night. A female sociopath will use this to her advantage.
This scenario happened to me. After weeks of waiting for a hearing, the judge allowed me to get my stuff with police escort. When I opened the door, everything was gone, and I mean everything. Even the red pepper flakes you get from pizza delivery. But I did get one thing; evicted for domestic violence! Yea me!
All this because she said she was scared of me. No police report. No evidence. No trial.
Am sorry you experienced this Don 😦
Amen Paul. I’ll make this brief. I have a 3 year on-and-off relationship with a female sociopath. First warning was catching her in lies. I’m talking about finding out she’s on Craigslist looking for guys. Found this out by pretending to be someone else….complete with a fake picture. Also found on her old phone texts and emails where she had affairs. After the lies…..then I became more curious and stumbled into the bigger problem of sociopathy. She exhibited every trait to my utter amazement and sadness. Lots of different jobs, moving from place to place, drug and/or alcohol addiction. Sadness because there is no cure. Bottom line; 1) the Financial strain. Money just goes. We are compassionate and helpful. But we are used. Hard to get them to say “thanks”. 2) the Emotional strain. Broke my heart. We care. They don’t. It’s their world and they are the priority, at all times. 3) sexual selfishness. Other than the first time to hook you, they don’t care if you get satisfied. They don’t cuddle. They have no warmth. There is no emotional connection. The addiction is real. The charm, the beauty, and the interesting stories intrigue you. I know the only way is to make a clean break…and don’t look back. I need to save my sanity. Any help appreciated.
Your lucky she doesn’t “own” your child, as a bonus.
Robert you are so on cue…I married a sociopath and been divorced 15 years and still paying for it….She was no cuddle bug,…..She would say,..get on,..get off and get out….First six months was nothing but sex and fun,.then when she got pregnant,..it was hatred and despisement forevermore…She is still torturing me with the fact she is the mother of my two kids to this day,..she deserted us 15 yrs ago and comes back every 4 yrs to implicate more torture…she just came back in October and she has destroyed my life once and for all after manipulating the kids I raised by myself…She conned them,….and they threw away their life of a settled home to go with her and she is now trying to dump my son off on anybody including the state….I think I got one of the worse sociopaths this century,..I heard of another case the other day in which she drove three of her own children to their graves just to get SSI….The sexual selfishness came after the marriage,…before that it was all me,…then all of a sudden I was ‘getting her to do things she didn’t want to do…..yet she wanted anal sex more than anything and I didn’t even know it…So I was told by a cooworker whom she was running with behind my back doing drugs she was going to leave me if I didnt provide that…..Um,…she went and got it anyway,…and was getting it the whole time from somewhere else…..One thing I noted about these sociopaths have in common is their sexual deviances…..and the lack of emotional connections….and mine had a black book of men who ‘always took care of her’ from all across the state…She has never stayed in the same plce too long….anyway,.I think you have it down pat….
Married to a sociopath/professional liar for 17 years. We have a teenager that I have educated on sociopaths, narcissism and the rage. I showed my son a great article on the rage from this website and it suits her to a tee, she would not back down even though she is much smaller that both of us. The eyes and facial expressions changed and yelling at the top of her lungs. I’m sure that the neighbors could hear 2 doors down, and sure we would be perceived as the problem and not her. I have two more years to protect and educate my son before sending him off to school in a different city. He will need to make a life on his own after that, otherwise, she will drain him with all her demands and to support her financially. Funny, she was very offended when I called her a princess (another word I’m not allowed to use around the house anymore). Smartest thing my son did was film her during a rage (kicking at a locked door that he was hiding behind) and then post it to the web for all his friends to see. At first she was embarassed but then blamed him the next day for causing her rage.
She may appear charming but my friends were able to see that her comments were all fake, no sincere words at all. She had friends before marriage but now my son and I are her entertainment, driver and house cleaners. This site and others are so helpful in planning an escape (no contact) and ensuring that legal representation with knowledge of sociopaths is key in ensuring that some of your interests are taken care of when you are ready to leave. Don has a scary story and it is one that I may face one day. They will stop at nothing to get what they want, which is everything. Unfortunately, everything will never bring them happiness.
Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like a nightmare 😦
Wow, and I thought I had problems with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years. I’m 58, she is 50.
I am told by her half sister she collapsed at her place ( we dont live together) the previous day and off to the doctor’s they went together. I am then told she’s had a nervous breakdown, no visitors, no contact by phone or email, no details on where she is staying, total info blockade in place.
Two weeks later Im told she actually had a stroke and is staying with her ‘carer’ 50kms away in town.
Only brief text messages from her with words all jumbled up.
I rang her doctor to find out more, not on next of kin list, will not speak to me.
The more questions i ask, the more pissed off her half sister is replying to the texts.
I now sit and wait to see how this all pans out. I’m not holding my breat either. Sad, very sad.
I am sorry you are hurting Greg. It can really hurt to be shunned and treated as if you are nothing and irrelevant.
I think the female sociopath goes through largely undetected because they can shape the aftermath easier. As in, when a male sociopath tries to run a smear campaign, some people might be wary of how true the story is. When a female sociopath claims someone has been abusive, controlling, etc. people are less likely to question that, as men are ‘typically’ the abusive one in the relationship.
I think you are right. I think females can blend easier. It is easier for a female to feign being emotional. Or to be stay at home housewife while man goes to work. To be a gossip and to play the victim. Females can blend more. Often females are mistakingly diagnosed BPD or histrionic.
Oh hell there is certainly enough of them these days as well as psychopaths which they’re very dangerous most of the time unfortunately
Yes, the lady I know says she has been diagnosed as Bi-Polar…..but maybe the Dr. Said something else.!!?? This condition actually the sociopath would love, making her abnormalities seem more common and acceptable. It is an absolute tragedy that anyone in this condition cannot be cured.
Bi polar is very different to psychopathy. One is a mood disorder. The other is a lack of human emotions and lack of conscience. People with bipolar do not lack conscience. Neither do they lack feelings. Why do you think she is not bipolar? People with bipolar can be normal on medication. People psychopathy no treatment works and there is no medication for it. The brain is wired differently.
I’ve known this person for 3 years and she has EVERY characteristic of a sociopath. I have been emotionally and financially drained. All I was saying is that her saying she is BP would be a front or excuse for the bigger issue. Yes, women are sociopaths too, and are just as wicked as their male counterparts.. Maybe this site just focuses on the more popular male topic.
Hi, there has been a few hints about the sexual promiscuity here, but mine was very open about it. To understand what’s going on behind your back and how monstrous these people are, mine seduced a BDSM guy to get access to his dominant partner. He was resistant in introducing her to his partner, so she let him to anything he wanted including things she didn’t like. She happily debased herself by letting him violate her in any way he wanted to get to this girl. Once there she described it was a threesome, but then said “no one cared about him” during that session – so sociopath, got to the prize dumped the poor sap right there. Oh and all this while she was in a relationship of more than six years. You won’t see it, but these people are sick and twisted monsters, get out, run away and never turn back.
Yes. It’s all true about the female sociopath. It started out with a few proven lies. Then I researched pathological liar….and then…..boom……I was lead to sociopathy, She was All of the characteristics….it was incredible. I then became a detective of sorts. Faked an identity on Craigslist to an ad she put up looking for a sugar daddy. And boom., she replied. She tried to blame the whole thing on someone else. Later found out on an old phone that she was constantly looking for sexual partners.., and having affairs…..all the while I was in love and helping her. Couldn’t keep a job, couldn’t stay at one place, alcohol addition, drug addition. Has a child, but the ex BF keeps it, while she plays her games. She claims to be an alcoholic, and bi-polar, But they are just Symptoms of her mental disorder. She will use the “judgement” card, saying don’t judge her for past mistakes. Plays the victim. She loses everything, and takes fown victims with her. Then she says she found a God, and she’s a solider and recovers…..with others helping her. The cycle goes on, and on, and on. Leaving a debris field of men with broken hearts and broken wallets. It’s all selfishness, all take, and no give. Last thing on her mind is being in a normal LTR. I am completely free now, but have an unbelievable amount of sadness for her, especially since there is no cure. She should come with a warning label. They should all be put on an island together. But sadly, they have 96% of the population to choose from. Their next victim. Her looks and charm are everything to her. Maybe when she’s old and grey, she’ll stop the game and stop chasing men. Maybe.
No, sadly, they dont stop. I assure you, my grand-grandmother lived to 103. She was a sociopath. I did see my grandfather, uncle, and my grandma sister´s husband die while she was living with them. They are so so negative people that its impossible to stick around. All while blaming everyone for, Guess what? BEEING NEGATIVE! The only person i dont know about is her husband (my grandgrandfather) who managed to scape. My GGmother and grandma always told me that he scaped because of the civil war here in Spain, but i think that, after having dated a sociopath for three years…he just ran away. I dont know anything about him though…i guess his reputation was destroyed by my GGgrandma so his last resort was to scape, as i am doing now…mine was destroyed by this monster…..i want to come back, because she is out of my region now, but i guess if she discovers i am there trying to recover, she will come back to destroy it again. Anyway all this its my fault also….i blamed myself for everything, so when i escape (i was thinking i escaped form my family so i called her to say i have a new life, she inmediately started to get attentive and good with me…just to me to invite her to my new home, come and destroy my reputation at new job and my new confidence). Never tell this people any info about your life, if there are bad news, they will blame you….if they are good news, they will come back to destroy them so you will have bad news again and the cycle will repeat. EVIL is not even apropiate they are SOUL MURDERS, they should be in jail without acces to any telephone or social media, sort like hannibal lecter without the blood, but if my soul could talk…well IS TALKING NOW.
Peace for all of you that are going through all this shit at this time.
I am male, 35, and live in Spain.
I’m recovering from a 3 month whirlwind relationship with a female sociopath that targeted me in a support group on Facebook. In hindsight and after all the online research I’ve done, she fits the criteria. I regret failing to listen to my intuition when I got sudden hunches and misgivings about this woman during our WhatsApp correspondences. I even had a brief flashing vision of a dark brown snake looking down at me one afternoon as I was chatting with her but failed to realize it was a warning until it was too late. This sociopath writes a blog and is called Lorna Likiza.
Shame on you Daniel! You thought I would never see you tarnishing my name here. You have a problem Daniel. Seek help.
Let the admin of this site know that everytime Daniel is called out on his bad behavior he retaliates by branding everyone as disordered and that the reason I dumped him after visiting him in Uganda is because he tore me down every opportunity he could get. He was cold. He might have sent me the fare to go and I honored the visit but he turned out to be a total dissapointment. I moved on. He is still here tarnishing my name. Anybody who thinks it best to even publish the names of a person who wronged him has a malicious intent to destroy. Typical of Daniel who hides behind Facebook support groups. I left that group after meeting him and in as much as I have an issue with my mum, my experience with Daniel made me vow never to join any social media support group again. It should be noted that I have never mentioned him anywhere online until today as I was browsing under my name I see this. Daniel, shame on you!
Are you sure it is the same one?
Another one…. I am sorry Lorna.
I have the opposite story to tell..
I knew my sociopath through my work (she was a client). She was married to a lawyer, been with him for 16 years, owned their own home and had four children under the age of 8.
I was 18 years older than her, with a job that supported me in a rented house.
It started with her text flirting me one Friday night (she was out with her husbands sister). She later admitted that if I had text her my address she would have slept with me that night.
We did arrange to meet up (under the pretext of a group dinner) for a drink. Even then she said she could not have a drink as she was so aroused so we went straight to my place.
The next day she talked about an affair which I refused. I told her I would not be with her while she was still with her husband. I thought at this point, with four kids it would be at least 6 months til we would get together.
Within 5 days, she had walked out of her house, walked out on her husband, walked out on her four children (the youngest was barely one year old) and rented an apartment in the same block as me.
We were together (very off and on) secretly at first, for 3 months. She would pull away from me weekly for the most stupid of things and go off with my mate.
After 3 months it ended. Two days later she was sleeping with my mate which destroyed me and destroyed our friendship.
Two weeks later she was back with me (which destroyed him). I took her back because i was so destroyed by anxiety it was the only fix, plus I thought that my mate was the one at fault. He in turn thought that i was the one that stole her from him and hence he blamed me.
Second time around we lasted about 6 months. Every week was a drama. She hated my best friend (female) and tried to turn me against her and her family. Every week she would go cold on me for 2-3 days, ignoring me and pushing me away only to come back as if nothing had happened.
She was still texting my mate who was telling her that I was manipulating her (she said that he was just a friend)
Sex was regular (daily at first) but only when she wanted it and definitely on her terms. We stayed at her house, not mine.
It finished second time round due to a photo posted by a friend on social media. Her reaction was to set her status to single, delete every photo of us, take her kids (school holidays) and disappear for 4 days.
She even had the audacity to invite me out. When she got back she acted as if nothing had happened and did not even want to talk about it.
She decided that we should have no contact at all with each other which I agreed to. It turned out she had her hopes pinned on a new guy. When it turned out that he was a player (another sociopath) she contacted me two weeks later suggesting that we get back together for a third time…. we could really make it work this time.
For the next six months even though we were not in a relationship she pushed me away and pulled me back on a regular basis. We had sex whenever she wanted (stupidly I went). I suffered hurt, anxiety, depression. I was looking to get something out of all the time and effort I had invested in her. I tried to understand why she did what she did. I know during this time she slept with at least 5 different men (including my mate again).
She suggested early this year that we move in together purely for financial reasons (one bedroom apartment). I suggested a trial for two weeks and she flipped.
When I told her I could not do it as it would destroy me emotionally she flipped again saying that this would have been our chance to get together again and it was all my fault.
I have been away from her now for 2 months. I have had psychotherapy sessions to restore my self-esteem. I could not understand how someone can be so horrible and nasty to another human being. I was destroyed.
In all my years I have never come across someone quite like her. I did not know that people like her existed. I was tearing myself apart over the fact I had wasted two years of my life over someone who was not actually worth 1 minute of my time.
With therapy, distance and the discovery of the writings about Sociopaths I have realised I have just had a huge learning.
I understand how she was so able to walk out on her children (no guilt, regret, remorse) and how it was so easy to treat me so badly. I have to remember that she is wired that way. She looks so innocent with the best smile I have ever seen and yet underneath she is without doubt the most toxic person (to me) that I have met in 55 years. Never too late to learn.
Even now I think she might be trying to reel me in a bit. After two months of not seeing her we have bumped into each other twice. She knows my regular client times and both times has ‘bumped’ into me at the end of appointments. Once to just wave and the second time to smile and say hi. I’m wary as her current guy (overlapped me by five months but solo?? for the last two) seems to be off the scene.
As for me…. I’m one of lifes softies. I put peoples needs before me, I’m the king of empathy. I feel guilt, sorrow, remorse and will always try and see the best in people. I realise I am a lottery win for a Sociopath. Now I’ve met one and survived I just need to play the jungle a little bit wiser.
Oh and just to add to it.
She got a job so no longer relies on her husbands money.
She is now in the Police. A favourite job of a Sociopath as I’ve discovered.
According to many people who have shared their story on this site yes Richard, I would verify that there is some truth to this myth. I guess it is a good career option for those who enjoy wielding control over others.
Dear author, you are totally correct. The articles on this website made me feel like I was reading insights on the last woman I was with. Well, cliche story. She told me I was the love of her life etc. What she really did was to use me to get her errands done and get residential permit. She left me for the first guy with a rich family who was naive enough to be manipulated by her.
Neither of us are from the US, so I am shocked that this is like a global epidemic.
Now I don’t feel anything about that miserable woman. Not anger, resentment, nothing. She is mentally ill and she needs help. I feel so grateful that I got off easy compared to many others who aren’t so lucky.
This is because of this selfie, emoji, Instagram bullshit age and culture. People don’t care about having a character, principles, ideals or possessing humane qualities like kindness, honour, helpfulness etc anymore. All they care about is wealth and social status. They don’t seem to understand that people can’t be defined by the circumstances they live in, or simple ambitions are not ideals.
We live in an age where maniacs reign and are even praised. Best to stay away from them and keep living.
You are right there… it is a crazy world, and plenty of crazies including psychopaths and narcissists running the show.
Well… I met a female sociopath once and well I can say it was an interesting experience I couldn’t tell at first but when she started acting cold and didn’t seem to care about me… but then I found out that she was doing this other people… she eventually told me that she wanted me back I didn’t believe her… one of her friends (also someone that liked her) started telling me about some of the things she was doing I asked him why he was trusting me he said that he wanted to find out more about her so he could be with her and be able to trust her… oh what pity he got mad at me when I confronted her because she threw him away and cut him off because he was telling me what she was doing when. She was awfully charming I keep having to tell people that meet her not to trust her even though she’s awfully charming… granted I can’t exactly be trusted either (although I don’t tell people that). I feel like I’ve limited her destruction to an extent I can’t control everything she does wherever she is right now I’m sure she’s causing chaos…
Also I’m a female who has antisocial traits no I don’t plan on telling my therapist because I simply see nothing wrong with me
I totally agree with this. I dated a female sociopath – she did as you said. Think God I found out what she was doing behind my back and got rid of her. She stalked me for three and half years – it was unbelievable as to the things she did stalking me. My doctor told me to cut all strings. don’t ever talk to her again even if it’s yelling and fighting – I did what he told me to do. I had friends that new her to tell me that my ignoring her was driving her crazy. She even called me 20 years later – caught me totally off guard. she said please don’t hand up several times, I want to tell you who sorry I am for what I did to you and talked to her like a big dummy. She said I am so sorry for what I did to you and no man has ever treated me as good as you and even my dad – that part about treating her better than every man, that I believe. Her mother told me month before I got rid of her that I was to good for her daughter. She wanted me to come to her house and she if we could be friends, I told her you can come to my house and she played the victim – I’m scared of you. I never laid a hand on her and treated her better than her dad for real as they were poor. I said you slapped me when I told you never call me, don’t talk to my family or ever come by – you don’t exist in my life, I don’t ever want to talk you see you ever again. Well we talked a few times and told her I would think about talking to her but she was pushing on it. Well I ran into a friend who knows both of us but he hung out with her group of friends and told him she called telling how bad she felt for how she did me, how sorry she was then said she want’s me to go to her house to see if we could be friends. He starting laughing as he knew how she was, he said she has a man living with her. next time she called I told her you did not change like you said you did. You have a man living with you and you want me to come to your house and she you so we can talk to see if we can be friends – you have not changed one bit, your still the sordid person you have always been. Your disrespect your BF and me by wanting me to come and see you. I told her don’t ever call again. A few weeks later she was behind me when I was driving and had to get some gas and told myself I bet when I pull in she will to. Sure enough she did, I acted like she was not there. when I was coming out after paying for gas then she starting walking in on purpose so we would have to pass, I acted like she was not there, I did a turn of me eyes and she was staring at me the whole time. We both pumped the gas at same time plus she got on other side of pump were she could look at me but I did not look, she planed to wait to go in to pay when I was coming out. She was hoping to do her great acting job in hopes to get me back then kick her BF out. She got rid of him a couple of months later. My doctor of 30 years told me that. 20 years later and calls, catches me of guard plus I was in such a great relaxed mood – stupid me talk to her after 20 years of not and ignoring her when she would come to places I worked and one job she pulled her car sideways with one side of her car on side walk and sat there 20 minutes staring in. Yep sociopaths can’t stand losing their property. They can’t ever change.
My brother is married to a sociopath. She has isolated him from everyone in our family for more than 10 years. He had even disappeared many time and would not share his address and number. My husband searched the internet to find him. Everyone we try to rekindle the relationship and bridge our family, she lies and starts a drama. He turns against us and harasses me and my mom or even threatens us, without questioning her. I’m so sad, I don’t know how to help my brother. He is hypnotized…
I am sorry Rose, that you feel that you have lost your brother. Unfortunately, there is nothing that you can do, the decision has to come from him to leave her for his own reasons. Other than keeping friendly lines of communnication open, there isnt too much that you can do. But by keeping those lines of communication open, and ‘normal’ things available to him, he would know that should he need to, that there is a route out should he wish to leave.