Having been involved with a sociopath, you would all know that they can say and do things that are beyond the ridiculous. In a bid to move away from negativity, I thought that it would be good to write the funniest things that they do or say. Please join me, by telling your stories in the comments section. You can post anonymously if you like too!! 🙂
Lets laugh….
Narcissist Ego
- I am going to be a huge musician, I am going to write music and be more successful and raise more money for charity than Bob Geldof. I can see me flying all over the world, into huge clubs playing. I am going to be massive.
Reality: He is still at home in his single bedroom in his parents house, apparently writing music. He isn’t Bob Geldof, he hasn’t raised money – in fact, he lives financially off his mum.
Sociopath Outrageous Lies
- I am going to buy an Alfa Romeo car
Reality: This never happened, he couldn’t drive and didn’t have a driving licence.
- My ex girlfriend is employed as a Consultant at a large hospital earning £80,000 PA
Reality: She had previously worked in a cafe, but currently was unemployed
- I have bought a house, paid for it cash outright, it is in trust fund for my child, my ex lives in it
Reality: He has never bought a house. In fact his ex lived in state housing
- I have a job, a professional job, earning £45,000 a year
Reality: He was unemployed, claiming state benefits
- My ex is dying of cancer, she will be dead imminently (he kept this up for 2 months)
Reality: She was alive and well, and probably watching tv at home
- I will pay you 3 months rent in advance if you let me move in
Reality: He never had a job, (apart from the jobs he faked), and he never paid a penny ever
- I have been to a job interview, I have been head hunted, I will earn £100,000 a year, line managing 60 staff. I couldn’t believe it I was head hunted at the job, You can give up work, or can work part time. I will take care of you financially.
Reality: He ‘faked’ going to work for the next 6 weeks. There was no pay and no job.In fact, he never worked, he faked a total of 4 jobs, leaving the house every day ‘pretending’ to go to work. There was no rent ‘upfront’ in fact he got me into thousands of pounds worth of debt
- I was in a huge car crash, someone died, he was driving
Reality: This never happened, he cannot drive
- To ‘reinforce’ his lie of the car crash, every time a double decker bus went past he ducked as he pretended he had post traumatic stress disorder
Reality: The accident never happened
- I need to stay where I am, the place has been burgled, all my things were stolen
Reality: This never happened, he had no things to be stolen, and there was no burglary either
- He faked phone calls in front of me by setting the alarm on his phone, and then would have fake phone calls in front of me, to back up lies.
- He told me he has having a new tv/fridge freezer delivered – but I would get there it was all a lie. I would question it, and he would say ‘oh don’t worry about that’
- He told me he had decorated his room, and how fantastic it was, he told me he had all new bedding….. I got there and the room was exactly the same.
Ah, I will think of some more later….. what are your stories? Please tell me it wasn’t just me
Copyright datingasociopath.com 2013
Dating a Sociopath 
And it’s always these silly lies to impress and then they become lies to intimidate. My ex liked telling me that Northrop Grumman hired him years before because he was a hacker. He said this as a way to make me think he could figure out how to access my phone and online accounts so he could spy on all of my “cheating” behavior. I just looked at him like he was so delusional and sad. I honestly felt like a deer in headlights and didn’t know if I should run or just say to him, “It’s great that you have such an active fantasy life and creative mind.” But that’s the kind of thing you tell a 7-year-old boy dreaming of becoming a ninja, not a grown man of 36 who should have put the fantasies behind him long ago. So sad, yet incredibly funny looking back on it. 🙂
Some of the things are so funny. I have to laugh. And so ridiculous I have to laugh too.
Isn’t it funny how paranoid they are, that they have to spy on your personal privacy – probably because they think that you are guilty of doing something that they are capable of themselves.
With his mother of his childs imminent death, I bought her things for the house, there were daily telephone calls to the hospital, the school, and to his daughter.
He faked calling her every other day. The phone would ring, I would have no idea that the calls were fake. You don’t think that someone would have an actual telephone call in front of you, and nobody be on the phone, and that takes courage to pull that off.
In the beginning he told me they were holidaying in the Bahama’s…. fake calls to them whilst on holiday, and right in front of me, tales of their holiday etc…
Its unbelievable really. But looking back, I can only laugh, as it was absolutely ridiculous.
Also, it taught me to be more guarded, and that I was far too trusting of people. Now, trust has to be earned. I never just give it.
And you are right about the 7 year old boy dreaming of becoming a ninja, haha, good analogy!!
My ex said his home was bumbed many time’s and he says he was the first guy to expose the mortgage fraud in the 70s and his home was burned and he burned his ex girlfriends stuff to forget,he always blamed everyone eles for his own problems,always calling me dump because i could not spell good,and then calling me a lier….im done with him for good now…it is sad but true!!!
They can tell THE most ridiculous lies…. they lie more easily than they can tell the truth!! 😦
I know Paula..this sounds like all the other storys from women that end up with these nut jobs..they should have a hosptal just for the Sociopaath’s Only?
Or an island… Sociopath Island. They could make a tv series and pay them from the money they make from the series.
This would be good, as
1. They are great actors
2. They are opportunists
3. They quite often will do anything for money
4. They could all con each other and we could watch
Sociopath Island, I like that!! 🙂
Good One….LOL..I laughed tell i cryed..I needed a good laugh!!
You have to laugh don’t you!! Anyway most sociopaths have a good sense of humour, and could admit to that. Only thing they would hate is (oh wait its a lot)
1. Loss of freedom
2. Loss of control
3. Boredom
4. Obvious exposure – but they could hustle their way out of that.
I think those three things would be the downside for them. But it would save the hassle of
1. Always having to find a new victim
2. Always needing to move and start again
3. Not being accepted for who they are
Who knows it might be a good therapy island for them. Think how much money could be saved in terms of medication, legal expenses, medical expenses, insurances etc…..
Telling me the Facebook friend he was sending “love” and “kisses” to was a stalker – that was pretty funny. Most of his lies were not one bit funny, though, just stupid. I never was a kid, so I guess I just can’t relate 🙂
That is quite funny Sofia!! 🙂 although i bet you didn’t feel that way……at the time.
After he stole from my bank, and took me out on the money he stole (pretending he had sold fishing gear) that didnt exist….. he told me had 1,000 from his grandfather to give to me. By then police were involved, and he was about to get a fraud charge. He made me travel nearly 200 miles to collect it….
That was made up too, which I knew would be…. but I guess I wanted closure by then.
One before him was a proper narcissist psycho, and apart from that first comment about him thinking he was going to bigger than Bob Geldolf, there was nothing else funny about him either. After he lured me in it was emotional abuse all the way.
Second one was a charismatic sociopath, not really distempered or sadistic. Even at his worst….. more ridiculous than anything.
Here’s a list of some of my ex’s Lie’s and crazy shit he told Me some are werid…………One is.He said he felt his dogs belly and she has babys moving in her and due to have puppys soon…a month later i asked and he just said it wasent after all….and 2 he said he’s canseling a women who’s son commited suiside..3…He said the police came to his house and there was a murder next door and police interviewd him…his home was bumbed 4 time’s back in the 80s…his wife cheated and his ex girlfriend set him up and she worked for the police to put him in jail for 3 months…and his other ex after her stole his dogs..and was set up again..he said he was attacked in jail and put in a clod room to make him talk…..This is just some of the lie’s I didn’t beleave he told me..and it just got crazy..I finnally Dumped him…But then the he called Horrable Name’s I cant Repeat….All i can say is WOW!!!
Yes indeed Lu…. WOW…. they are wtf? Your so unbelievable. And so convincing and lies so dramatic that they sound believable. How can someone make things like that up? I think to relieve the boredom, to control you, to have to feel sorry for them and play victim….. its all a game to them,
Yes it is a game to them…They don’t know how to Love anyone but themshelfs..there so arragent and full of themshelfs..It is Unreal..They need Mental help with meds!
And an island!!! 🙂
Right On Ya!!!! Lol
He told me he was married twice before me. After divorcing after 23 years together, him leaving without a hint of it coming, he left behind ALL his paperwork. The second marriage that he wished never ended… never did. It didn’t ever begin. She never did marry him. *eyeroll*
He had a way of keeping me as ‘his only confidant’ or so I thought. Now I can look back at pictures of him in different settings and see the look on the faces around him as to whom he just took into his ‘confidence’. I call them his flying monkeys. They are now the ones that help him stalk and cyberstalk me. Rumor has it I’m crazy and have to be watched. Just ask him! 0;-D
Oh Jenifer, thank you for your comment. I know isn’t it incredible the lies that they tell? I guess making you out to be crazy makes him feel more powerful.
It is awful to go through. I know :(…. i guess it could have been worse, as i was reading your comment, I thought ah — he could have still been married….. that was what I was expecting. Nothing surprises me anymore.
Mine didn’t tell a lot of wild lies like some of these guys. He was still a liar tho and an exaggerator. No matter what was going on, he would make it out to be a HUGE deal and it would end up being no big deal afterall. Just with normal day-to-day stuff, like the wind knocked his dirtbike over. OMG it’s gonna cost $1000 to get it fixed, he’s never gonna be able to ride it again, etc, etc. Two hours later he’s riding it home from work and never fixed anything and still rides it!
Right after I moved out this last time, he started saying how his truck wouldn’t run and he was stuck with no vehicle until he got it into the shop. Next day, he’s driving it to work (he works across the street from me ugh) and after work he sees me leaving work, comes over and asks if I’ll go eat dinner with him so we can talk. I say sure, get in the truck and we go eat. Nothing is wrong with his truck, it’s running fine. He did say he was putting it in the shop and would be without a ride “all week” and as it turns out it was in the shop for one day LOL Mainly crap like that, but constantly. Every other day was something that was such a HUGE deal he’d be all upset over it and always finding a way to make it somehow my fault or responsibility.
I’ve read about Narcissist/Sociopath/Bipolar/BPD/etc and ya know, I have no clue what his correct “label” is and I no longer care. I’ve finally instituted the “NO CONTACT” rule and have blocked his calls/texts. He showed up at my door last night all hurt that I’ve blocked him, but now swears he’s going to start seeing other people. I can only hope he does! I hate to see another woman get sucked into his charming ways, but I’m just looking out for me at this point and it would be a welcomed break for sure 🙂
Thanks for your blog! You and Sophia have helped me see that I’m not crazy like he’s tried to make me feel all these years. I now know to listen to that little voice inside, she knows what’s going on and I have to trust myself to know what’s best for me. It feels great to finally be free from his spell and start living my own life for me!
Thank you for your comment, I know that I shouldn’t laugh. But.. it is so stupid, and so unbelievable you have to laugh!
He would go as far as to get up every day at 6,30am, spend all day at ‘work’..(he must have sat in the library)…… return home at 5.30pm
would call me from ‘work’ say what his day was like, would tell me he was told how much money he would earn. it would be in the bank on Friday.. it never was. Cos he never had a job,
And then pretend like nothing happened. And then when found out would fake another job.
He did this so many times, I ended up in massive debt waiting for his ‘fake pay’ from his ‘fake job’…..
He even told me his daughters mother was dying of cancer, and his daughter was coming to live with us TOMORROW.. I cleaned the house, bought things for her…… she never arrived…… he kept that lie up for a long time. Of course, she never was coming as her mother wasn’t sick
Really crazy stuff.
Thank you for your comment, really made me smile!!! 🙂 Well done you for establishing No Contact!!
Omg- I need to train myself to follow through – he’s sitting next to me right now in bed on his iPad being an asshole trying to agitate me into asking what he’s doing so I’m over here telling you that I’m going to catch him on another lie soon— sociopaths are bored with routine and he will slip. I am so controlled that even I can’t figure out how to get out!!
Aw welcome to the site savemenow….
I hope you have gotten out. The only thing that worked for me was to STARVE OFF THE PARASITE. You STOP giving them positive feelings by becoming completely stoic and unresponsive. Do NOT show emotion, positive or negative. Eventually, they will leave you because they have to feed off of someone else. After they are gone, institute the NO CONTACT rule, and block every way that he can contact you and if he harasses you (which he will, because he wants to keep you on a string forever and ever to give him attention when he wants it) get a No Contact Order from the family court, and then if that doesn’t work, get a restraining order. Dont read his emails but keep them so you can show the judge. The law is there to protect you. Let HIM DO THE WORK FOR YOU in the breakup though, all you have to do is STARVE him off.
They are the worst creatures on earth believing they are immorta.
Hahaha.. he said he was going to convert to christianity when in reality hes an antichrist. he said he would protect me and marry me, he stalked me love bombed and insisted on moving in, then announced i had reeled him in when his head was cracked. hahaha…he told me to be vigilant as his ex wanted to batter me when she was trying to get in touch with me to tell me he was stalking her. haha he put a ring on my marraige finger lol, it was made of grass and lasted about as long as his phoney love for me ;D
LOL Carrie that is funny!!! 🙂
How they say the absolute opposite to what is the truth. It really is incredible.
He would often say to me, (after we split) and he knew he was a sociopath…. ‘yes but i can be whoever i want to be, remember’.
It doesn’t occur to him, that his lies would be found out and he would have to move on. Or that he would create so much damage that there would be nothing left.
For all of their intelligence, there is also something which is quite stupid….
He told me, in a few months time I am going to get all of my teeth done, through insurance (about the car crash which was 20 years before)…. that caused him to ‘duck’ every time a bus went past as he pretended to have PTSD…..
So ridiculous…. and outrageous!! …. sometimes all you can do is laugh 🙂
I just wanted to say, there are those of us that are successful, and not necessarily all that harmful. We keep to a set of moral codes, not because we “feel” it’s right, but because in this society, it just makes sense. While I may not care about people in general, I understand that getting caught in lies (especially nonsense ones) ruins your reputation, and makes it near impossible to blend. I lie as easily as I breathe, and I’ve never understood what “unconditional” anything was let alone love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want companionship, it doesn’t mean I don’t have the ability to care for another person in my own way, even if others have a hard time understanding it. I have ruined lives, and no one ever knew I was involved, but I don’t do that at random, or to people who haven’t wronged me or someone close to me. Yes I manipulate, by the very way my mind works I have to, in order to stay hidden, but I don’t do it to “friends” “family” or (after a few bad relationships when I was young) to the woman I love. Yes, I did say love, it’s not commonly associated with sociopaths, I know, still I believe firmly that I am capable of love. It might not be what anyone is used to thinking of as love, but it’s what I have. in my relationships over the last 8 years or so, I have made a point to never manipulate, strive to be honest…. or at least not lie outrightly, and certainly not for my gain at her expense. For a long time I couldn’t understand How you could or Why you would want to put another’s wellbeing before your own…. I don’t think that first one will change, but after falling in love, I did learn Why someone would want to. So while I may never be able to tell the woman I care for, honestly, that “I would do anything for you” or “I would die for you” I have since learned to make her as important in my mind as myself. Any of you who have dated one of us knows how highly we feel about ourselves, and there fore how highly I must feel about a significant other, to love them in this way. All this to say, when I’ve decided it’s time to give my kind of “love” to that person, I tell them exactly what I am, I do it as gently as possible, but with a little online research most run screaming or simply don’t believe me, obviously those end shortly (and no I don’t ruin their lives for not accepting me, that wouldn’t benefit my future endeavors), but sometimes, someone will listen. I just told my GF of 2 and a half months. It was a 19 hour conversation, and in all honesty, I don’t know if she’s going to accept me as I am, or the kind of “love” I can offer her, but at least she is considering it. I just wanted it to be known, that while I must admit I am self centered, devious and emotionally different, I am not evil. In fact by my estimation have put out far more “good” than I have “evil”
– A Concerned High Functioning Sociopath
hmmm….. you mean she doesn’t know or … you told her simply as you had to confess, because you have been caught out lying, cheating, deceiving? I bet the latter is the most likely?
Nope. I wasn’t caught doing anything, really only the sloppy spaths get caught. No, the reason I told her (and the reason I ever tell any woman) Is because I see “us” as a potential long term thing, and how can you feel “close” to someone you know has no idea who you really are? I feel that if I am going to have something “real”, or at least as real as I can have, this is something my significant other needs to know. Not just for my benefit for feeling like they know and accept me, but for theirs as well, I’m not perfect and as I love this person like myself, I want them to be able to call me out on my bullshit if I slip up. I am one of of the ultra high functioning sociopaths. No one I’ve know has ever even realized what I am, or my lack of empathy, as I said before most of the women I tell (in a relationship) look it up and say that i’m mistaken, or it’s simply not possible, they “know me too well” I have never had the need to confess, except in concert with the need to be accepted as I am. Also as a side note, I have never, and will never cheat (on a significant other, card games are different). I don’t think it’s “fun”, I actually find the whole thing to be quite banal, but then I’m also not as sexually controlled as most of my ilk.
You cant ever be close to a Sociopath, as you hide behind lies and deception. You are also secretive. This creates a wall between you and the person you are involved with. So if you think you will ever be close to someone, I think that this is an illusion on your part, or rather delusion.
Fair enough, and I have thought about that quite a bit, not that I think I’ll ever solve it. The point is, I don’t hurt the women I date, I don’t manipulate them, or attack their insecurities, in fact I try to leave them in a better mental state than I found them, through encouragement and support. I find that much more of a challenge and far more interesting then mentally breaking them down, also most of the empaths they’ve dated before me, already seem to have done a pretty good job of that anyway. So while I may never be able to be “close” to someone in the traditional sense, I can fill my needs to not be bored, without hurting them. I guess all I’m saying is, there are those of us who find it more fun, and challenging to build and create, and further our society, rather than to break down and destroy. My logic says that it is better to help build up those around me, that the society I live in might improve, yes I ever move for personal gain, but not by cutting every throat in the way, that will almost always eventually lead to chaos. The only ones I have undercut, and manipulated, are people that other empaths agree need to be stopped, one of which was another sociopath running a muck, like a tornado through a town. He wasn’t very good however, and it was relatively easy to set him up in a frame. 5 years, and given his behavior he’ll probably get more time on the inside. Some of us are good by definition, we may not hold our code for the “right”/same reasons, that you do, but does that make us less deserving of some place in this world? I was born this way. There are no working treatments with viable results (trust me I’ve looked), so my only choice is to find a way to have a life in this existence, in a place where a foreign and intangible concept rules most of it’s motivations. My solution is to use my unconventional mind for good, and hope one day to find some form of acceptance for that.
I have a better plan why don’t we just take all the normal people and put them on an islands plural and let the sociopaths run them. That way every one fits into society perfectly the sociopaths who desire total control at the top of the food chain and the “normal” people as citizens governed by a sociopath.
Would be basically equivalent to you self proclaimed “normals” suggesting we should put all sociopaths on there own island.
Fact is we all are imperfect in one way or another and there is no way you can say that any one group of people are all bad or all good. There are plenty of quote on quote sociopaths that use there traits for the benefit of society just as there are the ones that would like society to burn. No one is perfect not sociopaths not “normal” people (which is relative by the way). I’m not saying you should blindly trust anyone but you can’t say every sociopath out there can’t be trusted. So if you want to put people on islands that have ever displayed any antisocial traits than we would be needing a few more islands cause that’s all of us at one point or another and their being no way to figure out if someone is in fact a sociopath or not. Many times doctors themselves can find themselves duped by a true sociopath. True sociopaths have no intention of being discovered good or bad and would lie to doctors the same way they lie to every one else. Most of the true sociopaths that walk among us are very good At camouflage and are fully aware of the truth but Would never tell the truth because of the stigma that comes with it.
Haha… that is silly. We all know there are loads of psychos in governmental power.
My ex spath gave me a necklace once which he took back & a Dallas Cowboy T-shirt (his favorite team of course) in an extra large & ugh I could go on and on and on about his selfishness…never ever considerate of my feelings unless he wanted something from me. Then he was incredibly sweet and flattering. Telling me everything I wanted to hear. I’m willing to bet he is one of the most cunning sociopaths ever made. I still dont know his next move…
So many crazy/pointlessly stupid things he did like when we were split up once he phoned and said he was in hospital after trying to kill himself – I believed him cos I could hear clattering and echoing voices. My family convinced me to ignore him – and I later found out he’d been calling from the railway station on the way to see his new girlfriend!
Another time I ignored his phonecalls so he left a message saying I had to come pick him up because he was miles from nowhere and his foot had swollen to twice its size so he couldn’t get his shoe on. That didn’t work either.
He stalked me for a long time – and took to wearing a Batman mask – as though I wouldn’t know it was him
But the funniest line he ever came out with (I have it as a favourite quote on my FB page) was ‘Every woman in Shifnal fancies me – except for the ones you’ve turned against me’
Oh my, Karen!! This REALLY made me laugh!! Esp the batman mask, I laughed hard!!! I have often thought that would make a fantastic book – the wonderful lies that sociopaths tell!! 🙂
Since I called him a monster on several occasions he asked me “do you have what it takes to turn me back human?” I almost choked to death from laughing!!!
Hahaha that is funny Veronica!!! lol…. it always amazed me, how someone who is actually intelligent, could do and say things which are just so silly! Unbelievable! For all of his crazy things that he did and said, I can, sit with laughter. It was the extreme actions that he did to back up his lies. He did honestly set his phone alarm to ring, so he could pretend someone was on the other end of the phone having a conversation, to back up his lies. Looking back, it was quite remarkable.
That’s funny!
Hi Veronica,
That is sooooooooooo funny. My ex-nut boyfriend attempted to unsuccessfully swindle me financially like 5 times in two days ( always unsuccessfully) while we were in Washington D.C. together last year. In the morning at the hotel, the phone rang and he picked it up and said, “Washington D.C. Damage Control Center, We are open from 9 a,m, to 5p.m. except on holidays” This acting job basically confirmed for me that he KNEW he had “damaged” us permanently, and then knew that he had to “control” the damage. All this was said in “good fun” on his part, but I saw it as soooooo telling.
I’m sure he had been down this road before with females and would be again with others after me only I think most females not only will not pay for him, but expect him to pay for them. It will not be easy for him.
And he called himself “Prince Charming” and kept making all kinds of comments about his “prowess”. Prowess at catching lizards maybe, but women? How?
Everyday since I learned what kind of person I was dealing with, I’ve heard so many ridiculous things about this guy. I learned his lies are equal opportunity, he lies to women and men. Apparently, I’ve been dating a millionaire!!! Oh! But his money isn’t tangible, it’s tied up in investments….what a moron!!! While this confirms that he is a pathetic monster, it makes me feel worse. How in the hell did I not see this complete phony? I know the answer to that, but it just pisses me off that he did this & continues to get away with it!!! GRRRRRR!!
Mine is an online dating story…during now for 4 months,
Due to the distance we cannot see each other often, I have been there twice, everything he told me about his work corresponds to the facts , the logo on his work email address , he answers his work tel number etc , the name on his letter box, so far it looks OK. But, the story of his life , what I’ve heard, is just inbelievably scary, ex diplomat, travelled extensively, been away from the country until few years ago, talks about places in the world with such exactitude you cannot imagine a person who’s never been there telling you all the particularities, which I check afterwards online, secret missions in conflict zones, ,wounded seriously in 97 and spent months in the Maryland hospital So far, it looks il might be true. Avid reader with a brilliant memory. Every weekend he goes back to the place where he lives permanently, being away just for the week for work ( the only place I know). There was a very quick proposal to marry me after we’ve known each other for two weeks , a commitment he did before God, online! after just seen each other’s photos. The story of his life, and mine, of course it sounded like we’ve been waiting for each other , I’m about to end a marriage of 20 yrs with an abusive man and the separation will take place after 2 yrs, but he wants to wait for me.The man says he is divorced for many years, no children, no siblings, just an elderly mother to whom he needs to go every weekend. During the weekend, no contacts, no mails, not even sms. He’s just started works on “our” future home there, telling me to the last particularity what the stone carved kitchen sink looks like.The red flags I saw are in relation to this silence in the weekends, the apparent detachment i felt the second time I was there, he just sat in front of the tv and was absentminded for a long time, withdrawn, almost avoided physical contact, wished me away, with the later explanation that he is so used to bachelors life that my presence there, very pleasant and wished, gave him some discomfort , but he doesn’t want to be single anymore, definitively, and he’s sure I’m the right woman… until I came back home, to tell me how we missed precious time to talk about our future. Is it possible he displayed signs of guilty conscience? When I try to confront him about trust issues, he becomes violent in his reactions, told me bluntly if I don’t trust him and if I am suspicious, the “thing” does not interest him..and the next words are how his life is not possible without me by his side. I must say he is a highly intelligent man, well composed, never bragging about anything, not a narcistic type, but this incredible life story , waiting just for me to enter his life ,promises of respect and care and accepting my children as his own, at the age of 52…something just makes me suspicious. After few days of tension between us, as I am now very aware after reading your forum, he came back telling me that he forgot to ask me my full details …he wants me to be the beneficiary of his life insurance which was done for him during his work in those sensitive places, an insurance worth one million $, in case something happens to him he wants me to have an independent life, I think this was what rung the bell for me…I am planning of asking him to take me to the place he spends his weekends, and see the reaction ,after all , this is supposed to be my future home! All sounds too nice to be true, superbe emotional letters written to me every week day, silence in the weekends, I am writing because I can just feel it coming…the greatest love story of my life and the biggest shock I am heading for, but I think I’m well prepared, thank you so much for your posts, I would have never thought such kind of minds mingle about us in every day life.
(I’m not an English language mother tongue, please excuse my writing)
God bless you
Hi your English is very good!! I am confused, have you met him yet? In real life? Also, if you are just leaving an abusive relationship, please go careful. As you need time to heal! I agree that the insurance information does sound very suspicious. Did he ask for your bank details? If you are seeing red flags – LISTEN to them. Usually this is your inner voice warning you. The internet is a good place for sociopaths to find new victims. I don’t know whether he or if he isn’t. But, do listen to your inner voice. I can say that sociopaths are illusionists, they paint a perfect picture to hide who they really are. They are also compulsive pathological liars. Who will say anything to lure you in. The also play victim, so have tales of sorrow in their past (as he has). If you haven’t met him yet in real life, and you are having red flags. Please think about whether it is safe to meet him. Sociopaths are very hypnotic and persuasive in real life.
You will never be prepared…so please protect yourself and run away…Love means truth, love means reciprocity, love means respect…tthe “greatest love” will be when you respect yourself and don’t allow this liar on your life. They never change (mine is a rebound relationship, we were together when I was 18 -at these time I thought everything was because we were young- twenty three years after and after 3 years of this “twister” I can said to you…they never change, they don’t want to change, they are happy with their vain lifestyle, they are like “zombies” -hollows bodies without a soul- or like “vampires” who try to suck your soul. Remember theonly one who gives them permission to take what is yours is you…so please give yourself the gift of saying NO, and turn the other direction. It’s not easy, but it will save you a lot of tears.)
Good answer!! 🙂
I don’t know if it is the way that women are wired or how we were raised, we always think
“I’m special, I’m different with my love he will change…,with my love and patience…he will see his potential…with my love, patience and money he will be able to accomplish his dream…” The list will never end because it doesn’t matter what you say, what you did…it will never be enough and he is like a vaccum cleaner he only take away and only give his dirt…If you have the break read the book “Why he does that?” An excellent book written by a man about why thera are romantic partners who are abusers…not every abuser is a sociopath, but every socipath is an abuser
Vampire is the perfect word for these monsters. They have sex with you like you are not even there, they want your attention, your love, your time, your self esteem, your affirmation, your friends, your unconditional acceptance and trust, and never ask anything of them in return.
Hey, I am a guy 🙂 I know the kind of people you are talking about. I read all the stories you are telling and laughing loud. There has been always liars and exagerators, I understand the first time u give it a chance, you think “maybe its true”, but after a few lies, each one more impossible, you must think critically!
The lady above, that story of thet retired diplomat sounds like not true, think about it twice, ask for proofs, he will change subject or make up excuses.
Be very careful and be aware that all the big stories are fake.
Hi Italy,
The weekend silence would alert me to wonder what it means, and like you said, it will be your future home according to him; so, why not ask about it. I think you are very wise in asking questions now since they will be answered in some way now. I always felt uneasy about the man I was seeing. Something always felt a little off, but I dismissed it until I did at one point “push the limit” and predictably, he gave me the answer I was afraid of, not a good one, but that night he claimed that he will “pray to God to get the nice girl back in the morning”. Funny thing is, he is NOT religious at all, and I wasn’t being “not nice”. I just openly expressed that that was the worst evening of my life and that if we aren’t “friends” after that evening, that it’s not the end of the world. The next morning, I tried to be particularly”nice” and even ordered room service to our hotel to try to make the best of the situation. Well, he predictably took advantage of the situation and asked me how much money I have in my bank account; I was like , “WHAT?”
I found out a few months later that he owes money to EVERYONE, friends, family, acquaintances, and that he gave a MALE friend the silent treatment for 2 years. I was already getting it and it never stopped. Now, he just “teases and taunts” me through mutual friends and sends me music on my phone with no phone # showing. I know it is him because of the type of music. This is his way of trying to elicit attention and making sure I think of him while maintaining the direct silent treatment and thus staying “in control”.
The more you can find out directly and indirectly, the more you will be equipped to decide if this man is someone you can trust or if you may want to “watch out” in your interactions with him. Time will tell you what you need to know because they rarely show their mean selves early on, but later, his true self, good or bad , will become clear to you, even if he goes back and forth with it. You will get a “feeling” about him and what he is all about.
Fantastic answer Paula, thank you!! 🙂
-Do a little research, it cost less to pay a background check (on internet you can find places)
-try to contact his ex, she will give you the best resume of who you are dealing with.
-listen to your inner voice, trust your instinct, don’t cover the flags (he doesn’t have friends? All his “friends” are female? Does he have a relationship with his relatives? He talks with “dirty language” about his ex?(sorry about the terms, to me also english is not my first language) It is never his responsability?The relationship seems to go on :fast forward “You are my soul mate” ” I want to marry you” “I want a baby with you” “Just imagine how great it be if we combine our money” I can’t live at your house we need a house we can call ours” All these phrases said on less than a month of “knowing” him. Hear what your friends and family have to said…my daughter (8 years old at the time this began) said when she met he, “he is a bad man”…she never wanted to be around him… If you “feel” you can’t trust him Please, don’t trust him…
Children are very perceptive….. they are better judges of character than adults i have found!!
You are SO RIGHT!!!
– Does he have friends in his city? If not, that is a red flag.
– Does he say crazy things or talk about marriage after a week or two of knowing each other?
– TRUST YOUR GUT – You KNOW what it is saying.
– Is he friends with ANY of his exes? WHY NOT? Because they said “it was too hard” to be friends?
– Does he seem “helpless” or “emotionally damaged” or “fragile” until he is insulted by you? Do you feel an overwhelming urge to protect him or nurture him? This is exactly what he wants you to feel.
– Does he say he did some “things” to “protect himself” when he broke up with his ex? Like, follow her? Check her email? Check her phone? Record her? RED FLAGS.
– Did he “ACCIDENTALLY” see your email and even though it was an accident, he has some “questions” about an interaction you may of had with someone he doesnt know in there? He’s got a keylogger on your computer and has gotten your passwords. Reformat your computer or get a new one. You will never find the keylogger by searching or anti-virus. Get out of there.
– Can you contact his ex and talk to her about him, if so, DO IT. She may save your life. Be careful though, you don’t want to put her in any danger by having her talk to you. Find a way to do it totally on the D.L. where he could never find out. Don’t do it through your own facebook, email, or anything else, have a friend help you.
“I was born on the wrong era, I was born to be a dictator” (sadly I’m not kidding)
“I can’t see war movies they distress me after I went to fight at war…” (he never leave his basic training camp and he was dumped from the military)
“This scar is from a fight at war…”(the scar was made by one of his exwife when she was defending herself after he beats her)
“With you everything will be different, you are special to me…”(at the same time he ask his ex if they have a break and is flirting with a new girl at the gym)
I know…. so unbelievable… you think you couldn’t make it up. A lot of the stories ARE so farcical you think NOBODY would make that up? Why would they? the lengths that they go to… I should think of some more as I think he must have given one golden nugget a day – of total bull….
Oh yes that reminds me – the scar that he had on his stomach – was when he was bitten by a shark!!!
Ah I forgot that one – oh and he had been cut open. And he had metal rods in his face. He had had a car crash years ago – and was going to get a new set of teeth and a facelift…
I am sure that without me in his life he is having the time of his life weaving and making up stories, just saying what comes out of his mouth – oh but I would feel a bitch if I said ‘that isn’t true’ as those stories always had some poor you victim about them!!
– he sends me photos with his airborne beret (where he found it, at party city?)
-he send me photos of his service time at Irak ( one photo is from internet)
I’ll will always be grateful with his ex, she allow me the time to talk to her and she gave me her version of the story (an horror story that doesn’t have anything to do with the “old crazy witch” he always said. I think that I must be his new “bruja” to his newest acquisition)
-“I don’t believe in the legal system I have a better way to behave” ( that is so true I make a little background research and found more than 5 pages of his “better ways” he had three marriages, 2 bankruptcy, 2 foreclosures, more than 50 criminal charges that go from DUI, bad checks, exposing himself, battery…)
To this day I can’t believe how a person can decide to destroy the trust of the person that love him
Mine was a fireman/paramedic & a licensed builder and had diving certification. The funny part is when he claimed he had just joined a local, multi-county dive rescue team because the state police and the coast guard had swimming specialists, but not rescue divers & that as a result, he was on call all summer 24/7 in case the dive team called him. No such thing on line, & still don’t believe that the coast guard doesn’t have divers. He also seemed to have conflicts with customers. They had a habit of not paying what he claimed they owed him. All odd.
A coast guard that doesn’t have divers? I bet none of them could swim either lol
Here’s one by a true sociopath, his latest. One moment in his wrath he’s all about serial killers, stalking, intimidation, fear. As soon as I contacted police and his probation officer about him violating my restraining order again, this is his latest:
God is my protector. Today I have turned from sin. I have had enough of the devils company.In the name of Yeshua the one is almighty and able to save I command all evil to depart from my life. For all my life I choose to serve my loving all powerful creator. Amen I love you lord and in public state that I repent and am now accountable to live a holy life this day forward.Let me serve your Kingdom and be a light to all those who know me and allow your precious saving grace to be seen . I was wicked no longer do I want to be evil. I hate sins and destruction . Thank you for touching my heart through all your amazing ways.
Yes my texts changed when I said that I was reporting them to the police!! its funny….. how they can switch and change whenever it suits!
-he have two tatoos as a reminder of his time at war (he never went to any war, if you don’t count the “relationship war” he loves to declare)
-when I ask him politely to pay the money that I lend him, he says different things “I pay you already, don’t you see all the time I have invested in you…I don’t owe you…you don’t have any proof…we have to talk to see what you said I owe you…sue me, everybody will know who you are” (he sign a contract with me, it seems he decide to forgot it and I feel so tired of asking what I deserve…he doesn’t have any respect for me)
-he lefts a voicemail at my phone with him yelling and a lot of derogatory words against me. I send it back to him saying that these words are not for me so I’m returning them to him..he send a text message saying, “You send it to hurt me” (Ha!!!)
-He says “I’m the best lover, you will never find someone like me” (thank god! When I stop to think about everything I can see that at first there was a lot of passion, but his eyes are always closed and then everything turned so weird, a routine that always have to be done where I feel as an mere object..is this common with the sociopaths?)
–
Yes VERY common. They repeat the same behaviour over and over. I did laugh though when you sent him back saying those words are not for me…. lol, then he plays VICTIM and says that you are hurting him!!
Crazy huh? …. and as for the money, I think they see others as a career option, they have no empathy, guilt remorse or shame. So they do not see why they should have to pay anything back. They use words – empty promises, but this is just stalling for time…. Yes sociopaths do see you as an object, this isn’t personal, they just need someone to use – to get whatever it is that they want.
I have what I think is a good work where I was able to combine what I love with a good way to earn my living. I was under a budget that allowed me and my daughter a good lifestyle…now I’m trying to rebuild not only my life, but my savings and credit…after “Pinnochios’ return” I spend all my savings, and put my credit line to the limit, and he is still saying he dont owe me anything…every time I have to pay the loan that I made to belp him – the one he gave an written statement he will pay- I told myself “never again”…Now he is deceit (decepcionado..sorry english is not my first language) with me because he says he want to be with me, but I don’t want to pay his airplane ticket… (amazing!!!)
Your English is great!! Yes I had those notes too….. promising me to pay. In fact he sent me a note saying that he promised to pay and if he didn’t he deserved to be on the streets with nothing and nobody. So…. what did he get….. he ended up on the streets with nothing and nobody….. did this change him? No…. he still never paid back a penny!.
I’m hispanic, our culture is mainly male chauvinist. First I thought all this crazy behavior was part of an extreme chauvinism (he have a master degree on double standards and being a misogynist) now I know his problem is not just a cultural problem, and the “pinocchio alien clan” are dispersed all over the world, and the have women too.
I have waited for so long to see a sign of humanity on him, to see if he was real, to see if the man I know first appears again…it will never happen…this is the truth, the only truth…Now I’m trying to let the love I still have for him (At first I was ashamed that after so many deceptions I’m still in love of him or who I think
he was, but as a male friend told me “I prefer to be the one able to love, than be him..”) change to be a lesson for me not only of why I allow this to happen and how I will try to not repeat the story…as Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different result…” He is the insane one, not me…
Lol yes I remember sending my ex that ‘insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting different results’…
And they DO repeat the same behaviour over and over!!
Why is not more awareness of the theme?
-when I talked with one of his ex (his wife for more than 15 “hell years” as she called it ) we compared notes on everything and I found that everything is as a reenactment of the same play where he is the “star” and he is the only one who knows the script…I have play my part years ago, but I don’t undertand anything and thought at the time that he was a jealous insecure guy…now I know
-It’s sad that there is no more awareness about the theme, and we can learn about this plague only when we made a long journey to try to discover what happened and why.
– I don’t know if it was translated to english but on spanish you can find an excellent and simple series of books about the theme, the author is Walter Risso.
I am confused, what is it exactly that they want??? I could never understand what my spath wanted from me. I am also afraid of when he is going to swoop in & make his return again. I have been 1 month NC but we have a history going back 8 years & a child together who he pays support to. But does not have visitation rights to. I just can never be prepared enough for when he tries to enter the picture again. As a master manipulator I have never been able to figure him out. I think above all he enjoys the chase, the game.
Hi spaths,
You ask what do they want? The truth is that they want everything and nothing all at the same time. What they want, depends and what their needs are, and those can change daily. You will never be able to keep up and will never be able to keep them happy and offer what it is that they want – as even they do not know what they want…. its changeable. They are never satisfied whatever you gave, they would want more and more and more…. until quite literally there was nothing left.
I got a message in my FB…my ex after 2 months massged me and said he was canseling a women who’s son commited Suciside and needed his help…I DIDN’T BUY IT FOR A MIN I JUST DIDN’T RESPOUND TO HIS MEASSAGE,WOW!!!!
Oh gosh, she could be his latest victim. In his mind he is telling you what a good guy he is. I feel so sorry for her if this is true…. and it might be.
Your Right i thaught that as soon as he messaged if she was real..He did tell big lie’s and I knew they were made up to make him look good..He’s storys never checked out..and thhere was some wild one..
I have alot:
-His dad was in jail because he was trying to kill his mom since the mom was having an affair with the dad’s best friend when the dad was first in jail.
-His family are big time drug traffickers
-His niece had a rare disease (forgot about the details but only like four children in the world were diagnosed with it apparently)
-His mom died in a car crash (a few months ago)
-He ODed in San Francisco (two months ago)
-He surfed naked in Miami
-He was able to fly from Hawaii to LA to Guam in a matter of less than 24 hrs all the while dealing with his business in LA (he missed the flight to Guam we were supposed to take together
-He missed the flight to GU because he was getting me a car
-He flew from NY to Hawaii yet was able to text me within less than a couple of hours inorder to reply
-Women always hit on him and give him their numbers
-That he went to a rave and took 4 mollys and continued to pop more the next day (wow he didn’t OD???)
-He was going to participate in a triathlon that sunday (yet when i checked there was no triathlon for that whole month)
-The rave he was goingto take me to and pick me up for was cancelled the day of, yet when i checked online there was no rave going on
-That he was in Guam (evn though i went to the hotel and checked to call the room with his name, yet they said noone by that name was staying there)
-That his mom left him money and the mom’s side was trying to cheeat him out of it so he had to go to court (because his mom’s side hates him)
-His new internship prevented him from seeing me on weekdays and nights because he was so busy typing up reports
-His boss (even when he worked at Louis Vuitton) gave him a bonus and always took him out to lunch
Im sure theres more but these are all from the top of my head. And they mostly consisted of excuses of nnot seeing me or talking to me. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner. Everything he said was so outrageous. D=
I think its good to write down the ridiculous things that they have said or done. It can be just a better therapy than writing all of the negative. I know when I was able to laugh at the behaviour it did really help me to move onto acceptance.
I do it every day as I plan my escape
He told me, when asked about what appeared to be a wedding ring on his left hand, that it was “just a ring”, that he “wasn’t married”. It was so out there to me that he would actually wear a wedding ring to meet me for a date that I believed it. He wasn’t “completely” lying as I learned later that it was in name only (not legal) and he still doesn’t claim her as a wife (she does), that he had another with his name in another state (still does). He goes between them and seemingly was planning to incorporate me.
Oh gosh, wow… maybe it is better that you have learned this right now.
I knew of them as “ex’s”. Although, he didn’t call them that, which I found strange since most in post-relationships view them as their past. (A flag.) When he finally broke down and told me after a movie of us holding hands that there were two households (the one he lived with and the mother of his child in another state), I told him I didn’t get involved in such things, but wanted a traditional relationship (same as I’d expressed when we first met). I took off and didn’t talk to until he contacted me again. He led me to believe it (the person he was living with) was over, that’s why he’d come looking for me. I told him if it was over, to make it so, then come to me. He said to let him handle it, he had done this before (another flag), he couldn’t do it in a second (probably money tied up, not to mention dependency—he would need to know I’d work out). For whatever reason, I did. After a couple months, I had been over to his (her) house and thought he had moved her out. He knew I thought this and allowed me to continue believing it by not answering the question directly. The first I knew she was still there living with him was when she picked up his (her) car in the night when he got arrested in mine and got it impounded.
I love how they use a ‘thread of truth’ as evidence (they were exes) to make their lies seem believable. It sounds like you have been through some crazy making times!!
He told me he has his own home, only to find out it was a council flat and in rent arrears lol
🙂 lol Karen…. I think that all sociopaths have a degree of low self esteem. Which is why they have to fake to be someone very different to who they are.
Can anyone tell me, why can’t you confront them with their mental health?? I did and there was a cold blank silence, for the first time in 8 years lol he went off and now silence, even from neutral friends ,weird, it feels spooky lol
I think that they do know that they are different to other people. Which is why they fake it and live behind a mask.
They live in denial. Nothing is wrong with them. Even if they think it, they would never admit it.
$8 million dollars is my retirement number. Then we’re goin to Bora Bora and let me show you my “money no object” boat that I’m getting…
Ah, somewhere I can vent anonymously. He texted me that his ex was going for multiple biopsies for cancer, she was under a lot of stress, not working etc. So I consult social media and she is posting about the awesome vacation she just got back from. I call him on it, and an hour later (after he has been working away on this I assume) he sends me a text conversation with her about the biopsies etc. Totally fabricated. It is the craziest phenomenon I have ever witnessed…. like, what is going through his head to do that when I obviously know he is lying.
I experienced similar – with his and cancer – the whole thing where it went on for months and she was days away from death…… why? Surely when she didn’t die I would realise?
Lol good catch!
Love this post !
I feel sorry for sociopaths, I pity them, they’re so pathetic! Lol
Oh the lies. 1. I have terminal cancer. 2. I have refused chemo and radiation 3. I am going to Mexico for alternative cancer treatments. 4. You can’t come to mexico with me, but I am taking my single party friend 5. I feel better at sea level. 6. I am a private investigator. 7. My stomach and intestinal cancer has spread to my colon, (however, I haven’t missed a day of work) 8. my ex-wife cheated on me 9. I have been in a car accident and have a concussion 10. I love you, want you, you are amazing (as his cell phone rings and he says it is his mom) 11. You can’t meet my mom, she is probably in her pajamas 12. I cant meet your friends or family until I am feeling better (but you said your cancer is terminal) 13. the lastest tests back from the doctor are inconclusive 14. the doctor is on vacation, I still don’t know my prognosis (but you said you were dying) 15. infinitum……….. 16. I love you
Sounds very similar pattern to my ex!!
I was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder… AGAIN.
To be honest I think it’s a load of bollox, I really don’t believe in most “mental health problems” they say that exist.
UK – England
my sociopath would call himself “aberaksis” the god of everything…then in the same breath he would say that hes nobody…lol…..oh and within a month of knowing him…he loved me…he wanted to marry me…im his soulmate…he wanted me to have his baby…i hadnt met him in person…this was all over the phone…lol!! i literally thought he was the best thing since sliced bread…lol…well i did date him…for 2yrs..he carried on a relationship for 6 of the months with another female…all the while having his profile on a dating website…multiple upon multiple women on facebook…i had no clue…he didnt break a sweat…but i can laugh now that hes gone….just a monster…
After 10 months of “No Contact” I can finally laugh at a lot of the lies. As I read this post, I started jotting down his lies. I came up with a lot in a short time!! Most of these lies are pretty ridiculous and crazy!! But hopefully someone can get a good laugh… (Before you see all the lies, realize that My ex-sociopath & I knew each other since the age of about 5 & grew up together)
1. He told me that he sacrificed his childhood taking care of his blind parents and their needs.
Reality: He did what he wanted as a kid, and made their life a living hell.
2. He said that he went to a 4 year college/university right after finishing High school (1991) and played football for the College for the 4 years he was there.
Reality: He did not go to college until 2010 and it was a community college and he received an “associates degree” in 2011
3. He told me that he was a “Practice Player” for the NFL football team in the city him and I are from for 5 years, making $350,000/year. He also said for a few years he played on a semi pro-team for our city, making comparable money. For a year he said he played on an NFL team in California briefly but was “cut”. All of these teams he was playing on supposedly took place in the early 1990s.
Reality: When I told him that I never knew that about him, he said “not many people knew that about him” Also.. I never saw his name on any “team rosters” when I went looking. There is no documentation of what he said. If he truly was on an NFL team, they would document it. I realized that the type of house he previously had with his wife did not indicate an income of $350,000/year. It was the same type of Home that I bought alone as a single mother working at a job paying me $70,000/year. When I asked him what he did with all that money, he simply told me that he “blew” it on a lot of stuff he did not need… I was thinking “really??”
4. He told me that he had 2 offshore accounts. In each account was $200,000 for each of his 2 kids to pay for their college. ($400,000 total) – He also went on to say that their mom (his ex) was upset because he wouldn’t let her get her hands on the money.
Reality: There was no offshore accounts. Later, he was telling me of all of the work he had to go through applying for College scholarships for his kids, and of course their mom was upset that he was doing this. He said that his ex thought he was being controlling when he was only trying to help his kids get into college. When I reminded him about his “offshore accounts” He said, “Oh you know,,, I want to keep as much of my money to myself as possible”
5. He told me that he would pay the money to put my daughter through college.
Reality: She did not go to the college of his choosing, so he would not pay.
6. He told me that he was a War Veteran in Desert Storm and he was so upset that they did not allow him to have life insurance. Since he could not get life insurance, if something happened to him in the war, his family would suffer (His wife and 2 kids)
Reality: I checked out when the “Desert Storm” took place. It was from (17 January 1991 – 28 February 1991) & he attended high school until he graduated in May of 1991. Not only that, he did not get married until 1996 (5 years after the Desert storm) His first kid born in 1997 and his second kid born in 1998. Things just did not add up here.
7. He told me that he was some kind of local semi-pro boxer in the early 1990s
Reality: His 15 year old daughter was at our home one night when he was talking about his boxing career. She asked him why she has not seen any pictures of him when he was a boxer. His response was, that he didn’t keep any of the photos. He then asked me (in front of his daughter) if I remembered going to his boxing matches. Ummm… NO!
8. He told me that he was previously a Professional Bull Rider and had even suffered broken ribs from being thrown off of the bull, but the big money that he made doing it, made it all worth it.
Reality: I would say that it was a big FAT lie, based on all of the other lies.
I would also say that he just dreamed up huge fantasies about himself and believed his own lies.
9. He told me that he owned the pasture where his “7 horses” stayed and that he rented space to other people for their horses to stay. He also told me that he owned the land surrounding the pasture. He said that he paid the farmers to work the crops and he got the profits.
Reality: He most likely only owned only 2 horses and he was most likely renting space on the pasture from the real owner. He did not own any land around the pasture. The whole time we lived together, he struggled to pay the rent and bills. He was using credit cards for bills and cash advance from those credit cards. He even told me he had to “rob peter to pay paul” in order to pay the rent.
10. He told me that he also owned land in Texas and that his family lived on his land and did all of the labor on the land to grow crops. He said that he paid for and furnished the family with the farm machinery, tractors, etc so that they could make profits. He said he let them keep all of the money and that he was just helping them by buying their equipment.
Reality: Its just not the truth. Because why would a man that did not work or have income, that struggled to pay bills, why would he buy expensive farm equipment out of the goodness of his heart?
11. He said that he owned a reality investment company in the past and that he had employees. He said that each year he would pay for them and their entire families to go on 10 day cruises as a bonus for being his good employees. He said that he also gave them spending money for these cruises.
Reality: I just don’t believe it.
12. He told me that he became a” Millionaire” and he earned this money with his “skills” in stock trading.
Reality: He sent a “screenshot” to me that looked like an account with over 1 million dollars in, but what it was… A summary total of “trades” over a years period of time. Not actual money in an account. What he actually had was 2 small investment accounts(I saw them) and he was stuck in the stock market since early 2012. Meaning he owned his stocks for way less than what they were worth and if he tried to pull cash out, he would take a huge loss that made it not worth the withdrawal.
13. One night when I tried to call him and text, he never responded until the next day. He told me that he had loaned his phone to his step son all night. When I asked if his step son had access to our “texts” he said no because he had a way to lock his texts.
Reality: His phone was not capable of locking texts while the rest of the phone was unlocked. Also, he had previously told me that his ex-wife wanted to stay in their trailer (at a horse show) but he was going to make her stay in a hotel. This was the same night he supposedly loaned the phone to his step son.
14. He told me that he had a small, one garage home that he rented and it was located in the same neighborhood as his kids and ex-wife.
Reality: We quickly got a house together, since he made all of these future promises. Since I was the woman of his dreams and soul mate. He said his lease was up. I never had the chance to see his small rental home. When we moved into our rental home, he had nothing, just his clothes, tools, food spices, steak knives. I asked why he didn’t have a bed, furniture, or TV, he said that he gave it all to his step son who had just moved out and needed things for his new place. He later admitted to sleeping in the same bed with his ex wife sometimes, but said they weren’t doing anything.
15. He said that his ex-wife would not allow him to have sex with her for such a long time that he was pushed into cheating on her.
Reality: He was just a cheater for his own reasons.
16. He said that he was celibate (no sex) for 2 years before getting in relationship with me.
Reality: He constantly talked about one of the women that he cheated on his wife with. He said that she was still trying to contact him, that she would even go to his ex-wife’s job looking for him. That just didn’t make sense.
17. He told me that the same woman he cheated on his wife with got pregnant by him and had a miscarriage.
Reality: Later he said that he told her he would not leave his wife for her, so she decided to have an abortion.
18. His father was sick and living with him for some years before he passed away. He said that his ex wife was horrible and wanted to put his dad in a nursing home. That she said his dad was smelly and disgusting. She did not want him in her home. He did everything to take care of his dad.
Reality: He most likely neglected his dad. A woman from church called the police on him after she took his dad to lunch and his dad told her what was really going on. Also, his dad passed away while living with him and his ex wife and during this time frame was when he told me that he was living in his own rental home. His ex wife was likely the one taking care of his dad, and encouraging him to let his dad stay in their home..
19. He said that his ex wife was a horrible mother, that she would not attend events for the kids, would not cook for them, that she was worthless.
Reality: Almost every year, he took his ex wife and kids on vacations and cruises. He did this during their marriage and after their divorce. When I asked him why he would reward such a bad mother with nice vacations, he just said that he thought it was the right thing to do.
20. He told me that he could communicate with animals on an intelligent level.
Reality: I don’t think so.
21. He told me that he could see clearly in the dark. He said because he had 2 blind parents, he had this gift of sight in the dark.
Reality: I tested him in the dark one time and he failed.
22. He gave me a thorough description of a hike that him and I went on when we were kids with some other kids from church. It took place by a college.
Reality: I did not remember this hike. I called a friend, she said that she was on that hike. A youth leader, another girl and another boy, and my ex. That was it, I was not there.
23. He said that at camp when we were little kids, a tornado swept through the campground and knocked down a bunch of trees. He said all of the men and boys had to clean up the trees out in the hot sun, the next day, while all the women and girls got to swim in the pool.
Reality: I did not remember that, and I asked my brother about it. He said that it never happened. The tornado knocked down one tree and the grounds keepers for the camp took care of clean up.
There are many more stories that he made up during our childhood and teen years, that I cannot mention them all here.
24. He said that a few years back he had a horse that went missing and later it was found in his pasture back in the woods (after weeks of searching) Someone had shot his horse.
Reality: I asked him why someone would just shoot his horse for no reason. He told me that it was because of jealousy. Thinking back, I can remember him going off on a rant about one of his horses that he wanted to kill because he said it “bucked” his daughter off of its back. I can remember the hate in his tone and he really wanted the animal to die even though his daughter was just fine and not hurt. He did not care about the cruelty of his words or potential actions. This leads me to believe that he probably was the one who shot his own horse a few years back.
25. He said that a few years back that he almost got accepted to be a state trooper (police officer) but because of his negative domestic background they decided not to hire him. He said that the negative domestic background was caused by his wife had called the police on him after she was screaming and throwing things at him. In his self defense, he picked her up and placed her outside of their home, and locked her out.
Reality: Based on my experience, he most likely abused her.
26. There was a young man that was close friends with his step son. He said that he financially supported this young man since he was a little boy of 5 (now in his 20s) and that he was still supporting him through college and giving him money every month. He said since the young man had no dad, he wanted to be like a dad to him and help him.
Reality: That same young man called one night, and my ex had him on speaker. They were catching up after not speaking for at least a year. The young man told my ex that is was nice getting to talk to him again after all of this time. (I found that very puzzling)
27. He told me that he believed in EMPOWERING women.
Reality: He degraded, devalued, deceived, betrayed, lied, and manipulated me and others. I don’t find that very empowering.
28. He said that he was coaching his son’s middle school football team and the high school football team every night until 11pm and on weekend games did not come home till 1am.
Reality: When I asked him why he was gone so late every night. (kids had to be up early for school) He said he was spending extra time strategizing with the other coaches. (He was likely at home with his ex wife while I was at home waiting for him to come home)
29. He told me that he took his daughter out of state 9 hours away to a Nationals Horse show. He called me every night and told me how much he loved and missed me.
Reality: Later I saw a picture that his daughter posted of him on face book from her phone with location. He was only 2 hours a way and this was only one day. And this was when he was supposed to be at nationals 9 hours away. When I confronted him, the next lie was that his daughter had 3 different cell phones and each cell phone had a sim card and each sim card shared the same phone number. He said that one of her friends must have had her phone that day and must have posted an old pic of him on her Facebook, since apparently they also had access to her facebook as well. (later in argument, he told me that I was stalking him since I saw that pic his daughter posted of him, and he said I should never look at his facebook)
30. There was a woman that he was texting and she was calling him “baby” he told me that she was his cousin and that she was 10 years older than him and that she always called him baby since he was a baby.
Reality: I later found out that she was a woman that he created a relationship with, while we were living together.
32. He had all of these “cousins” in California that wanted him to come out there and teach them how to trade their money and invest in the stock market. He flew out there and presented seminars to these “cousins” He spent some time on the beach “reflecting” on his relationship with me and how much I meant to him. He came home after signing up 9 new clients. On the drive home from the airport he gave me a long descriptive talk of his experiences in California with all of his cousins.
Reality: He spent 6 days with another woman that he had connected with on Facebook the previous month. (While him and I were living together) She was a woman from his past that he knew about 20 years ago, she was just a friend at the time… but he reconnected with her on facebook and convinced her that they were soul mates. She believed he was a beautiful miracle from God and was sent to her. Oh… and he never had any clients.
33. A couple of weeks after he came home from his “business trip” he told me that a man in California was offering to pay him $500,000 if he would move to California for 6 months and trade his money. Also, this man was going to pay his living expenses and give him a furnished place to live in while he was there. Of course, he did not want me to go with him, and he also wanted me to find another place to live, since he was planning to give up the rental home that we were living in.
Reality: No one is going to pay a stock trader/investor any money upfront for the “probability” of a gain on their investment. And definitely not $500,000! An investor does not have to live in the same state as their clients. He was not a licensed investor or stock trader. All he ever did was his own personal trading from a trading platform that only allowed people to trade their own personal money. Also, he previously told me how horrible of a mother his ex wife was, so why would he leave his kids? He said that they did not even like their mom. What would happen to all of his horses? He still wanted to be with me, and he wanted his dog to live with me and he would come visit twice a month. The reality? He wanted me out of the house, so his new girlfriend could come visit. He wasn’t going anywhere. And as I found out later, they had a wedding planned.
34. One night he had a “pretend” conversation with the guy who was going to pay him $500,000 to invest and move to California. The guy was telling him it was urgent to fly out as soon as possible. And he had a flight lined up for the next day. (Yes he was having this pretend conversation in front of me, there was no one on the phone with him, it was so obvious) I asked him why this guy wanted him to fly out so soon, and right before thanksgiving. He said, that he didn’t know and that maybe this guy had an opportunity for him.
Reality: He was going to visit his new girlfriend for Thanksgiving and he was going to ask her dad for her hand in marriage.
35 He put a beautiful diamond wedding ring on my finger one night, and he said that it had belonged to his mom that had passed away over 14 years prior. The problem was, that it was brand new in a brand new box. (He told me that it had been refurbished) The other problem was that his mom was blind, she had to take public transportation (bus) and she lived in a high crime area. There is no way that she could have had a ring like that and kept it, someone would have stolen it from her. Also, his parents could not afford that ring!
Reality: This was the ring that he bought for his new girlfriend that he made wedding plans with. When I described it, she told me that was “her” ring, and that she picked it out by sending him pictures of what she wanted. That his daughter even helped him get it. He put this same ring on my finger the night before he got on the plane to visit her for thanksgiving and ask her hand in marriage. (while he was flying out, she got a message from me, that is how we connected, and he was completely blindsided by what I did, and the lies he gave her were outrageous!! He came back the same night with the ring)
36. He told me that he was never in a relationship with this woman, the ring really did belong to his mom, if anyone was getting a ring that it would be me. He said that he only used her for spiritual guidance, she was simply an investment strategy, since her family had money. And that she was pursuing him all along, and she knew about me but didn’t care.
Reality: He pursued her, he made promises to her, he convinced her that they were soul mates, he never mentioned me.
37. The night before he flew out to visit and propose to her, he took me for ice cream. We were sitting in his truck and he was having a very emotional conversation with me. He told me that he felt that he was making a huge mistake by moving to California for $500,000 and leaving me here. He was so upset and he started crying because he was making such a bad decision.
Reality: He was going to see his new “soulmate” and he was not moving anywhere, he just wanted me to move so she could visit. Fake tears.
38. Other times he would be outside talking to someone for hours. When he came inside and I was in bed, he would be pretending to be on the phone with a family member. He said “Oh, maybe you can talk to my girlfriend next time, she is asleep right now”
Reality: There was no one on the phone with him, he just wanted me to think he was on the phone with family or someone who knew of our relationship.
39. He was part of the NFLPA (National Football League Players Association) He told me that he got last minute tickets to the super bowl in 2013 in New Orleans. He brought his son, and they got to go to the NFLPA banquet with famous football players and him and his son were hanging out on Bourbon Street.
Reality: First of all he was never a pro football player so he was NOT a part of the NFLPA. Second, when I asked for pictures, He told me that the players did not want their pictures taken at the banquet because it was private. When he did send me pictures of the super bowl, the pictures were all taken of what was on a TV screen. He was not in New Orleans.
40. He wanted me to move back in with him after all that happened with his fake client base in California. He promised to pay off my current lease and moving expenses.
Reality: He couldn’t afford that, and I said no.
41. He started planning a cruise for me and him to go on, until I saw text messages where he was planning a cruise with his ex wife also. When I confronted him, he said that he was only trying to trick her, and he wanted her to be jealous when she saw him and I on a cruise.
Reality: He went “fishing” on Facebook for his NEXT new victim. And he found yet another woman from his way back past. He planned a cruise with her and had not even talked to her for at least 22 years! And she was living out of state! But he was convinced he had a new “soul mate” and he told her that he had even bought her a ring!! (she was the 3rd Soul Mate in a years time that I know of, I was #1)
42. He told me that he became friends with the police in the small town that we lived in together. He told me that we lived in a safe town.
Reality: He brought a baseball bat into our home, and kept it next to his bed. When I asked him why he brought the bat in the house, he said “You think I am going to hurt you, don’t you?” And he had a creepy smile while he said it.
44. When we were watching a movie about Queen Elizabeth, there was a scene where her sister wanted to poison her. He told me that the “b*****” needed to die. Then he asked me how many people I have killed. I said none, of course. Then I asked him how many people he has killed. He told me that he was keeping that information to himself.
Reality: I have no idea.
45. He was so upset with his ex-wife because she gave his son a hotdog for dinner and that athletes do not eat hotdogs. He felt that she should die or be “offed” for giving his son a hotdog and being too lazy to cook a real meal for him.
Reality: He was jealous because she was dating someone else.
There are so many more lies and inconsistencies from him, but this would be an ENTIRE book!! Some of these lies are just so outrageous, and I am glad that I can finally look back and laugh. I wish I did not waste so much of my life on him. I am thankful for the lesson I learned, and I am also thankful for my life! One thing I do know is that it could have been so much worse. There was a highly publicized news story in the USA in December of 2002.. It was about Scott Peterson (a sociopath) That murdered his pregnant wife Laci Peterson. One of the reasons he got caught, was because his new girlfriend came forward and testified. One month before Laci disappeared, Scott told his new girlfriend, that he still had not met the right woman for him, then shortly after he said that, he told her that actually his wife had passed away. This is one month before he murdered her!! Thank God the new woman was smart enough to testify.
The way I look at it is that any sociopath can have a past that we don’t know about, or they may have recently done something and not gotten caught, or they could be getting ready to do something horrible. I am just so thankful that I escaped alive and healthy!
Oh gosh thank you for sharing!! Unbelievable the lies that they tell …. Thank you. I bet it was good therapy for you to write this down!!
Your welcome @ PositivaGirl! It was definitely good therapy! I actually have made all kinds of lists about him before.. “Lies” “Red Flags” “Truths” (There were some rare truths) Through out the relationship and for a time, after the relationship, I would write out things that happened, my feelings, etc. I even started keeping a daily journal when I was with him, of things he was doing. I knew things were getting crazy, and I wanted to keep record. The thing is, I can still think of new things that I just remembered. Writing things out, really helps me put things into perspective! And after doing this exercise, wow! I did not get all of the lies written down in here because there are way too many!! But I did get some of his most ridiculous lies written, and the “realities” Writing the realities after the lies was very helpful to me, even though I don’t know all of the realities! And yes it is definitely unbelievable the lies they tell!! I can see where some of his lies, seemed to be for the purpose of intimidating me, and others were to paint a beautiful picture of himself! I remember some of your posts mentioning that a sociopath is a salesman without the product! Well, I was in sales for many years. I sold products that I believed in, and in training we were taught many techniques of persuasion, and picture painting so that the “prospect” would feel that it was their idea. I remember when I was with him, feeling that he was some kind of twisted sales person trying to sell himself to me. It was like he had these “techniques”, but I already had a salesperson mind and he was not really fooling me. Maybe that is part of the reason, I caught on so quickly. When I was in sales, I had great intentions to help people solve whatever their problem was, and if I did not have the solution, I was ok with that. With him, intentions were most definitely evil! I really appreciate you Positiva, for taking the time out to read the long list of ridiculous lies told by my ex-sociopath!
Just one point of clarification…American troops, including reserves, were in Desert Storm well past ’91.
@Jusagirl Well thanks for that info, I did not know that about desert storm. I just did a quick check, All I know is that in the early 90s, my ex sociopath completed 4 years of college as a football star, played semi pro football a few years, played NFL around 5 years, also played for NFL in California, was a semi pro boxer, did professional bull riding, owned a reality business and sent his employees on cruises that he paid for, and was a desert storm war Veteran. Its pretty hard for me to believe all of that. Especially when I know for sure that most of it is not true…. Oh, I just remembered that during that time period, he also said that he coached college football and took them to championships.. I was wondering… Did desert storm go past 1998? His second child was born in 1998 and he claims he was in desert storm after both of his kids were born.
Oh I’m not saying this validates his claims. More likely he could’ve known of someone in Desert Storm ;-). And yes, I do believe occupation extended past the 90s.
Thanks @Jusagurl – Its really hard to research everything he told me. I could not even fit all of his lies in this post. Obviously the entire relationship was a lie, except for my part. I was honest. It is just crazy all of the lies sociopaths tell and I have no idea, how they think people will just believe them. I looked back and read your comment. Its crazy what he put you through and the lies. I know with me, I got to the point where when he was talking all I could think was “liar, liar” I could never believe anything he said.
Hi @Jusagirl, I still only can find 1991 for the date of gulf war/ desert storm. My info states it was a 6 months. Can you tell me where to find the info on how long the war actually took place?
I don’t know what’s published or available on the internet, I just knew people who were enlisted.
I just thought of a few more silly lies that my ex-sociopath told:
1. He said that he paid his Ex-wife $3000. per month in child support for his (at the time) 15 yr old daughter and 14 yr. old son.
Reality: He did not have a job or income. What money he did have was tied up in the stock market because he did and still does own his share for way higher than what they are worth.
2. He told me that he was in the top 50 personal investors of TDAmeritrade and he turned his dad’s $250,000 into 1.6 million with in 5 years while his dad spend $5000/month on expenses.
Reality: His dad was blind and lived in low income housing.
3. He told me that when him and I were teenagers, that I was begging him to have a threesome with him and his girlfriend.
Reality: Back then I had no interest in him other than a friend. I would never do something like that. (He was pretty convincing though it did not happen)
I’m a 25 year old virgin.
I’ve climbed everest and seen a dead body there. I collect my urine and poop in a bag to keep integrity of the mountains i climb.
I broke into a kfc and cooked up a feast of food for myself.
I work in management at a petrol station, earning over 100k and they only require me to work 10 hours per week.
My ex-boyfriend, a true sociopath, said to me very recently “Do you ever think you will find anyone who compares to me?” “Is there anyone else who could stimulate you the way I can? I won’t dedicate myself to you but you stand to gain orgasms. You’re just not mature enough to see this.”
Ha ha ha ha!
Hahahaha indeed Tanya – gain orgasms? How up themselves are they?
My ex’s lies are so pointless,but I guess that’s a sociopath for you.
I’ve had it all. He was a manager,with 750 people under him,regaling in the seminars he gave to a1000 people… He was a salesman,I later found out.
Head hunted to be a professional footballer,then formula 1 racing,Mmm:-/
A bouncer in his younger days,even telling me a story,of an upper class wedding,where he was head bouncer,and had sex with the bride at the wedding reception.
How he was desperatey Ill when he was 7 yrs old,in hospital,this i later found out,a story he’d stolen from someone else.
How he owned 25 houses at one point,and was nearly a millionaire on paper
Omg….. How do they repeatedly tell these lies,and never forget them.???!
No point confronting them,they’ll only deny it.
And….. When the relationship is over,do any of us hear the one word, Sorry…. No,off course not,as it’s not in their vocabulary:-(
You know Lynne – I always smile before i read the comment, whenever I see that there is a comment on this post. As I know – I will laugh. NO, they won’t say sorry, this isn’t relevant. They just say whatever they feel they need to whenever they can. You comment made me smile though – thank you!! 🙂
Gosh, there are SO many… I’ll just mention the ones I can remember right now.
I met my ex-husband online. He told me his first wife had been killed in a car accident. She was, and still is, very much alive (we’ve since swapped stories), and at that moment, they weren’t even separated yet.
He told me he was a US Marshall. He was in fact unemployed while his first wife worked three jobs to support him and their two children. (And PS: He told me he had no kids).
He told me he’d been in the Army since he was 17, that he went to Ranger School, and that he’d been on missions in Iraq, Somalia and Bosnia. When we watched the movie “Blackhawk Down”, he had a “panic attack” in the theatre and had to leave before it was over, because it was “just like being there (in Somalia) again”. He told me he kept having nightmares about a time when he was in Bosnia, and he found the severed leg of an infant.
In the real world, however, he was in the Navy for a few years, but he was NEVER deployed anywhere!
He told me that he was unable to reproduce because of nerve gasses used by Iraqi troops. When I finally figured him out about a year after I left him, his first wife told me that he’d had a vasectomy after their second child.
By then I also found out, that at the time when he told me his dad had died (my ex was American, I am Danish. I never had any contact with his family during the ten years we were together) he had in fact not. He had died about 3-4 years later than that.
He also told me that he had a nephew, who was killed in a helicopter accident in Iraq. The nephew in question is still very much alive, and though he was in fact in the Army, he was never even sent to Iraq.
I could LITERALLY go on all night and not be done. But I won’t. I have other plans right now.
Brilliant Anne thank you for sharing, you made me laugh. I know it shouldn’t be funny. At the time when we realise that we have been duped, it is stunning and we wonder how we could have been so stupid, it wasn’t that. Just that they are brilliant at hiding and being deceptive. Masters of illusion. Thank you for your comment, made me smile!! 🙂
My ex-sociopath-husband once went on a group job interview where the interviewer asked the group what they hoped to accomplish within the company (it was a corporate job). The ex says – I want to have your job!. What??? Somehow he was hired but was ultimately fired for being caught stealing equipment – WELL AWARE HE WAS ON CAMERA !!!!! And said when questioned – yep, I did that – LOL Are you kidding me?
🙂 🙂 🙂
My ex-sociopath-husband went on a group job interview for a corporate job. The group was asked – What did they aspire to achieve within the company. The ex says – I want your job. (Seriously). He was somehow hired and was ultimately fired for stealing equipment, knowing full well he was on camera – Really!~ When questioned about it he said – Yep! I did that! Are you kidding ME?
My sons drove 1300 miles to get me….. He didn’t know I was going…i christened it Mission saving Mum 😊
So… I told my ex I was leaving,because he’d lied about his whole life.
He actually laughed,and said he’d only ever told me one lie.
So….. That one lie,I guess was that he was a compulsive liar 😂😂
The mans a classic….he should have been on the stage 😳😳
Haha… I so thank you for commenting on this post Lynne. I hadn’t seen it in a long time. I had forgotten about the ridiculous things that he had told me.
I recall also, him telling me that he was doing counselling every Tuesday. He would be all flurried, and say ‘can’t talk now, I am on my way to counselling’. Every week he was unavailable. Then he told me that his counsellor would send me a questionnaire about him!!! haha, lol now he said this, despite that he knew that I had completed qualifications in counselling, and i worked in that kind of field. Counsellors don’t send out questionnaires to ex girlfriends, he said that he was sending on to his other ex, the mother of his child too. And could I complete?
At this…. I just knew…. he was lying. What is funny, is when caught in the lie, they either a) get angry (most common) or b) pretend that its nothing, like lying is the most normal thing in the world.
Why, yes, she still actually lives with me, but we are no longer engaged. In fact when we go to “insert European country” we will be pretending to get married with our outlandish ceremony in a castle with all of our family present, but we are not really going to sign the US marriage license, since we are technically still broken up.
Actuality: It looked like a wedding from the pictures that he sent to our mutual friends, but I haven’t spoken to him since that last BS conversation.
Did I miss part pf your comment nyg? As i am unsure whether it is making sense to me.
Maybe this is a bit of a strange thing to say,but I was asked by a psychologist friend recently,if my ex was into hard porn.? I was a bit taken aback,but said yes. He said,he’d picked up a lot about my ex,when he first met him,but never said anything to me,because he presumed I was happy.
Anyway,I caught him at 3am one morning….and just said,it’s a pity our sex life wasn’t as good,as the one he had with himself!!!
Seeing his face,was a picture,as with everything else,he thought he was the greatest lover,since Casanova 😊
My ex is my daughter’s father. He runs sweatlodge and took advantage of the women and men who participated, trusting him as the ‘sweat lodge leader’. Examples of his lies:
1)” I need to borrow your truck/vehicle.” [In fact, he had no driver’s licence – probably taken from him due to his lack of child support for his previous 4 children with his prior wife]
2) “You’ll never be happy unless you do x” [E.g., enter/complete my PhD studies. In fact, he used my educational status to increase his stature and clout to have a ‘PhD’ researcher backing him on any of his claims]
3)”I’m the Environmental Embassador for the Blackfoot Sovereign Nation.” [In fact, the formal council of Hereditary Chiefs denounced him as an imposter in writing, but he claimed ‘they’ had gotten to them, and that the elders he introduced me to, whom he had also manipulated with empty promises, were the real ‘First Lady’ and Hereditary Chief of the Blackfoot Nation.]
4) “I was an EMT” [His last wife told me he had in fact just taken 2 months of training]
5) “I was RCMP” [ Again, confirmed by his last wife that he had only registered/applied for the training as an Aboriginal quota applicant but had not in fact been accepted]
6) “I was a Game Warden” [Again, confirmed by his last wife, that he had only been in training but never actually worked as a Warden. In fact, according to his last wife, he never worked/was always ‘in between jobs’, and relied on her income to support himself and their 4 kids, even while she was in full-time school]
7) “She is delusional and has mental problems” [spoken about a couple of women who regularly attended sweat lodge and openly flirted with him. In fact, one of those women had been having some kind of an affair with him for over a year, which she happily informed me about while also asking me to run the next sweatlodge]
8) “She just needs a friend and I am her spiritual counsellor” [spoken about another young woman whom he had brought home from the bus station to his bachelor apartment. When asked where she would sleep, since he only had a single bed/cot, she pointed to her sleeping bag and mentioned that she had other friends she could go to. I left them to it. A year later, when I was already 7 months pregnant with his child, this young lady came to my fire and confided in me that he had actually forced himself upon her that evening. She blamed herself, saying she could have tried harder to push him away. I asked her: “Did you say ‘no’ or ‘stop?” She confirmed that she had. After I questioned her, it fell on me like a load of bricks that although I was able to identify his rape of her, it had taken me this long, and this questioning, to see the mirror of how we had been having ‘sex’ for the majority of our 5-year turbulent relationship. –that he had been raping me for the majority of our relationship…
9) “Bad things happen to you right after a ceremony if you’re messed up” [ Actually this wasn’t a lie, but it shows how far he will go to manipulate people in order to protect himself–He used me to run sweatlodge while he received the offerings. He brought his children with him to one Sundance where they had a minor car accident on the way back> using them and their innocence as his shield –This is one of the most despicable things I find about this man–his sheer disregard for the innocence that he throws in front of the bus to protect his own depraved hide and self-absorbed self-interest.]
10) “He is my nemesis” [Then, within 5 minutes, he wrangles his way over to this prominent community leader to ‘butter him up’ for a potential consultation contract]
11) “You are my last wife” [In fact, after I kicked him out of my house, he managed to convince a kind Japanese widow to be his newest ‘last wife’]
12) “I’m so misunderstood. I’m the ‘bad Indian'” [In fact, these statements are true – it’s just that he presents it in a way to deflect from the fact that he himself is the root cause for his own self-misunderstanding and bad character. He is misunderstood because he regularly twists the truth. And he is a ‘Bad Indian’ because he continues to abuse his power as an alleged ‘spiritual counsellor’/’medicine man’ to reap sexual and material favours/subservience from his confounded minions….<>
13) “I wouldn’t go to that talk – those people are messed up and fooling around with the wrong medicinees” [spoken as advisement to me when I had been invited to speak about ‘polyamourousness’ to a subgroup of some sweatlodge participants. I found out later that he had indulged in hallucinogenic drugs with some of them, and of course, was having affairs with likely more than one of them. Had I gone ahead and presented my talk, I likely would have found out much sooner that he had been such a raging hypocrite]
To this day, we have had no contact. He has never met my daughter, I am her Sole Parent, and this was one of the hardest but likely also the most important decision i had to make regarding my family’s overall health and well being. Caveat emptor! (and I agree, they should all get shipped off to an Island of sociopaths…for our televised entertainment:)
I was laughing until I got to the number 8, where you said that you realised that he had been raping you for years, without you realising that was what it was. How did that make you feel coming to that realisation?
The best lie I had was when I found messages on his phone implying his ex had given him oral sex! His response was it was a joke, she’s a transvestite!
In fact she was his ex GF who lived down the road!
Funnily enough, he told ME the truth about his ex, but he told me he was going to tell his Ex I was a LIVES Doctor, (I was actually a security guard at a local factory) OMG CRINGE!
It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people for this topic, but you seem like you know what you’re talking about!
Thanks
Mr. sociopath said: I’m a manager at a private vending company and work alongside the owner of the company ALL day everyday! The Truth: He is a delivery driver for Aramark filling up vending machines with snacks and coffee. And he hardly works alongside the ‘owner.’ Mr. sociopath:Since u and i stopped seeing each other last year I have had 7 disastrous relationships,and with every girl’s story they turned out to be completely insane.The Truth: They were in all probability relatively or completely sane until he showed up. Absolutely NO accountability EVER. The sociopath: Baby i love u and have missed u sooo much that i can’t stop thinking about u!! I only want U! The Truth: Just to see if he was all in with what he was saying, I placed a fake ad on a dating site I knew he frequented last year. He was actually on his way over to my place but had time to be one of the first responders to the fake ad!! So I answered his reply an made small talk and then asked if he was single. His answer: OH I’M VERY SINGLE AND SEEKING! Soon as he walked through my door 30 minutes later I showed him the fake ad and said ‘get ur very single an seeking ass the fuck outa my house and my life!! He was shocked. He thought I would never go against him and dupe him. Ha! Twas a pleasure. They really r not very bright. Bye bye sucker!
lol that is funny!! 🙂
He says his Grandma died and he can’t afford to fly to her funeral. He receives pity and attention from countless friends, and convinced his boss to fly him out for the service.
Reality: he’s a registered sex offender and was about to miss his check up appointment in SC, where he wanted authorities to believe he lived. Grandma was still alive, despite her several former “deaths.”
—–
He’s a well-loved musician in need of surgery on his eye. He’s already had it on one eye, but needs the other now. So he has a church host a giant fundraiser to earn what he needs.
Good news? The money was raised! Bad news? He’s had enough fundraisers for the same eye to pay for 5 surgeries. ….. Oh – and he probably spent that money on something else already. But not rent. He never pays rent.
Ha brilliant!! I love it!!
Here are just a few doozies mine told me:
“You sent me a phished email on AOL which I warned you was a corrupt server. I opened it and it ruined my hard drive. I had to get a new computer and I lost precious files plus thousands of dollars in work that I had to pass up.” Reaiity: It was a way to get money from me by making me feel guilty. I gave him $5,000 which I borrowed from my credit card and which I will never get back.
“I can’t call you at night or wknds b/c that’s when I do my work.” Reality: he was living with his ex wife and that’s when she was there.
“I can’t have you to my house (I would travel several hundred miles to see him in MO b/c he never had money to come see me in MI and we would stay at a hotel paid by me) b/c I live in a shitty neighborhood and I’m embarrassed.” To prove this, he told me at various times that his gutters were stolen by illegal Mexicans for the metal; the house across the street was burgled by illegal Mexicans; there were several families of illegal Mexicans living in the house and garage down the street; he awoke in the middle of the night to find, you guessed it, an illegal Mexican in his house and he held him down with his Glock until the police arrived; and there were 2 high school girls racing down the street late at night and they smashed into a parked truck and were killed instantly. Reality: None of this was substantiated by any news reports or police records that I could find, and I used to be a reporter.
“I love you. I tell you things I’ve never told anybody.” Reality: you’re a fuxxing liar and I was your source of supply.
I’ll bet Donald Trump is his hero.
hahahahaha you made me laugh, thanks for sharing!!! I know its not funny when you are going through it. its SO hurtful, but looking back, its amazing the shit they come out with.
Had just finished Uni gaining a 2:1 could have had a first but turned it down as someone needed it more than he did.
Worked for F1, possibly Williams in 1993-1994 only at the weekends, as he was an aero engineer and they would need him there. Sad he flew once in a private jet with David Coulthard.
Reality- he worked on areo wind tunnel trials in Uni. On finishing uni he moved back to his home town, and worked in an office in a clothing factory
Time lines for his early career were all over the place he offered to show me his CV and I said yes please, I never got to see it
Hahaha omg lol unbelievable huh?
(on breakup)
It’s ok, I know you don’t really care- but I’ve been diagnosed with stage 3 prostate cancer.
(A week later) it’s progressed to stage 4, it’s also ‘hip bone’ cancer, diagnosed with 40 months to live(stage 4 posted on fb- along with how he is now unsupported, left him to die etc)
(Another week later..) “yep. Sad to see the old balls go- they are removing my testicles today, wish me luck!” (..sorry, huh?)
…one month later… “Everyone stay away, I’m radioactive”
….another month later… “I’ve been healed!” Let’s now praise a societal hero!
The extent sociopaths will go to to manipulate and gaslight someone at any costs is a disgrace and they are a waste of precious oxygen. You can’t have someone grow a conscience- people need to be aware of these predators, because that is exactly what they are. No different to a murderer or pedophiles.
Yep cancer one is a favourite of theirs.
My Ex told me his ex (who was better than me in every way possible) had a CASTLE in South Africa! Truth, she had a small one bed rented apartment above a shop!
O mg!!
They are incredibly ridiculous and funny sometimes!
My S wanted me to get pregnant and carry his baby. He : a 71 yrs old guy with erectile dysfunction and vasectomy done many years back. Me : a woman of 53 after menopausa.
He described how we were going to move to the UK and live there. He the financial plan and all costs ( car, petrol, rent, utilities, groceries, etc.) came to 5,000 dollars in total. No problem, I can afford it!
Reality : he was a bankrupt living pension to pension, unable to save any money with nowhere to live, no possessions, only had one old bag with a few items of clothing, an old towel and a toothbrush – all his wordly possessions ( after moving out from his ex he had nowhere to stay, nobody wanted to tak him home and he got rid of all his things) .
For a while he was living with his friend who “had” a house and made money renting out rooms in it.
One day S said, ” My friend and I have rented out the whole house and have to move out at the end of next month.”
Truth : his friend did not own the house, very probably he only house- sat for the owner. Apparently, they all got evicted and were told to get out.
Really funny jerks!
Love these stories. Thanks for sharing.
Can I add funny/ tragic BS:
‘I was respected mover and shaker in overseas consulate greeting and hosting international delegates and facilitating international trade deals.’
Reality: She was an intern on trial contract with huge student debt and opened doors and made the tea when foreign delegates were arriving and waiting. Was too lazy to work hard so she tried to charm older men into better job position but they soon figured it out and gave her a non job with no actual workload, so could just wind her up at end of trial.
I know a 45 year old sociopath that has made an elaborate lie of saying that she was going to the 2016 Olympics for Taekwondo. The government was flying her & her partner 1st class on Emirates and she could take 7 people at no cost to themselves, however she was only taking him. We all know that Qantas is the sponsor for the Olympics in Aus LOL. They only fly the athletes economy and anyone else who wants to go has to pay for themselves. I have met other Olympic athletes.
They had their bags packed and on the morning they were waiting to be picked up she allegedly got a phone call telling her that Taekwondo has cancelled all Australian Entries for this sport in the Rio Olympics and she was the only qualifier. Her new boyfriend was so disappointed as he was ready and waiting with a suitcase. He is an Apath and is willing to pretend so that he doesn’t appear weak and he is getting other benefits from the relationship at this stage. It wasn’t cancelled as we had two men and two women in the sport representing Aus.
It’s a stupid lie and easily researched on google. She doesn’t even do Taekwondo and to take one look at her you can tell she hasn’t been in any sort of training haha. There isn’t one trophy or photo in her home either for someone that has been doing this sport for “25 years” and is at Olympic level. She has even gone as far as having black hoodies printed with her name on them saying that they are from the committee.
She showed me a photo of herself in a cage fight. It didn’t even look like her so I googled the image. It was an American MMC fighter.
This is just one elaborate lie of many, however, I thought it to be the most entertaining.
🙂 thank you for sharing!