Sometimes you meet someone, and the red flag is there, shouting yelling at us. RED FLAG, it is there waving on a pole, blowing in the wind. DO NOT DATE THIS MAN
Often it is just our gut feeling, the initial gut feeling. That something is not right. But we cannot place what it is about them.
Usually they are:
Funny, witty, charming, great company, often quite sexy, or they will have that edge about them which gives sex appeal (its too much testosterone), they have NO nerves, and seem very confident.
Aside from that, they LOOK very normal they DRESS very normal.
So, how are you going to know? When you meet a sociopath (i mean a proper sociopath, not one who thinks he is dexter) they are almost always, in your face and over confident. They can be polite and well mannered. After all they are charming. They ‘appear’ to be thinking about your needs. But…. if you look closely enough when he is peering at you, there is a lot going on behind the eyes. You can see him registering you, it can feel like he is ‘sizing you up for lunch’ ….
He probably is.
They are witty, they are usually intelligent too. This of course makes sense. They do not rely on their emotions like others do, instead almost everything that they do is a calculated move. If you look carefully enough, you can see the cogs working behind the scenes, the eyes can look blank, or show a lot of activity.
When you meet a sociopath, he won’t look like some crazy, with a sinister presence. Although the way that he intensely stares at you might feel slightly intense. The sociopath can carry this off, with a romantic air. The sociopath is the real life casanova and will not look remarkably different to anybody else. The sociopath:
- Acts normal (in fact so normal you can’t believe your luck)
- Dresses normal
- Appears normal
- Can be found anywhere, in the workplace, in a club, in a bar, in a coffee shop, in a library, in a supermarket , in a church – you get the picture, absolutely anywhere.
The sociopath, compared to some of the loons that you have dated in the past, appears more ‘normal’ than anyone that you have ever met. Pay attention if he:
- Showers you with attention and flattery
- Is very charismatic and charming
- Initially oversteps the mark with ‘personal space’
- Has an intense gaze and stare
- Asks you lots of questions
- Appears just too good to be true
- Makes lots of promises to you, promising you an ideal future (check actions with words)
- Wants to be ‘very’ involved in all areas of your life
- Is very ‘nosey’
- Tells amazing stories, that sound unbelievable (it probably is)
- Plays victim about events in his past. Will paint themself as the victim of past events, and the ideal, perfect catch
Listen to yourself, and trust your gut intuition. Many people who have been involved with sociopaths report how they had ‘warning signs’, or ‘red flags’ in the very beginning, but chose to ignore their inner self. Meeting a sociopath can teach you a lot, mostly learning to trust yourself. Additionally, a sociopath will teach you to take care of yourself, and to start to put your own needs first. Maybe this was a skill that you needed to learn? Or a way that you hadn’t been before? Yes it will change you, and you will likely not be the same again….. but maybe, this is a good thing to learn?
Words © datingasociopath.com 2013