Tomorrow is always a blank piece of paper. Make sure that you colour tomorrows paper with your own crayons. Visualise the life that you want to live… not the life that you have lived.

If you find this hard. Stay with the present. Right NOW. Take care of right now, and you will find yourself, taking care of you.

Sometimes the sociopath has taken a long time to take you, and your life down. Don’t expect to resolve all of these issues and feelings overnight. Just focus on what you can do right now.

Even if you have lost everything, the most important thing that you must first recover is yourself.

If you have lost jobs, home, finances, friends, family, reputation, self esteem and self respect. Start simple. Focus on the simple. This start begins with you. You can do this by focusing on the present right now.

Try not to focus on what is going to happen in the future or what has happened in the past, if you find your mind wandering, try to think of a way to bring yourself back to RIGHT NOW. Look at your surroundings. Write a list of all the GOOD that you still have left in your life. Try to let go of the fear.

Letting go of the sociopath will help you to grow.

Try not to focus on the fact that you are alone either… at least you have yourself. Once you find YOU again, you will begin to feel so much stronger.

Find your passions. Find the old you – who was you BEFORE you met the sociopath? What made you tick? What did you like to do? All of these things are YOU. The REAL you, not who the sociopath turned you into.

It can be hard to believe in yourself, when you have had your confidence and self esteem smashed apart, but – believe in yourself!!! Try to be the very best that you can be, for YOU… not for anybody else, but for you. When you take care of you, everything else will start to fall into place.

What is important, more than anything is to live for love – not fear. If you are feeling negative, or frightened, how can you find a way to turn those thoughts around? Look at the feeling, ask yourself, is this love or fear based. if it is based on fear – then change that thought. Write it down. If you write it down, you can look back and see your progress. If you have a slip, don’t be too hard on yourself. Get back up, get out your clean piece of paper, and start colouring in your life again.

You choose the colours, you choose the patterns. You can create your own life. You can really heal yourself. what is important is to start small, stay with the present – right now…. and you will grow again faster than you ever thought possible.

• Remember, tomorrow hasn’t happened yet, your worst fears might never happen. Most of the time the things that we fear in life most, never actually happen. You could spend your life living in fear, and the sociopath will be more than happy to provide a bucketload of fear for you to worry about – that is, if you allow them to.

• If you find your mind wandering – pay attention to your surroundings. Look at what is left and GOOD in your life. Call an old friend. Do art, be free, let go of self imposed restrictions, and try not to care how good or bad it is, don’t think of the end result, get creative. Let go…. Listen to music you love. Put on a great dvd. Anything to keep you with the present. To be right with the moment, and love your right now.  The truth is, that the present, and right now is ALL that you have control over. If you take care of the present you will start to take back control over you.

Now is the time to start taking care of you. You cannot fix anybody else, you know this, but can almost certainly fix YOU.

PS…. don’t forget the no contact. You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it. The sociopath will, can and does hijack your thoughts… and your life. So take back your own life and find the inner beauty of you. Find your magic again, find what makes you tick, what makes you proud, what is very unique and individual about you!

PPS – also remember that you can still do colouring with broken crayons!!

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