All sociopaths lie. Most people tell the odd white lie. You might lie about why you are late for work to your boss. You might embellish the truth sometimes. You might lie to save somebody else’s feelings and to not hurt them.
The sociopath is in another category of lying. The sociopath is a compulsive, pathological liar. The sociopath lies about EVERYTHING. In fact, the sociopath lies more often than they tell the truth. They find it easier to lie, than they do to be honest.
Sociopaths lie for the following reasons
- For protection – to create a false persona of who they really are
- So that you do not find out about them and their past
- So that they can manipulate and deceive you, for their own gain
- To be in control
- To lure you into a false sense of security, so that you become addicted to them
- Telling you all that you want to hear
- They don’t care about you or your feelings, winning and being in control, is the most important thing
- They suffer from boredom easily
- To gain sympathy and play victim
- They find it easier to lie than to tell the truth
- The sociopath feels safer behind the lie. The lie is the sociopaths friend and is the sociopaths mask of protection
Sociopaths lie to deceive, manipulate and to get what they want. They lie to obtain things from people by deception. Their lies can be outrageous. It is true that the more outrageous the lie, the more likely it is that it will be believed. At the end, when the truth comes out, the victim is left spinning, and absolutely confused.
The sociopath will start lying from day one. You, to the sociopath are a target. The sociopath is the predator. The sociopath will assess you to see if you have what they want. If you do, they will mirror you, to be the person that you are looking to find, to build false trust, so that you will allow them close.
Here is a list of the lies that were told to me by the last person I was with.
1. He had a job, which was a professional job earned a lot of money.
Truth – he was unemployed. He got out of this one, by elaborate fake calls in front of me, that he was losing his job
2. He was going to get a large payment of money – and that he had temporarily lost his bank card. He wore clothes that looked like they cost money.
Truth – he never had any money in the entire time I knew him
3. He had no debts
Truth – if this was true it was because he had never taken financial responsibility
4. He owned his last house. He bought it outright and left it in a trust fund for his daughter
Truth – he never owned a house. The last house was rented from a social housing landlord. His ex almost lost the house when he didn’t pay the rent.
5. He is getting £3,000 put into his bank account and was buying an Alfa Romeo car.
Truth – There was no money – he couldn’t drive either
6. His last house was burgled
Truth – this never happened
7. He would pay 3 months rent in advance if he moved in with me
Truth – He never paid a penny
8. He was a very moral man. He mirrored my values. Would tell me what a good father he was. His phone would ring and he would take calls from his daughter every other day. He told me he had her to stay every other weekend.
Truth – He hadn’t seen his daughter in years. The calls were faked. He would set the alarm on his phone to ring to have fake calls (in front of my face) fake father to daughter caring conversations his daughter. None of this was true. He was talking to himself, and as his phone rang, I didn’t suspect that he was lying. These fake calls were designed to give the illusion that he was a trustworthy, reliable, down to earth man.
9. He had another 3 fake jobs. That he was always going to get paid for, (so I was forced to financially support him as he was living in my house). There was always the story that there was going to be money in the bank on Friday. He would get up, at 6am to go to work all day, returning home at 5.30pm. He would wander the streets all day – or sit in the library. He never had a job. He didn’t know anybody in my city either. He had dupers delight from conning me, and getting me further into debt. It would have been easier for him to have said that he didn’t have a job. Instead, he faked them, and the more that he got away with it, the more he enjoyed the elaborate art of conning and getting away with it.
10. The most outrageous and elaborate lie, that he kept up for months, before running away was that he told me that the mother of his child was dying of cancer. He would make fake calls in front of me, to the hospital, his ex, his daughter, to solicitors. He told me that his daughter was coming to live with us, the mother would be dead in a week, then she would be dead imminently within 2 days, it was so much drama. At the time, it was also incredibly upsetting, and so very dramatic. He cried real tears. He really threw himself into actor in this position and carried it out for months. When I suspected that he might be lying and faking the whole thing, he would yell at me “how could I be so heartless, his daughters mother was dying, his daughter would be without a mother”
Truth – She was alive, not in hospital, and was home and well and not dying of cancer. She was probably at home watching tv, having a regular day.
This is just a selection of lies that were told, in a short space of time. All of it was designed to manipulate and to deceive.
It is absolutely shattering when you realise that the person that you were with, the person that you trusted, that you thought was your soul mate, that almost everything that has been told to you is a lie. This is when you realise that you have been dating a compulsive pathological liar. A person who finds it easier to lie than to tell the truth, a person that has no respect for you, your life, your welfare, or your needs. All that they are thinking is ‘what is in it for me’
Uncovering the lies at the end, brings another kind of grief. A grief of the person that you THOUGHT you were with. A realisation that the person that you thought you loved, does not exist. As the lies are unravelled, it is also a very confusing time. When the sociopath knows that their lies will be found out. They will take off and move onto the next victim
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Dating a Sociopath 
I was with my liar for 4 years. Still with him. I’veffound him on dating sites aNd found out he.lies constantly! I can’t seem to let him go.but knowing everything he says us untrue just eats at me every day!!
Yours wouldn’t be happened to be named Caleb? I met this guy online who claims to have lost his girlfriend to cancer 4 yrs ago. So convincing! It’s awful not knowing if it’s true or not.
Mine faked his ex was dying of cancer. If you suspect it’s fake you could be on the right track. .
This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Appreciate it!
Thank you!
I might be having the same trouble with you. Several days ago, I broke up with my boyfriend, who is now my ex boyfriend. We broke up because I found out that he is a big liar. Fyi, I have ended our relationship several time, but he always able to get me back I don’t know why! At first I thought he was my soulmate because he had everything I wanted from a man. He was really charming, mature, smart, and also I feel that he got a lot of similaries with me (food,hobbies,habits,etc). His lies are really natural I could say, and that is why I trust him so well that I never checked if his stories were fake. After I found out his first lie, I checked all the things he told me and figured out that most of them are lies! He lied about his family, friends, job, academic achievement, etc. I feel so confused because he was really kind and loving! At first, he begged at me to give him one more chance. But after I told him that I knew that all of his stories were fake, he suddenly dissapeared. Is he a sociopath?
I cant diagnose someone Cara, but you know that someone who lies in this way, won’t stop lying. Yes his disappearance is what they do. They don’t like to get found out for who they are, and then can do the silent treatment (look up silent treatment in the search bar). Or the post ‘coping with pain after sociopath discard’.
Hi there, constantly i used to check website posts here early in the daylight, for the reason that i like to gain knowledge of more and more.
Hi Ellis welcome back x
Yeah but how do you get over a sociopath
You need to take back your power. Understand that it took a while to brain wash you, so it will take a while to undo the brainwashing and mind control. Take baby steps. Take it one day at a time. Keep to no contact. Even if you get a tough day, do not relapse as this will only bring you pain. Try to reach out to your past, old friends, family people that you knew, hobbies and interests that you had prior to meeting the sociopath. This will help to bring you back to normality – and help to undo the brain washing. Understand that it isn’t an easy process. But that it can be done. It is about reprogramming your brain. The psycho does it one way, you can reprogramme it back.
I just found this sight. My ex boyfriend fits EVERY characteristic of a sociopath. My life and bank account have been hell. My only advice is to get away from them and seek counseling. They are dangerous.
Yes they are catgirl.
Thankyou positivagirl – i really need to hear from someone like you
I can’t believe this has even happened to me. Here I was dating an awesome guy, thinking I’d *finally* found someone worth trusting… Then he slips and accidentally texts me telling his mother he was on his way home. The lie? He’d told me before that he was living with a male roommate! I think after he realized he’d slipped he blocked my number because I couldn’t reach him anymore. So I went to his job he said he was still at, and they told me he’d quit over a week ago!
All of this just happened to me today.
It’s people like him that make it impossible to trust anyone again. Sadly, I think he was my last straw with dating anymore men. So over being vulnerable to men who prove later that they didn’t even deserve it.
Hey happy, give yourself time and healing. While there are a lot of bad people out there, or people who clearly have issues, there are also a lot of good people too. First work on healing and recovery for you. I am sorry that you are hurting .
Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you could be a great author.I will remember to bookmark your blog and will often come back down the road. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great posts, have a nice evening!
Thank you georgianna
I’m so glad i Just found this site now, I can’t wait to read more articles, I’m currently dealing with a Pathological Liar, Met him on Internet Dating Site I’ve been dating this guy for nearly 3years. To honest it should have ended after 3months because from day one something felt wrong. Since i’ve met him I’ve never met his friends or family. Two weeks ago he lied to me that he has Cancer, and i cried my eyes out all day. Worrying about him. Then he told me that it was not true. He said only lied because he felt like i was running away from him. So i told him that i think he is A Con Artist! Then he disapeared for a while now he is back again trying to be nice and friendly. Every time he contact me i get major panic attacks to the point that i start shaking with fear. He has never physically hurt me but He has intense negative energy around him. I’m no contact, hopefully he will get the message and go away and leave me alone for good. I’m working on getting back to normal because i just feel so confused can’t think straight.Any advise on how to get rid of this toxic person in my life please. Thank you
You have come far. I too, lived with a sociopath\pathological liar for some years. He destroyed my life. The damage this man has caused me is irreversible even with doing everything correctly. He began his control and it eventually escalated to physical abuse and me almost losing my life. He is such a good liar that he was never arrested, never charged, and has done it to other women. In my heart, I feel this man is capable of murder. He is and always will be a very dangerous man. He constantly commits insurance fraud schemes and the insurance companies are fooled. I have gone with the evidence in hand to put this man behind bars and he still continues to manipulate naive people that feel sorry for him after he puts on his act of being a victim. When it comes to the sociopath/pathological liar… They will do anything to protect their ego and their false vision of what they are. Unfortunately, justice is hard to find if you have ever had to deal with a person like this because they will always always always find another mark! My only saving grace is the child that we have together, but that relationship has also been destroyed by him. My only advise is to know the signs, and don’t fall victim to their charming ways!
I just recently started looking for answers. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now with what started off as a long distance relationship. He lived in California and I live in Arizona. Finally after so long he moved out to az to be with me he stayed for 8 months the whole time I was supporting him. He would get jobs and always have reasons to quit leaving me stuck deeper and deeper in debt. We just moved to california hoping it would be different we’ve been here for a month now and we’re both looking for jobs. I just discovered he has been cheating on me with multiple girls on Social media( Facebook & Instagram ) I confronted him about everything at first he tried lying about it all finally he apologized. I’ve been researching pathological liars and he does fit some charictaristics.
Hi
I’m so sorry to hear you are in pain. My bf of 4 years was also cheating on me online and I found him on many dating sites eventually when i looked.
It’s so horrible I can’t even explain it. He told me he loved me, that I was the one etc. Just unbelievable aNd then to find out that there were so many lies about his work, trips away, his settlement with his ex, even his name!!! Its shattering! I’m grieving the rship I thought I had.
Post often and journal your feelings
J
Thank you for posting this. The last sentence hit me really hard, as it applies so much to me. I’ve spent more than 2 months grieving my last relationship that was full of lies. I was so manipulated and used. It cost me my self esteem and I thought I was insane for questioning everything. The more lies I found, the harder it was for me to walk away. He never cared about his needs and whenever he did something for me, it was because there was something in it for him, but he would make it seem like it was all just for me. When it got to the point that I knew the real him, he ended it.
I am sorry ed. If it had continued likely it would have got worse. Only led to further losses.
Ed that’s where my SP started to really turn to- when I came wise to the lies and started to say I knew him better than he thought. I thought this might make him start to trust that he could be honest with me- but I think instead it made him look even more for a new victim. I am not blaming myself though – he was online from Nov 13 and I only recently (like 3 mths ago) started saying that stuff to him
Guess they do just need fresh victims, I just cant believe I am so easily replaced or the friendship was so easily transferrable
J
Thats because they care about themselves and their needs before anyone else. One day after ending it he was on hookup apps “looking for a relationship” and talking about how “he enjoys a good beer and good conversation” when he doesnt even like drinking and doesnt communicate. Thats who he is, a false image. Don’t be surprised, because sociopaths get bored easily, hense why they lie so much. He even hid a 10-12 year long previous relationship from his parents before he dated me. Thats how insane there types of men are. There is nothing wrong with you and this isnt your fault. Please always remember that.
Extra Dangerous Reward Ideas (for Ladies and Males): Here is a video I found when I typed “dangerous christmas gifts” into google!
Gosh I needed to hear t – I keep thinking what did I do???
Trust me dear heart, it’s not you and it was never you. This type of person is a defective human being and will not change. This is a personality disorder and the majority of the time sociopaths and narcissists never think or believe the problem is them . . . it’s always someone else’s fault. Love yourself and allow yourself the time to heal. Trust me when I tell you they will leave your head in constant spin motion, wondering how you got to this place. You become a puzzle even to yourself. It’s like watching yourself in an out of body type situation . . . you know this person is horrible but for some reason, you still desire to trust and believe in them; give them the benefit of the doubt; give them another chance. They don’t care about a second chance and they do not care about you or your feelings. They get away with whatever they can get away with. They can take you or leave you. You will not be a factor when they decide to move on. The reality of it all is these are individuals who are emotionless, lack empathy and selfish to the highest degree humanly possible. Do yourself dear heart, run and run fast . . . do not look back. It’s going to take some time to regain who you once were, but remember you are worth the effort in rediscovering yourself. Allow yourself the time to heal and become whole. All men are not like this kind of evil . . . there are still some good guys out there dear heart. How do I know about this type of evil? I was recently engaged to it and every entry on this blog I have experienced . . . from the lying, the women, the cheating, the unemployment, etc. It makes you feel violated, used, abused, mistreated and empty, but you still have yourself and that matters. I walked away and I have absolutely no intention of ever getting back involved with this craziness. He still tries, but I shut it down really fast. I am worth far more than the little piece of nothing he is only capable of giving. Good luck!
Alice thank you so much for your thoughtful and really wonderful message. It meant a great deal to me. Yes you are right – I sort of feel violated in a way. I was stepping on eggshells the last 2.5 years (when he ended it the first time), but even 6 mths before that when I started to realise something was very wrong . Then he seemed to end it every 5 mins after that, always with me begging to come back.
I didn’t this time
I feel like I should have. But to what end? To look at him in the eye while he continues lying and cheating, to worry about the next time it ends or the next time the Sword of Damocles fell! It was exhausting. I get glimpses of amazing happiness now- only for a second – but still its a glimpse. I hope they last longer and come more often 🙂
I haven’t contacted him – 2 days now (100% better than previous efforts). I’m not sure how long I’ll go but I’ll try tomorrow as well. But I don’t want him thinking I’m shirty, as I actually want to end on nice terms. So maybe I’ll send a friendly hello hope you’re well – but Im not worried about a relapse – he’s moved on totally and got a new gf (within 2 weeks of leaving me after a 5 yr rship). So I know its over for good.
Still staggers and saddens me – but I am accepting (trying to) that he has a mental condition where uncontrollable lies and lack of empathy are part of his daily existence – and he thinks its not only ok, but sort of cool and funny. I cant live like that.
Thank you
Where to start,far too much to tell…I have spent 4yrs with this lying/cheating/thieving/abusing/sociopath.I have ended uo with a heart condition and stroke,because of his abuse,he lives with me,I have wanted to end it for over 3yrs,but his own flat is 15 foot steps away from mine,literally right opposite mine,please please please how do I end this unvearable torture,he’s made me so ill.
The problem is a each day one (with a number of challenges on a few of the days) for a complete of forty challenges in a single month and the objective will not be only to create the playing cards but additionally mail them to the middle for use by the sufferers undergoing treatment. Individuals say the dumbest things.
Mine told me he had stage four throat cancer, he has completely ignored, blocked, erased me from his life. He won’t even acknowledge me. The lies before the final cancer story range from being in a helicopter crash in Europe when he was a interpreter for a company he cannot tell me the name of because its classified info. He told me he makes between $5,000 to $15,000 a week, but drives a car that’s well over 10 years old and has no health insurance. He said he lost 3,million on a bad business deal and that the other person in the deal has tried to shoot him three separate times. The stories are so outrageous and so many I know don’t know what was the truth and what was a lie. I don’t think he has cancer either. I am devastated that the person I would have married in a minute never existed. I also know I will never know the truth about anything. Even if he would answer me or stop ignoring me and face me like a man, I don’t think I would believe anything he had to say. I am hurt and confused, but most of all devastated that the man I loved and trusted could lie and then erase me like I never existed.
I know your post is old but my Daddy had throat cancer. I’m pissed he told THAT lie. Throat cancer literally eats from the inside out. You can actually see the cancer. My Daddy had an open sore the size of my fist on his jaw line. He could barely talk. It took him quick. He was 200 lbs in February. 80 lbs by July. He was gone in October. I’m married to a sociopath/narcissist/pathological liar. I think he told a chick he was cheating with he had cancer. He shaved his face and head completely bald once. He never does this. He looked pail at the time because he was suffering from a bacterial infection in the lining of his stomach which caused ulcers. He took pictures of himself and everything. I caught him lying on the phone to her about being hospitalized which he never spent a night in the hospital. Sick of it.
It is the lengths that they go to to elaborate and PLAY the lie, not just the lie itself. People think how could you be so stupid? It isn’t that. they are just incredible liars. Also great actors going to incredible lengths to show their lies to be true. You would appear more crazy and insane to NOT believe them.
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Oh my gosh! I don’t even know where to begin. I have been in a relationship over 15 years and just discovered a couple of years ago he was a sociopath and complete pathological liar! So much damage they cause! I am working on getting away and starting a new life. It is hard because I am connected to him professionally. I distance myself as much as possible and I am slowly building new relationships with emotionally healthy people. I hope to be completely free of this disgusting excuse of a human being soon! I truly wish peace to all who have unfortunately been involved with these evil things!
I was married to a sociopath for 20 years. I’m actually happy that he’s finally gone. Sure, it took some time to get over him but it feels good to know who I am again. After 20 years, I was left with nothing. Even my pride had been stripped. I realized my life was a horrible lie and I unknowingly lied too. If he told me a story and I repeated it to a friend or family member, I was telling his lie. You may ask, “How stupid can someone be to not know for 20 years?” Well, for some time, I did feel stupid but then I realized that normal people aren’t expecting lies and cheating. We expect that others are as kind as we are. This is normal behavior. Remember, the Sociopath has the character defect, not the person that fell for them. I knew he lied to make himself sound better and I just assumed he had some self esteem issues. Those lies I ignored because I felt sorry for him but in hindsight, I’d realized he lied on a daily basis. I was busy working, raising a child, and even taking care of him. Now, I feel bad for his most recent victim but he is so charismatic that she will never believe me if I were to tell her. So anyway, I’m in a good place now and if I can move on and be happy so can anyone who has loved a Sociopath.
Thank God for this site! My ex narc hole is the biggest jerk on the face of the planet. Not only did he have a chronic pathological lying issue (of to which was everyday of his waking life) he managed to dupe countless business partners (of to which all can’t stand him now) he sexually coerced a gal or two here and there, always managed to blame everyone else but himself. No corporate job was ever “good enough” for him. No one woman was every good enough, no friend good enough. Everyone was always labeled an idiot, stupid, naive, too short, too tall, too heavy, too thin, too rich, too poor, too educated, not educated enough. He always frigging always had to have something nasty to say. But, God forbid anyone, I mean anyone point out 1 flaw of his.Then it was everyone was out to get him, the world didn’t accept him. He blew through all my savings, equity on the house, checking, stocks, 401k’s, everything. Everything! Everything was always about him. He would try to win me back by seducing me sexually and with charm. Planting in my head no other man would want me as much as he did. No other man could love me as much as he did. Love? What a damn joke! Sorry last time this old gal checked love doesn’t constitute lying, having torrid affairs here and there, blowing through someone else $, deceiving everyone, using people, coercing, and exploiting. Some of this sick socios have a distorted view of love. Love = whatever they can get for free or nothing. Love = take take take to them. Love = destroy others for their own dang selfish gain. He had no concept of love or sacrifice for anyone but NUMERO UNO. Mr. had to have it all at the expense of everyone else. The last straw was his little fling with someone young enough to be his own daughter. Did he have any remorse? Nope! It’s bad enough the first time he pulled his crap he said he would never do it again to only up and cheat yet again. Let’s not fail to mention all his exploits at work. Not 1 ex business partner can stand him. They all think he is the biggest a** on the planet. Nothing but a womanizer, tax cheat, fraud, user, abuser, manipulator, con artist, mind raping abusive person. They are a real joke. They think everyone else is a joke, but the real joke is them. They live in a fantasy land a total delusional way of thinking. Let’s face it, if they truly had to face reality they couldn’t stand themselves that’s why they hide behind a farce, a facade, a mask of crap.
Remember folks, that it’s far from just MEN who do this – I met a woman who is really into lying. She thinks that lying to her family that she’s doing something else, so she can be free for a day or two to be with me, won’t reveal that if required, she’ll do the same to me to be with someone else (if she’d want to, which I got the impression she might do from time to time when drunk etc – from holes in her stories at times). Such people lie for a living, basically. Even if not for money, for their lifestyle – which would collapse otherwise. Their only loyalty is to themselves, and they can’t even trust themselves as they always have to be on guard to make sure they don’t let a clue slip about one of their myriad lies. This is why you see them acting nervous quite often, although they hide it by putting it into little ‘tics’ they have. Then perhaps they enjoy alcohol and drugs a bit too much (for the necessary strong relief required from the already-avoidable anxiety!)
Seen this multiple times. What idiot taught these women (and men, maybe) that this was a good lifestyle-choice? Whoever taught them that POWER was more important than (self-) love. That’s who. The Media-Industrial Complex. Certain Feminist ‘geniuses’ missing the wider picture (arguably, anyway).
That’s what I want to know.
I personally like to relax and not be so greedy that I can’t give-up what lies like that would bring me.
Since what honesty brings is better in the long-term and health-wise.
@FoolForYourLovin…No one needs to be told to REMEMBER that women do this too. But you see who is posting here. I was with you until you got crazy with the FEMINIST crap. You can read all the feminazi hate comments over at reddit or 4chan til your heart is content. The gender isn’t relevant. ALL sociopaths and liars are toxic. Get it together, dude.
Thank you for this site. I recently found out that the man I had been dating for a long time is either married or in a serious relationship. He is a total pathological liar. I’m glad to have gotten off so easy…just by pride is lost. He could have had it all…he was that good. Military man, family man, all around good guy…his lies were outstanding and I believed every one. I hope I am smart enough now to recognize this type of person but boy they are so good… Despite this I know in my heart that there are good people in the world. He met me at a very vulnerable time in my life… I am no longer that person. I am strong! You will be too. Have faith. My heart goes out to all touched by this.
Am pleased to hear that you got out. I know that it hurts to have been used, and disrespected. Hopefully longer term not too much damage has been done to your life.
Anyone i have “run-ins” in that criteria with i blackball them on 25 networks all linking off of the main
Hi jo bell
Your story is similar to mine. So many lies and oscar-winning performances. It breaks my heart but I’m rebuilding
I feel a bit of obligation to tell everyone who knew my ex that she was a compulsive liar but that would be gossiping and I also still love that person, though truth be told, I am unsure if I ever knew that person at all. I have refrained from telling anyone. I advised her that the next guy she lies to for years might not take it as well as I did and she might find herself in trouble and I could tell what I was saying made no sense to her.
I lived with K for approx. 4 years and dated for 8. She was always spacey looking foggy, not all there and her reactions to things was always super passive and slightly out of kilter, kind of harmless but when the fact that she lied with a straight face more than she told the truth, it seem to kind of explain why she was always only semi present, like not all there.
Anyway I have no clue what will happen to her and her lying way of life. I never seen anything like it before.
Confusing to be attached to a person who turned out to be an unapologetic compulsive lair and think about a person who all of a sudden I don’t know if i have any clue who they wee or what they were about? Such a strange unsettling feeling.
I know that feeling. It’s like the ultimate mind f*@k. I think the victims end up with these unsettling feelings because it’s so opposite of who we are. I wouldn’t dream of lying and messing with a person’s reality or manipulating them. That’s why it’s so hard to understand and even believe what we’re experiencing. It’s hard to learn to take people by their actions, not their words. What’s truly disturbing is how little one can legally do about these people. They are everywhere (especially since my country ignores mental health until violence happens). Being with one for an extended period of time can make you doubt your own reality. It’s best to start talking to new people related to your deepest passions. It will help restore your positive feelings towards humans/love/etc. Peace
I’ve been with my partner 5 years now. Met online, long distance relationship then he moved to be with me. After a while I found out he had lied about practically everything. His age, the car he drove…..he has never drove. His kids……he said he wasn’t their biological dad turns out he is. He told me he was an mma fighter n was fighting in new York. He sent pics of famous landmarks etc during his 6 day visit there. Turns out he was in new York. …with his ex partner a year before. And he was sending me the pics that he has saved on his fone. He has lied about little things and huge things. Has been physically abusive in 2 occasions. How can i get this man out of my life for good and not want to be with him!
I take it he is still living with you? Only people he knows are your friends and family?
I am new to this site and feel the need to constantly read stories similar to mine about my pathological boyfriend to sadly realize I am not alone. A few months ago I found out that my boyfriend of 3 years is a pathological liar. It’s unbelievable the things he has said and done to me. He lied about so many things, how much he makes, his birthday 2X, jewelry being real, owning a condo in Fla., where he lived before he moved in, said he graduated with an MD…. but the most far fetched lie was that he got a $500,000 raise. Yes $500,000, it’s not a misprint. He also always needed to seek attention, so he would talk in a flirty manner to several girls online, until I caught him and kicked him out of the house; he had moved in 6 months prior. Besides his lies, if I didn’t answer his calls or texts right away, which I cannot sometimes because I am working, he would be upset and “punish” me by ignoring me for the rest of the entire day. He also took advantage of me. We booked a vacation and he was supposed to give me back his share of $2500 since I put it on my Amex, but never paid me back til 6 months later (somehow I made him feel guilty), took $1500 of a shared account in which he promised to put equal money in but gave me excuses as to why his share never went in. Thank god I saw it and and demanded he return it. After all he has done to me, and he’s done soooo much more, I still love him. We broke up several time but somehow he kept dragging me back in. He’s been in therapy for this since I found his sickness, but yet I would still see him even after he was diagnosed here and there to see if he got “fixed”, I did this for 10 months and just recently I caught him in yet another lie. I stayed with him because I truly loved him but yesterday it finally dawned on me that he can never be cured and I am so sad, so distraught. I am now mourning the death of someone who never really existed, someone who died but yet never really was alive. And the crazy part is that I still love him but who did I love??…he never existed. My family and friends do not understand how I can still love him, I don’t really get it myself…It’s a sad story really…. I am going to try hard to stay away from him but miss him dearly. I think I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening…..
Hi Lisa welcome to the site!! I am about to go to bed (it’s 4.22am) but I wanted to say to you before I did this is how I found about mine the pathological lying. It is beyond anything I have ever experienced in my life. I will come back read your comment properly tomorrow. Give a proper reply.
Hi Lisa
I’m so sorry to hear your sad story. My ex sp lied to me for 4.5 years until he eventually called it off. I knew about the lies but couldn’t let on as I didn’t want him to know!!!! I didn’t want to make him feel embarrassed!! Wtf!
He lied about his name (first and last) and allowed us to exchange vows in our own little ceremony with his fake name. Lied about his marriage. Divorce, settlement, when he had his daughter, and eventually his lies about being faithful. I found him on 4 dating sites in the end.
Yes I still love him and want him. He ignores me totally so I’m the one breaking nc!! It’s madness
But like you, I’m in love with the original fantasy. How it made me feel
Stay here and stay strong – it helps so much!!!
They sure do live in a fantasy world! A complete and utter lie. Mine was a chronic womanizer. It was NEVER his fault. He thought women were set here by God to serve him constantly! He just wanted a wifey poo at home cooking, cleaning, raising kids, organizing the bills, running errands, helping with all his business affairs, baking pies, while he was out and about wooooooing and coercing wet behind the ears girls. He even went after desperate older women for their $$$ or taken women. He thought they all would keep their mouths quiet while he had a good time on their dime at their expense. Two different women approached me and let me know what the conniving prick was up to. Amazing the things he was feeding them “I can’t wait to leave my wife” “I have to stay until the kids are 21” “I’m not paying child support so I stay with the b*tch” “I still love her just not in love with her” “It’s cheaper to keep her” “She’s a crazy, psycho, nasty unless she gets her way” yep the list of BS could go on and on. But, what’s the point. It was the typical old school song and dance of telling wifey poo at home one thing and all the other girls another. Well, one thing is for darn sure karma, the wheel of life, Universal Principles, what goes around comes around, the Golden Rule all take effect in life. I’ve now since gotten tired of his numerous lies, other women have, he’s getting much older now, much grayer, a big old jelly belly, looks are fading, charm isn’t working as fast as it use to, no one wants to hear his song and dance anymore, his parents are sick of his lies, his brothers and sisters are sick of it, his ex wives are sick of it. It all catches up to them and bites them on the a** eventually. He even tried to talk a 25 year old a gal half his age into moving in with him and paying for all the rent for some $1500+apartment and then when that didn’t work out another woman into buying a house for him. Unbelievable the delusional world they live in. What’s truly sad is some of these other women actually believe these fools. They have NO REMORSE for lying to their own wives. They don’t care who they use. They took vows and throw them out the window as long as they can get sex or $ and yet some people think the grass is greener. The grass can turn brown real quick or the grass was fake to begin with. They only love themselves. Any guy that will screw over his own wife not matter how big of a b*tch she is without divorcing first will only end up doing it to the next one then the next. They can’t be satisfied unless they are on a power trip destroying something or someone for their own gain. It’s a waste time and space. Glad to have moved on! Very glad!
You go you sista I absolutely LOVE this comment. You rock. Haha brilliant. It is funny isn’t it when you see who they are and just how ridiculous it is… it is ridiculous… how new ones believe it. Thank you for your comment lori made me laugh.
I have just left my partner of 4 years yesterday. he lied and told his daughter had been kidnapped by her mother. He lied about being with 2 other women, i was at this point goibg to lrave him, he proposed to keep me with him. I stupidly stayed, he put no money towards the wedding, i put down deposits for the flowers, food, venue and bought my dress. All my friends and family booked tickets to fly to our international wedding. 3 months before the big day i found out he was in debt and had a child with someone prior to us meeting. I cancelled our wedding.
I moved out from our flat and back in
with my mother. Ive been asking him ever since to show me a copy of his divorce certificate as i never actually got to see it as we never got round to notifying the authorities of our then upcoming nuptials. He finally told me yesterday that he is still married.
I’m absolutely devastated, i loved him whole heartedly and made him a part of my family and friends lives. It hurts that this has happened and in a sick way i wish we could be together but the person that i fell in love with was a fantasy. He never existed.
Omg, I am sorry Beri. What an ultimate act of betrayal. While I am not you. I can only say that I empathise with feeling like you were nothing but a game to someone. I am so sorry. What i can say is that you will heal and recover. It might take some time, but you will and can heal. you can heal and repair your life. Things will get better. You are right he is a fantasy and a sick sick man. I am sorry
Beri I totally feel for you. It rips your heart out!! They were a lie a fantasy and ww get sucked into it. Only to be casually discarded when it no.longer serves them.
I’m so sorry for you. But thus site will help you. Breathe and stay kn the moment
It’s even more dangerous if it’s a woman …because you can’t do anything but still feel pity for her when you confront all those tears they just break you eventhough you know she’s faking it ..what can you do? Sometimes I feel like just strangling her in her sleep so I can breakout of this vicious cycle …
Would be easier to leave her.
Real conversation –
“You disappeared without even a phone call”
S “yes…but I’m back arent I”
“You have a new girlfriend”
S” I’ll need to sort that out”
“You forgot I existed?’
S ” it seemed easier at the time”
“You wouldn’t answer your phone”
S “I probably didn’t recognise the number”
“Where did she come from? Was it the Internet?”
S”nothing ive that”
“You forgot my phone number? You had a girlfriend”
S “I’ll have to explain it to you one day…. I’m back now”….
S”That has to tell you something”
” so nobody reminded you I existed not even your children?”
S “I was under a lot of stress” …”I was lazy” ….”I love you” ….
S “It would be muh easier fr me not to do this”
“Your girlfriend knows you are talking to me”
S “oh no that won’t go down well”
“Then you shouldn’t be talking to me”
S ” but I love you”
“How?”
S” ive changed a lot”
“Hw?”
S ” I want to make you happy”
“How will do that?”
S “I want a future with you”
“You’re engaged?”
S” Not really ….errmmmmmm……
“Ive got myself in a right mess”
“Yes you have”
S” I’ve really though about my life and what I want”
“Ok that’s good”
S ” do you love me ?”
“That’s inappropriate you just to,d me you are engaged”
S “I need to come and explain face to face”
“You know I’d stil with you if you’d have apologised don’t you?”
S” Inow ive been so stupid”
Etc etc.
Disappeared after two yr relationship, reappeared on FB with new girlfriend a week or two after a giant tantrum & my departure.
Checked his dating activity and is still by active and has been throughout all of his relationships. Amazing .
Absolutely amazing but absolutely how they are.
WoW!! I looked up compulsive pathetlogical liar in got this blog. OMG!!, I needed to see this…I am currently at the moment dealing with one. Well let me rephrase that…because I have officially dismissed him. But overall I’m hurt behind the lies and nomore how much I expressed what his lies are doing to me he denies it.
Key words
I’m bugging out
I’m delusional
Crazy
Insecure
And don’t let me accuse him of something because something he did raise suspension… then he try to get mad but because he is in the mix and can’t prove it he say, I’m tight and I don’t want to talk. I’ll hit you tomorrow.
I talk to his mother today and found out that his father was a liar like that, did all kinds of wrong bu her.. she advised me to be done in not end up going thru what she did because her son isn’t any good. He has had several relationships in all ended in them trying to hurt him in any way they could because at the end of the day they couldn’t handle it.
Me on the other hand, because I refuse to snap he keeps talking about, i love you and I’m not going anywhere, I broke up with him several time but today is it. I refuse to let this man take me out of my character in want to hurt him because he hurting me.His mother even ask him what have he done for these women to want to hurt you, he claim they are all crazy in for some reason he didn’t know it until down the line. Like in his head he really believe that he not doing anything wrong. And I’m just all cried out in over it. I wish him the best but I won’t hold my breath because I’ll die…lol
Ha yes THEY are all crazy, of course, it’s nothing to do with him… he just got unlucky and met a load of crazy women. Poor him…. or maybe he made them that way, or, well he lied. Liar 🙂
This is what I thought. I recently got out of an eight month relationship with a woman who was a sociopath and a pathological liar. I had never met one before and could not imagine someone could be that detached from emotional or feeling and could use another person in that way. I figured she was a single mom and I am a single dad. She asked me numerous times to bond with her child. I did, but now realized this was only cause she was lazy and didn’t want to do the hard work of parenting. She also asked to bond with my child more, which given what she was saying to me I thought where could the harm be. But the entire relationship was a lie. She took every opportunity to lie and cheat. the cruelty and intentional infliction of emotional harm she did on me, my daughter and her son could not be imagined or foreseen. You think someone would care about their own child, but she did not, in the end it was all about her and her selfish needs. When the lie unravelled that was it. I found this cause I was curious if she thought about me, since I was thinking about her. But this is so true, to her I was not a relationship or a lover or a partner, I was her victim and she was the predator. She was heatless and devoid of emotion and therefore would not think or consider anything she did was wrong. I now know what they mean when they say sociopaths cannot discern the difference between right and wrong. She cannot. In her mind she believes everything she did was the correct thing to do and that she was right cause it served her own selfish needs. And she will likely use it in some way on her next victim. It is sickening to know their are people like this. I feel like she spends her spare time drowning little puppies. It has taken some time to unravel all the lies, and I am still dealing with the impact on my daughter who was absolutely devastated. As for her son, I do miss him. We bonded in many ways and I treated him as if he was my own. It is hard knowing I will never see him again and the danger he will continue to face at the hands of his mother. Thank you for the post.
I am sorry Jay, that must be tough to lose connection with a child that you have bonded with, but also the worry that you must now have wondering if he is ok? You know that you are in the best place, and your own child cannot be damaged by her behaviour.
Question: Clearly she is not being treated properly and clearly she did not care for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that I cared for her and am left to pick up the pieces of my life. However, because I can and know she is not being treated properly should I reach out to the medical professional treating her and notify him she is off her meds and is really sick as he is completely unaware how bad she is because he is just medicating her and not actually treating her? Or at this point do I walk away and not look back. I would feel terrible if something happened to her son or one of her family members and I could have done something and didn’t.
I do not know if someone still reads but i want to share..
My boyfriend for a year broke up with me by ghosting me..he disappeared suddenly and i never had my chance to get closure..I called,e-mailed..but no answer..After 2 months suddenly he send me a message! He send two military id card pictures and he said he was sorry but now he is military..He said big reason he broke up with me was this job,he said i need to be safe and that is away from him,i have every right to say anything etc..at the end he said he loves me.we said take care each other and stop messaging..But after a while i search some information and understood that that id card are fake!!! You can buy them online..i checked the serial numbers of the cards that in the picture and compare on the website..it is a match!! I dont know what to think about know..Does he lying about his job and he only talked to me to give a closure?? Please help me i am very confused..I thought finally i had my closure,he still loves me but he had to break up with me but now…Please help
Hi how they love to play games with your head. I don’t know what the answer is, but this is what I suspect IF he is a sociopath.
He has someone else, but maybe that isn’t going too well. He likes to be able to move on with his own life, but not let you move on with yours. By sending you this, he has a plausible reason for his absence. My gosh sociopaths could have a field day with this one. Pretending they are off ‘fighting in the war’…. then come home for a few days…. to numerous women. I don’t know if this is what has happened, but it is what my ex would have done for sure.
It is very difficult to move on..And the worst part is i am still jealous of him and when i think if there is someone else it makes me so sad that i cant discribe..
Before we broke up in a year we didnt have any problems.He was always full of love,he was a caring guy..He met my parents,i met his etc..we were happy..only problem he didnt have a job..he was renting apertmens and trying to live with that money..So las couple of months i was in depression..I thought so! Then suddenly he stoped answering his phones,e-mail,texts..i didnt hear anything from him but i saw him sharing things on fb..then 1,5 months later he send me those pictures ans messages..at the end when he said i love you..i accepted the closure and i was ready to move on but something pushed me to search online and i found those fake id cards..now i dont know what to think..i am deeply sorry,sad..he said he will be travelling next 6 months etc..i thought may be he is trying to stay friends but i cant get over the fake id part..i am not sure if he is lying or not but my heart is so broken..thank you for letting me talk and write here! It helps a lot
Hello..I wrote a comment but i am not sure if it published so i am writing it again.sorry if it becomes double..
My boyfriend for a year broke up with me by ghosting me..he disappeared suddenly and i never had my chance to get closure..I called,e-mailed..but no answer..After 2 months suddenly he send me a message! He send couple of military id cards pictures (of him) and he said he was sorry but now he is military..He said big reason he broke up with me was this job,he said i need to be safe and that is away from him,i have every right to say anything etc..at the end he said he loves me.we said take care each other and stop messaging..But after a while i search some information and understood that that id card are fake!!! You can buy them online..i checked the serial numbers of the cards that in the picture and compare on the website..it is a match!! I dont know what to think about know..Does he lying about his job and he only talked to me to give a closure?? Please help me i am very confused..I thought finally i had my closure,he still loves me but he had to break up with me but now..Why someone lies like that? Did he want to stay friends and said a lie so we can connect each other and at the same time i wont be any expectations from him because he works abroad with this job so we remain friends? Or may be he tells the truth and couldnt sent me a real ids so he tried to proved he is real?? Please help
He is trying to prevent you from moving on – he likes power and control. Sometimes it isn’t even that they want to be with you (or mine didn’t) he didn’t want me to be with anyone else. Popping up 2 months later, gives you a reminder about him. You know you can do so much better than this guy he is at best a player and a liar, and at worst a head merchant sociopath.
It is very difficult to move on..And the worst part is i am still jealous of him and when i think if there is someone else it makes me so sad that i cant discribe..
Before we broke up in a year we didnt have any problems.He was always full of love,he was a caring guy..He met my parents,i met his etc..we were happy..only problem he didnt have a job..he was renting apertmens and trying to live with that money..So las couple of months i was in depression..I thought so! Then suddenly he stoped answering his phones,e-mail,texts..i didnt hear anything from him but i saw him sharing things on fb..then 1,5 months later he send me those pictures ans messages..at the end when he said i love you..i accepted the closure and i was ready to move on but something pushed me to search online and i found those fake id cards..now i dont know what to think..i am deeply sorry,sad..he said he will be travelling next 6 months etc..i thought may be he is trying to stay friends but i cant get over the fake id part..i am not sure if he is lying or not but my heart is so broken..thank you for letting me talk and write here! It helps a lot
I am so sorry you are hurting so much, it does get better. What I do know is that the pain gets worse, and you will struggle to heal if they are still in your life. It can be hard to let go, but — do you want a liar in your life, one who would disrespect you. Someone who would want to hurt you> Shouldn’t a man protect you from hurt and pain? NOt be the one to deliberately cause it?
Thank you for your understanding! It is a big shock to accept everything..Because everything was fine and we were taking about marriage and then suddenly he stoped the communication,In the relationship i withnessed some lies but it wasnt like that..What an earth someone lie for a closure after months? He could have just said i dont love you anymore or long distance is hard etc..he chose to say those military things with an i love you (some part of my heart still hopes that excuses are true) But with you help i decide “no contact” rule..i stoped follow him on fb so i wont see hist posts and i will fo your no contact tactic for my insanity! and at some poiny i hope i wont be jealous of him anymore..I am so sorry we all go through this
Hi nykie
You’re amongst friends now. It’s so hard to accept that there may have been a grain of truth in some things they said, but there are so
Many lies how will we ever know
Thank you Joelene..It is hard to accept..The part that i dont understand is this…He broke up with silent threatment,he dissappeared…Ans why he did he write me explanation after 2 months? I didnt contact with him,or didnt try to reach him..Out of nowhere he wrote this.People are very confusing.And you know why that big lie?? I thought may be he is underlining that he ismilitary for another many year so we wont be together again! I didnt ask for it..i dont know i am so confused
I have a question about confrontation with a person who has lied about his idenity, life and most personal things. I am not the main person that has been dragged along the longest, there is another woman. I am giving her the benefit of being the one in control on when and how it all goes down in terms of him facing his lies etc. There is a wife involved and tons of lies. Where my question mainly lies is here: do I even get involved at all? Some days I just want to be done and most likely just hear all the details about what happens from her or others. Then there are days I want my OWN confrontation and my own way of telling him off etc. I know there will be no answer that I can trust from this guy, and not a sorry in the world will make a difference because of the socio label he falls under. Am I making it funny or entertaining to him by confronting him/showing my emotions? That’s what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to give him any satisfaction at all. Maybe I just answered my own question, but I would still like yours and others input. (Another thing that he is doing is opposite of what I’ve read here: he is not running, he is continually stalking me/others on social media to see when the ax will fall I guess. That doesnt seem like someone who is living with no regrets or possible care. )Thank you
Hi Sunny, I know exactly how you feel. I managed to go no contact (after about three attempts) last July, and at the time I was totally under his spell, so sometimes I wish I could just tell him I finally figured out what he is (a psychopath) and what he was trying to do to me. I know far more about his lying ways than the other people in his life and sometimes I just want him to be confronted by all the people who he is deceiving in one room so that he can’t twist the truth anymore. But then I realise it’s not my place, I shouldn’t want to do anything of that nature, and I am still vulnerable – I would actually struggle to maintain my grip on MY reality, rather than HIS distortion of it, if I had anything to do with him ever again.
He has done some subtle and not so subtle “hoovering”, either to lure me back or just to taunt me, but because he has such a huge ego I think he would never do anything so direct as approach me. Even if he did, I have taught myself to treat no contact as a permanent policy that protects you because he can’t see what’s happening to you if he doesn’t have access to your precious mind, heart and emotions any more. He can’t manipulate you or do anything to hurt you if you just STAY AWAY.
Truly, “living well is the best revenge”. Cultivate indifference and you will be truly free. These people get their kicks from getting an emotional reaction, ANY reaction, from you – so look up “grey rock” and work on your own recovery rather than focussing on him.
This recently happened to me. I’ve been dating this incredible guy for a few months and just three days ago , his ‘girlfriend’ of 15 months texted me to stop talking to him. He finally told me that he lied about everything, he never loved me, never cared about, never gave a s**t about me. And I don’t know what to do. I want to ask him why but I’m pretty sure he blocked my number.
Ah he is triangulating. What this means is that he is using you… to play her. By telling her that you are chasing him wont leave him alone, it makes him look more desireable (to her)…. i wouldnt be surprised if he was cheating…. or thinking of doing so (or leaving) using you as a distraction. Remember everything about them is a game. They can call you up in front of the other person as ‘proof’ how much they mean and how important they are. What is happening is likely that she has suspected his infidelity and called him up on it…. he is using you as a distraction to make himself look everything he isnt. Loyal, faithful…a great catch… and you still cant leave him alone? Right? So she drops the matter and her suspicions as he has just ‘proven’ he loves her and only her…. of course she doesnt know the whole truth.
He was using her for triangulation purposes.
It just sucks, you know? That there are people out there who are capable of deceiving anyone. I was an easy target and I wish I knew sooner. I told him a lot of personal things I thought I could trust him with, but in the end it doesn’t matter. This was all for him , I was just someone he used to get what he wants. And I’m sure once he was done with me, he’s already out there looking for someone else who’s easy to deceive
I met a man on line March 2013. He came here to WV from MO to be with me. I fell for him completely. A few months later I find out that he had been in prison for stealing payroll checks from a company that he worked for. I couldn’t believe it! But, I forgave him for keeping it from me and stayed with him. Around Thanksgiving of that year he informed me that his mother who lived in TN and who he had told me was in bad health, had died a few weeks before. I asked him why he didn’t say anything, we should’ve gone to TN. He said they didn’t have a funeral. and that we wouldn’t have been able to afford it anyway. (Which was true. He couldn’t keep a job due to his felony prison time)
On Christmas day he ruined it completely for me and my two daughters. Yelled at me, cursed at me and went to the bedroom pouting for hours. I went in to talk to him and he says its’ because last week was his daughters birthday. He had told me that he didn’t have any kids! It was one lie after another. Why did I stay with him you might ask? Because I loved him. The following summer in 2014, Right before July 4th weekend, we were sitting in the kitchen discussing what we might do for the Holiday weekend. Federal Marshalls came knocking on my door! Arrested him for an outstanding warrant in VA where apparently he had stolen from another company he had worked for. They extradited him from WV to VA, it was two months later when he was actually going to be released, that I told him I didn’t want him back with me. The story is too long to tell. Needless to say, after he was in jail, I got a phone call from his “deceased” mother.
To make a long story short, I got back with him six months later. I missed him. I still loved him. On Christmas Day of 2015 he asked me to marry him. Had gotten me an engagement ring. I said yes. Five months later, in May of this year, he died of a massive heart attack in front of me. I tried to save him, but I couldn’t. The paramedics and the doctors at the hospital tried to revive him. He was gone. I was devastated. Because we weren’t married his mother had to sign the consent for him to be cremated. As did I. Low and behold, guess what? Actually his wife was his next of kin and she had to sign the consent! Yes, still married to the mother of his daughter who he had told me was a drug addict and and had his daughter taken away and put in foster care. I spoke with her. She wasn’t a drug addict. She had custody of their daughter. And apparently, for the past year that he was with me he was calling and talking to her wanting to get back together again.
I’ll never have complete closure with him. I’ll never understand why everything was a complete total lie all of the time. I don’t understand exactly what it was that he wanted from me. I really had nothing. It’s good to know that I’m not alone and I’m so sorry that’s it’s happened to you and anyone else.
Hi khristina and welcome.
I am sorry that this has happened to you. He sounds fairly typical. Mine said his last ex was a psycho (she wasn’t). One before that cheated (she didn’t) it is all part of the con. You already know he is a con man and capable of fraud. Please don’t convince yourself that he is anything other than what you see in front of your eyes.
My sociopath ex boyfriend lied for 2.5 years. Secretly married someone else. He used me for credit and knowledge. Wife contacted me, we exposed him, now we are friends. He foolishly has his car in my name solo. I am repossessing next month. Will he try to kill me?
I honestly am glad my ex sociopath is gone. Unfortunately, I do still feel one thing….the desire to punch him square in the mouth. Hopefully this will subside too.
Its heartbreaking to read some of these stories but also so inspiring at the same time to see how you can move on with life after dating a complete liar… My story starts with meeting an amazing charming, kind man who promised me the world – he was great, my family loved him & I loved him too.. He was very full from the start, told me he loved me after a week so that should’ve been warning signs enough.. He told me he was damaged from his last relationship as she cheated on him a lot… Knowing what I know now , I doubt this was the case… Basically I started catching him out on lies, found things that didn’t add up & he would lie to my face even more & get really defensive.. Eventually I found emails open on his tablet with Craigslist ads answered for transvestite hookers, it was before he met me but still, he’d lied bout all this & I do think he was secretly still meeting them but he had their phone numbers now instead of Craigslist … Crazy stuff… And yet he still tried to play the victim even after me confronting him… These are v conniving, selfish people & they’re so good at lying, its very easy to believe them, he had everyone fooled… We’ll be strong & try not let these experiences darken our views of the world….
Welcome to the site. Yes you are probably right, they accuse others of their own actions, so he was probably the cheat with his ex.
Much love to all here going through this xxx
Thanks Paula, how are you doing?
I’m doing ok positivagirl, thanks for asking! It’s all pretty fresh as it only happened 2 weeks ago so Defo going through the process… I love that I found this site, some of the stories resonate so much with me, little snippets here & there.. And yes he’s ghosted me now, I sent him a text basically cussing him out of it when I was angry & he’s never come back .. That’s what I’m seeing a lot here too, these cowards when they’re caught out on their lies run & hide away! I think what hurts everyone the most is how can people treat other people like this, it’s beyond comprehensible for a normal person like us yknow.. I think that’s the hard part, trying to understand their actions!
Saddest thing is they run away and hide then often resurface like nothing had happened with a quick ‘hi how are you’ text
I am starting to think that the sociopath is controlled by an outside force, which means they do not even know what they are doing from day to day. Fly by night decissions which leads to lies to cover the insanity within.
I can see why you think this, as it is a surge of energy, that appears to be huge. Bigger than they are. Comes from nowhere. But this is within them all of the time, they just wear a mask most of the time to disguise it.
I just got out of a two year relationship. It was emotionally abusive. We broke up because of his lying. He’s lied about so many things. I couldn’t keep up. But this was the last straw. He lied about where he would be, what he did. He would even say something outloud, and say he didn’t say it. Several times I had proof of things that he’s done, and he’s denied it to my face. Even after catching him in the act. Little things, small things- But this? Tops it off: he told me he wasn’t with anyone when we broke it off for a month. He told me he loved me and wanted to “prove it” to me. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He sat there making me feel horrible about replying to a guy back on social media – and I asked him over 10 times please if you have done anything I should know about for the sake of our relationship tell me. He said nothing. Turns out he was having sex with a girl. And I found the texts. What else did I find? A VIDEO he recorded of them having sex. And he sits there and denies it. I hit him so hard and ran out of his house. I couldn’t believe someone could still belittle me to that point and still lie. I’m broken. All I could think of is how manipulative he is. How he would say he would hurt and kill him self that’s how “bad he feels for what he’s done.” But it’s all an act. I can’t keep the video out of my head. I wish I never watched it. I feel so betrayed and in pieces. I have been cheated on before but not like this. I had the proof and he still couldn’t be man enough to admit it. I truly think he needs help. And it’s sad that I had to go through this to realize how sick in the head he is.
Hi Paula,
I’m going through a breakup with a pathological liar as well. I was told he had leukaemia, represented his country in baseball years ago, won 250k in lotto, went to hospital twice for an allergic reaction to food he ate, was living with his father when in fact he was living with his wife. I got emails from his brother telling me he was going to propose and he had seen the ring. Emails were from him impersonating he brother. Told me on 3 occasions when I tried to leave that he was about to commit suicide. On one of those occasions I called the police to his location, he was having a coffee was perfectly fine and told the police it must have been a prank call. There is sooo much in between these events as well. It’s hard to get your head around how someone can be such a liar without conscience or remorse. The disbelief is the hardest to come to terms with and get over.