All sociopaths lie. Most people tell the odd white lie. You might lie about why you are late for work to your boss. You might embellish the truth sometimes. You might lie to save somebody else’s feelings and to not hurt them.
The sociopath is in another category of lying. The sociopath is a compulsive, pathological liar. The sociopath lies about EVERYTHING. In fact, the sociopath lies more often than they tell the truth. They find it easier to lie, than they do to be honest.
Sociopaths lie for the following reasons
- For protection – to create a false persona of who they really are
- So that you do not find out about them and their past
- So that they can manipulate and deceive you, for their own gain
- To be in control
- To lure you into a false sense of security, so that you become addicted to them
- Telling you all that you want to hear
- They don’t care about you or your feelings, winning and being in control, is the most important thing
- They suffer from boredom easily
- To gain sympathy and play victim
- They find it easier to lie than to tell the truth
- The sociopath feels safer behind the lie. The lie is the sociopaths friend and is the sociopaths mask of protection
Sociopaths lie to deceive, manipulate and to get what they want. They lie to obtain things from people by deception. Their lies can be outrageous. It is true that the more outrageous the lie, the more likely it is that it will be believed. At the end, when the truth comes out, the victim is left spinning, and absolutely confused.
The sociopath will start lying from day one. You, to the sociopath are a target. The sociopath is the predator. The sociopath will assess you to see if you have what they want. If you do, they will mirror you, to be the person that you are looking to find, to build false trust, so that you will allow them close.
Here is a list of the lies that were told to me by the last person I was with.
1. He had a job, which was a professional job earned a lot of money.
Truth – he was unemployed. He got out of this one, by elaborate fake calls in front of me, that he was losing his job
2. He was going to get a large payment of money – and that he had temporarily lost his bank card. He wore clothes that looked like they cost money.
Truth – he never had any money in the entire time I knew him
3. He had no debts
Truth – if this was true it was because he had never taken financial responsibility
4. He owned his last house. He bought it outright and left it in a trust fund for his daughter
Truth – he never owned a house. The last house was rented from a social housing landlord. His ex almost lost the house when he didn’t pay the rent.
5. He is getting £3,000 put into his bank account and was buying an Alfa Romeo car.
Truth – There was no money – he couldn’t drive either
6. His last house was burgled
Truth – this never happened
7. He would pay 3 months rent in advance if he moved in with me
Truth – He never paid a penny
8. He was a very moral man. He mirrored my values. Would tell me what a good father he was. His phone would ring and he would take calls from his daughter every other day. He told me he had her to stay every other weekend.
Truth – He hadn’t seen his daughter in years. The calls were faked. He would set the alarm on his phone to ring to have fake calls (in front of my face) fake father to daughter caring conversations his daughter. None of this was true. He was talking to himself, and as his phone rang, I didn’t suspect that he was lying. These fake calls were designed to give the illusion that he was a trustworthy, reliable, down to earth man.
9. He had another 3 fake jobs. That he was always going to get paid for, (so I was forced to financially support him as he was living in my house). There was always the story that there was going to be money in the bank on Friday. He would get up, at 6am to go to work all day, returning home at 5.30pm. He would wander the streets all day – or sit in the library. He never had a job. He didn’t know anybody in my city either. He had dupers delight from conning me, and getting me further into debt. It would have been easier for him to have said that he didn’t have a job. Instead, he faked them, and the more that he got away with it, the more he enjoyed the elaborate art of conning and getting away with it.
10. The most outrageous and elaborate lie, that he kept up for months, before running away was that he told me that the mother of his child was dying of cancer. He would make fake calls in front of me, to the hospital, his ex, his daughter, to solicitors. He told me that his daughter was coming to live with us, the mother would be dead in a week, then she would be dead imminently within 2 days, it was so much drama. At the time, it was also incredibly upsetting, and so very dramatic. He cried real tears. He really threw himself into actor in this position and carried it out for months. When I suspected that he might be lying and faking the whole thing, he would yell at me “how could I be so heartless, his daughters mother was dying, his daughter would be without a mother”
Truth – She was alive, not in hospital, and was home and well and not dying of cancer. She was probably at home watching tv, having a regular day.
This is just a selection of lies that were told, in a short space of time. All of it was designed to manipulate and to deceive.
It is absolutely shattering when you realise that the person that you were with, the person that you trusted, that you thought was your soul mate, that almost everything that has been told to you is a lie. This is when you realise that you have been dating a compulsive pathological liar. A person who finds it easier to lie than to tell the truth, a person that has no respect for you, your life, your welfare, or your needs. All that they are thinking is ‘what is in it for me’
Uncovering the lies at the end, brings another kind of grief. A grief of the person that you THOUGHT you were with. A realisation that the person that you thought you loved, does not exist. As the lies are unravelled, it is also a very confusing time. When the sociopath knows that their lies will be found out. They will take off and move onto the next victim
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