The first thing that we need to get straight, is that YOU are not the crazy one. You might be reading this, and feel, ‘how could I have let this happen to me?’

Sociopaths and Psychopaths are truly crazy. And if you spend too much time, they will convince you that YOU are the crazy one. When you get time away from the sociopath, after the heartache has gone, and the fog and cloud begins to leave your head, and you start to detach from the control, and lies, and deception, you hit a place called reality. Often you haven’t been in reality for a long time. At first, reality can be a painful space.

Space is a good word, that empty space. Within that space was the illusion in your head, that you were fed, that consisted only of lies and deception. When you are with the sociopath, they will deliberately belittle you, and make you feel like you are going crazy. They will feed information into you, subtle mind control telling you

• What others think of you (which might be lies)
• How weak you are
• How much there is something wrong with you

When you believe these things that are told about you, you start to withdraw. It’s hurtful, and painful You are fed the seeds of doubt into your mind, about others opinions of you. You will regularly hear

• Everyone says
• Oh no wonder this person said
• I went out and saw this person who said this about you

If the sociopath is very charismatic, they will do this under the guise of ‘helping you’ will say things like

• Don’t worry, we can go out together
• Defending you, to you against the other person to your face (putting down the other person, telling you that you are right)
• They obviously don’t know you like I do, I love you

You could come off thinking that everybody hates you, nobody likes you, that the sociopath is your best friend. After all it is the sociopath who is taking care of you, looking after you, and everyone else has turned against you. If you react against the false allegations, especially by having a rant on social networking sites, you are made out to be the crazy one. By doing this, by reacting to false allegations, you can then be accused of being

• Paranoid
• Delusional
• Negative
• Trouble maker

This will then reinforce what the sociopath has already said about you. Now the seeds of doubt that were being sown in your mind are starting to become a reality. This is mind control. You can waste a lot of energy defending the person that you really are, after you are accused (deliberately) of being someone that you are not.

How the sociopath will make you feel about YOU

To create a healthy balanced reationship, you need two people who feel happy, healthy and whole about themselves. Someone who doesn’t need someone else to define him/her.

With the sociopathic relationship, and with any other mental disorder, the relationship can quickly become toxic. In the relationship with the sociopath, the crazy making behaviour can make you feel

• Unwanted
• Unloved
• Unpopular
• Ill
• Sick
• Stressed
• Traumatised
• Isolated
• Withdrawn
• Angry
• Bitter
• Confused
• Ashamed
• Humiliated
• Embarassed
• Defensive

Those seeds of thought that are put into your head, can go around in your head, like a film that will not switch off. The sense of hurt and betrayal can feel overwhelming, and you might have a desire to ‘put the record straight’ for people to know the truth. You feel that you are constantly trying to defend a person that you are portrayed to be, that you know you are not. This is EMOTIONAL ABUSE!!

STOP DON’T DO THIS!!!

Doing this falls right into the sociopaths trap. This is exactly what they want you to do. Remember how the seeds of thought were planted in YOUR mind. They will also be planted in other peoples minds, about you too. You reacting, will only reinforce the lies that have been told about you.

I feel awful, how can things get better

The only way for things to get better, is to establish No Contact, and to come out of the fog of illusion and deception. this means

• Block phone calls
• Block texts
• Block email
• ESPECIALLY DO NOT LOOK AT THEIR SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES!!!! (I am going to write my next post about this and what happens when you do)

By establishing No contact, you give yourself room to breath. Space to think. The longer that you have no contact, the fog of illusion will leave your mind. The lies that were told will start to disperse, and you will start to see the truth. You need this, as if you do not have time and space, you will not be able to process what has happened to you, and heal. If you stay in contact, your focus on energy will be on the sociopath and not on you. You need to bring attention back to you, focus back to you.

The sociopath sees life as game. You are a player in his game. The only way to stop the abuse is to stop playing the game. Remove yourself, allow yourself time to heal and recover. When you do …. you will start to see the truth….

The truth will set you free!! 🙂

Words © datingasociopath.com