Control is everything to the sociopath, and life to them is simply a game. A game to be played and a game that they will attempt to win at any cost.
Sociopaths love to play the victim and to turn the blame around on you for their wrong doings. They are expert at this, never are they wrong. If they claim that they are in the wrong, this would only be to keep you and use you some more.
When the sociopath wants to get out of a situation, they are cowards, and will often present to you, the ‘impossible scenario’. What this is, is to tell you that you NEED to do something. For you to be together.
The sociopath knows that you won’t take that option, so they get off scott free all the while making you believe that it is your fault, as you didn’t keep to your end of the deal.
Examples of the impossible scenario
- I am with another woman now, if you want me, you will have to come chase me, and prove that you love me.
- The sociopath has been abusing you, and then says ‘I have to move into your home, or we will split up’
- Being a terrible father, then saying, I will have them only if I can have them overnight
It is basically blackmail, and the choice that is offered to you, will always be the one that would force you to be degraded, or it is an impossible deal that cannot happen.
The sociopath knows this. Rather than being a grown up, they play stupid games. Most people would say, no this isn’t going to work for me. Not the sociopath, always they have to have you and everyone else believing that this is all YOUR fault. The sociopath is the victim and you are the bad one.
- ‘I so wanted to be with her, but she wouldn’t let me, I can’t be with her if we don’t live together’.
- ‘I really loved her, and wanted to be with her, I said I would be with her, if she proved that she wanted me, but she didn’t bother, so I am with someone else now’.
- ‘She is so controlling, I offered to have the children overnight, but she wouldn’t let me’.
What this achieves for the sociopath, is a sense of defeat for you, with you feeling that you are partially to blame, and leaves the sociopath WINNING. They have now got EXACTLY what they want.
Sociopaths are cowards
Despite their bravado and bullying behaviour, really at the heart of it, sociopaths are nothing more than overgrown teenagers or children, akin to having a temper tantrum against their parent who is the enemy.
Sociopaths like to punish you. By offering you the impossible scenario they leave you confused, and feeling punished.
Sociopaths are cowards to pretty much everyone that they meet. Most grown up people don’t play stupid mind games. Dating a sociopath is like dating an overgrown schoolboy, and perhaps not so overgrown, just a school boy.
If you have been offered the ‘impossible scenario’ don’t take this on board that it is ‘your fault’. It isn’t your fault. It is just that they are weak cowards, who offer impossible senarios to manipulate and control you.
Copyright datingasociopath.com 2015
Dating a Sociopath 
Can’t open this one?. Thanks so much for your wonderful posts. Xo
Best,
Sleep my friend send it tomorrow ! Peace and freedom to you! Positiv
I guess it dose not matter to me I have let it go no reason to hear a lie! Truth belongs to him life just passed by and what I thought was my best friend is gone forever ! My wish is to erase the pain, not for me just have to endure his empty soul for a chance that true love could find him! How sweet that would be! Love is a chance we take never mistake two souls colliding for sencerity and embrace that holds destiny to the test! Peace and love to the end!
There is something wrong with the link to this post. 😦
Oh my goodness. The ‘impossible’ scenario. Mine did that to get what he wanted. And the only thing he wanted was to drive me crazy and watch me fall apart.
He’d tell me, I don’t like it when you talk to that person. So I would actually stop talking to my friends because it made him unhappy. Then HE would stop talking to me for weeks. So I would start talking to my friends then and he would come back with, “You never really liked me. I never really meant anything to you, or you wouldn’t be talking to so-and-so like I asked you to.” (we worked together)
I would come back with, “Well, you weren’t talking to me, what did you expect, me to sit here and not interact with ANYONE?” And he would say “Yes. See? Obviously I don’t mean anything to you and never did. This hurt me and violated any trust I had in you.” And I would apologize and tell him of COURSE he meant the world to me and I liked him better than everyone else!
INSANITY. Somehow, me speaking to co-workers was hurting him. I was the bad guy for speaking with co-workers.
I’d email him. He wouldn’t email back. I’d email him again. He wouldn’t respond. Days later I’d send him an email telling him I was done with this, I found it hurtful that he wasn’t responding to me, and I was done playing the game. I’d get a response a second later with an angry reaction. “I’m the bad guy because I didn’t respond to your emails? I was BUSY. And now you don’t want to talk to me anymore? YOU are the horrible one.” And I’d find myself apologizing. I KNEW he was checking his phone every minute. HE HAD NOTHING ELSE GOING ON IN HIS LIFE BESIDES ME AT THE TIME. He would ignore me until I got to the point where I was done, then he’d lash out at me, and I’d apologize.
Every time I stepped back and looked at the situation I was like, how could I have fallen for that AGAIN.
If I really stuck to it and stayed away from him, I’d get the hurt little boy saying “Please don’t stop talking to me. Please don’t stop emailing me.” Then the SAME scenario would play out. Rinse. Repeat.
All along I felt in my gut, he’s acting like a child. He can’t communicate like a normal person. Everything is a game to him. If I asked him what he had for lunch he wouldn’t tell me, because he was so focused on not giving me what I wanted, no matter what I wanted. “You want to know what i had for lunch, do you? Well, then I’m not going to TELL you.” (A child having a tantrum). I was like, that makes no sense. I’m just asking you what you ate for lunch. And that would turn into “You have to have your nose in EVERYTHING I do, don’t you??? I’m not going to tell you ANYTHING from now on.
And all along, he was such a coward. With everyone and everything. His family would ask him for help with a yard sale or to help a relative with something on their house and he would NEVER help them. He always had some excuse that made him look like the wounded one. “Well, I’d love to help, but I threw my back out again, and I don’t have anyone to help me here, so no, i can’t shovel uncle’s John’s snow, I can’t even shovel my own, so I don’t even know how I’m going to take care of my driveway.” (And he hadn’t thrown out his back.)
That always made me sick to my stomach. I would ask him, why don’t you help your uncle? And he would say, “Because I don’t want to. There’s nothing in it for me.” And he wouldn’t bat an eyelash.
And all along I would think to myself………..this person is NEVER going to be here for me if I really needed something. What am I doing?
I’m out now though. Staying strong. And I think he knows the game is over for good. I’m so relieved. I just find my mind going back to his stuff and I come to this blog and read and re-read and I get my head back on straight.
🙂 he did the impossible scenario repeatedly. What that means is to force you to make the decision. Which really is no choice at all.