Wherever you are in your life today. Try to focus on today, and to make plans for the future.
Sociopaths are sneaky, devious, lying, manipulative, cheating, using, betraying, snakes in the grass. Ha and this was me being ‘polite’.
If the sociopath is being nice, always this is because they want something. Imagine that, spending your time with someone who is always lying to you. Always playing a game, seriously? You don’t need that kind of drama in your life!
Creating a new world
It doesn’t matter if you have NOTHING left of your life. It doesn’t matter if the Sociopath stole your life, your friends, your reputation, your finances, your home, your personality. It really doesn’t matter. Well, of course, it matters, life would be far easier if you hadn’t met them, and their lying, cheating, sneaky ways. You might feel that the time that you spent together, you achieved nothing. Nothing but ‘drama’ and being a one person audience member to the actor/ress that is the Sociopath. But believe me, you have achieved far more than you realise!!
You have learned a lot of survival skills. These survival skills are going to carry you forward, and make your life more brilliant than it ever was before.
If you are grieving, heartbroken and sad, you might not see this yet. You might think that I am lying. You might think, that I am being wildly optimistic. You might even want their lying cheating ways back in your life. Even if you are sure the Sociopath loved you (as much as a Socio can love). STOP !!….. don’t go along that pathway. This isn’t the direction that you are heading in. Being with a sociopath is merely just a sideways step in life. One where you will go round in circles and achieve NOTHING.
Do not contact them (don’t feed the trolls)
Do not give them any of your time today
Stop thinking of the ‘happy’ times (as these times were all manufactured for THEIR benefit, not yours)
Instead, let’s think of reality! What does the reality of dating a sociopath look like? (you might need to take off your rose coloured glasses for this one).
Daily life being with a sociopath
- You are lied to
- You are manipulated
- You have no control over your own life
- You are dictated to, dominated, owned and possessed
- You will never achieve anything of your own
- You will constantly have someone attached by your side, MONITORING your every movement
- Natural joy, upliftment, happiness and fun is removed, and replaced by ‘sociopath entertainment’
- You lose friends and family out of your life
- It costs you a lot of money
- Life will go round in a circle
- You live with false hope, that is dictated to, by a liar
- Your view of the world is distorted
- You are lied to
- You are lied to
- You are lied to
You get the picture, and I am sure that you can think of some more that I haven’t covered. Being lied to, manipulated, deceived and controlled on a daily basis. Is NO fun. No, it sucks the life out of you. It takes away your natural ability to feel joy for anything else. It almost certainly stops you from being successful in you own right.
You become, well like a slave. You might not know this. In fact the sociopath might even play the image of being YOUR slave. But this is, just an illusion.
How to get back yourself – how to get back your life
The First thing that you need to do, is to LET GO. Realise that this person is NOT GOING TO CHANGE. No they will not change, because they cannot change. It is in their brain. Likely they had similar relationships before you, and indeed they will have similar relationships after you. It is nothing to do with you. What happened to you is NOT your fault!
When you let go, you might feel this huge empty space. A space, that you think will only be healed by the sociopath. If you look back, you could feel that the only way to feel normal, and happy, is to be with them?
This is another lie. A lie that was peddled to you by the sociopath. It wasn’t that they were the only ones to make you happy. It is because they remove anything else in your world that naturally brings you joy and happiness. They suck natural happy out of you, and your life. So that you THINK that they are the ones who are making you happy. Again, this is just an illusion. In this post, we will not be sprinkling any more sociopath illusion dust.
To get YOU back, you need to go to the places that reflect the TRUE YOU.
- Old friends who knew you before Socio (who isn’t mutual friends) people you knew for a long time
- Old hobbies
- Focusing on work, where you use skills, that you had before meeting the sociopath
- Films that you watched that made you happy BEFORE you met the sociopath
- Art and creative activities
- Sport to burn off your anger
What really happens when you start to let go. Take today as a new day, and focus on you and your life?
When you let go, the twisted reality of the world that the sociopath forced you to live in. Is gone. Instead you are faced with your own reality. At first, this can be incredibly painful. Particularly if you have been isolated from everybody, and faced considerable losses. In the very beginning, your world, is still partially altered by their brainwashing.
Why connecting to the past REALLY works!!
Some of you might not have given up their entire world for the Sociopath. Some of you might have kept your lives intact. For others, they were isolated, and separated from what naturally gave them joy (the Sociopath is jealous, insecure, and didn’t want anyone else to steal you away) is also competitive too, and likes to be the ONLY one to make you ‘happy’
Connecting to the past works. It works because, in your past connections, skills, hobbies, interests, you are shown a different mirror image. Your friends/family know the old you the real and true you, who was free thinking and not manipulated and controlled. I recall (this is how twisted my head was and how brainwashed I was), going out on my birthday after we had split with my family. I remember being elated, just how much fun these people were, how cool they were, how much I loved them….. In a moment, I stopped and thought, ‘hang on these people are my FAMILY’ this isn’t anything new, this is who I was, BEFORE I met him.
Going back to the past will reflect back the truth of you. Not the distorted mirror image that was given to you. This, helps to undo brainwashing and mind control, as other people, can feed back who you really are. Even doing a job with old skills can offer you this too.
The sociopath will do all that they can, once they have captured you, to keep you away from anything that reflects the TRUTH about who you are. This is how they take ownership and control of somebody. This is why you struggle to move forward.
The only truth, was YOU. The truth of you, does not lie in the past with the sociopath. To heal, you need to go back further, to BEFORE you were abused.
How long does healing and recovery take? Really the choice is yours!! However long you want it to take!!
I promise that this does work. But you have to WANT to get away from them. You have to WANT to heal and recover.
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