The most important thing to a sociopath is control. A victim is of no use, if they are unable to be manipulated and controlled. When a sociopath feels that he is truly losing control you will see the mask ‘slip’ and a narcissistic rage can occur.
What this means is that the sociopath can feel real or perceived injury by you ignoring him, or doing something which they think has injured their pride, or by doing an action that lets them think that you will leave them, in fact anything at all. The sociopath does not like to lose control.
The first time that you witness this rage, it can be quite alarming. After all, all you have seen up until this point, is Mr calm, Mr smooth, Mr charm, Mr in control, Mr perfect, Mr ‘tell you, all that you want to hear’.
When the sociopath loses grip of control, the character will change. Not only will the character change. You will witness a change in the face, the eyes become empty, often dark, black even. Colour will drain from the face, and the facial muscles will be tight with tension. The atmosphere will be tense, and you could feel threatened and frightened.
What you witness when the mask slips, is a man who shouts, who yells, and who gaslights. The sociopath is threatening, angry and confrontational. When you witness narcissistic rage the sociopath looks different, and acts different. It is like there are two different people. The sociopath is always two different people. The persona that you see (that is manipulating you) and the one that you rarely see – the one that is behind the mask.
You might be confused, and wonder what it is that you have done wrong? The truth is, that you have done nothing wrong. This is the real person behind the mask, it is the person that you will witness repeatedly, when the sociopath feels that they are losing control. When you assert your own right, your own personality, when you try to grow yourself away from him, the sociopaths desire for control becomes more desperate, and narcissistic rage will occur. The sociopath will
- Minimise your experiences with others
- Invalidate your feelings
- Gas light you and try to make you feel bad or guilty for wanting to do something else
- Become angry and try to make you feel guilty
- Falsely accuse you of crazy things that have no bearing on reality
- Try to hem you in, and pin you down
- Invade your personal space
- Facial features, including eyes and facial muscles will visibly change
I can only describe the narcissistic rage, as a meltdown of insanity. Words and accusations make no logical sense, and you protest your innocence. But this is another form of manipulation designed to control you and manipulate you. Remember that the sociopath is about control, and he uses mind control to own you. He uses fear to control you. At no time will the sociopath cause more fear than when you witness narcissistic rage.
What might surprise you, is that just as suddenly as the sociopath can have a narcissistic rage meltdown, he can equally regain composure, and return swiftly back to the charming, useful, helpful person that he was before. If you wish to challenge the behaviour. The sociopath will not want to talk about it. They will act as if it never happened. Sometimes this experience can feel quite eerie, and can make you question your own feelings, and your own sense of rational thought.
If you truly knew that this simmering need for control, and inner energy was behind him all of the time, he would risk losing you. The sociopath will not risk losing you before he had used you up for all of his source of supply, this would be his loss. Sociopaths do not like losing. The relationship will end, when the sociopath decides that it will end.
Sociopaths always have an agenda. Whilst sociopaths are out of control, you are witnessing this loss of control. Do not think that this is not pre-meditated. It is always planned the sociopath knows exactly what they are doing. They control through fear and nothing is more scary than the narcissistic rage. This is where you experience ‘crazy’. You might feel overwhelmed when you are on the receiving end of narcissistic rage. You might feel confused, at this sudden change of character, you will certainly feel intimidated and possibly frightened.
You might feel bitter and resentful towards the sociopath for hurting you, but the sociopath will:
- Gas light you to make you believe that it was your fault
- Tell you that it was something that you did wrong
- Tell you that you are making a bigger scene than is really necessary
If you have just been on the receiving end of this, pay attention. You are seeing a brief glimpse of the real man behind the mask, and what he really thinks of you. His real feelings of contempt for you. It will not be a one off either. As this is the real man and you will witness this again, and again and again. Pay attention, because at the time of narcissistic rage, the sociopath is showing more of his true self to you, than he does at any other time.
WARNING: You are more at risk of violence – at the time of narcissistic rage, than any other time. At the time of narcissistic rage, the sociopath is not only fearing losing control of you. They also lose control of themselves. A total lack of self control.
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