Despite the ‘moral’ and ‘responsible’ mask that the sociopath first shows, the sociopath is the child of society, you might wait until they just ‘grow up’ a bit. The truth is, that they never will, sociopaths are drama driven children, playing centre stage in their own screenplay.
Sociopaths are immature, because there is something missing in their brain that makes a person grow up, act responsible, and have the ability to take care of someone else’s welfare. They are unable to put someone else’s needs before themselves (although they do a great job of feigning that this is exactly what they are doing).
Of course, they are not open about this. Whilst the immaturity might seem like fun, and being carefree. It won’t be so much fun when he is being carefree with your money, your life, your social networks, your job and career, or your home and material possessions. They area also just as carefree with who they give their time and attention to, you will never be able to give them enough attention, and they can never have enough attention from everyone else.
Sociopaths are great at talking the talk, but they are not too great at walking the walk. Which means they talk about a lot, usually this is about absolutely nothing at all. The rest of the time is false empty promises, selling you a product that they don’t own to sell. (see sociopaths and stalling for time)
Sociopaths do not see it as their responsibility to
- Pay bills (including the importance of the roof over your head)
- Pay for you (unless part of a longer term goal)
- Plan for the future (only in terms of false empty promises)
- Look out for your needs and welfare (They are King/Queen – you are merely the pawn in the game of human chess)
- Put down roots in anyway shape or form (they don’t want to be tied long term – just in case)
- Pay for holidays (this would require advanced thinking, forward planning, thinking ahead, commitment, and responsibility) if they break you down enough, you will pay for them to go away too, after all you need a break! …. and you won’t be allowed to go alone.
No matter how moral, responsible, caring, altruistic the sociopath APPEARS to be, this is just an illusion. In reality they have as much responsibility as a 13 year old teenager, left at home for the weekend. Anything else is faked, to look and appear normal.
The impact for you, being with someone so irresponsible
Dating what is effectively a child wearing big grown up pants, and living a life of respectability, while behind closed doors, they have temper tantrums of a 4 year old, can be hard going. The impact on you and your life, can be disastrous.
At first you will not notice the downfall of your life, after all the sociopath appears to be so much fun! It won’t be long and you will be expected to be the one person audience, to the only person on stage. Your needs and your own life, will soon become obsolete.
The sociopath is clever, this isn’t the only stage in which they play starring role. You see the sociopath has many stages, within each stage is a different audience. The act that is given on stage will be different, dependent on who is in the audience. Always they play starring role, to ensure that all attention is on them.
You had better make sure that you clap and applaud, for if you fail to do so, you will watch the sociopath crumble in front of you. You will be accused of ruining their play. Or, how could you not applaud them? Have you been watching another play? …. you know that this is impossible, the theatre door is locked, there has only been one show, and it has been running for a very very long time (yawn). You start to protest…..
But of course, protesting is useless, as by now the sociopath is convinced, that if you are not applauding them on stage, then you must be applauding someone else. This is despite that the only stage you can see in front of you, or that you are allowed to see, is ‘theirs’.
The impact on your life, of being with such a drama driven, attention seeking, irresponsible individual, can be a disaster, a tragic episode, on par with the final act of Romeo and Juliet, only this time your realise that it wasn’t about love at all.
You see, while you are busy watching the sociopath on the stage, you don’t get time to attend to your own life. As the sociopath isn’t going to be the responsible one, and as your time is taken up watching them on stage, your own life starts to fall apart.
The true cost
- Your home
- Your career
- Your family
- Your friends
- Your self esteem
- Your finances
- Your health
- Your sanity
- Your looks
Think of every area of your life, and believe me the sociopath with their irresponsible nature and the ability to act the child, forcing you to be the cheerleading parent, can destroy every area of your life.
If you escape them, and are stupid enough to return for a second time, don’t think that their plea’s that they will change, are honest. The sociopath cannot and will not change (even if they truly believe that they can). If they return, it is only to lock you back in the theatre to watch them on stage – and take what you had rebuilt, and anything that they hadn’t managed to take the first time around.
Sociopaths are like a virus, they spread, like a contamination, affecting all areas of your life. If you think that this is an exaggeration, you haven’t dated a sociopath.
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