An important film, to understand Gaslighting,which is a form of emotional abuse.
Gaslighting will alter your sense of reality. It will make you feel dependent on your abuser, to define what IS reality. Gaslighting is consistent, insidious, the abuser will monitor every movement. They do this, to know what you are thinking, what you are doing, if you say something that doesn’t match to what they perceive as reality. They will fill the gap between, what you say, and what they perceive to be real, and then twist it. They can deliberately make you sick, and keep you sick.
Dating a Sociopath 
Set myself free? I sit here be I g stood up for my sociology to show up. Because I lost my car now when he does t answer my. Hou e is to ride across town to seeuy what’s or just go on my merry way and do whatever else I would tonite.
There is nothing elsr. He’s trapped me so I did have a date tonite. I get stare and wonder and call and care and cry and angst over where he is. Why I am so stupid? Is he just about here? Did I say something now that will make him punish or aVoid me? Is he fucking her now instead?
And why did I think he’d show? I am nobody. I have no one. I ll lose my house very soon and then kill myself and my dogs with me. That’s a sociopath Luv for me. I’m dead to him already except for when he’s bored or horney or wants to make me suffer…but throw on organs and it all is wiped clean. Pity my dogs. My big dogs knows it’s soon. It’s horrible to see her hurt watching me be didsolved. I am alone and I still hope for a handful of his time before I find the rope.
Hey you! You are not alone. How you are feeling right now, you CAN heal and recover, and feel better about you. I promise you this.
This is why there is focus on establishing no contact with them, and focusing on you. I know that he makes you feel worthless, but you are not.
If you let him go…… you will start to grow!!! Can you start to do no contact, beginning tomorrow? A brand new day to focus on you. I am not going to say that it is easy, or that it won’t hurt. I probably will. But what I can say is that you need to remove yourself, so that you can undo the mind control, brainwashing that he has done to you and begin to see the truth.
He isn’t worth taking your life for. You do know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? If you are really feeling so bad, please seek out the number of a suicide hotline in your area, and talk through your feelings to someone. How you are feeling now, this will pass…. if you remove yourself from the situation. Stop playing his games, and focus on you.
Really good film, Pos, is this where the term came from? Eerie and very close to what happened to me x
Hi Rachel, yes, it is based upon the film called Gaslight, there are two of them, am unsure which one. I have looked for the film for a long time, but couldn’t find it. I think this is what causes the fog of confusion for the victim, and also why the victim does feel considerably better in terms of their headspace, and the energy that they get back, once the sociopath is out of their life. It is true, when you let go, you start to grow again.
hey thanks so much…I have been reading and reading and reading. I’ve just ended a 3 year soul destroying relationship with a sociopah and this site has helped me stay stong. its been a difficult journey especially because I am only now realizing I was in a relationship with a sociopath twice now. anyway im trying to stay strong and work on me
I hope acornjen733, you will be strong as well. Ive been there before and its hard being let down by some one u love so much….but dont give up and most of all dont give up on yourself
Please know it will get better. It has been a year for me and I still sometimes feel the way you do but just sometimes now NOT everyday. Please please know it will get better. I did not believe people when they told me that and they could not possibly know how I was feeling. I poured pills out on a bed contemplated but decided against it. I lost my car, home, dog, personal belongings, material possessions and dignity. I would read the stories here and really could not relate how I would ever be better but it does happen. Love your dogs, yourself, I know how hard it is but please give it time. Acornjen, maybe some counseling – It helped me with understanding a little more, not much help for the heart but it is a good start.
Omg acornjen, no sociopath is worth killing yourself for. He will have won then.
No,or little contact,as he’ll carry on his control.
I’m weak,and never thought I could break away,but I did,and so can you.
Have you got good friends,and family? If you have,talk to them,it really helps,honestly it does. Time,away from the abuser,is the key.
I only got away 5 months ago,and I’m fairly positive now. I’m dealing with things,I’ve got a job again,and I actually laugh again.
You can do it,you really can. X
Get a grip you control your destiny not him! Stuff comes and goes people matter you matter! Be strong get out and walk talk to God his gifts are inside you! Blonde111
Stuff comes and goes people matter you matter! Be strong get out and walk talk to God his gifts are inside you! Blonde111
I don’t want my abuser or anyone else just my kids. I’m Not interested at what he does at all. Just want to be my own person do what I like when I like. I never formed emotional connection to this person or my abuser my hart belongs to my kids don’t have any room for anyone else. How does my abuser moneter my every move is the part I don’t understand ?? I hope he gets busted soon before I edvertise his name. Yes I do attract psychos because I’m female if I was a man he would have backed off by now. I hope he gets punished for supporting my ex and destroying my life as well as my kids.
I’m independent now and don’t need no one specially him.
Stop having me followed right now I’m never coming to you.
I love staying home. He can not control me at home. Don’t like people anyway they are mostly full of shit and lies. Have a crap day you control freak, I hope you drive your self even more crazy.
hey thanks so much…I have been reading and reading and reading. I’ve just ended a 3 year soul destroying relationship with a sociopah and this site has helped me stay stong. its been a difficult journey especially because I am only now realizing I was in a relationship with a sociopath twice now. anyway im trying to stay strong and work on me
I hope acornjen733, you will be strong as well. Ive been there before and its hard being let down by some one u love so much….but dont give up and most of all dont give up on yourself
Hi Soulsurvivor, and welcome to the site! When you say you were in a relationship with one twice, do you mean two in a row, or do you mean you returned and went back to the same one?
hey pos sorry for the misunderstanding. ..I was in a realtionship with two different sociopaths but only realized the first one was actually a socipath after dating the last one. I dated SP1 without knowing she was one and that sent me on a crazy journey…I was still recovering from that relationship when I got into the relationship with SP2. I was really young and didnt suspect a thing in the first relationship. now that I am discovering and learning so much about who and what a sociopath really is….all the pieces are falling into place. there are alot of things that I have also done in both relationships that I’ve not been proud of. hopefully this is a full circle moment for me. Which I believe it is. I have been researching and reading for a while now but only recently got the courage to finally let go of the BOTH of them. Im from South Africa and im hoping to start some sort of support group for victims/survivors. but first I would like to say thank you, this site has literally saved my soul.
Hey this happened to me too. The first, I had no idea. I just didn’t understand why this person was so cruel. I just didn’t get it. This person ripped my soul out, I never thought I would recover. 7 months after we split, I met the charismatic sociopath…… In fact, I met 3 in a row…. all different but all similar. Yes do it in terms of starting a support group in South Africa, awareness is spreading – and awareness needs to be spread around the world! Will make you feel better too. For me the most pain came first, and the second time I was learning the patterns and behaviour.
I feel the same way about more pain being felt the first time. That realtionship changed who I was for a long time and what I believed in. Some part of me was stronger in dealing with the second. Its unbelievable the impact such a human being can have on you. But I draw strength in knowing that I can impact on other peoples lives positively and I hope to do so daily. if there are just as many socipaths destroying souls out there then there are just as many soul survivors like ourselves out there fighting right back. This site and reading about other peoples experiences gives me strength to take another step forward. human and social interaction can also be beautiful and healing amongst all the darkness I try to never to forget that
Acornjen733.
Never , ever give up . It might take you years to feel ok again , took me 2 years to even approach normality again .
I promise you it eases out of the dark place eventually although it doesn’t seem like it now
👍👍👍👍👍
Hi, strength, peace to all.
I noticed that after being with my Narc (now ex again) of 2 1/2 yrs, that i always get a patch of eczma- itchy rash & also thrush, or white tongue, sometimes in 2 places, sinisitis or perpetual sniffles, cold – after living together, my health goes downhill after a few wks back together (his demands, he wont let me have hardly any space) eg 4 days a wk together, 3 apart. Only near end of of rship does he give me space, when he wants it & didnt come home for dinner last 2 or 3 nites. It was easier to ask him to leave as he didnt try to persuade me much, as he used to do. So maybe he found new supply? Gives me time to finally heal get over him at long last finally. I guess others here also noticed health troubles happen or increase after prolonged time with the sociopath/narcisst.
hey pigletta…..ive gone through that as well….ive experienced alot more problems with my health in the 3 years with the sociopath than I ever did before. I believe the emotional impact of everything that we face impacts on us physically. its common with depression as well. people are known to have serious health issues when they are really emotionally distressed. anyway now that the narc is gone you can focus on recovering holistically. …
That’s strange,I too suffered with bugs and illnesses more,when I was with my ex. He seem to actually enjoy me being ill too.
Also,he’d make it out,to be far worse than it actually was.
I remember him telling people,he couldn’t wait for me to retire,as I was ill. Mmm😏 well… Thanks to him,I’ve had to get work again.
I am still very numb and happy to have lived through not trying to be harsh or insensitive I love my Badd Man madly can’t shake off the thought of how this affects him looking for the next? Never at peace or content with who God created him to be! Blonde111
We can not give our control over to anyone but Jesus! Love is about mutuel respect and partnership loyalty and long suffering trouble is both people have to be in to win!
Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow and commented:
absolutely their goal is to make and keep you sick. They want power to control and manipulate their victims. Once you realise, its not easy to get away from this either
Thanks Marilyn, you are so right, this is exactly what they do, keep you ill, keep you sick and keep you dependent to them.
Absolutely right, i have known a person like this for several years now. They dont back off, they wont admit they did anything wrong. You have to physically cut the umbilical cord to them to get rid of them sugar.
It is not easy to get away from. My health has declined since knowing him and I am exhausted.
It doesnt get better matt either. They run you into the ground. Suck the life out of you until there is nothing left. I felt exhausted too. I still do sometimes he sucked not only the life out of me but drained and stole my own life from me.
Tell them off ! Don’t let anyone hurt you put up walls ignor and agrivate them back! Treat people how they treat you don’t give anyone your heart! Be independent !