Sometimes I am inspired to write, by google searches that have had access to the page. Today there is one, which asks
How to get the sociopath to respect you
The truth is, you will never get the sociopath to respect you. The sociopath is by nature, self serving, self centred, and basically selfish. They can do good things, and can be very helpful. But always there is an agenda and a motive for their helpfulness. They usually want something from you.
The sociopath doesn’t really have self respect, let alone respect for others. The closest that you might come, is if he feels that you are an equal to him (you might cause him damage). But this is unlikely as sociopaths are also narcissists. So they are constantly seeking narcissistic supply.
The sociopath usually thinks that they are smarter than (and they are usually intelligent),and above other people. They lack moral compass, and whilst they seek respect, they are not very respectful.
You need to look at the reality, what the sociopath does, to everyone that they come into contact with:
- Lies
- Deception
- Manipulation
- Control
- Cheating
- Theft (sometimes)
- Parasitic lifestyle (living off others, usually without their consent)
All of these character traits, show a lack of respect for someone else. It is not right to lie to someone that you respect.
The sociopath might feign respect. But it is not genuine. Seeking this from him, would be a fruitless exercise. You would waste your time, and go around in circles. The sociopath thinks only of themselves and their own needs. Your needs are not important.
When you have respect for someone, you have respect for the other persons rights. Their welfare, their choice to make decisions for themselves. You allow them space and room to have freedom and to grow. You are honest with someone you respect, and mindful of their feelings.
To have respect, you have empathy, and try to have understanding for the other person. You don’t lie, cheat or steal.
The sociopath is unable to behave in this way towards others. If it appears that he is behaving this way towards others, it is faked. Behind the mask of charisma, there is an angry controlling character who thinks only of himself.
You cannot change the sociopath they cannot even change themselves. They find lies more easy to express than the truth. They find reality more difficult than living in a fantasy world that they create. They are manipulative, cunning and deceptive. By their very nature, of who they truly are, because of the patterns in the brain, you could never teach a sociopath to respect you.
You would be better off accepting this fact, and focusing your energy instead, on healing you! :
Ps – another one that came up in my google search today was ‘how to master my sociopathy‘ – honestly, there are more and more sociopaths and psychopaths writing now. If they could stay focused (not get bored) and write a book, it would be interesting to read.
Dating a Sociopath 
Confessions of a Sociopath. It’s a Random
House title available this month. I read an excerpt on PsychologyToday’s website. It’s ininteresting to me because the smug asshole writing it (a female sociopath) isn’t to be trusted. I think you would feel the same. 🙂
It isn’t interesting to me. I hate spellcheck when it doesn’t work!! Hehe!
Yeah its the author of sociopath world… that is who wrote it. I only know that as some regulars over on the forum were pulling it apart and saying she wasn’t a real sociopath? . i haven’t read it so I don’t know. I do find blogs written by self confessed sociopaths really interesting though. There is one very disturbing one on here though – …. but most are ok.
I had one sociopath blogger I followed for a while. I got bored with her arrogance and illogical thinking. Found her too predictable. I admit that reading what she wrote served as validation for a while but then reacting to her became too much work, like when I was with my ex. Hehe!
I think for me as the last one was charismatic. And watching his bizarre repeated behaviour, I just found it interesting. – but that said I did work all my life with homeless people, so I find different people quite interesting as long as they are not causing carnage in my life. Its the repeated behaviour that really fascinated me. How they repeated it, despite it was really obvious that is what they were doing. I am just thinking today how every time that there was final discard, he stole my personal possessions. Just like a serial killer steals something personal from the victim after killing. Its bizarre…. guess a bit creepy really. But i don’t hate him for stealing either. Maybe one day I i might trust someone again, and can meet someone normal. Thats is going to be surreal, its been too long 😦
There are MANY more normal and healthy people in the world than otherwise. It will feel abnormal to you, I’m sure, when you finally meet one, but you won’t meet one if all you recognize and focus on are these fools. Everyone will start looking like a sociopath to you. You might even start thinking YOU are a sociopath. That’s why you should focus on how loving and good people think and read their blogs instead of the sociopath’s crap. Hehe! XOXO
I have been friends with a guy that I thought was my friend. It started out when I met him and let him move in with me. We were roommates for 6 months. I didn’t know that he was a sociopathic narcissistic person. I then became his slave…..Literally, I did everything he wanted me to do. I worked as his personal assistant, kind of making me a sociopathic narcissist (which isn’t true). He then moved to Florida because the only woman he was leaching off of did. So, 9 months later (after I left rehab), he said that he really needed me in Florida. So, like an addiction, I moved there. I have no friends or family here. He isolated me, just like what a narcissistic sociopath would do. So now, I worked for him in Florida, doing the same thing. He started a sports agency, and I worked for him. It did so-so, but, he made all of the money. I was still living in sober living/halfway houses. You see, I am an alcoholic and he used that against me.
Long story short. I was living in his smoke shop store that he opened up in August last year. I moved in, in October 2012. On Jan 1, 2013, I got fired for being too drunk. So instead of sleeping in my car (which he wanted me to do because I have done that on other nights), I went to a homeless shelter. This was not what he expected. He was a control freak. I feel that he is the worst type of many of the bad people out there. He made me gas lamp everything…Like it was all my fault.
Now that I moved out of the shelter (4 months later), and have a job and live on my own, he is now cyber stalking me at my job. He’s trying to get me fired. I work for a MAJOR pharmaceutical distributer in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I need recourse for his actions. I spoke with a lawyer and they said that because I haven’t been fired or reprimanded yet, that they couldn’t do anything. This where I need help!!!! What can I do!?! I already tried filling a restraining order against him. He never was served, nor did he show up in court. I can’t keep missing time off of work, and he knows this. I AM STUCK AND HAVE NO WHERE TO GO………PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Warm regards,
Lost in Translation!
Ya know,
Knowing my spath for 25 yrs. And having 2 children from him my lige has been a total hell. Sometimes I felt that he loved me, but most times not. Thinking back on everything the one thing that hueted the most was finding out about the other childten he fatheted but always denied that they existed. Holy crap, talk about wanting revenge. Im doing so much bettet now with No Contact. What a big difference that had made, Iim not stressed anymore. Goodluck to all the wonderfull, strong women out there who I can empathize with, who realized their mate eas a sociopath. Amdu know something we will find our Mr.Right, but first wr must tecover and find ourselves!!! Peace to all.
Wow how did you cope for 25 years? No wonder your stress levels are so high!!! You are right, time spent on yourself, on recovery and healing, is really time well spent 🙂
I loved him, still do I suppose, but I ame to my senses. I love me more. Thete wad so much stuff I found out about later on in the yrs. I never felt so betrayed in all my life. Live and learn. Hes in jail amd hes feeling out of control, I do not accept his calls. Ive started no ontact. It feels good actually. Just take one day at a time, thats all I cam do.
Each one day, will become a week, then a month, then a year. But you are only coping one day at a time. That is really all that you have to do.
After 9 years with a man who truly is a sociopath- something my Mom figured out long ago- I want to say THANK YOU. I finally understand and can stop blaming myself or let myself be blamed for his lying, cheating, blaming, deflecting, and unreasonable, unexplainable rage fests. I left him 2 months ago- @ the urge of his 15 year old daughter and 16 year old son, who told me after 2 solid days of him dropping the mask and raging at me, they were going to live full time with their mom and they REFUSED to leave me behind. These awesome kids TOLD me that I would be blamed- that their father blames everyone BUT himself, and his daughter said through tears,”If you stay, it will only get worse for you.”
We all fled together. And they were right.
He blames me.
He accuses me of everything he does, but with you all sharing your knowledge and experiences, I finally understand and can move forward. His k7ds will not speak to him anymore. They gave him one chance to talk honestly, and own his shit. Instead, he did just as they predicted and tried to blame everything on me. What made them decide to leave besides his abuse was that they knew he was cheating. His own son brought evidence to ME and I confronted, his dad did what they all do. Called me horrific names in front of them and lied.