This post is for people who believe in things spiritual, or who live their life in a spiritual way. I know that those who are spiritual, often have the toughest of lives (why you are all so smart and compassionate). I do not want to offend anybody. So if you are not spiritual, or think this wouldn’t help you please skip this post.
How to cut the chords of attachment
Writing this blog is liberating, as I can just be me. Something I could never do in my employed work. I debated whether to put this here, as I know it could appear not right to atheists, and offensive to some religions. I don’t have a religion, but my life path is spiritual. I have worked all of my life with homeless people. Trained as a counsellor, and in 27 years there isn’t much I haven’t heard or worked with.
I had a number of relationships when the relationship ended, and I established no contact. This was difficult to do, as I couldn’t get the person out of my energy field. I tried, but they were in my thoughts, in my dreams. It felt like I couldn’t escape. There is a way to break the tie that connects you. To break the sociopath constantly interrupting your energy field, you struggle to move forward. The pain is overwhelming and you cant stop thinking about them. They come to you in dreams, and just trying to get on with your day is difficult, as they bombard your everyday thoughts. The feelings can be so intense that they might as well be in the room with you. Do you understand this feeling?
Cut the ties that bind you
To remove someone from your energy field. You ask Archangel Michael to cut the chords that bind you. its not voodoo or magic. It is asking for assistance to break the chords that bind you, blocking your energy field. Psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists, can be energy vampires, and you might find that trying to get rid of them out of your life is impossible, as they still attach to your energy by constantly thinking about you, focusing on you.You cannot get them out of your mind. The more that you are determined to get on with your life, the stronger they are in your thoughts. Does this sound familiar?
There are videos to help you with this. If you are interested in this use whichever video you feel drawn to. I haven’t chosen one, as we are all different. Therefore what I might be drawn to, you might not be.
Also remember that your body has what is called ‘chakra’s’ you can allow energy into your body to heal you.
If you need to purify from toxins of the toxic relationship
Visualise white light coming down through the top of your head, all over your body. Visualise it, feel it washing away the toxic within you.
If you have been mentally/emotionally damaged
Visualise green light the same way as above. Green is healing
To protect yourself
Imagine a ball of light energy all around you.
- When you visualise pink, only love will be able to connect with the inner you
- When you visualise black, you block out everything (energy wise)
I do not know how this post will be received on this blog. So, go easy on me!! Somebody asked me about it, so I thought I would write a post about it. If it doesn’t apply to you, please ignore.; But i am sure that there will be a few people who can understand it, and perhaps would benefit from the knowledge.
On the other hand, if you are interested in this kind of thing, and would like more – well I could supply that too ( in relation to healing and recovery after sociopath break up)!! 🙂
Dating a Sociopath 
I totally understand this. I’m an empath and healer, which makes me all too aware of when past relationship people and “vampires” are obsessing about me in their minds. Worse for the ones who are also somewhat psychic. Once I’d remove someone (there have been a few) from my life I’d clean them out completely, physically, emotionally, energetically…but I had to do regular housekeeping because they kept sending their energy as thoughts, obsessions, occasion email/texts, and even in dreams.
I would visualize cutting bungie cords so their energy would spring back, but still I had to do this regularly. It wasn’t until I moved far away that I no longer have to clear out their energy attacks. Though I can still sense when one of them is thinking obsessively about me, they send their energy to the wrong place. The constant healing of my energy was exhausting. Such a relief now!
Thank you for bringing this up. We can heal and cleanse our lives, but others can still psychically/energetically attack us.
Thanks Julianne,
I think one way to counteract negativity is to send love out to it. I am also an empath, psychic and a healer. The last one i stayed in friendship with him for nearly a year. I think he has moved on now. Which is nice. I found the way to combat the energy field is to send out love to combat the negativity. I have always found that asking archangel Michael to cut the chords, does have the desired effect. Psychos, Narcs, and sociopaths do have a tendency to not want to let go of control. Trying to do no contact is made impossible as they might as well be stood in the room with you 🙂 I haven’t mastered how to control in my dreams though…. I would like to know that, as I can wake and have just had a vivid dream…. which is hard to shake off, and then have to go through the ritual again. Thank you! 🙂
Oh dear, it does NOT work like this – if you send love, it just gets converted into hate automatically. Just send no energy whatsoever.
This isn’t true at all. What makes you think this? I split with my sociopath for good in January. We had travelled a journey together, and from him this site was born, that helped a lot of people. He wasn’t going to change who he is it isn’t personal. It’s just the way that he is, and the way that his brain works. We managed to finally say goodbye and have now moved onto someone new (him first of course), he did do a few socio drama’s….. then I said to him, ‘why be so hateful, as really you will just stack up further karma for yourself, undoing all the good you did this time’…. I wished him well, wished him happiness, and thanked him for the lessons that he taught me. He sent me the same back. Life, it can be easier than we perceive it to be sometimes.
This has helped me to realise that what is suspected of the neighbours who live in the flats directly above me. It’s really hard to keep my energy up as they both have made it their mission to focus on me without fail every day on the hour every hour as if they know what they are doing. Im an empath and have clairvoyant abilities and I can read energy so I see beyond what others don’t see. When they go out they have a team of people that they use to stay in the flat silent to listen to me, watch me and try to bring me down in my energy field. i was stalked by her son a few years ago and you could see that he felt silly and guilty because he can see really that I’m not doing anything wrong it’s his mother and father that are very evil and jealous of my light and beauty. The woman even gets her little grandchildren to hide in cupboards in the flats for days to listen to me so that she knows my every move. I don’t talk to people on the phone in my place I always go out because I know they are listening. She should be ashamed of herself as the children are now being taught how to grow up abnormal. When I moved here over three years ago she said to me “things can get really nasty here” and from that day she and he have even put spirits in my place to try and frighten me off. When I laugh, sing they get very very angry and go out so they don’t have to see me. They make it their duty now they see that they can’t destroy or control me not to look at me. When I dress good and wear new clothes they both get angry then they go out and buy new clothes. She copies everything I do. If I put on my washing machine three times she will do the same or instruct her slaves to do it. I honestly don’t know how she has managed to enslave these people to do her dirty work. She never goes out alone. To do basic task she can only appear confident in doing them when she’s got lots of people hiding out and listening. She has no friends so all the people I see come to her flat are weak looking family members. She lies a lot and says things are hers and they are not. But, it’s funny, she said things can get nasty here well it certainly did for her as she got cancer. But the worse thing is is that the cancer has made her more determined to send bad spirits to me. I know the only way is to move to a new place so I’m praying for that day but in the meantime I’m proud that I did not get scared and run but it has been very dark living here. Can someone let me know what types of people I’m dealing with as I know that there is mental problems there but this is a very severe case of jealousy. Namaste
While this is a bit off topic, I want to Thank you for reaching out “gifted”.
I wish to commend you on being strong enough to stand in this situation for as long as you have. You have a good nature & a strong character.
Sounds like there are a few things going on in your situation. What is the history of your building? What about the flats around you?
Sometimes the ‘energy imprint’ of a previous tenant can linger in the buildings. When sensitives or empaths, even those who are not aware they are sensitive, pick up on that energy it can magnify. Perhaps this woman is more similar than different.
Maybe she is a sensitive too but is not aware of this trait & has picked up on the previous energy, magnifying it, rather than having the knowledge or discernment to sort it out & stand up against it as you have. Maybe she is looking to find out what your ‘secret’ is to standing up to this, so she copies, follows, challenges & listens to you. Perhaps you are the ‘example’ for her to see how to grow.
They say that dark cannot live in light. When you shine your light, by singing, loving yourself & being unafraid, the darker energy will fight harder to exist. In practical experience we have seen this happen when we try to change a bad habit. It is harder in the beginning, to make us stronger to hold on to a different choice.
The strongest power we are given & carry with us is Love. We have witnessed miracles occur through Love. It is the unspoken Grace of the universe.
You might begin by honoring yourself & your Loving nature, that you have come this far. Gratitude offered in Love is very powerful & can turn things around. When we practice Gratitude & Forgiveness for ourselves & others we open to the Grace of the universe.
Perhaps this will open the doors for another place to live, Perhaps once you change the way you manage this situation or see it differently, things will change. I invite you to practice Love, Forgiveness & Gratitude, then watch the changes occur around you. Many Blessings to you Gifted, hope this helps…
I couldnt find where to post a link. I was very good friends with a neighbor 4 years. Had problems but did not know where it was from until I learned all the details of a sociopath
I broke free, but I still live in the apartment building. All contact as ended. I made up a good story. However, whatever it is sends horrible dangerous energy. Maybe its not a sociopath.
I know all about archangels and Michael. I do the cord cutting eveyday and mediation. I do the white light and all those things too. I’ve asked God.
The attacks are so severe it literally kills me. I was affected yesterday for hours. Its too excruciating to bear.
There has to be another answer. What I decided ( because I cant bear it), I send it back to the person sending it with emotional pain.
This is a dangerous energy not to be played with. And i quote Matthew 10:1, Luke 9:1 and speck to the atack. Maybe I’m crazy.
Thank you
Send back love. Pray for them to be removed from you. What do you mean about your experiences? Can you explain further?
This was all so helpfull! I recently broke contacts with a spiritual person I’d been friends with for 6 years! I didnt Know ANYTHING about aura’s or spiritual life.. and yesterday night I felt a so described “attack” I started to feel weird and my head started hurting.. also it felt as if something “entered” me from the heart.. and then it went straight down.. I had no clue on what to do.. I tried to block it with my inexperienced self.. it helped a bit. Visualising the pink light was SO LIBERATING!! within 5 seconds I started to feel better 🙂 still dont feel fully better because I have the feeling that what “got into me” is still there.. in the heart.. and I also felt it entering my neck.. any other tips? I also visualised the bungee chord cutting/ elastic cutting so that the energy would go back
THANK YOU SOO MUCH! You dont know how much this helped me!
Your welcome personal.
For the future if this helps… visualisation can really help.
Pink will only allow LOVE in
White is cleansing
Green is HEALING
Black is total protection and will not allow any energy towards you. Its black out.
Pleased its helped.
Anyone’s body can be hacked via satellite and it’s becoming more common and extremely easy to do. In addition to spiritual force attacks, psychopaths who hack or who work for certain government agencies have free access to destroy anyone they want to. This included children, pets etc.
Every living creature has unique brain waves that are like a fingerprint and AI (artificial intelligence) via satellite tracks EVERYTHING. We ARE being stalked and attacked and some people who call themselves targeted individuals (TI’s) have websites that deal with it.
If you haven’t yet been targeted (“activated,” as we are all targeted) and want to keep your brain from being an antenna, use this protocol http://lookoutfacharlie.blogspot.com/2017/01/2017-end-of-electronic-harassment.html?m=1
If you want the hard core truth about what is actually happening in the word today check out this website http://www.stopthecrime.net/
We are in a completely new paradigm and if we aren’t given all the facts we can’t come to a place where we can realistically deal with it. The bible fully warns us about how horrific this time is but most churches are run by psychopaths as there are FAR more psychopaths alive than we are told by the unsubstantiated statistics.
We desperately need each other…those of us with a conscience . We DO NOT send love back to this evil. Satan and his children (the psychopaths, as Jesus tells us in John 8:44-45) as they use our love to destroy us. The comment above that advises this is in error. The bible tells us to have NOTHING to do with such people after giving a perfect description of a p (2 Tim. 3:1-5) and Paul tells us to hand them over to Satan himself.
Thank you!
Its such a relief to see all of this information about what to do. I am energy sensitive and all of that and I am trying to break free from the energetic chords from a psychopath. Thank you for sharing! It is so overwhelming to constant being bombarded by all of this in my energy field. Things is so much easier when moving fas away but sometimes you don’t have that option. I can so relate to this. I wish there was a forum for other empaths out there. Anyone know a safe place for energy sensitive people? Thankful for any tip I can get. Have a great day!
I used this practice to help me soon after leaving my ex. It helped me but in combination with other mindful practices. There are also people who specialize in guiding you through the process. I found it inspiring and freeing. Now I’m reminded I need to do it again. 🙂
Thanks Paula. I think that I did a good job with my charismatic ex, he is not in my energy field and no need to cut chords either 🙂 yay.
Awesome! My energy field could use a little tending.
I too am very spiritual vs. religious and completely believe in this. I also follow this blogger who writes and counsels about energy. http://dianaharris.co/
Thank you!! I will take a look at the blog 🙂
🙂
I also found this very helpful while coping with something difficult http://dianaharris.co/?p=442
Yes that is what I meant about visualising the green light for healing through your crown chakra. But this is much better explained than I managed. Thank you!! 🙂
When I read your post, you reminded me of this meditation so I quickly went to my RSS feed so I could send you the link. Glad I could be of help. 🙂
I know that to be “politically correct” you did a lot of apologizing. I say don’t apologize at all. People have the option of ignoring what they don’t agree with. Everyone has critics, but what you post could potentially save someone’s life. I appreciate every post from you and every comment that follows. Before finding this blog (YOUR BLOG) I was very confused. The very thing you apologize for could be that one A-Ha moment for someone to realize they need to break free. My spirituality is what is keeping me alive at this point. People don’t have to accept it, but they better respect it. Keep up the excellent work. I’m a fan regardless of what you post! Take care 🙂
Thank you veronica. I did get an email after I posted this post – from someone who said that this was exactly what she had needed to read. Thank you for your support! It means a lot 🙂
I too, was wondering why you found it necessary to apologize about religion. It is sad that our culture has led you to be ashamed of including religious outlooks and practices when this can be such a powerful source of healing.
Exactly! This post (1 year later) gave me the A-Ha moment! I was about to lose my mind!!! Its late now, but I will look up more information on how to get that person trying to “enter me” away from me.. its more than just negative engery someone is sending me. If anyone has any tips on how to stop someone from trying to enter you/fill you up with negative energy are very welcome!
This was EXACTLY what I was looking for and NEEDED today!! THANK YOU!!!
Thank you!!! 🙂
Here’s what I believe about all of this – at least, for me. I’ve dug into my past and found those triggers that the N exploited. In my mind, the universe sent this vampire into my life because I’m thick skulled, and sometimes need to be hit very hard to get the lesson. I see the patterns established in my childhood that made me vulnerable.
What’s the point? This journey is NOT about getting over THEM. It’s about learning to love myself, to let go and to live in the now. It’s about finding the freedom that comes with that so that NO ONE has that kind of power over me again. I like to believe that at some point in this journey, I’ll no longer care…I won’t feel anger, I won’t feel regret, I won’t feel twinges of longing for restoration of the illusion, because I will be standing strong in my own center. All of this, and he, won’t matter one bit.
Won’t that be just lovely?
I think I am there Barbara. You will get there. For me, I believe that I had to meet a compulsive liar to learn to trust myself. You know they say that a lesson is repeated until learned. That happened to me. I do trust myself now. In fact I really only trust me 100%. I don’t trust anyone else. I don’t distrust, but I wont put my life in someone else’s hands, sadly I don’t think I ever will again. I realise to my cost what doing that has done to my life 😦
that’s what I finally figured out too. They were in my life for me to ‘stand up’ & love myself more. I learned to not get ‘hooked’, allow my ‘buttons to be pushed’, to stay neutral, no matter what. To be ‘Present in my own Life’. Now I can thank him & let him go.
I am up for anything which will bring less stress, more peace, joy and happiness into my life! I pray daily, (sometimes hourly, lol) I don’t ask for a lot, mostly patience and guidance, Especially, for clarity to make well informed decisions. Not impulsive ones. I will tell you this, funny (not really, tho) I was just outside asking God, I am so overwhelmed, I don’t know what to do? (Short version) I climbed in to bed to read, and here’s your article?! Lol. Thank you.
Am pleased it Makes sense to you!! 🙂
perfect, perfect, perfect!! 🙂 I love this. Thank you for posting this. And, yes, absolutely, I am interested in more energy-related posts. I was feeling so incredibly drained today. No matter how much I slept, I literally was dragging. It is not a physical tired feeling.
You mentioned something in your blog that I have been toying with. When they think of you, they connect to your energy, right? How do you know if what you are feeling is YOU or THEM. I have always struggled with this concept…of whether I am bringing on the bad vibes by living in them, or if I am really just plugging away at life and when I get spiritually “drained” or “knocked down”, if that is someone putting their energy fangs into me.
Also, on the note of dreams…energy connections or suppressions in the subconscious making their way to the surface? You recommended dreammoods.com a while ago, and I have been using that site for quite some time as well. I guess I am more or less just curious as to what your thoughts are on that.
I do experience certain people strongly in my awareness and have a hard time pin-pointing whether that is me manifesting them in my own energy, or them linking into mine….Thoughts?
Sorry GL have been so busy the last week, I missed your comments here! 😦 sorry.
How are things going for you now? I am presuming from what you wrote on the other post that he is still very much in your energy field? I do wonder, from talking to so many victims, how many are very spiritual true empath people, whether they deliberately target those people. Must be something to do with the energy. They seem to thrive off of it like a life force.
It is so funny you say “it seems they thrive off of it”
More than once he has told me its a strange feeling, but he “craves my energy” and that I have a strange energetic glow about me. And, although half of that could be horse shit and flattery, my energy felt physically depleted after spending time with him (not even just emotional energy), so it cant be unlikely that he feels the residual effect of my vibration. I mean, I dont hate myself, Im a generally good person, I love life, I am a positive person and live my life from a place of contribution. Might as well have a sign on my back that says “Take from me!! I am willing to give!!”. Bring on the Soc and his “new found spiritual quest and love for yoga” and how it seems to have disappeared with our relationship. Hm. Jokes on him I guess.
I actually just went through some energetic healing this past week to open up my solar plexus because it was so incredibly blocked and toxic. I was throwing up every morning, once again, and unable to keep food down. It was unnerving. So, anyway, after I went through that opening, I have done a few more energy cord meditations and I am feeling a lot more clean. A lot more my usual self. A lot of it is releasing the guilt and forgiving myself for not listening to my gut instincts. An attempt to re-introduce myself to myself.
Going through all of this in a spiritual sense this time around (last time, I was not this spiritual years ago), makes it so much….easier, I guess? It isnt that the pain isnt there, it is just that I understand it differently and understand that it will dissipate. Yes, its still crippling and I still spin off into my thoughts of fear. But, knowing how to clear the energy in my space and get back to my center has been a tremendous help.
Something I never thought of before..and I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this as well..But as we are going through this healing process, we are clearing out all the layers of “shit”..if you will. And, without properly “clearing” that energy from our living space (sage, incense, meditation, etc), it still lingers. Its like, I could still feel bitterness, anger, sadness, hanging out with me. It was like I would literally wake up and PAIN would be sleeping in my bed next to me. So, I had to start regularly smudging my place. Maybe its a little “out there”? But I have felt a difference.
I know that time heals all, but I feel like I have been able to really cruise through some of these tough patches quicker than I have before and really get to the next layer of “shit” I need to throw out sooner, instead of wallowing in layer 1 or 2 of “why is he the way he is…why doesn’t he love me anymore…why is he a lying cheater no matter what…why wasn’t I any different…” and have started asking the more important questions for myself of “Why did I think I deserved only that?”, “What attracted me to that scenario”, “what can I do for myself to not attract that in the future and attract the love I find fulfilling and safe”. I dont know. Just thinking out loud, sort of.
I have been doing better, though. Thank you for asking. I have gone through the numbness in the first week. The confusion and bashing in the second week…constantly seeking the validation from others around me that “hes the ass” etc. This last week has been emotional. I am sad and I miss all of the good qualities about him…but I am also at peace? I still don’t feel like I have anything left unsaid. It truly does feel similar to a death. Knowing that I cant go back, and knowing that there is nothing that can be done to change the fate of who he is, and how this ends. But, do I want to watch a car crash over and over again?? Not really. I have days, and moments in my day where I get so sucked into the love we had, the person I was in love with, and I literally have to keep writing out the facts of the matter verse the feelings. Its humbling and doesn’t feel good, but its what I need to do.
It’s been a little over a week since he has tried contacting me, so I think he gets it. I haven’t made a dramatic show of “no contact” because he can be quite dangerous and dramatic…so I chose to fade out into the background. I try to remind myself that I asked for this, and I chose this…
Your post today really spoke to me, about how sometimes even when we end it, we feel like we were broken up with. Its an amazing paradox. Do I even have a right to feel this way? I chose this. I am the one not returning his calls/texts. I am the one that told him to leave and threw all of his shit out. Why dont I feel empowered by this choice? What grounds do I have to stand on to feel hurt, upset, thrown away, rejected by any means? It is a very confusing feeling that I have been wrestling with as of late…
And…to all the empaths and spiritual beings out there, I am looking forward to someone being able to understand this and help make sense of it for me. So, I was just looking at this chart a bit more…the one about the energy cords connecting to us and what they mean…
When I first got involved with the Soc, and when I broke things off with him (a few weeks ago), I have been noticing bouts of strong nausea. Now, I have done the leg work to check all the “physical body” boxes and have ruled out all other possibilities as to why I will almost instantly need to find a sink, trash can, toilet, or lean out of my car and try to hold down a dry heave. It wasn’t until I brought it up to the woman I do spiritual work with that it started making sense.
I have been experiencing blockage in my solar plexus…either over active or under active, due to the stress, anxiety, fear etc. I have also noticed that the solar plexus is attached to “tell me what to do”, or some form of guidance. This whole “randomly throwing up” and “not being able to keep food down” pattern is brand new since he has come back into my life. I literally have never experienced anything like this in the span of my spiritual development…but I just had a thought…
with countless texts that have gone unresponded to, and conversations where I have left him with no answers or anything to bicker with, he has lost his “grip” on me and we are through. Is he attaching to this energy to work through his next move? It makes complete sense in the thought that a Soc has no real feelings or moral compass (which is rarely why I feel it in the heart), and is grasping for his own ideas or answers?
Whatever it is, I can feel it so strongly and it is getting on my nerves! I have to consciously keep food down because if I let my attention wander during or shortly after a meal, its an overwhelming feeling to release it all. Not pleasant.
Bare with me, Positiva, These ideas are pretty “out there” too 🙂
I had a 2 relationships back to back with sociopath/N s…. The first one turned out to be a closeted gay man. I became extremely sick during this relationship. I was throwing up so often and so bad I was in the hospital almost every other week for 8 months. They couldnt diagnose anything or figure out what was wrong. No medications they gave me would work. They kept telling me it was stress and calling it gastritis which is inflamation of the stomach lining. I couldnt keep anything down and lost 20 lbs.. which is really bad since Im usually 108 soaking wet. Im a bubbly, outgoing person and by the time I got I found out what was going on I was a completely drained of all my energy and had nothing. Seriously head fucked and depressed. My intuition led me to an email account that I had no idea he had. I kept having dreams of him with a rageful face flashing black and white like a strobe light. I drempt he was going to kill me. I had a feeling his energy was invading mine. Then he started a huge smear campaign against me on fb. It was cruel and lots of people bought into it. 2 weeks after the break up there was 1 guy who stuck up for me. He was so nice to me. He was the worst mistake I ever made. It took 2 months into that relationship to get physically better from the last. I jumped into a relationship with him and went through the worst 2 and 1/2 years of my life. I lost 4 jobs, 3 places to live, took 2 trips to jail (for him beating me and me fighting back.. once cracking my head open and having to have my ear glued back together than taken to jail.. AND HE WAS ON PROBATION BOTH TIMES), was pushed into 1 abortion and after that he flew me to NYC and proposed to me in Time Square.. only to literally spit right in my face in the exact spot the next day in front of 300 asian tourists. At the end of that week of being trapped (I was totally isolated, had no money because I couldnt keep a job because of him, and being extremely hormonal) we had been kicked out of 5 hotels and he was screaming at me, drunk, that I had killed my baby.. I hung myself in the shower with a hair straightener after trying to jump out the 3rd story window of the building… slit my wrists with an earring and took all his klonopin before that.. and wound up in Bellevue the next day when he attacked me and the lady in the room next door saw me desperately trying to get out the door and him pulling me back. Its a wonder Im even alive. He wound up in jail 3 days later when I got out of the hospital because he attacked me again and threatened to kill my mother and I. People could hear him screaming and the cops came once again. They took me to pawn my engagement ring and bought me a cup of coffee. I felt better and flew home the next day. Then came the Im Sorrys and all the I Love Yous and I bought right into it. Even after all that. He wound up stealing everything I owned (which wasnt much but it was all I had) and yes, I even went back after that and let him try to buy me new stuff. Then a night came when we were out with a friend of mine and he went crazy again.. He AND my friend wound up in jail that night and my head was beaten so badly I couldnt lay it on a pillow in any way for 24 hours. Not because of me but because of my friend I was just done. I put a restraining order on him and pressed charges. Plus I left the state. That was almost a year ago. I was so completley broken and I didnt even know it. I just ran away from it. When I came back for court no one would listen to me. He launched an insane smear campaign along with the ex from my last relationship. It was so bad that they made a fake wanted poster with my picture and the crime stoppers number and circulated that on fb and it actually wound up plastered all over the new town I was living in through one of his friends. It took most of the year for it to stop and I had to switch cities again. I had to move home in June because my mom is sick and within 2 weeks he was back at it again. I love you messages. You didnt answer me, I hate you messages. I love you, I would have given you everything.. then if you dont answer me forget it.. Just the same old insanity. He harassed me so badly even after changing my phone number and him repeatedly getting it somehow that I finely picked up my phone and said WHAT? Just get it all out because Im not doing this again. And he went on and on and displayed all his insanity and I was just immune to it. I just said no, Ill never be with you again. I do not love you. I will not let you in my life. I wish you the best but far away from me. And for once I was able to be firm and unattached. He tried every way he could. Every technique but I was just immune. It was crazy to listen to him go through the weird psycho trip. He still texts me sometimes but I never EVER respond. I downloaded a call block app and I just dont look at it. I never knew what was wrong with him. I just found some of this stuff on fb because someone shared a link.. and it has just blown my mind. I thought I was alone. For a while I thought I was crazy. Ive always been spiritual but I didnt realize the affect that this really had on my heart and soul and spirit fully until I came upon this page. I kinda always had an inclination in the back of my head but I didnt know there was a name.. Ive never actually sat down and wrote all this down like this and looked at it. Holy shit. That was alot. Im so grateful for this page right now.
I just wanted to send you a hug as so much of your story reminded me of me and mine. Thank you for sharing your story. You sound like you have been very strong. The same thing happened to me. I met one who was as you describe the first. I had the life sucked out of me – and after him came the mr nice guy to help me. Who believed in me. Who wanted to help….. I had no idea that I was about to go through it all again. Welcome to the site. Smear campaigns are hell…. but we will believe you and understand as we have all been there!
Omg. Hav been thru the same. First a junior narc then straight into the arms of a socio 😦 I will post my entire story shortly. The first one I haven’t written about be coz we just dated for few months And even though his evil effect lasted for 4 yrs. It was frm a distance. The second one sadly has turned my beautiful life upside down. I met him when I was older ready to marry n so I married. 😦 then came the mask dropping lies cheating abuses thrown in with fabulous moments. Anyway im in the process of moving out. Will b filing for a dicorce soon. Hes tryin his best to get me bac but m not falling for his false promises anymore. Will post my story soon god bless all of us innocent victims of these devious people.. 😦
Man we are truly always guided
To what we need to read. My solar plexus after mine was destroyed! I got an intestinal infection he hit it so hard and I constantly ground and shield
As an empath psychic medium. After leaving, I feel SO NAUSEOUS. It makes so much sense to me. Thank you for pointing that out! What I love about the spiritual path is even in this horrible darkness you have and understanding of it all. Thank you!!
Alexandram,
I really relate to your story. I became very sick just recently (the group here knows the story). It started with a migraine that lasted many days, then I lost my voice completely for a couple weeks (just laryngitis with no other symptoms), followed by severely painful kidney stones that landed me in ER twice (over $8k in medical costs), then an upper respiratory infection. I am just now well, though I had to see him to get rid of (release) the kidney stones. Like you, I feel nauseated much of the time. My appetite is nil and I don’t know when/if that will be back. I am happy I have felt like exercising again. I just went through an ordeal with him today so, I anticipate a tough week ahead, as I’m really wanting to break away from this at this point, but the cost of No Contact is always serious illness. If you all pray, say a prayer; I can’t tell family about this.
When it’s over , why do we go over all of it again and again and again in our minds. It’s been a long rough break up for me , I held on for three months believing and waiting for him and it was all horse shit.now I don’t see him for two months and he is with some older woman and I still think about it ALL THE TIME. I even fantasize about what he’s doing or where he even is !!!! Please please help me shake this last bad habit, I need the tools to move on.im dwelling in this!!!
Because they were liars, when you break up with them you go through what is really a bereavement. Like a death. Have a look in the section above – healing and recovery. There is a drop down list with articles a lot of articles focusing on healing and recovery.
https://datingasociopath.com/recovery-and-healing-after-dating-a-sociopath/the-five-stages-of-grief/
https://datingasociopath.com/recovery-and-healing-after-dating-a-sociopath/the-five-stages-of-grief/grieving-the-person-you-thought-they-were/
https://datingasociopath.com/2013/05/29/how-to-reclaim-the-person-in-the-mirror-after-the-sociopath-relationship/
There are lots more, read the articles as they are focused on healing and recovery. Hopefully you can be part of our forum when it opens 🙂
This is HUGE help. I’m in ALOT of trouble with my ex. The smear campaign is killing me. Have not contacted at all. He threatens me everyday via my work email which is going to be blocked. I’m truly struggling. Youve taught me so much. Any help or advice or guidance is welcomed. I very much believe in Healing and chakras. St. Michael is the patron Saint if battle….makes sense to ask him for protection.
What an amazing article, I had chills as I read it and all of your comments. It is so wonderful to find others that understand…the energy felt within my relationship with the sociopath was so intense as to be addicting like a drug. This energy persists but I expect it would since it has only been about three weeks at this point and there has been sporadic contact. I have tried envisioning the cutting of the cord to remove his negative energy from my force field but find it finds ways to seep in. Is life conspiring with this man to haunt me forever or will the energy lessen the longer we are apart…i find that he living but 10 miles away is not helping. Must I move an ocean away??? Oh if only I could I may be able to breathe again.
Hi Cathy, thanks for your comments. Cutting the chords that bind you can give you some peace of mind. The constant intrusive thoughts in your head can make no contact difficult, and hamper your attempts to move on. If you are spiritual, it is worth a shot (and cannot really do harm), at worse, it should help you to relax (which can only be a good thing. I don’t know how long you were together? usually the longer you are together, the longer that it takes to heal and recover (even with healthy relationships). 10 miles isn’t too bad though…. mine lived a short bike ride away…. and if I didn’t answer the phone would show up at my home shouting and yelling within 15 mins…. 10 miles, does at least give you some chance to escape! 🙂
I am totally with you on all of this and will get “with it” to get “rid of”..My ex socio. thinks of me everyday and I feel it..in turn he comes to mind all the time to me as well. He won’t let go of me mentally! He says he has never loved anyone like me, and is gong to counseling..only to get validation he has been right to let me know and..in hopes to get me back. He did find out where I live and I expect he will show up. He disregards my wishes..has always. Thank God, I am spiritual..although I forgive and love to which has led me to my demise.
I have found in the last year from talking to victims that a lot of victims of sociopaths are spiritual. There must be something in that. I have met more spiritual people through speaking to victims of sociopaths than at any other time. I didn’t put a specific meditation for you to do, I thought you could choose what one you are drawn to. I have done it when I really wanted someone gone, and it did work. …. I wish you well Judy, let me know how you get on with it.
I am in recovery from a relationship with a sociopath. He told me we were soul-mates and how, as a cancer survivor, he learned so much about life. Strange things started to happen while we were living together. My cell phone was drowned, I would get harrassing text messages from his ex. This went on for years and he said he couldn’t make the ex stop. Turned out he was seeing the ex behind my back. I was diagnosed with cancer last year and he went off on vacation with his ex. The guy was a pathological liar.
I would appreciate any helpful videos and meditations for recovery.
I am so grateful that you put this out there and that I found this. What a life-saver…..Literally!
Tim
ABSOLUTELY *exactly* what I needed to read tonight!!!….I do healing and energy work but have been in such a FOG that I had lost sight of where to turn. I have been so lost that I didn’t even know where to begin……Divine intervenion took me to this spot, there is no doubt. Immediately I have begun your suggestions and feel such relief (LOVE that Archangel Michael! and the power WHITES and PINKS are all around me!)…..What a wonderful place this is and what a beautiful person you are to share your wisdom. I also agree with some of the other ladies – in that there is NO need to apologize; for anyone that is half-way intelligent knows that EVERY view is valid — of course, there are also many ‘injured’ souls here (me being one ;))….so I DO appreciate your empathy on the matter. Thank you for this wonderful article. I plan to read all of the other articles within the next two days. I have researched literally over 500 hours on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the like and this is one of the BEST sites I have found yet. God bless you, LeLe
Thank you lele – I have found in the past that asking archangel Michael to cut the chords did work for me. Also ask his angels to move him on, and ask your angels for assistance. You might find that he suddenly has a new source of supply to focus on!! 🙂
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been thinking a lot about this because of the chords we have from having a child together. I often wonder if we have been together in other lives. My mother is very sensitive and says the first time she saw him in passing, months before I met him, she felt as if she’d been stabbed in the heart. I have been worried about the connections we have. I hadn’t even thought there may be a way to sever the chords. Thank you so much.
I was directed to this link from positiva and looked into breaking the “Soul Tie”. Honestly as I was reading about it, it felt liberating and I was doing so good. I fully intended on doing something, but needed a couple of items I couldn’t find, so I’ve just been putting it off. But in the last week alone, I’ve dreamt about him twice. In my previous dreams, he never spoke to me, but now he is…sigh. The first was a sexual dream and the second (the one last night) was as if we were in the relationship again and he was giving me the BS line he always gave me when he wouldn’t answer texts, “My phone died…blah blah blah”.
I swear just when I thought I was progressing, he creeps back into my subconscious….I hate that more than anything because I really have no control over it. It’s frustrating. So needless to say, I will be going through the ritual ASAP and I really hope I break the tie and he no longer visits me in my dreams….in my memory either but I know that takes more time….sigh…..I’ve never been through anything like this and I hope I never will again!
Hi 🙂
Thank you for creating such a wonderful informative site… I’ve read a fair few pages now… I see you’re a fellow light worker.. especially after reading this post… 🙂 I myself have had life lessons.. some harsh.. but all have served to make me who I now am… I have set up a site.. ” Arthouse Wijn-Ton… ” I would love you to take a look.. maybe we could join forces… ) My gift is to empower others as I’ve empowered myself through creativity… I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.. but maybe some positive creative stuff may help some of the souls you yourself empower here… 🙂
I have an e mail address on my site.. ( just scroll down the writing on the right hand side… ) where you or anyone else who feels to.. can contact me… 🙂
Have a magical day and keep up the wonderful work…:)
Jen. xxx
Thank you Jen, I will have a look at your page!! Creativity is always good for the soul… or at least it is for me 😉
Its good to hear you’re also creative. I can’t say it surprises me… 🙂 I truly believe that creativity in all it’s many forms.. is like a balm to the soul and can help tremendously with healing and recovery… 🙂
I have a few pages on my site.. my creative range covers quite a large spectrum of the arts… There are also a couple of pages where I’ve gone on to explain the processes of some of the work I’ve undertaken for anyone who would like to have a go themselves… 🙂
I still have pages of info to add yet.. ( my long term plan to help others on this front is still in progression.. ) but I’m happy to help anyone who would like advice on any of the media’s mentioned on my site… 🙂
I believe a combination of all life lessons learned.. serve to show your life purpose if you can find the positive in every situation experienced…
I also believe the tools given with painful lessons are understanding.. insight.. empathy.. compassion.. understanding and above all with healing.. empowerment… What a beautiful set of tools to be equipped with… 🙂
In the darker times on my life path.. if someone would have said to me.. I’d have been able to achieve what now exists.. I would never have believed them… It was all within me though.. as it is for everybody in a unique way…
If each soul looks within and asks what they truly want to do.. really want to achieve.. the answer lies within themselves… 🙂
We all have gifts.. unique individual gifts.. I see here in others what I’ve lived myself.. What you have achieved here.. the help you are giving others by sharing your knowledge.. I wish I would have found back then… 🙂
Have a magical day… 🙂
Jen.xxx
My god the second I saw arch angel michael and cutting cords I knew my prayers to him have been answered by this website!! I’ve been having quite the hard time cutting my cord to this sociopath because he is dark. He reattaches no matter how many times I ground shield and protect. Constant energy attacks. He sucked the life out of me and always put down my psychic medium work that he claimed to be so into because it made people see me and liked me. He was disgustingly jealous. He conned me with arch angel Michael actually. Talked to me long enough to hear I do angel therapy and claimed Michael had brought us together. It is truly helping me so much every question I’ve had everything I’ve faced. I run a you tube account for dealing with being empath/psychic and younger and now I truly understand how much sharing knowledge helps. You are my best road to recovery. Every stage of grief is so familiar sadly to say too, the begging god to take me. Especially the whys how could someone do this to me? I just wanna help humanity and he claimed he wanted to do it alongside me for he was so into what I did and took me to meditation retreats ect. But it was all fake. He’d shoot down any knowledge I had taken from 2 years with my reiki master 18 hours a week. This work is my life and he tried to use it against me and tell me I knew nothing and I was fake. I am always grounding and shielding because I’m very very sensitive, and somehow with him I got very sick in my base chakra. Huge intestinal infection and kidney infection. That chakra of confidence took months to hurt but he finally did and I got so sick from it. He tried to rip me away from my path and shot down my YouTube videos but then tried to rise me up by saying they were his idea and how much he supported me. I feel like I’m in the first three stages all at once. You are truly an earth angel and heaven sent to us all. I send you love light and my sincerest gratitude for helping me feel the most peace I’ve felt in days. He consumes every thought and every dream and I know he’s doing it on purpose because he uses manifestation for personal gain and greed and evil and manipulation. He went as far as to wear an arch angel Michael pendant to try and make it like he was more into my work and the Angels than I was. He always tried to make me feel like he knew so much. I at first offered to teach him reiki, I’m a M/T and he was the love of my life So into my life’s work, and he didn’t want it. My intuition told me it was because he refused to let me have an upper hand (in his head) and would roll his eyes at my readings when people thanked me. Most people pointed out he was jealous of me because he’s such a narcissist. When I called him out on being a narcissist it got really ugly and I saw his true self. It was terrifying. I could talk for days. I think the hardest part of it all is the good times and great things he did that try and pull me away from ever believing things were bad. I have literally said, being without him is more miserable than being with him, especially because at this point in time
I can only remember the good sweet and thoughtful loving things he did. He constantly said I love you and showed affection and gave compliments, but then one week out of the month would cut off and show none of that. It was so psychologically destroying. I’d cry and beg for him to be him again and what have I done, and then he’d become loving again and I’d be so happy I’d say nothing. I started becoming unaffectjonate
* unaffectionate for a period of time and he became insane and did everything to win back my love and what he did, which is really confusing. Anyway thank you for all of this, I’ve been very fearful I’d never see me again but you’ve given me hope.
Thank you for all your contributions to this subject the articles written have been more helpful then any book ive read, you have really coined it from phrases, questions and thoughts I actually have re: this subject. I reconnected with someone from my past and only realize now that after 3 yrs of paying,raising and compromising this who they were at 17 I didnt have a clue thought they were a sexy badboy to my 30yr later amazement ive
been duped, I will survive……i have to be easy on
myself, stop beating myself up,wondering why,stop thinncezking she got my man cause I fixedhis 5ina
Correction…..stop thinking she got a better man cause I fixed his finances, bought new clothes , strange enough with the no contact he still uses my email and women call my home for him go figure? I have prayed and watched the cutting of the cords and belive that shall happen for me its best and I want a real realationship not a fake one thank you I deserve it
This is a fantastic site and I especially appreciate all the material – Being a very grounded Man with a ver strong y spiritual upbringing I find myself interested the notion that these individuals are somehow drawn to spiritual beings and literally suck or drain the energy from you.
Even after leaving my soc ex fiance, she still continuously attempted to contact and control me and I always felt drained when she did.
Im moving through the healing proces and starting to feel good again, but every so often I can actually feel her thoughts or energy coming into my field and Im again flooded with despair, regret, pain, confusion etc. and feel damaged all over again although she no longer lives with me. Its as if their able to send negative energy or thoughts even when not present.
Im looking into soul ties and spiritual/energy draining aspects to soc interaction but have trouble getting started. If someone could shoot me some links Id appreciate it.
The techniques listed above do really work and are effective especially when repeated regularly.
I believe there is a very spiritual underlying component to this and I would like more info. Personally my guess is these people are really possesed generationally looking to prey on the strongest, most spiritual and compassionate of us.
It takes an incredibly spiritually strong individual to leave a ltr relationship with and soc and I respect myself and everyone here for making it through something so challenging.
Thank you all and thank you for your site.
God Bless
MTN
Thanks MTN and welcome to the site!! 🙂 I did a poll recently and was really surprised that I think it was around 85% of people had very strong spiritual beliefs- many described themselves as lightworkers. i wasn’t sure if this was because people who are were more attracted to my site – or whether this was more generally? I think that when someone has spritual beliefs they belief in the after life – and like to do the right thing etc and this can be manipulated. Who better for those with no conscience to target – than those with connected to their higher consciousness? …. maybe?
Ive been looking into the jezebel spirit as she has every trait listed. I think its an evil spirit that intentionally targets caring and compassionate people. I wish I could help ex soc ex but dont think she accepts her problems and seems unwilling to change. Oh well. Cant put my life on hold for someone else although I do feel God wants me to help but not sure what can be done. Shes already in therapy and would never go to church or accept the fact that she has an evil spirit. Weird.
So one thing I wanna say because, I am a psychic medium and heavy heavy empath. There are literally no days I feel like myself unless I’m home by myself and even then I feel my reiki students energy and everyone close to me. I’m 25 and been empathic psychic medium my entire life obviously but after severe anxiety depression blah blah I asked universe for help and a week layer found my reiki teacher and never looked back. I was 21 then. I’ve since learned A LOT and I’m pretty booked up with readings via word of mouth blah blah. Anyway. When I got with my sociopath I literally could not do readings around him, when a normal day for me is speaking to Atleast one spirit in public. I was terrified its the one thing I have in this life that makes me feel like I belong here and have a purpose. I finally was able to do a reading around him 5 months later, thankfully the angels stepped in and brought me in the path of another reiki master and her grandma came through. I had no fear because she was a reiki and then my confidence came back and I had noticed he hated it. My sociopath is a bigger tattooer and preaches positivity and pma to the world yet does NOT follow it. I had started to notice and he became sickly sickly jealous of what I did. But since sociopaths mimic others emotions and feelings and need control he somehow knew how to manifest things and I swear on everything he works with the dark. Anyway, I think he manifested fear onto me so I could not do readings. He tried to take away everything I’ve worked to become! I was a trophy wife because to my Internet following I speak words of confidence and have a you tube channel where i do the same, it made him look like what he was falsely preaching was true. He would degrade me though and wait till I did something “human” like not care for someone’s energy and degrade me about it and say I’m a liar of what I say. What I’ve come to understand is this sociopath in which whom I was engaged tried to destroy the goodness I do for the world. He tried to take that away from me as a healer and reader. So a lot of what I feel because I am insanely spiritual and connected to high realms and understanding is in this shift of 2012 where we’re in spiritual warfare, do you think sociopaths are the darks puppets to take spiritual good people down? Because boy did he try!!!!
After the past month of him begging for me back and doing everything he could to the girl he was cheating on me with emailed me. She said she had been having dreams of me and I was haunting her, ill give the universe a huge thank you for that because it’s exactly what I needed to hear so I was guilt free. He would manipulate me to believe everything was my fault and hell “forgive me” for all I’ve done. He would hide my stuff when I was at work and sleep with her when he was at “AA” meetings. I did something very brave, I follow intuitive guidance. Always. His biggest fear is being found out and powerless. I came to understand him and I were literally a battle of the light and dark. The dark tried, man did it try but I conquered the devil in the angel suit. I exposed him. I knew I had to. He lies to too many people and destroys too many women and any man with “power” to this degree of sociopath cannot hurt people anymore. I’ve made it my mission, I can’t let him hurt people anymore and lie and deceive. I exposed him on the Internet of who he really is as since I have a giant following the world has seen and he’s lost all power. His ex backed me up and posted the same. I’ve let my followers now be on this journey of what I’m going through because I’m an open book. It gave 5 of his ex’s so much peace that I dared take on and expose him. They feel free. He is powerless now. After a 200 comment post on instagram, he called me and said what is this I’m hearing, I cut him off and yelled for the first time ever and I was me again I had my power back and energy that he fed off of, the words flowed ” I was your karma, your own game just caught up to you and this is where you fall. You’re done. Game over, the universe sent me to stop you just as you tried taking away who I was” he tried saying it was my fault he cheated 2 days before we got engaged and every other time, but I just said “stop you sociopathic fuck it’s over you can’t hurt me anymore, you’re done” and hung up. He has not contacted me since and the word has now spread of the true monster he is. The light will always win over the dark and now I understand WHY I had to go through this. I took him down. He will not hurt any woman again that has any type of social media. I explained his every move and word and how he operates. He’s destroyed too many women. I know my part now in falling in love with the devil. I am now the voice for the voiceless, the hundreds of eyes he’s put the light out in. No more. If anyone wants to check it out ever my instagram is alxmrch
Anyway also what I wanted to say was, I feel empathic people are very drawn to sociopaths because you feel so much like yourself. You feel NO ENERGY because there’s no emotion. So in your head it feels right and peaceful, but in all actuality you’re just experiencing 0 emotion or energy. Probably a good way for empathic Atleast women to stop themselves from involvement with them, kind of like a warning sign.
Always know the bigger the battle you have with a sociopath means you were picked for that battle and YOU WILL BE OK AND MAKE IT. Consider yourself so special that someone tried to take you away from you!! That is special, it means you’re doing the right thing in this life and have strong purpose!!
Love&Light
Hey WOW thank you!!
There is much that i want to write in reply to this comment – but alas right now – I can’t right now.
I relate to so much – this comment was just the message that I needed to read today – what a very strange day. Thank you!!
Our guides and angels will never let us be alone in this human experience where we are the lightworkers changing the world and taking our experiences to heal the world 🙂 my angels talked to your Angels and I followed my guidance I can only assume! ❤
Hello there, can you PLEASE, share everything you have about this connection with sociopaths on the spiritual/psychological level, It’s seems like what they describe as spiritual obsession. Please I want to get rid of this I want to be free but it’s just like I am tangled up, all the situations keep ocurring to make me feel afraid and keep having the feeling that I still need the help of this person.
Hi Magali,
It sounds like you might need some help with cutting the chords that bind you. Have you tried reading this post? Go to youtube and there are a lot of visualisations that you can do to cut the chords that bind you.
https://datingasociopath.com/2013/06/05/how-to-get-rid-of-the-sociopath-in-your-energy-field-when-trying-to-establish-no-contact-how-to-cut-the-chords-of-attachment/
Thank you so much for this post. I definitely understand what you are saying about this attachment, it has been 8 years for me and no contact for 3 months. Amen!!!
I broke up with my narcissistic, sociopathic ex almost a year ago. I have been 100% no contact for seven months. I rarely think of him anymore, but sometimes he’ll just pop into my mind. This last week I was watching the live feed of a sporting event that is taking place where he lives (and where I lived with him). I found myself thinking of him and then HE TEXTED ME. ACK! It scared the crap out of me. We have not spoken in seven months. I didn’t think I believed in things like psychic cords or psychic vampires, but now I’m pretty sure I do. I feel totally creeped out.
Yet another interesting and helpful blog post. Thank you!
My ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago, after a brief, but devastating 11 week long whirlwind relationship that quickly covered all aspects of a relationship with the sociopath, from assessing, seducing, gaming and ruining, or idealizing, tearing down and discarding. Looking back, there was a lot of emotional abuse, even early on.
I, too, am an empath, a healer and a spiritual person, so I understand very well the significance of still having him in my energy field.
Interestingly, I had not even considered the physical consequences of my relationship with him, other than the lack of sleep and nutrition for the first couple of weeks after the discard.
This past week I have been doing a lot of work focused on me, on moving forward, on setting goals and making plans. I have been writing a lot about the relationship and what happened. This, I feel, helps me make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. While doing this, I have felt intense bouts of nausea for a few days, I have started to dream about him… and lo and behold, yesterday he inserted himself into my life again by sending me “very sweet” Christmas greetings.
Thinking back now, I wonder if my body was not signalling me all along that something was very wrong in this relationship, as I went through bouts of unexplained bleeding (I have reached menopause, so that was not normal), extreme anxiety (not normal for me either) and irritable bowel that often accompanied the anxiety. And now the nausea, as some others here have experienced as well.
Ok, so here is a confession: during the first few days after the discard, when I was stunned and reeling, I consulted a tarot reader. This was before I had come to the realization that I had been in a relationship with a narcissist/sociopath. Her cards told her that this man would re-appear in my life in 3 to 6 months, that he would become more “loving” towards me again and that at the time he would be experiencing financial troubles.
Knowing what I know now, that idea has me chuckle, and it is part of the reason that I have not gone completely NC. I am just too curious to see if this pans out.
I may need to reconsider my strategy.
Hi Carmen,
Please take my advice and stick to the no contact full stop, you’ll not do yourself any favours by not doing this completely. I did doing what you’re doing, all you’re doing is prolonging your own devastation and allowing them a bigger hook into your aura. Take the lesson, harsh though it is and grow from it, no good will come from you keeping any sort of connection with him, we can’t ” save ” these people and they certainly won’t ” save ” us, they love who they are and thrive on what they do to others.
Even if he fell into financial difficulties, he’ll be latched on to some other poor unwitting soul and it’ll be her that pays the price, not him. Cut your losses and focus on your own healing and loving you.
Keep your mind busy with positive things and if you feel that overwhelming urge, come here to this fab space and read awhile, it’ll help tremendously, you’re certainly not on your own here. 🙂
I saw the fall of mine by the way, it made no difference to my life, I felt nothing only great sadness for the poor woman he pulled down with him, bet she was like us, but she was in the firing line with him. I know he manipulated and controlled her, as he tried to do with me, God help her that’s what I thought at the time. I still wonder what became of her.
You’ll never get no answers either because there isn’t any, it was a lie, took me years to fully realise this, don’t let him do the same to you.
Stay strong, you obviously have many qualities, that’s what drew him in. You’ll get past this dark time and come out he other end stronger and much wiser for the experience.
Big hugs, love and light your way. 🙂
Jen.XXX
Thank you for your thoughts, Jen. I do know you are right, going full NC is the best thing for me. I do know this in my head, my heart at times still longs for that “perfect soulmate” I met for the first couple of weeks of our relationship. I do know now that he doesn’t exist, that the cruel, sarcastic, controlling, angry and volatile character that I saw later is the man he really is.
I did realize that just that small Christmal greeting I got from him threw me back into emotional turmoil, set me back. I do know he will never change, never be the partner I want for myself, I know he is unable to love and have a healthy relationship.
Thank you for your support. I have probably read every single blog post on this site and it has been tremendously helpful and informative.
Hugs and love to you as well,
Carmen
excellent topic positivagirl. very well written. thank you girl.
Thank you sister!! 🙂
I just found this site on day 3 of my intense research about sociopaths. I mean it isn’t as though this type of personality hasn’t been in front of me throughout my life, but it wasn’t until my 26 year old daughter, who still lives with me that the daily insanity of this personality disorder continues to make my life absolutely miserable.
Although I can certainly empathize with yhe sociopathic tendencies, as well as appreciate the fact that they were born this way, I refuse to believe that there is no real cure for this person.
Because my daughter convinced me that this person was the man of her dreams, her soul mate, so on and so on, I allowed him to move in with us. She convinced me that there was no other person that she would rather spend the rest of her life with, and marriage and children were soon to be in their future.
Quite honestly, I would have never believed that one human being was capable of bringing so much misery, drama, and pure insanity in only 2 months time. I feel like I am living in the twilight zone.
Tonight has proven to be tge breaking point to this absolute madness, in that I assisted her in packing up all of his belongings as it is time for him to hit the road, and return our home and sanity to us.
If I can offer any advice to anyone in a similar situation, I strongly encourage you to get out of the relationship as fast as you can. Even if you are just an innocent bystander, because there is absolutely no way at all to “fix” these people. Get out while you still have your sanity. And, last, but not least, make sure to cut off all contact with the dysfunctional sociopath, or you will never be free of their wrath!
Excellent comment! Wisdom! Getting out is best advice 😊
For those of us raised by and with these worthless people, it’s a total mind rape. I didn’t even get a clue till my fourth decade of lfe then it was years of untangling my mind and correctly rewriting my life with truth verses the lies dumped on me by these people and the psychological field that is still WAY behind offering help.
Best of good thoughts to you and your daughter…hopefully no children were created as there’s a major genetic component here. Endless game playing using the courts as another venue to keep the action going. Control, manipulation, power are what these people desire. Like satan, they desire to be worshiped n exalted. “He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God.” 2 Thes 2:4. And they are against everyone although they pretend it is just the victim or victims they are currently attacking that are causing all the problems. They are antichrists but really they are anti humanity.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;” John 10:10. This is ALL they do their entire lives. Note the word ONLY. And empathy is not to be spent in them, as it is meant for those who want help or those who can positively benefit from it. Psychopaths suck us dry but can never be filled or satisfied.
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23. This is why we don’t send love to these people as it opens a channel and we don’t want them to gain access to our well spring…our center.
Thank you!
I just found out for sure yesterday that I was dealing with a sociopath. I am still I the shock and anger phase…I had a brain aneurysm rupture in 2012 and he DID show up at the hospital but now I know that was just for appearances…the things that I found out literally made me more ill…my migraines are worse and I can’t sleep… I just wrote a blog called “It’s not that I am suicidal but…” . I have enough going on in my life to go into surgery knowing who I thought was my soul mate never loved me at all…
positivgirl, I have noticed that you often over apologize about what you post. You have loads of practical tools, wisdom, insight and communicate this all in a very clear, loving concise manner. Stop doubting yourself PLEASE! I know the self-doubt is the residual taint and symptoms of having been with a sociopath. (and for some of us, it is that self-doubt that made us vulnerable in the first place.)
Why should you preface anything spiritual in your blog with an apology? I don’t get it…. well, I actually do, but my question is for all of us to stop deprecating the parts of us that are holy and beautiful: intuition, emotion, compassion/empathy, desire to connect with the transcendent, desire to connect with other, generosity, vulnerability, trust. These aspects of us are not what caused us to be victimized.
Love and hugs.
Hi..I am gping through a very traumatic time. Been married just for 8 months n discovered my hubby was with his exwife the entire courting me phase. This caused me to move out n separate. While at my fanilys home I started researching his personality and realise there is every indication he is a sociopath. Anyways our relationship was a lot of highs n lows. He has verbally n emotionally abused me several times mostly after drinking alcohol. Since dating dats has shown less control over drinks n always promised to change n probably faked it for a few days before he let go again..anyways sibce we r married I guess the mask slipped a whole lot more 😦 I will post my entire story in detail..how he cheated. .triangulated and of course his behaviour to me. The problem is he is again askin for a chance to change, not cheat, not abuse etc. Also i love him a lot and wud love for a miracle to make us ok. I understand if he is a socio itll b impossible for him to change n will probably get worse if I forget after stayim away for a month. so I did some reiki today. found it v healing. Will definitely do more to get clarity about this. My question is can reiki cure or heal a sociopath? ? Wud love any solution other than file for divorce 😦
Hi..I am going through a very traumatic time. Been married just for 8 months n discovered my hubby was sleeping , dating, bitching bout me with his exwife the entire time he was courting me . This caused me to move out n separate. While at my family’s home I started researching his personality and realise there is every indication he is a sociopath. Anyways our relationship was a lot of highs n lows. He has verbally n emotionally abused me several times mostly after drinking alcohol. Since dating days has shown less control over drinks n always promised to change n probably faked it for a few days before he let go again..anyways since we r married I guess the mask slipped a whole lot more 😦 I will post my entire story in detail..how he cheated. .triangulated and of course his behaviour to me. The problem is he is again askin for a chance to change, not cheat, not abuse etc. Also i love him a lot and wud love for a miracle to make us ok. I understand if he is a socio itll b impossible for him to change n will probably get worse if I forgive him after staying away for a month. so I did some reiki today. found it v healing. Will definitely do more to get clarity about this. My question is can reiki cure or heal a sociopath? ? Wud love any solution other than file for divorce 😦
Hi Kripa, no Reiki wouldn’t heal or cure a sociopath as the issue is within the brain. Sociopaths are great at convincing you that their recovery is just around the corner.
Omg. All these sound like my story. I just wish had read all this in 2013 when I first laid eyes on hihim.iave just knwn my husband for a year and a half and married for 8 mths. honestly issues of his anger and temper related to alcohol had already happened before marriage but because he always promised to change and had literally swept me off my feet during our courting phase I kept forgiving n hoping for a change. He has signed promise letters, declarations the works! I used to think he was jus not good with alcohol. So went crazy trying to make alcohol limits for him.. on his request of course. Which he wud never adhere to. He is 7 yrs older than me, financially not too great, a divorcee and a father and has a problematic mother.needless to say he was never my type until he squeezed his way into my life by sayin and doin the right thing. So for the last 8 months its been a total rollercoaster. So many love notes and promises. So many fights mostly related to alcohol. So many verbal abuses n emotional torture. Not to forget hos horrible n mean mom who shouts at anyone n everyone jus for any small reason and who has a definite tantrum once every 3-4 days.so many apologies. I felt sometimes he was deliberately tryin to age me by stressin me. Btw when we met I was a model..quite skinny and now m 10 kgs heavier. He had even joked that one day he wud make me chubby so no guy wud look at me! Well thats wat he did.. anyways I come frm a culture where divorce is a no no unless its really a pathetic situation. So I managed nvowed to make things better. By praising him, supporting him at work, less nagging while he drank etc. Still didn’t seem to work for a long span. Recently I saw something that shattered me. Now in retrospect I feel it was God tryin to save me frm this man. His exwife had a nasty habit of reaching out to him for some work or another since our courtin days. N I cudnt understand why he entertained her since he said he hated her..was a bitch..cheated on him etc. He also was not giving any child support or alimony and had decided not to see his son as the exwife is crazy. So I went thru his emails tryin to discover their complicated history and instead wat I found shocked me to the core. I found a threatening mail frm her to him citing all the times that she had done favors for him. .meaning they had been having an affair continuously while he was dating me and discussing marriage with my family . Also he had very convenienttly told her lots of lies about me and had said he was not happy etc! While of coursr he had been whispering sweet nothings to me. He denied it all n one by one his lies started comin apart. He is so disgusting he even went to her place a week before our wedding to complain about me and mayb to have sex. She is the one who declined as she was tired of being used in the name of love. Yes the same lady that he called psycho n bitch. .he was claimin to love her too and kept hinting they might work out one day..I moved out to my mom and one by one got confessions out of him. I started researching on his personality n he totally fits the bill Of a sociopath. Of course now he is constantly begging me to forgive and wants me to come bac. Its so obvious he is not sorry for wat he has done but for getting caught n leavin that mail around. Of course the hopeful part of me wants to believe he is not a sociopath and will actually change. Although my mind is clearly saying no dont give him a chance. Once I go bac will trap me in pregnancy etc.. which he has tried before btw. Really wanna be sure im making the right decision. Help!
Slight update to this post. After a month of mulling over it..wweighing his cheating, his lying ,his bad behaviour, alcoholism, tantrums control issues, jealousy vs my love for him n the institution of marriage, hope for a better future, sadness at losing my last chance of love, his constant promises to change. .I hav finally told him NO. Took a while to decide coz I wanted no regrets. In this time did loads of online research, spoke to learned people, family n friends, did a reiki seminar n asked for clarity which I hav got. Saw his behaviour frm a clinical view. .he is of course not taking my no for an answer. Professing his love crying begging screaming shouting sendin nasty notes then again romantic messages. .hav seen the 6 yr old in him. Jus coz he is not getting what he wants. .ME n just coz he is scared to b a double divorcee in India. Anyways hav movedout my stuff frm his place n now jus pray for strength n continuous clarity to stick to this devison n not get swayed by his tears n so called love sibce m quite an empath/ slight codependent. Hav also realised this about myself in the last. month. Pls feel free to give me any advice. Thank u!
Hello there! This post couldn’t be written much better! Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
He constantly kept preaching about this. I most certainly will forward this
article to him. Fairly certain he will have a great read.
I appreciate you for sharing!
You have no posts about female sociopaths. They are extremely rare. I had a 3 year relationship with one. The relationship ended 4 years ago… and her desperate vibe is stronger than ever. She continues to infect my soul and energy field. Have you worked with men whose lives have been ruined be female energy vampires?
I have quite a few posts about female sociopaths. One is written from a female sociopath. Put female sociopath in the search box
Hey Vince! They aren’t rare at all they just, as a rule, are able to come off as empathetic. I come from a family of MANY psychopaths and the majority are female. No real criminals, no physical abusers, or thieves or rapists etc., but they destroy everyone.
Alcoholics, cheaters, well educated, smart and funny as hell but with psychopaths come demons and evil. We aren’t allowed to admit this because psychology tells us we’re all the same ( total lies which totally discounts people with a consciences value and spiritual cleanliness and how psychopaths can never be spiritually clean).
The pattern in my family was to marry a good man, be a good wife and mother for a few years then start drinking heavily and whoring…blaming the men they married and dumping the children on them. They picked the good ones who even took in the future children that resulted from the many affairs they enjoyed. They love the dark, dirty low-life dive bars with the filth that goes with it. My sisters are old now and don’t even remember the many people they destroyed. The dozens of children raped, molested, too overwhelmed by thier childhoods to even try. This has been the pattern in our family for generations and the few like me with a conscience are told to pretend they aren’t completely worthless. The religion I was raised in supports this life-style and tells us to forgive them even though they have no repentance….which the BIBLE requires before we are to forgive. Remember, psychopaths don’t feel guilt, shame, fear, remorse, gratefulness, love for others or any regard for other humans as people. Other humans are nothing more than another resource to be used by them.
I hear you and all I can say is that I’m so sorry snd hope you find a beautiful person to love ❤️.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for the blog and no it’s definetly so important you have put it out here.
Like Vince had posted I also have been played with and spat out about 2 years ago and had plutonic, spiritual relationship with a female sociopath. As a married man it was over many months she charmed me and took me away to courses and meditations.
I had only learnt of existence of sociopaths well after she cut all contact with me as I have fallen in love with her, she did this ubrubtly and stated it was my fault.
So happy I can cut cords with her and I don’t wake up in the middle of the night feeling like a deep pain I my chest.
Thank you thank you so much.
Thank you Tanner.
Sociopaths never part ways and wish someone well, they stalk you energetically, invade your energy feild and try to feed off of your life force… Unfortunately most people do not realize this is happening to them on a psychic level. Sociopaths are all vampires and they do not go away when the relationship ends even when they are in a relationship with someone else. They will continue to try to feed off you, until you take your power back, get the Sociopath out of your energy feild and completely block them physically, emotionally, psychically, and energetically
As healers, is there a way to cut the cords with them but also help them heal too? I actually receive very good, loving energy from mine – and grief over losing me – but I know that if I return I get emotionally battered again, and it’s reached the point where I’m afraid it will become physically abusive. There’s a reason we fall for them, right? They crave the healing we have and believe that if they could tap into it they could get better. I know mine does. I have watched him cry and say how much he doesn’t want to be this way, but yet he has no idea how to be healthy with someone. I’m fine with releasing him, and I know it’s necessary. But we are empaths because we care for people and we have the gift of healing. Is there a way to release him and still send healing so that he can get well and have a normal life with the next person? Thanks for any advice you can offer.
P.S. For all the people saying they think it would be easier to cut the cords if there was physical separation – it doesn’t make any difference. Mine is on the other side of the world. I think the need to rely on intuition to understand each other because of the physical separation actually makes it stronger.
There is no time/space in Spirit, so yes location does not separate a Heart cord. Once we have loved we have recognized that persons Heart vibration or resonance. It will forever be a familiar. That Does Not mean we need to stay in alignment or proximity to what is harmful to us.
Consider that when we encounter a sociopath, we are challenged to grow spiritually stronger. We can judge or see it as a Gift & send it on it’s way with a blessing as “positivagirl” has done.
As empaths our hearts go out to those who are suffering. THEN our ego steps in & wants to ‘Fix’ them in a confused way of achieving. Once we start down that path we give our power away.
When we can observe the experience fr=om that part of our self that is not ‘in it’, then we have learned something & have grown. It is my experience (thus far) that the Earth experience is all about Emotions (how we manage them), Experience (what/how we learn/grow) & Choice! Many Blessings to All…
I love this comment! Thank you Heart!! 🙂 x
Thank you! I am very happy to report that I successfully uncorded us yesterday, and I feel very healthy about it. It’s the first time I’ve ever succeeded at it, and possibly I was able to do it this time because I joined this group of supportive, balanced healers who understand it. So maybe the collective energies of you all helped me out. It was not a good process for him. He became very aggressive and volatile towards my compassionate closure, which is what he always does when he feels he’s losing control of me. But the great thing is that I’m now okay with that. When someone else’s pain is energetically inside you, you feel compelled to try to balance it, which was never possible with him because he didn’t want to be balanced. But today, the energy has been exactly like you said. I’m still aware of what’s happening with him, but it’s now outside of me. I feel no desire to draw it in. I am able to simply be mindful of it, observe it, and let it go. I have never had this kind of success with releasing before. I’ve always felt unable to shed someone’s negativity that they projected onto me. So I am very excited about learning this new skill. It’s rare to find so many empaths who share this little understood experience. Thank you, thank you, thank you for starting this community. You are helping us more than you know. I hope everyone on here has as much positive results. Sending you a big hug.
NO.
If they being nice they are lying to you, because they still want something from you. When they have had enough of you, you will discarded unceremoniously like dirt. They have other relationships lined up in the wings and all the weird behavior is betrayal and stabbing you in the back, which is how they make new ‘friends’ by complaining about you to new people and using their phony ‘victim hood’ to bond over.
This is who they are, and how they make new connections – through negativity about you or their family – because they have nothing else to offer new people.
Clear them out and do not even think of helping them – they think there is nothing wrong with them – and they do not respond to therapy even if you can get one into it for brief period (they will not return voluntarily).
YES! …… especially when they amplify the niceness. When this happens you feel them physically close, stuck to you like glue. When this happens they definitely want something.
True words “Isay”, the ‘victim hood’ is the ‘hook’ & also Our emotional ‘trigger’. When we can recognize/release & weed out ‘any aspect’ of our own ‘playing small’, therein lies the Gift of our interaction.
I say ‘Gift’ because (in my experience), I could not see that there was a part of me that was ‘playing small’ or not living up to my potential/my Greater Self, that was so ‘ingrained’ it was ‘veiled’ from me, till I was challenged by this deep aggressive ‘victim’ adversary.
No! I AM no longer a Victim to someone Outside of me but more so I AM no longer a victim in the ‘recesses of my mind’ that was veiled to me, that part of me that had accepted/adapted to an adversarial (small self) world where these ‘reflections’ would show up. That was the Big Gift.
When I had the courage to stand in the face of my adversity & recognize that there was an aspect of me in that reflection, could I Stand in my Greater Self & watch them dissolve or hold no more meaning (hook). Then, I was free of the attachment, for I had learned the lesson they had brought. Hope this helps…