After the hearts and flowers of the Sociopath seduction, the confusion of the gaming period, when your emotions were exploited and manipulated to control you. When the relationship ends, what can follow, is some of the worst emotional abuse that you have ever experienced.
All About Ruining and Smear Campaigns
If you have read this blog from the beginning, you would know that the Sociopath needs to keep control.
She/he sees you as someone that they own. After they have discarded you, they then need to destroy you. We already know that there are some people who are serial killers. Most Sociopaths are not like this. In fact a lot are not even violent. What this type of Sociopath will do is to ruin and damage your emotional state, your life, reputation and damage or destroy everything left that you ‘value’ so that you are left feeling absolutely destroyed (metaphorically killed). Whilst the sociopath will not destroy you and kill you in a literal sense, they kill you in another way.
You should remember in the beginning, when the Sociopath mirrored you, acting just like you, mirroring you to offer you everything that you wanted. Moving on from the Sociopath that played victim, you felt sorry for him/her and they ‘exposed’ their weaknesses and vulnerabilities (which were mostly manipulative lies), you felt safe to expose your own weaknesses.
It is now those very weaknesses that the Sociopath uses to control you. He/she will threaten to expose you and will lie about you, using a thread of truth to make the lies that they tell sound believable.
The Sociopath has no conscience. So does not feel bad about terrorising your life. He does not feel remorse, guilt or shame. The sociopath will continue to make your life hell, until in his/her mind you are literally ‘dead’.
Stop Playing the Game
Unless you are an incredibly strong person, with no care at all for the consequences (I was), there is one thing that you need to do more than anything.
STOP PLAYING THE GAME!!!!
The sociopath is still playing the game when he is carrying out ruining and smear campaigns, and will not stop until you are destroyed. They gain too much pleasure from seeing you destroyed. What really does NOT work (and will make things worse)
- Showing at any time, how upset you are, and how his/her actions are affecting you. The sociopath is looking for emotion. Is looking to control you. Is looking for reaction.
- Do NOT give emotion/reaction anything. By doing so, this motivates the sociopath to destroy those emotions (you are still living), so the game continues
- Do not respond to contact
- Do not write a personal blog about them, and mention them by name
- Do not write how you are feeling over social networks
- Do not engage with the Sociopath in any way at all BLOCK ALL CONTACT
- Do not talk to, or confide in people who are mutual friends. Only confide in people that you trust
- Do not expect other people to understand. Unless they are trained psychologists, they won’t understand
When you respond, in anyway at all, you are feeding the Sociopath further Narcissistic Supply. This is what they want. It makes them feel good.
- Remember that they are the expert liars, and experts at being manipulative and deceptive – NOT YOU!!!
You need to stop playing the game. Each time you respond. Each time to give a reaction, you are playing the game. The sociopath likes two things
- Being in Control
Take away those two things. The Sociopath will get bored eventually. Has he/she not taken enough?
What Can You Do?
- Use the law to control the Sociopath. Each time something happens, call the police
- Keep evidence of EVERYTHING
- Keep calling the police
- Contact a local DV unit in your area, to ensure that you get support (Google or your phone directory for domestic violent services in your area) find someone else who is trained has experience to help you with this – A DV worker offer support and help you to obtain an injunction order. This is harassment, there are legal remedies against harassment
- Find victim support groups, and talk to others who really do understand
- The Sociopath is NOT the person to ask to stop the behaviour (he/she likely won’t)
- ONLY spend time and confide in those people who you trust. Remember that the Sociopath is likely spreading lies about you, saying how ‘crazy and obsessed’ you are. REMOVE yourself from this, even if only temporarily
- Withdraw from ‘mutual friends’ so that the Sociopath is unable to use third party people to continue the abuse (whilst looking like an angel and you looking like the nut job)
- Remember that this will NOT go on forever
- By responding you are giving the Sociopath supply
- Only legal remedies will stop the Sociopath – they will not listen to begging, pleading any of this, in fact this can make things worse
- Remove yourself. Stop focusing on the Sociopaths behaviour. Instead focus on you
- Do NOT. I repeat DO NOT respond in anyway. When you respond with tears, begging, pleads to stop. You are simply giving the Sociopath exactly what they want.
Please stop playing the game with the Sociopath. Yes I know that this is affecting YOUR life. It is. If someone was at you with a knife and terrorising you… who do you think would help you more? The Psycho, or the Police and third party services who could offer support?
Stop playing the game with them
- Do not talk to people who have interaction with them
- Do not look at their social networking
- Block their number on your phone, block social networking
Obtain support from people who will genuinely support you. Not those people who ask what is going on, because they love the drama. This will only backfire on you. The Sociopath will later use this against you too.
You might be frightened. The Sociopath might threaten you, that if you report they will do further actions against you. Let them carry on. It can’t get worse, can it?
It is now time to find support for YOU. Remove yourself from the game and let the Sociopath play the game with Law enforcement. Not yourself…. start to free yourself. You cannot change the Sociopath’s behaviour. But you can change YOU!!
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