Tag Archives: feelings. heartache

Dealing with complex feelings and emotions after a mentally abusive relationship – get your feelings out!

 how do i feel

Sometimes it can be difficult to know, how do you feel? I don’t know if this is an appropriate post for this website. I will write it here anyway, in case it does resonate with anybody.

The reason that I say ‘I don’t know if it is appropriate for this website’ is I am unsure if it is to do with the relationships, or the scattered thoughts that can come with PTSD.

There is only one time in my life, that I felt two opposing emotions that were exactly opposite, at the same time. Not alternatively, but at the same time. Before this happened, I didn’t know it was possible. I felt elation, and devastation. At the very same time. This was when my granddaughter was  born 18 months after my daughter died at birth at full term, in the same hospital. I really did feel both emotions, at exactly the same time. Elation and devastation. I didn’t know it was possible to feel  TWO  opposing emotions at the same time. But it is… it has only ever happened once in my lifetime, perhaps it will never happen again.

It just goes to show that the mind, and emotions are complex. We as human beings are complex. When awful things happen to us, our brains can struggle to cope with the diversity of feelings that are going on inside of us.

Mind mapping and brainstorming

Mind mapping and brainstorming can be a really useful tool, when you are feeling

  • Out of control
  • Lost
  • Confused
  • Disorientated

It can be a really useful tool when you have been mentally abused. Especially by a sociopath who has been nice to your face, and behind your back caused mayhem and destruction. Your feelings might be polar opposite. You might still be in love with the illusion that was presented to you,  but feel hatred, despair, at at the betrayal that was done to you.

When I do mind mapping and brain storming, I use a large piece of paper, in the centre draw a circle…… this circle represents the centre of you. The core of you. From this draw branches off that say how you feel.  No matter how random. Link those thoughts together. Put them into groups. Sometimes you will feel opposing thoughts. It doesn’t matter. This is you, for you. It is a useful tool when you are feeling, lost, disorientated, confused, in pain, and struggling to cope with racing feelings, and conflicting emotions.

The benefits of mind mapping and brainstorming

Mind mapping and brain storming can be really useful when you find that your mind is constantly changing how you feel, when you are feeling lots of different things at once. Seeing the contents of your mind, can help you to find some sense of order. Also, it can allow you to regain  a sense of control, and to find some clarity in your mind, and work towards inner peace.

If you have been mentally abused, there are many different senses of self, you might feel lost and not even sure what is the truth, or even how you should think or feel anymore. You might have been made to feel guilty for having your own thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts may have been so manipulated and controlled, that you might struggle to get your thoughts in order.

Having so many different thoughts and feelings running through your head, can cause anguish, and mental turmoil. You can literally mentally torture yourself.

What to  do with mind mapping and brain storming

  • Be honest
  • Don’t be afraid to write exactly how you feel
  • Keep it safe, you need to know that this is something for you, that this is your own safe space, you don’t want anybody to use it against you
  • If you don’t feel safe writing things down, you can do it, and then destroy it afterwards
  • Keep a mind mapping journal. You can see your recovery
  • Just getting your feelings down on paper can make you feel better. It is a release.

If you want to, you can use mind mapping and brain storming to create goals that  you want to achieve. You will probably find that once you start and get going that you find it difficult to stop. I find that I won’t stop until everything that I am feeling is down on paper.

What is the purpose of it?

The purpose is to let out how you are feeling. Getting your feelings onto paper, is a good way to just ‘release’. I am not saying that it is going to make you feel instantly better. But it should certainly help with the racing thoughts in your head. All of the things that are bothering you. All of the anger, hurt, or even things that you feel grateful for in your life. We all have some good in our life, even when it has been burned to the ground. almost always there is something to feel good about… let this be the foundation from which you can build. Write the good, the bad, the happy the sad, the everything. Everything. Empty your mind onto the piece of paper. Emptying your mind should help you to (at least temporarily) feel some sense of clarity and peace within, and help with mental torment.

Everybody on this site, is at different stages of healing and recovery. So this post might not be relevant for everybody. But I am sure that there will be one person that reads this that this will help. I know that it does help me. It usually makes me feel a bit better. It is especially useful if you are feeling angry. It can be easier to do than writing lists. I believe quite strongly, that to release, you need to find some way to let it out. Sometimes – its better out than in – if you don’t have someone to talk to… this can be a useful. If nothing else – it is a good starting point!! 🙂

If you don’t feel like writing it down on paper and are more comfortable typing there are a lot of apps that you can use. A lot can be found here http://mashable.com/2013/09/25/mind-mapping-tools/

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