If you have been involved with the sociopath, you will have, after a while, become used to their ‘patterns’ of behaviour.
A sociopath loves to deceive to achieve whatever their agenda is. Money, housing, sex, or sometimes just from the dupers delight that they get from conning and deceiving someone. This means that sometimes the sociopath becomes so caught up in their lie, that the distinction between truth and fiction becomes very blurred.
When the sociopath is about to be caught in the lie you will witness the following pattern.
1. Will start a row
2. Will be acusationary towards you about some action that you haven’t done
3. Will shift the blame, and focus attention on you, and what you are doing
4. Will be very dramatic
5. Eyes will be wide and staring making you feel ‘on edge’
6. Will make a small confession that is along the lines of truth, to try to fool you, and make you believe that he is being honest with you now (in case you find out about the lie) – for example ‘I am sorry that I didn’t go to work yesterday, I wanted to tell you, as I didn’t want to lie to you’. Will make a false apology – (I am sorry that will not happen again) if he is cheating, he will tell you that she bombarded him. Whilst behind your back, he is telling the other woman that you are the evil one making him unhappy. A confession and an apology, in the initial stages, is a tact by the sociopath which doesn’t show how much they love you, but instead, allows him further time to use you some more.
7.He would make the apologies and promise not to do it again, but the actions will not appear to be a person who is ‘sorry’. In fact, the sociopath will now be relentless in pursuing you, for something that you have not done, threading an element of truth in with a false accusation, so that your energy is now spent defending yourself.
8. The sociopath will now bombard you with information. You might want to escape, feel uncomfortable, but the sociopath does not care, and will continue to invade your personal space, moving close to you, not giving you breathing space. It will feel like you are being ’emotionally suffocated’ that is because you are!
8. The sociopath will then go one further, and try to elicit pity, and will play victim, and will tell you a story designed to make you feel sorry for him. For you to sympathise with him, and that he is the poor hard done by one.
9. By now you are angry that you have been lied to again, so you react with anger to the lie
10. To detract from this, the sociopath will then attack you for not caring about them, or their problem that they are playing victim about. Of course you do not want to hear their story. It is likely that the story that they are feeding you, is made up and false, they are simply saying this to you, to distract you from the real truth and what they have been dishonestly doing.
11. A sociopath usually knows when he is about to be caught out.
12. If you continue to push for truth in the lies, he will then accuse you of being horrible, thoughtless, uncaring (because you don’t care about his poor victim problem). He will choose a sensitive subject – so you will, when his words are repeated back to you (something like his child is sick, or grandmother is dying) , feel bad, and doubt your own mind.
Get out of the relationship!
This is just one example of ‘crazy making’ behaviour by the sociopath. You will experience this over and over again. What you see, during this time is the man behind the mask. The angry controlling man. You might be stunned when you first witness it. Mr perfect is now vanishing before your very eyes. You want back the kind caring man that you are in love with – and this is the hook which gives the sociopath the opportunity to do this to you again and again.
Not wanting to believe it, and being so hurt, you might feel relieved when he says ‘sorry’ he will tell you that nobody loves you like he does, or that nobody has a connection with you like he does. This might actually be true, because nobody else is faking a connection of love, like he is.
If what you are reading sounds familiar, and you are about to return, stop…, this is a trick. The sociopath loves to play games. He plays games both with your mind, and your life. He has no respect for you or your life, and will take and take and continue to drain you. I recall feeling like I had a financial tap, and he kept taking and giving nothing in return. The sociopath will continue to do this to you, for as long as you allow it to happen.
If you feel like you are going crazy after a relationship with a sociopath, if you feel empty, drained and numb, this is because the sociopath has emptied you, has lived off of you. At the point where you realise the truth, and start to leave, the sociopath will then change tact, and tell you:
- Everyone else in your past has done this to you
- Will make threats to expose you (for anything) he doesn’t care about your welfare
- Will often bombard you, not allowing you time to think and trying to wear you down
- Will shift the blame onto you
You need to see that what is happening is not you. Wake up and see the truth. You are not the crazy one. Whilst you are being systematically driven crazy by the sociopath, the sociopath will switch from sociopathic meltdown – to normality and telling you how crazy you are, and trying to convince you – how much:
They love you more than anyone has ever loved you, the greatest connection you have ever felt!
Get out of the relationship, and stay out of the relationship. Read my articles on NO contact – and how to recover from dating a sociopath. You can get back control of your own life. Your life, your emotions, your mind, and your world would have been hijacked by the sociopath. You need to take back control of you, and of your own life. The relationship that you were being sold was nothing but an illusion.
Words copyright datingasociopath.com