OK, so you might think – ‘realistically what is there to laugh about?’ You might feel duped, conned and pretty angry that this has happened to you. You will feel, betrayed, like you have been stabbed in both the hear and the back at the same time. Laughter is the best and the most enjoyable way to recover from the sociopath relationship.
The sociopath deserves my contempt
This might be so. But you do not deserve this. The truth is that when you laugh you remove the behaviour as part of you. It is true contempt to laugh at their behaviour. It removes the behaviour from you (it doesn’t belong to you). It lifts your energy and your vibrations. I read once that the best way to lift your mood even if you were feeling really low (or grieving even) is to smile. That if you cannot manage a smile, if things are that bad – put a pen or pencil in between your mouth. Sounds silly? It will force you to smile. When you smile it releases something in your brain which does make you feel better. Are you feeling angry? Try it…. if you can’t smile – put a pen in your mouth horizontally – (don’t worry about feeling silly). How does that feel? You should feel an energy lift. You see laughter and smiling will lift YOUR endorphins. It will naturally make you feel better. You can look at the relationship with the sociopath in two ways
- With anger and hatred – that they are all evil monsters and you wish that they would die and rot in hell
- With laughter. To look at the behaviour and laugh at it
When you look at it with laughter it sets you free. The reason that it sets you free is because you remove it as part of you. When you have hatred – you are attached. At some point you have to get over the hatred. You can’t be hating forever. Truthfully when you hate – what you are really doing is hating yourself!!…. don’t you deserve better? When you laugh – you are loving yourself!! 🙂 It IS normal and part of the grieving and healing process to feel anger.
If you are still focusing on anger and hatred more than a year later, you have to look at your recovery plan, and realise that it is not really working. Hatred is negative. Laughter is positive. At this, you might think that I have gone quite mad. You might think ‘but you were not in this relationship, you have not been through what I have, this is easy for you to say‘. No. I haven’t been in your relationship, but if the person was a sociopath – and you read this blog, you should know that I write the truth. Whilst I might not have dated your sociopath, they are all very similar in terms of patterns of behaviour.
What does hatred do – and why am I so opposed to it?
Hatred is a negative energy. It will only serve to make you feel more depressed. Whilst for a short period of time you might have a quick blast of empowerment, you will quickly slump back into depression. So the cycle continues. Hating – really, you are only hating yourself!! It is only you that hurts. Hating someone else and hoping that they will hurt, is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die. its not very realistic. It is a longer road to recovery and a more miserable one too.
What does laughter do – why I am for it!
Laughter is the opposite response. Please do not tell me you cannot laugh. You really can. After my daughter died, I had a friend come to live with me and she made me laugh – a lot! You see when she did, I stopped focusing on grief, instead I found ‘normality’ I found where I wanted to be – rather than where I didn’t want to be. I know that there is no situation in life that you cannot find space for a smile.
The truth about attachment and how it affects you
Hatred can form a negative attachment to someone. Whilst you are hating you are giving your energy away for free. Hatred keeps the relationship with the sociopath ongoing. Don’t you want to be set free? Don’t you want this pain to finish? For it to be over? Don’t you want to be happy? I am sure that you do. Whilst I am not advocating love for your sociopath – I am sure that there were times when there was love. To be in the final stage of acceptance – the final stage of the grieving and healing process – you need to let go with love. You will never do that if you are still hating. it will keep you in the recovery cycle.
Why hating keeps you ‘stuck’ – how anger is part of the 5 stages of grief
Hating keeps you stuck because it keeps you in the cycle of bereavement and grief. You might recall the post where I wrote about the five stages of grief and the healing process. How you will go through these stages and this is normal. (in no particular order)
- Denial and isolation
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
You will note that anger is there in the 5 stages of grief. It is normal to feel this way, after all you have been treated badly and abused. However if you are still feeling angry and feeling hatred towards both your sociopath and all sociopaths on the planet a year later, you will only hamper your own recovery. It stops you from moving onto the final stage – Acceptance.
About Acceptance
To reach acceptance, you understand that what happened was not your fault. You accept that the sociopath has something wrong with their brain. Their wiring doesn’t work the same way. You know that it has happened, but you accept that there is nothing that you can do about it.
Whilst the other stages of grief can come in any particular order. Acceptance is always the final stage. Laughter you will note, unlike anger is not part of the grieving process. Laughter is closer to acceptance. The peace that you feel. The calm.
With any other relationship you wouldn’t be hating the other person forever. If you did it would be slightly odd. It might be the last thing that you want to do, but letting go with laughter and indifference and not hate – will be better for you in the long term. Learning to laugh, will make the grieving process quicker and doesn’t keep you stuck in the grieving process loop. It will set you free.
Don’t give the sociopath satisfaction
The sociopath as you already know, loves to create mayhem and damage to others. They dissect and destroy. It is part of their psychological make up. The sociopath would love to know that you are left bitter and ruined. They think ‘job done’… do not give them the satisfaction.
Just as the sociopath used love and fear to control you….. use appropriate use of laughter and hatred to control you, and work through healing.
If you are still hating more than a year later…. maybe it is time to revise your strategy for recovery? Is it working? Hating will only (in the long term) keep you trapped in cycle of bereavement. Surely you deserve more!! 🙂
I guess this is a long winded way of explaining why this site does not focus on hating the sociopath. How evil they are etc – it’s pointless. Focus on you. You are worth it!
All rights reserved, Copyright datingasociopath.com 2013
Dating a Sociopath 
Great read Positiva!!!
I am new here, Still with the P/N. Laughter is one thing we no longer share together. Not for a long time. Like stated above he want’s me to be all caught up in him and miserable life, he is soooo negative, never one positive thing comes out of his efn mouth. I have realized his ability to get reaction out of me and cause constant drama has isolated me somewhat. Mainly because if i want to go out with friends there’s a huge fight therefore ruining my plans. I now won’t go out because he has gotten angry, probably called me names and upset me, i can’t turn on and off my feelings and fake a happy state of being. He WON again. I am making a promise to myself to get out with friends and family more, there will be hell to pay i’m sure. Also I will attempt to let him see me happy, laughing, again he will do something lord knows what? I sooo miss laughing and enjoying life. I am not the same person I use to be right now or around him anyway. I have to take back myself. I will remind myself his “power” over my emotions is weak and futile. It has no meaning or justification or truth. He’s a scared little boy who I cannot help & will not enable. Shit I feel like I am a mirror of him now because I’m so efn fed up, miserable, negative and selfish, feelings that are not ME. How the ef did this happen? I kept forgiving him is my only answer to that.
thanks for reading
friscomom
Well yes because you kept forgiving him. BUt also remember that they also isolate you leaving you with little support but them. You are manipulated – and they can take up 100% of your time. Then there is the confusion of kindness – where they are so charming and charismatic – you wonder whether it is true and happening. its the ultimate mind trick and the sociopath plays the game well.
Hey frisco. U sound like my twin. I had to ask based on ur screen named r u in Texas?
Aaaah! like a lovely day! By Bill Withers, this is just the lovelier serendipity! I feel like a kid all over again, you just kicked me back to all the good laughing memories and the awesome times I’ve had – barring the spath of course – but those priceless moments cannot be ruined simply put…they were my best times and nothing and no one can ruin that cause it was all lovely at the time…thank you, thank you, thank you for making this a lovely day!!! And may laughter be with you always, just the like force!!!
@ ashleyv700
Hi Ash, Tim is a Soc & will play with you as he likes to pose as a victim 😦
Love & Light
PR xoxo
Hi PR,
Interesting, perhaps my indifference might be like a minnow to turn a tide, we should show them love, it’s the best response, pray this will be a recourse for all and be more of a semblance for solace…we have to show love at all times, but be on our guard too.
when things are at their worst they start to mend.
And hope floats, thanks to you all the love and light today! 🙂
Okay, heres my question how is it that you are able to catch this “Tim” guy? And how do you know he’s a lying Sociopath??????? Just curious. Lol, I find the whole thing slightly amusing.
Hi Luxia Newmar,
These are my sure “tell tale” signs…
1. Lying, once, maybe twice is ok, third time well…
2. Pity, spaths know the power they have when they have you under their spell of playing to their pity. I’ve watched a movie “the bang bang club” how a picture of a girl starving in africa close to death and a vulture waiting patiently showed more of human pity throughout the world and it’s power – if you haven’t seen the movie, watch it, it’s about photo journalism in South Africa.
3. Why are we here?
Hi Lux,
I knew Tim was a Soc because, he had been on before under another name Trccc as well as this one & had the same story etc…he also uses same words & often is not the victim directly etc…he changes & gets nasty very quickly & gets condescending.
He gave it away once before by calling me Darling….a typical Soc, like mine calls everyone Darling.
He then came out & attacked me & called me a Soc so, then I knew he was up to no good once again.
You will find others here but, most will tell you they are Soc’s but, they come to exchange info etc….
I come here to heal, vent, support & learn but, I know others come i.e. Soc’s to gloat (sigh).
Love & light 🙂
PR xoxox
It is pretty funny that he lives in a camper lol
It is pretty funny that he has nothing after leaving it all behind.
It’s pretty funny that he is living in an “outside storage with 3 other people and a family of possums no bathroom or running water”
This is so true! I laugh at all the dumb things my spath would say and do. I find positivity in all the things I don’t have to do anymore.
It’s a long road but if it weren’t for laughter, I know I would have died from heartbreak.
I’m glad everyday that I no longer have to deal with his daily needs & drama. I miss him but then I ask myself what do I miss about him & I laugh when I can’t answer.
I like reading my e-cards to make me laugh 🙂
Here’s a couple;
If your looking for sympathy it’s in the dictionary between “shit” & “syphilis” 🙂
“YOU….Out of the gene pool!”
“Grab a straw because you SUCK!”
& “It’s all shits & giggles until someone giggles & shits…..” 🙂
Bahahaha LOL…..Love PR xoxoxo
Those are really funny …
🙂 I thought so, although now I am being called a Soc????
OMG I was just sharing some of my funny e-cards…oh well obviously not everyone’s sense of humor?
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
I know you don’t like me responding to you but I think they’re hilarious
Glad you liked them JK & I don’t mind you responding as I have grown from my Soc experience & am so much more aware of Soc’s & their behavior so, you don’t bother me anymore 🙂
I am pleased you have a good sense of humor as my Soc was attracted to this part of my personality as well 🙂
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
I’ve missed a lot in my recent hiatus it seems
Hey JK,
Your only as cool as the friends you hang out with….And I’m awesome 🙂
Your Welcome. 🙂
‘Why won’t a vampire attack a narcissist?”
Answer : Professional courtesy….LOL
Love & Light 🙂
PR x
lol! good one 🙂
Hi Ash 🙂
Excuse me, I think you’ve got a little bit of perfect all over your face 🙂
“I have mixed drinks about feelings” LOL
“Your so fabulous, I’m pretty sure you fart glitter”
& to all the Soc’s out there, “I hope you fall down with your hands in your pockets!”
LOLOLOLOUDER 🙂
Love & Light Ash 🙂
PR xoxox
All gin & tonic, whiskey & soda, rum & coke – “we’ll have the bar” rotflmao! I owe you a round!
I will hold you to that Ash 🙂
Oh & when a relationship ends, remain classy.
Never let tequila call the shots!
Did you say Tequila??? Slammer my way….:)
Laugh Out Loud 🙂 Always 🙂
My swimsuit told me to go to the gym today, but my sweatpants were like…”Nah girl your good!”
PR xoxox
you’re contagious! I’m making macaroni cheese! You’ve got the cheese in stitches here too! thanks!
Ash 🙂
I like you a lottle, it’s like a little except a lot 🙂
Enjoy your Mac & Cheese, crazy noodles 🙂
Goodnight it’s 11.40 pm in the land of Oz (Australia) time for me to be zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Love PR x
hilarious……..
My sociopathic ex exposed our daughter to her sexually abusive nephew, and have his dirty filthy rotten way with her he did. I can find NOTHING funny about my ex, she not only has ruined her life, but our innocent daughter’s life as well.
You see PR, you have no idea how permanently destructive a sociopath can be, and fail to care about it she does. PR, I doubt that you have experienced spath abuse at all, because if you did, then attack me in the way you do you would fail to, but you are a spath, and that is why you attack me is it?
No question I have been a bit humiliated by this person and indeed in light of your experience Tim I consider myself lucky. In comparison some of us are relatively unscathed. Perhaps this particular post is not helpful for all of us. I guess it depends on how far in to the ugliness it went. My heart goes out to you and your daughter… I hope you can find other posts as sources of help. Your case has permanent consequences indeed and likely you will never find it laughable.
Thank you “feelingstrupid” for showing me the appropriate empathetic response, as it indeed is the very least I would have paid you as well if in similar same situation.
There is a silver lining, it being that unlike her UGLY mother, my daughter is a BEAUTIFUL caring person, just like her dad. I hate her mother, and enough to joyfully kill her, but I will spare her such favour, because in the not to distant future, she will be living on her lonesome ownsome.
Tim,
That is absolutely terrible about your sociopathic ex and surely nothing funny about it. We can only feel grief about the events that have happened and that we can’t turn back time to prevent it…. we have to find strength in what remains behind and work on our recovery. They are sick people. We have to move away from their evil ways, recover as much as possible and find ourselves sometime in future again in moments of joy and laughter (not about them, just to feel joy and laughter in our new recovered world, where I hope all of us, including you and your daughter, will find ourselves in)
My daughter has just recently turned 16. At the age of 13 she declared to the world via Facebook that she was bi-sexual (she declared to the world that at 13 she was actively sexual, and in two ways, as if her abuse wasn’t enough already for me to try and comprehend). Bi-sexuality is the pits of the three sexuality types, because you don’t whether you are, or whether you aren’t.
I regularly cry for my daughter, she doesn’t, but as times continues to go by I know that depression will be her permanent way of living, as it is currently for me. Sexual abusers simply fail to understand the permanent damage they cause, and not just to the victim, but in my case, the only one that loves her too.
My sociopathic ex knew that her nephew’s father (her biological brother) was a child molesterer, and she had no problem at all in allowing me to expose my daughter to him, what parent in their right mind would do such a horrid thing? A spath perhaps?.
I lived with a spath, thankfully she failed dismally to convert me, however, the damage she did is irreparable, and… UNFORGIVABLE.
Hi Tim,
My commiserations for what you’ve endured and going through. Forgiveness is not for them, it’s for yourself. There is also nothing that heaven and time cannot heal. One of the most difficult things humans grapple with at most is forgiveness.
Love is patient, kind and “just as hate knows loves a cure” give yourself time, reflect and find your inner peace, centre yourself on the best you can offer at this time. I’m keeping you in prayer as a single parent of 2 kids boy and a girl aged 11 and 14 respectively.
@ Caerra
Hi Caerra, Tim is a Sociopath, he’s been here before so, I wouldn’t indulge him.
Love & light 🙂
PR x
Oh for goodness sake Tim the only spath here is you & I will not be drawn into your sick,deluded mind games….don’t bother!
What a joke you are 🙂
Love & Light 🙂
PR
OH FOR CHRIST SAKE! I actually had tears in my eyes while reading Tim’s post. That is sick, sick, sick! Shame on you Tim.
Hey Lux…..yes Tim or whatever name he chooses is often here!
He’s a typical Soc & is probably making some poor souls life a misery & he comes here to see what his Soc buddies do to us…..
The best revenge is to heal, share, support & recognise that even here the Soc is a giant waste of time & space!
Take care, Love & Light,
PR xoxo
Tim is blocked – once again. that is the third (or is it fourth) time now. For some reason he likes this site
Hi Pos 🙂
How are you?
Thanks for blocking Tim again, yes he does seem enthralled by this site…typical Soc loves to see the damage they cause!
I pity whoever has him in their life? They may already be here?
Still, just goes to show they really are Poopy people…..flush, flush, flush 🙂
Thank you doesn’t seem to be enough as you have really created something wonderful here:)
I cannot imagine where my mind would have been without the salvation of your blog 🙂
It is so great to realise others ‘GET IT’ & we are not alone.
Our journey through Soc hell is such an isolating, overwhelming experience but, to find others to journey with makes a huge difference 🙂
I have started gestalt therapy 🙂 & already have had a positive shift internally 🙂
If you ever need a place to stay in Australia….you will always be welcome in my home 🙂
Love & light 🙂
PR xoxoxo
Hey Tim you are a sick mf so, go eat shit and play your games somewhere else.
LOL Marion, you tell him 🙂
Love & Light always 🙂
PR xoxoxo
@ Tim….those are e-cards meant to be funny not personal…if you took it seriously then my apologies but, do not judge on one post nor make accusations!
Love & Light 🙂
PR
If you fail to enjoy my responses, then fail to provoke them instead.
Oh dear. Tr why are you so obsessed with this site? I keep blocking you and you keep coming back – like a turd that won’t flush (sigh)…:(
Aww. Pos. that made me laugh. I needed it today too.
Who makes up a story about his Daughter being molested and the psychological trauma and devastating effects it leaves behind? Especially on a site for healing and recovery for those who seriously need it… WELCOME TO THE MIND OF A SOCIOPATH! This wont be the last time y’all! Lol 😦
I think that for many who have suffered at the hands of an spath, there is nothing funny about the actual situation – and quite frankly, some of it is horrific – but to find joy in even simple things is helpful to start feeling better. (It doesn’t have to be about the situation, if it was horrific)
The cycle of grieving doesn’t happen in those 5 neat stages, at least for me. I’ve cycled through them several times, each time it gets a bit better. Compared to many, my situation wasn’t that bad, so I am almost at a point where I am to completely let go.
I don’t even laugh at my ex’s current situation – that I won’t get into – but I do still find joy in sunshine and puppies, and that was a great starting point for me.
Am recovering from the aftermath of the socio/path w/ laugher,he processed a truly toxic demonic tortured spirit.Comedies,being w/healthy friends,he tried to isolate me from,my faith & knowledge of his mental illness bring me back to the me he cldn’t destroy.Growing stronger every moment 🙂 Keep smiling.I am.
My spath just dialed my phone by accident and I heard him with his buddies and girlfriend telling her I love you haha God is so good, I believe that happened for a reason. I knew it was to good to be true that everything was goin so good. Never trust a spath .. Never. That deceitful son of a bitch, I hope he croaks. He lied about it but I gave him to much information that I heard so he stopped lying for once in his life. Anyway told him not to come back. Its all over now I actually heard it for myself. Peace an love
That was NO accident. I got a text from his phone months ago stating it was his girlfriend and why am I texting. Then he came back and said it was him dicking with me. Then I found out there is another girl. I will never know who really sent the text lol but you were intentionally targeted today… still on his mind. It is almost impossible to accidentally dial from modern mobile phones these days. I love that you are still on his mind hahaha screw him.
He sounds like the same guy..funny they all do. Fuckers. I’m mad today
Mine left a phone he didn’t normally use all the time with his current woman when he started seeing me so she *would* go through his phone texts. She ended up texting me, asking “how” I was (I, of course, thought I was replying to the socio). I replied back I was good and almost said I was “missing him already” as he had just left. I got a follow up phone call from her anyway asking who the h*ll I was to which I replied, “I’m xxxxxx’s girlfriend.” She said that was all she needed to know. I asked who she was and she didn’t want to say but finally revealed, “I’m his wife; so that’s what you’ve gotten yourself into.” He told me later he left the phone on purpose, that it was one thing to know your man was seeing someone, but another to be directly confronted with them. Who does that??
Ah phones – they use this in their trick box of illusions…. mine had two phones. He always had the phones on him and on silent (yet would read through mine) – he would use the phone to have ‘fake calls’ to back up his ‘fake life and lies’….
Hi Pos, Can you remove a link I sent to Caerra under the laughter post re ancestry…it is irrelevant & I hope you can get it off please.
PR xoxo
Hi Jus….It’s called Torture by Triangulation & the post is on the MY Story section of this blog…read it & i think it will help you?
PR xoxo
Hello feelingStupid, Well ur not the only one feeling stupid right about now. I gotta give it to him had me fooled again, but he really screwed up this source of supply and Im so happy he did though something had to give. I had no cobtact for a yr and I know he wanted to get me back, wow it sounds like Im writing about a 6 yr. Old. So happy this site is here it keeps me centered any way Peace an love…
wow a whole year. I know they don’t seem to shop around much. my guy was with this girl two years ago – then back to wifey – then me – then back to wifey (me here and there the whole time) – then still me here and there all summer and me asking him REPEATEDLY to just be honest with me. I mean I could tell there was a switch. I found out last weekend…same girl from two years ago. They only go after people they KNOW love them. They have no interest in loving…just sucking the ego stroking out of us. Whoever woman made him feel like he was the best got him. Their own happiness is their motivator… a real person likes to make a person happy for altruistic reasons. These dudes always are motivated by self. When I heard this young girl is in love with him… i no longer felt any jealousy or hurt. She is a victim, not a lover. I was hurt thinking he was human and in love with her..but her youth and gaganess over him just strokes his ego…and his selfworth sucks…he needs it.
I agree, nothing they do is by accident. But laughing at him being so obvious and pathetic is the best way to handle it.
Helllo feelingstu, I was tbe wifey in this saga. He went back a forth about me and our kid, my wife this and my wife that. Then I hear him tell some other woman he loves her. Im more angry tben anything right now, I changed my number, now hes calling my daughter I grabbed the fone and screamed at him he wasnt getting anything from my house, u believe he had the balls after all that to want his stuff. OMG . . Peace an love
I’m so sorry for my part. All my life I swore I would never be the OW and I was. How could I have been so stupid. I feel so bad for the wifey I can’t tell you. I told him over a year ago how I had never seen him stick up for a woman…even one he’s been with for decades. Even the pretty young one he doesn’t mind throwing under a bus when it suits him ‘my wife is mean to mean’ ..’that other girl is not my girlfriend we aren’t in a committed relationship’ (ummm ..she is!!) I’ve now been labelled a FWB. (Never did we ever use that term). If I’m just a FWB why lie about the other girl? The girl goes to my church and in my drunken rage last week I sent her a msg on fb (hence his rage) now she knows who I am. I can’t even go to church now with my kids. I’m going to move out of town next year. I guess there is a lot of damage 😦 how do I deal with the wife??? I am so sorry for all I’ve done. I am to blame here too.. I know it. But I thought he was suffering and I thought my love was a good thing for him… god I suck!!!
Hi FS,
Read torture by triangulation & don’t blame yourself….he is the one who was unfaithful to his wife,you & the other girl 😦
You are all victims of a player/gamer/narcissistic sociopath & he would have convinced you his marriage was a sham & how he was staying for whatever reason???
My first husband left me after 19 yrs of marriage after years of abuse…he left with a friend & she was also the receptionist in our business. We then lost our business,home,car etc…
he walked out & started flaunting he in our faces within 2 weeks. It was my son’s 6th birthday & nearing Xmas & my daughter was rejected by him for the OW as well….It was a nightmare.
Do I blame the OW….NO….Why….because he did it all, she had no idea of what he was doing,had done or continued to do.
I actually have maintained a relationship with him & her for the sake of my son & daughter.
That was 10 years ago & I then ran smack bang into my Knight in Shining Armour….My Soc!!!
I unknowingly became the OW as someone unknowingly became mine & on it goes.
I do not blame myself as I never went in with the intention of causing another woman/sister harm but, the blame rests with the men….they are disgusting.
You will be okay, it takes a lot of strength to be a woman & you need to remember that you are beautiful, worthy & strong…..you did not do this to you….he did.
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
I know. I cringe now whenever I hear a woman going on and on strongly about how she’d NEVER do that. And I wonder…is she really that strong or has she just not met that one addictive guy yet? I say never say never. It is not a club any of us ever wanted to be in.
Anyway. I unblocked the wifey on my fb. I got scared after I msg’d her and didn’t want to deal with it. But I told him if he could get in and delete that would be good. I don’t know how he handled it with her. If she messages me . What do I tell her? My only goal is to protect me first and her second. I have no interest in protecting him but likely will by default for saving my own face. I may have to contact him to see what she has said and what he told her. help. How do I handle this??
Hi FS,
Do not contact him as he will only lie to you both.
She is not your enemy, he is.
Do not use her as a conduit to him either.
Remember this is the guy that has really hurt you so, do not let him back in or you will continue around the same cycle again.
Love PR xoxo
I want to go to my church with my head up. Thats my only concern. And I want nothing to do with her either. I don’t want everyone in town thinking I’m a homewrecker… and I don’t like confrontation. And I don’t want to hurt her more than she is likely hurt already. So I just don’t know .. I have a mutual friend with the wifey. Maybe I will ask her.. she will def have heard about it.
Hey FS,
You have done nothing wrong except being conned so, hold your head up & just say “I am sorry if I caused you pain it was not my intention”, I did this & that was accepted with great grace & dignity.
If it’s not accepted then that’s okay too….at least you tried & that’s all anyone can do.
I don’t know if you can do that but, I do know that avoiding the situation only hurts you.
So go to your church & put on a brave face….it’s not your fault 🙂
Be Strong after all that’s how you have got this far 🙂
Go with the intention of LOVE in your heart for your God & your beliefs & have faith in yourself….let your God help you heal 🙂
Love & light 🙂
PR xoxo
You are right that’s perfect. I am going to go.. I’m not even that religious (pretty liberal church) I just like going for some reason its so social lol. And its been my effin church since I was a kid. And if she knows it is me maybr she won’t go ! But then… he will be at the Christmas pagaent for his daughter.. but that is four months away. I will be good by then… right? That’s great advice and what’s more its how I feel so it is honest. I am very sorry… for her. Although she is better off. God he has spread a lot of sadness.. why is that not exhausting???
Hey FS, to you & I it would be exhausting but, to a Soc it’s the only way they get any sort of kick.
You are emotionally attached to everything whereas a Soc isn’t.
Remember no empathy,they act with detachment so, it doesn’t affect them!
Although my Soc was always exhausted but, at 58 with all the lifelong gaming it’s a wonder he’s still breathing?
If you can imagine viewing everything with no feeling at all, that’s how they do it….unimaginable for us because we are normal 🙂
I’d rahter be me with all this than empty & spiritless anyday 🙂
You go & smile & be YOU 🙂
Share your light with the world & go with grace 🙂
Love PR xoxo
Hey Helllo feelingstu, I was tbe wifey in this saga. He went back a forth about me and our kid, my wife this and my wife that. Then I hear him tell some other woman he loves her. Im more angry tben anything right now, I changed my number, now hes calling my daughter I grabbed the fone and screamed at him he wasnt getting anything from my house, u believe he had the balls after all that to want his stuff. OMG . . Peace an love
Thank you, I will.
I did read “Torture by Triangulation”. It reminded me of when he got arrested. I just learned about the wife through that happening, so I didn’t go to the jail, thinking I didn’t want to create drama. Plus, I was pretty angry about the discovery, obviously. He asked afterwards why I didn’t come. I asked why he didn’t call for me to come. He gave explanation that he could only call landlines at the time and only knew one number. He told me later that my responses “make this so hard”. I think the meaning behind that is that he also wanted to use that opportunity for the wife to see I was with him. Although I can’t see why he would want to make her leave him first. Then again, with all that happened, I’m sure he had no idea whether he would be seeing more of me since I wasn’t talking to him.
My Soc cheated throughout his 25 year marriage until she eventually broke but, he had others on the go so, many sources etc….
He has never divorced his wife but, asked me to download his divorce online etc…recently & he also asked the OW in my saga to do it also!
My Soc still has control over the Original wife via his adult children so, she will never be free of him 😦
They are really awful,bad,deceitful,hurtful creatures…I cannot even call them human by their actions….really inhuman (A DEVIL IN HUMAN)….sigh
We however are free 🙂
So Be Happy Jus….we are on a new path now….Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
I really hate to admit this PR, but I’m still seeing him. I let him come back around this last week when he was being nice and caring. But I’m not stopping my life for him anymore, I’m also talking to others/considering going out. I know I probably don’t know what I’m doing.
Hey Jus,
Just protect your heart bella as ultimately that is the price.
Be happy….I went round 3 times with my Soc so….I know how hard it is to escape the hold they have 😦
Lobe & light 🙂
PR xxx
I slept very badly the night he was here. I was in physical pain and had to get up to take Motrin to get any rest. And I use that word loosely since I really couldn’t sleep with him also intruding in my dreams.
Not surprised you slept badly knowing what you now know but, betrayal bonds are very binding & until you break those who knows….just don’t waste too much time on him….I lost 10 years 😦
Love PR xoxo
Definitely not by accident mine called my fone too and my voicemail picked up and I heard him with a girl..that lead to 3weeks of him blowing me off…because I was acting crazy?!
I’ve gone on circles many times a never ending roller coaster i have felt sadness I’ve never experienced in my life, anxiety, and on and on.
It wasn’t funny when I found myself in the eye of the storm but now I can find the humor to help me get through the day and I’m glad I can see it now because I don’t want to carry that baggage with me but I’m going to change some of it by making it lighter and that works for me. Thank u for the post!!
I notice that men have a lot harder time letting go of the anger phase and moving forward. Are men pre-programmed to harbor hatred as a defense mechanism dating back to cave man days? Is it that the ego crush is much harder for men to recover from than women? I wonder…
There have been studies that show that whilst a woman will cry and be hurt — a man will be angry. I presume that is a lot to do with how boys are raised differently to girls.
Makes sense.
Hi Pos 🙂
I found this quote & thought I’d share it with you 🙂
‘Most people are good & occasionally do something they know is bad.’
‘Some people are bad & struggle every day to keep it under control.’
‘Others are corrupt to the core & don’t give a damn, as long as they don’t get caught.’
‘But Evil is a completely different creature,
Evil is bad that believes it’s good.’
& another….”Sometimes the healing is in the aching”……:)
PR xoxo
Since they often target strong capable people I think this is why we do move on and even sometimes forget how bad it all really was. This is why I write emails to myself and keep them bout what he has done, when they are pouring on the sweetness like mad later, you need the reminder.
Moving on isn’t about being angry or hurt though, it’s about accepting that nothing could have gone any differently, that this is who and what he/she is, and that it will never change. (Also remembering that they are “stuck” with themselves is a happy thought..meanwhile you get to move on!)
Nicely put, Blue.
Hi Electrikkiss 🙂
I think so judging by Tim’s reaction to my e-card jokes I posted…Oops now he thinks I’m a Soc????
OMG he has judged me on one post…he’s very angry 😦
Oh well, I thought the jokes were funny, just my wacky sense of humor.
At least I have that!
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxox
All you can do is laugh at him!.Ahaha. He sounds like a sociopath to me actually, especially throwing hate at you. I bet he’s someone in our groups ex in here collecting information. Normal people do not publicly protect haters towards strangers.
Thanks Electrikkiss,
I think it’s the same Soc that is often on here TRccc?
He’s very predictable & unfortunately the newer ones on the site don’t realize & he starts playing games etc…he is laughable though (lol).
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
Really? He sounded so wounded. Fuckit I’m not being nice to anyone ANYMORE
Hi FS,
Just be careful as Tim or Trccc has been here often & plays games etc…then attacks & gets his kicks.
He really is quite laughable so, it’s apt he chose this post to attack on!!!
He always lets his mask slip but, stay yourself & don’t let him undermine all the good work you & your honesty are doing 🙂
Love PR xoxo
That’s hilarious!
*project hatred towards straners
*strangers!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!! LOLOL
LOL I do that….then I correct it 🙂
PR x
Fuxk Tim!!!!! Phoenix…..Hes calling you a spath? Ha, he needs his MEDS
Hi B 🙂
Yes Timbo is becoming quite a nuisance on this site but, being a typical spath he is so, predictable & a time waster!
I really feel sorry for whom ever he is gaming out there in the world 😦
Still he will not stop us supporting each other & being here for each other 🙂
Stay Strong & Be Happy B 🙂 it’s the only way to go against the Spath’s!
Love & Light always B 🙂
PR xoxo
I’m 2 days into the NO Contact thing. The mutual girl friend we shared sent me a text asking me to go to a party Saturday. I haven’t heard from her since last March so I found it strange she text randomly. Anyhow, what helps to laugh is some of the rediculous things he has said to me or accused me of.
1 I was a computer genius that was secretly behind a virus on his computer.
2 he forgot how many hard drives he had and claimed I took one but the real questiion was how did I put it back in his apartment
3 hurt his hand claimed he was bleeding to death (how was he able to text me)
4 claimed his ex roomate it a scorpion in his room (rediculous)
5 said he was followed thru ucla campus by undercover agents actually this happened several times
6 he ALWAYS lost whatever he was working on his computer
7 FBI had his phone since it was also infected by a virus, at one point my cell phone was not allowed in his apartment as it was sucking all the information from all computers, cell phone etc. back to my cell phone and then transmitted to God knows where.
8 he was being recruited by the cia
9 he had a scholarship to MIT but he turned them down.
It goes on and on. And so happy I’m turning crazy time into “OH those crazy funny times”” and I smile and it feel good to smile maybe even chuckle at the silliness that went on…
Thank u again for your site !
Well done for your 2 days sociopath free — and thanks for sharing how ridiculous your sociopath was. It never amazes me the crap and bullshit that comes out of their mouths for no other reason…. than they are pretty crazy!
I have been out of the relationship for 8 months now and feel real angry and hatred for him, but hope to get to the laughter stage soon. I hope I do because it is painful to HATE LIKE THIS. i NEVER HAVE HATED ANYONE LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE. Yes I have been angry but got over it soon even in this relationship but now that I know what he was and is I’m real angry and hate him and also, wish him dead.
It’s crazy mine never worked and told everybody he bought my car maxima nissan and that he paid all the bills. I had my car before I ever meet him. You do have to laugh at this now.
Positivagirl sometimes I just wake up to all the things he did to me. Front slaps in the face to throwing me out of my car on the freeway. Will this stuff ever go away because it has been 8 months and I still feel pain inside. Do you think I should try and get help or will I heal with time. Thank and happy belated BD. Love Marion
What a jerk leaving u on the fwy! Time heals…I’m relying on time to help me get through this bit I know it will take a lot of work and re focusing on myself to do it…I know that I would probably be in a better place emotionally and mentally if I had cut him completely put of my life when we broke up over a year ago instead of going in crazy games and circles. I went almost a week w/ out contact and last night about 10 pm he sent 3 messages..I tried to not respond but I did (I’m such an idiot for doing that) he pretty much said I never helped him (I did financially plus ) I was the reason his friend kicked him out of his condo (I wasn’t) he lost a good friend (i wasnt) and he got fired from a law firm (I wasn’t) . He says I havent lost anything my life is exactly as it was when we first met (it isn’t) and he also turned around (again) and tried to say I’m the sociopath and HE was tired of my games (LOL, he tried to make it seenm like I had text him and started the 5 hours of text message mayhemCristel121976@gmail.com)
One of his texts
” u hate this huh? I figured u out..good job phoney u should have never responded…I would have truly felt bad forever”
Mind u this what he first sent me
“I still believe that I can not be saves”
“Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage”
My response
Delete my number and stop wasting my time with ur stupidity u r right where I belong.
ugh I hate myself for texting him.
(Then…He had the nerve to say I was interrupting his music playing on his cell phone, the man is nuts) it’s my fault for responding. I told him I was going to change my number (got obvious reasons, and this time give I WON’T give it to him 3 days later)
his response:
“I know u know I’m right..changing your number is the best way to hide…I love being right”
Games games games and I played his game again. Confusing right, he would have felt bad forever if I hadn’t responded? Uh..did he forget what his original messages said?
Anyhow hopefully u have cut him out of ur life. Stay busy. I painted my kitchen.
I know distance and keeping busy has helped me, last nights madness didn’t drive me back into a hole so I’m doing something right..I took our emotion and feelings for him and It helped (me) i feel good today.
Stay strong!!!
Positiva
Can u please edit my post my corrector added mayhem then my email address oopsy! Lol
Thanks
I got help Marion. There was too much damage done to me to handle it alone.
#2 and #9 are my favorite
Lol…I swear…I wish I had written some of them down my memory is bad sometimes…
Congrats ! I am 19 days NC. You are most vulnerable right now. Stay strong ! Reading the crazy stuff your spate said to you gave me goosebumps. Mine could have been the same guy. They all must be wired the same way. Maybe they are aliens and their mother ship will come for them soon, lol.
Replace the tears with laughter 🙂
Best to you.
Well done to both of you for both 2 and 19 days of NC 🙂 Two days is early days…. so try to go easy on yourself. Take one day at a time.
I got my laughs in recently, my Sociopath is in prison for three years, for armed robbery for robbing a laser hair removal clinic…Just found out yesterday. The mug shot of him was HILARIOUS! He looked like a little boy who dropped his ice cream cone. The motherfucker finally got what he deserved. Now I am going to sleep better at night knowing he is locked away for a while…no more having to be scared to leave my home now.
mine drinks and drives all the time… I’m reporting him. KNOW THAT. I know where he will be and I’m awaiting. I’m sick of watching him get whatever he bloody wants. Its not fair. I know it is petty… but he needs to be brought down a notch. It will be his second offense too. HE could do jail time!! That’ll bring him down a peg or two. can’t fucking wait. he’ll have drugs in the car too hahaha
Omg…mine would too..not drinking but drugs…I wonder If all our socios are criminals?
They’re the quintessential “Catch 22” and will leave us in the ambiguity of circular logic, our emotional state and well being. Simply put I’d say they’re an anything but lose desperado!, all about self, even at the cost of their own self inflicted misery. Sociopaths as much as being subjected to, surviving one is like the journey of a chrysalis.
As in trying to figure them out rather becomes the searing introspection of discovering who we’re meant to be.
Here’s to all good!
Lol…what a dummy…I should check if mine has been picked up on any probation violations…
Hi Absorbtion, I hope hes in jail myself, I always put mine in jail for what he did to our lives, if you have a resraining order on him its vvery simplle, but he will still have someone writing him and he will b callung her an she will visit him as well, but I put him through so many changes it isnt funny. The hell with him at least u will b in oeace, and heal an recover, thats why this time around im okaee, dont get me wrong I miss him but hes a son of a bitch, just dont b dum like me. And take him back. It gets better boo really. Peace an love..
No way will I take him back. I don’t miss being ignored, set up to feel jealous, or set up for fights that will make him give me the silent treatment for weeks then call as if nothing happened and have it all start over because I wasn’t willing to drop the fact he had lied about whatever thing at the time… I do not miss crying. The isolation, the text message HELL, the feeling I couldn’t live without him as if he was a drug..he treated me very badly and I gave and helped him above and beyond what he deserved I don’t regret helping him I regret putting up with it for 2+ years. Especially this last year. I don’t want him back. I can’t think of any good reason to need him in my life. (He gave me 3 magical months but it was all fake…I miss who I was more than I miss him. I need myself more than him..he contributes absolutely nothing that is of value to my life. I got tired of living on an illusion. Reality is keeping me focused…
Stay strong!
Well said Abs. When I saw mine today I didn’t know if I want him or if I wanted to run him over!! I was actually comfortable w this new guy more than before too so that indicates some healing. I was with him from about 3:30-9:30 today so the longer I was with him the more comfortable I was. I kept thinking “so this is what normal feels like. If I act like my ex never existed like he does to me then I can see myself being happy w this new guy” I’m feeling like my ex screwed up and he knows it. I know one day it will officially be over in my own heart and head and that is what holds me back. The letting go forever.
He left me for another woman in Jan. and had the nerve to text me and tell me he was fine knowing I knew because I spoke with the woman and then came down here 4 months later and I did see him then he left and said he wasn’t living with any woman then came back 6 weeks later and texted and wanted to see me. I had enough and refused to see him. He said he would try and not have a problem that we weren;t going to be friends. His friend stopped by my house and told me how good he was doing and that they are in Love and can you believe that. 6 weeks ago he wanted to see me for who kjnows why but he’s changed.RIGHT Bull shit. It’s been 6 weeks now since I heard something so. I guess he got the picture. Who knows. I believe when the mask starts to drop he will try to contact me.He also, is a 2 striker. He is 52 and the last time he went to jail was 2 years ago for meth and now he supposedly only smoke weed.The woman hes with is a so, called christian. What a dysfunctional woman she must be to because she knew up front about him but choose to say they have to work things out. Boy is she in for a ride and I don’t feel sorry because she knew he lived with me and still had no problem taking him in so. I guess she will have to learn like I did. She talked all this crap to me like I was not good enough for him that she could be a better woman to him OK lets see. Ha Ha
Yay You 🙂
Stay safe always….it’s time now to rebuild your life & be happy!
🙂 🙂 🙂
PR xoxo
I was laughing and defiant all week. Broke yesterday. Now just very low. Suffering the no contact. He lied to me all summer and now he is with this girl and all I want is to still make him pick me. I don’t need any responses. Nothing in this moment will make me feel better. I cannot face the reality of it yet. I am aware that all I can do is get through this with the hope he cals again while going on with life and meeting other people. When will I stop feeling like my life hinges on his approval? That I could use an answer too. I want to lie in bed and cry all day. I’m going to get my hair done. Everything reminds me of him. Fucking everything. I hate inaction I want to do something!! Have it out! Scream at each other!! And we would be.. except now she’s taken my place and they will be blissful for months. I could pull my hair out!!!
Hey F.S. Blissful for months and that woman will b pulling her hair out soon enough, haha dont worry about that, work on yourself, no contact, they hate to b ignored, I had no contact for a yr, he was in jail as usual, I never ever toik his phonecalls and when he got released he called an I took him back, BIG mistake, HUGE everything went great for 40 days and behind my back he was seeing some girl, heard them on a 60 minute call, he denied it at first, but I knew to much and changed my # right then and tbere. We have a xell fone in my house a.nd he has rhat # though, thats rhe number I thought he accidently called, not im not so sure if that was an accident either he may have xalled on purpose to get me back for a whole yr of no contact. Anyway threw him and his hit out, if the ow doesnt have any knowledge of me then I will feel sorry for her, vut alot of them know about you and see him anyway, I say good for them actually I tell him all the time that he gets back at them for disrespecting me and he laughs. There raggedy ass bitches, they get what they deserve!!! Pesce an love mommi…
It’s just as hard for an OW to get out of a lie/scheme mill as it is for an original woman. I’m sure EVERY woman with a sociopath has replaced some woman, beknownst to her or not. In my case, I was in because he lied, obviously. We’d been seeing each other for about 7 mos. How can it be my fault if we continue? He’s already done his work, and I’m still not sure what’s going on.
Hello Luxia, can u believe that spath playing victim on our site.. Pretty sick but most of all disturbing,,their CRAZY. Every time I had the chance to get him back I ran with it. Part of me despiss him, but KARMA will take care of him for me. Be strong Luxia, Peace an love
Yea. It just pisses me off how someone would make up a story like that. I was sexually abused as a child and I am now in my 20’s and it still effects me and my intimate relationships. Just like how some people fake their deaths as jokes on the internet…mostly Suicide. What piece of shit fakes their own Suicide and sits back and laughs as the real tears and grief comes? And yes, Karma is a Biotch! My Sociopath just got his recently. THANK GOD! Mine actually has a few degrees in business, so it puzzles me as to why he would rob a laser hair removal clinic. For a measly hundred dollars. Was it worth it, was it worth going to prison for? Lol, Sociopaths will forever baffle me.
Hello Jusagirl, I wasnt really sure if u were responding to my post or not, and I hope I didnt offend you thats not my intention. What I meant was when a woman knows the spath has a wife, the ow shouldnt b with a married man, sometimes by making that choice can lead to disasterous results, if the ow doesnt know about you then I feel for her. Peace an love
Hiya Pos, that comment a turd that cant be flushed, I giggle everytime I read it. Its funny. Happy belated birthday Pos, mine is 2morrow
Happy Birthday and many happy days to come.
Thankyou so much!!!! 😉
Happy Birthday:)
Thankyou Luxia!!!! 😉
A couple of posts are gone including a reply did I say something to offend anyone I apologize
I noticed that too. I figured it was just to clean up the site maybe?
Oh nevermind, I c them.
Lol…I’m sure mine are still there too. I never checked. My reason: I’m tired of investigating everything…I swear I don’t miss having to put my evidence file, charts and graphs together for my sociopath…u know what I mean. Hope everything is having a good day! Smile and laugh as much as you can!
I know what you mean about feeling like an investigator. I’ve always likened it to putting puzzle pieces together. I’ve even told him that assumptions and accusations shouldn’t annoy him, that if he isn’t going to talk about the thing, assumptions are all I have. And let’s be honest, my assumptions tend towards the negative because he lied to me about some big things.
I sort of wonder if he hasn’t been trying to do less damage by omission, not that it makes it any better or more honorable. I believe he genuinely liked me and this is how we are where we are. When I asked him early on why he didn’t just tell me the truth, he once said, “Believe me, I’ve thought about it. Once, I almost sat down and emailed you everything, but then I thought, I don’t have to explain myself.” Hmmm. A temporary lapse of conscience that resulted in choosing him over me?
My sociopath said that too. He was giving some truth but when I asked a question I was surprised when he said I don’t need to explain myself to you. Strange considering he was “coming clean to a number if things two seconds ago.
I agree with the last paragraph of your article Positivagirl, it’s really good to vent and get it all out. But also kind of pointless…and unless you are a professional Psychologist or another Victim of the Sociopath as well, it’s hard to truly understand what we are talking about unless you have also experienced the horror of these monsters. Stay strong, stay positive and never give up….there is a warm friendly light at the end of every lonely, dark and cold tunnel.
Hi Absorption, ur response to my post was enlightening, u r so dead on about everything the does to us. You made me feel by reading it that u r done with this jerk, I wish I hadnt taken mine back for that brief time. We shall overcome. Stay strong and b positive!! ;)!!!! Peace and love
Yes. Absorption is dead on. Also, when it comes down to it, it’s all a game to the Sociopath really. Sociopaths are extremely fickle people. One minute they feel and say one thing, the next they are doing the complete opposite. And you are left playing this sick game were only the Sociopath knows all the rules. It’s a never ending merry-go-round. If you take the Sociopath back you will see that everything is fine and dandy, maybe even magical in the beginning…mostly during the first few months at least, then the mask slowly but surely begans to slip again and the relationship eventually goes down hill. You then find yourself back at square one and in Sociopath Hell. And this is EXACTLY what the Sociopath wanted. It was the plan from the start. The Sociopath never truly meant to change because they cant. And like they say, once…shame on you, twice…shame on me. Only a fool is going to give it a third try. Sociopaths NEVER change so all one can do is learn from the situation and move on. My Sociopath tried contacting me for almost a year after the split…and HELL NO! Sociopaths are the biggest waste of time.
I am. It still hurts very much and deep inside I know if he says the right things he will suck be back in again. The pain I have felt, isolation has been unbearable, at its peak I swear I could’ve jumped off a cliff to end the horrible pain. But it all became so predictable. I guess I saw the pattern (after a year) and realized I was being groomed to not question anything because I wanted to stay relevant in his life but I’m not wired to stay quiet so I let stuff go for a few hours and then I would say fuck it I need answers and he needs to know he is fucked up…I got so used to this pattern and his lies to get me to rush to help him he kinda became the boy who cried wolf. I would pretend to spaz out that I was worried and it seemed to feed his ego to have me so stressed and then I started to realize fuck he is a lot of work. It’s like he always wanted me to be worried and stressed 24 7 and I could think of nothing else but him and finally I started asking myself what the hell does he give me that I need to be in his life for? Nothing. Maybe a conversation once or two times a month when I could go see him ! ? It was insanity. So I decided to play detective one day he sent me this sad message saying he was homeless again and just standing outside a bldg. I asked if he was waiting for someone and he said I wish. Two seconds later I saw a car pull he put his belongings in the trunk and took off. I saw this and said well I’m in the area I can give u a ride somewhere where r u? He said walking blah blah. Then he said oh I got a ride from his friend Andrew (lie) I saw who picked him up and from there it was just lie after lie but what hit home was that I KNEW what I had felt for over a year..he wanted me stressed out over him all the time. He had a ride a place to go yet he wanted me to believe he was homeless. He is a terrible person. When I finally let him know (hours later) that I had seen him his response was that I was a terrible person for not offering him help earlier and he had to ask a random person for a ride (earlier he had said that his fone was locked in an apt and had just got it back…mind u he was able to find a place to go and get a ride within 10 min of getting his phone) Im fed up. He refuses to acknowledge that I saw what really happened and made me feel guilty for not offering to help him. (Demented) he re wrote what happened and that’s it. That was my ah ha! Moment.
I still have a way to go but I know that he is not good for me. It’s all bullshit. I never meant anything to him. I took away all feeling and emotion in that illusion and I’m fighting to get myself back. I have to remind myself many times throughout the day if I start to get sad that he sucks and I refocus on my life not the lie. I’m trying and I’m hopeful that I will get past this. This site has been my savior and I am so happy that I found it randomly on one of those chaotic days.?
Absorption, I feel your pain and am glad you have found this sight as it has help not only you but me as well. And obviously countless others, Positivagirl is really doing some GOOD here. Unlike our Sociopaths lol. My Sociopath did almost the exact same thing with me. I understand what you are going through because almost all Sociopaths operate the same. The same type of mental and emotional abuse, the same psychological torture. They reel you in…and get you to crave and deeply yearn for their love and affection. Little do you know this is all an illusion. They are doing this because you have something they want, rather it be sex, money, food or a place to stay ect. Or even just a puppet to play with… It is fun to them to humiliate, damage and ultimately destroy you. They have literally NO conscious, therefore they are capable of almost anything…even Murder. And Sociopaths can feel absolutely NO guilt for their horrifying actions. They may apologize…even cry saying how sorry they are for their mistskes and faults. But this is all a mere act. They are splendid actors indeed. You would be to if you spent an entire lifetime having to fake every single sincere emotion. Unlike you and me Absorption, Sociopaths can’t feel anything really, at all! Other than hatred and malice…they don’t have that little “Jimminy Cricket” at the end of their shoulders. And never will, sadly this is the reality of the Sociopath and when dealing with one you will learn this the hard way like most of is who have been victimized by them have. You must accept the fact that he can NEVER change. Ever…..! If he is a REAL Sociopath and not just some average self centered Douchebag, he will only continue to manipulate and control and hurt others including you. Once he no longer has any use for you…and can no longer use you, as Sociopaths eventually get bored with their victims, and leave when they have something or someone “better” to target, you will be abandoned in an heartbeat. If I were you Absorption, I would cut off all ties with this guy immediately and never look back before you really regret NOT cutting him out of your life sooner.
Yes,, absorption I agree with Lux, because I should have left years before I did and it made me someone that toke me out of my character not to lose myself totally..I ended up fighting back and almost got myself killed. They r dangerous when you try and protect yourself.and thry can also, make you crazy because of so much mental abuse. I could see myself killing him when he was sealing, cheating and all kinds of stuff from me. You begin to have a hate love relationship with yourself. Trust in what I say.
Yes. My Sociopath put me in the hospital once. He pushed me to the point I tried to Commit Suicide, and used my Suicide attempt against me to make me look like the crazy one. Monster……
Hi Lux, have a read of this & let me know what you think?
Also click on De-cording & Soul Retrieval…very interesting.
http://omgrey.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/breaking-the-betrayal-bond/
Love & light 🙂
Made me sad to hear you tried suicide because of his abuse 😦 please stay strong, no one is worth dying for….you deserve so much better 🙂
PR xoxox
Hi Luxia, b positive and please stay strong, strong for your own sanity. No other is worth dying over especially a sociopath, the sad thing is Im not really sure he would care, noheart.
WOW Marion. I can see that happening in my case too
The same thing happened to me. He had a dog never treated him bad but with mine he kicked off the bed and would constantly be mean. I think that is because we love our dogs and they can’t stand it.
Right again Marion, mine hated my little black Pomeranian George (he’s deaf) & the sweetest little boy 🙂
I think George is quite relieved he’s deaf as I’m a chatterbox 🙂 LOL 🙂 🙂
My Soc was jealous of anyone including the dog!
They are such losers, we are the winners without them & we’ve’ got our beautiful loyal doggies 😉
Hey Marrion, I admire your strengths and positive outlook. Keep it up girly. Good night everybody. It’s midnight here in Arizona…Xoxo! Zzzzzzz….
What great feedback from all these strong women, this site is better than lovefraud, I found that first and fumbling around found Positiva, so happy I found it, everyone understands me because they can relate, jeeze these woman an men understand what Im going through, how Im feeling about this crazy relationship, I sometimes feel like I live on another planet sometimes, ordiary people dont understand me, leave him they say, its not a goddamn regular relationship, its intense you feel it to your very core its the deepest thing to have someone fuxk up your mind and your dreams and your life, they even do numbers on your childrens lives, ruin families, I remember finding out he had 2 kids with this one, 1 with that one, I thought me my daughter and our two sons were it. Imagine finding out other wise, devastating isint it. No Im doing the no contact thing again and I will b ok… Good luck girls you can do it. Peace and love 😉
Only those in it would ever understand. I still want him… if anyone knew that they’d wsnt to commit me at this point. My heart is forever broken. And by that I mean I may get over himand not hurt over him some day but my heart will never work the same again. I CANNOT get rid of the ache
Aww FS believe me you will feel a lot better one day 🙂
Aching is part of the healing & it does hurt a lot 😦
I am sorry you feel so broken 😦 it does get better but, everyone is different.
Time will help but, still doesn’t make it easy 😦
Be strong 🙂
Thinking of you & sending a big hug 🙂 🙂
Love PR xoxox
I agree FS.
I swear! This site is a savior. No one knows what I’m going through. All of you on here are the firsit to hear what’s happened to me in the last two years first.
No contact is a step in the right direction. I get mad at myself when I start to get sad and remind myself that there is nothing good to miss. I don’t miss the chaos of emotions he made me feel. Then I look around and I get busy, I get moving and I refocus. I’ve lost enough time on him. I’ve lost days figuring out what happened, crying, spying trying to solve to puzzle with missing pieces ill never find. So I keep telling myself fuck it and move on. Lol sometimes I say it about 100x in a day but Im pissed and determined to get Myself back.
Time Is precious ladies, time waits for no one and we won’t get it back. I caught myself in a mirror while crying 4 weeks ago and I yelled at myself STOP IT!!! He doesn’t care! I wiped my tears washed my face and said ur going to be fine. Because we are. All of us are going to be fine.
Stay strong everyone!
Yes we will. I’m looking forward to fall and being busy with my kids and homework. I don’t actually care what he thinks of me… the respect thing is just my coping with no contact. I don’t like him and I don’t want him. I just miss that in love hopeful feeling… we will be fine. I just don’t know what to think about or even how to think…I have been obsessed for three years lol
I know exactly how u feel. My 6 yr old daughter just got back last night from a 6 wk trip with her biological dad (he lives in another state). But while she was gone when I would get in bed at night I would get so mad because I would lay down thinking of my sociopath instead of my daughter who was having a hard time at night because she missed me. I mean that’s crazy, thinking of a jerk first! And it was like that 24hours of just thinking of him, all kinds of feelings and the 15000+ messages (4 weeks ago he sent me 2500+ messages some were the same message sent about 300x) it’s insanity.
I was holding on to 3 wonderful months we had. 3 months!! The rest was nothing but empty promises of hope and confusion.
It was an obsession and I started to think of myself as a “creepy stalker” (he called me that) but if I was a stalker why would he say I’m his only friend and why would he ask for so much help? Circles and circles. Speech after speech I’d prepare, evidence after evidence I’d present, hours, days and weeks of silent treatment or blowing me off refusing to see me.. It was a nightmare.
Like u I’m glad school is about to start and that will get me back into a routine.
If you have a yard go out there and do some gardening, I did that and i got into it. I went to lowes bought seeds and soil and before my daughter left we planted those and I bought flowers and stuff and planted those too and it keeps me busy. Put a radio on loud and is tune my thoughts out. Another time I caught myself staring at a wall just thinking again (never ending thinking) and I looked at the kitchen and said I’m going to paint the kitchen. I did it in spurts and took way longer than it should have but I finished it.
He is a time waster. So much time given to this guy who was never even around 95% of the time.
Stay busy! Find a hobby. I love thrift shopping ill walk over to our local goodwill and just look around at some of the cool stuff the get in the store.
Tune him out. Tune those thoughts out.
I started to take care of myself more too, I started flat ironing my crazy hair again and doing my nails and dressing nicer even if I was just home by myself all day. And it helped me feel better.
It’s not easy and like I’ve said before I’m at war with myself to get my life back. I’m determined to not lose anymore time on this guy but I am very much aware of my weakness and the possibility of him squirming his way back into my head again because in all honesty he isn’t trying to get in my heart he is after my head.
When he text me Friday night after a week of not hearing from him I removed all emotion and looked at it as just words..empty crazy words. And he didn’t get to me. The pattern of his insanity is so predictable that it was almost amusing and disturbing. I wonder what it’s like for him to have to live like that and think like that. Every day has to be planned and lies need to be made up. I wonder if he ever just takes a day off? I also told him I want to know you the real you. I even aske him once if he had ever let a person all the way in and he said 1 person only. ( he was married to a celebrity/model waaay older than him and I believe she had drug problems off and on …but I doubt she really knew him, I think he loved that he could snap her fingers and whatever they wanted they got)
Ugh.enough of him.
Stay busy stay strong!
Hi Marion 🙂
Read this link if I haven’t sent to you before?
http://omgrey.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/breaking-the-betrayal-bond/
At the bottom of this article you will see De-cording & Soul Retrieval click on them as they have further info that you may find helpful 🙂
You stay strong, your amazing 🙂
PR xoxox
Awesome read PR. Betrayal bonds. Explains a lot for my situation and why I have been so sick.
Hi Judahbug 🙂
I am glad you got something from it 🙂
Near the bottom of the article is two high-lighted words De-Cording & Soul Retrieval, they both open onto other articles. I think they are both great & I did the de-cording & it worked.
Give it a try 🙂
Stay strong & a big pat for Judah 🙂
Love PR xoxo
Yes Judah is happy w mama! No more mean daddy kicking him across the room off the bed. No more staying outside in the Texas heat. He gets to curl up w mama and cuddle
Aw… Reading this comment made me feel good inside.
Yes Judah is my beagle and a mamas boy. My ex treated him worse than Hannah my part German shepherd bc she was a daddy’s girl. He never wanted anything to take my attn off him. I including my dog.
Great Judah & his Mama, time now for you both to be happy 🙂
No more Mr Nasty 😦
Be Happy always 🙂
Love PR xoxo
I know f.s. Going on 26 yrs. of this bullshit Im so tired of it. He caused me to have anxiety and insomnia that dirty bastard, he gas been diagnosed as antisocial p d, schizophrennie, bipolar psycotic, Im surprised rthat insomnia and anxieety is all I have received but my mind is very strong and Im goonba b okaee no contact.. The way to go. Peace and love…
I would love to hear someone say they were healed and over it lol but they probably aren’t hanging around here anymore. Why remind ourselves once we’re better. I keep wanting to call and talk it out like always but this is the first time the lie he told is so bad and I can’t accept that …there isn’t any excuse. I will not call. I just keep telling myself I may not have his love but I will have his respect!!!!!
@feelingstupid
“you will have his respect !!!” ????!!!! Do you hear yourself?
Sociopath will NEVER respect you. You should focus on re reading the posts on this blog
https://datingasociopath.com/2013/05/11/the-sociopath-will-never-respect-you/
Only if you realize these posts are serious and you follow the advices, you can expect to be better, otherwise you will stay in fog and circles of abuse…
Instead of focusing on him, how will you earn his respect, you should focus on yourself and think how you feel communication with him as disrespect towards yourself, you should respect yourself.
@feelingstupid
Sorry if I sounded harsh, I didn’t mean to hurt you! I just forget that people here are in different phases:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
I realized that this about “earning” his respect is actually an example of ‘Bargaining phase”, it is normal that you are having such thoughts.
I was searching to find you a link on article where these 5 stages of bereavement are explained… but I couldn’t… maybe positivagirl can help with a link ?
As you progress in you recovery, you will too get out of the fog, you will see more clearly. It will get better! I can tell you, I was a year ago in a deep fog, terrible state… I remember when I talked to my friend about my ex spath (I was in denial and bargaining phase) … my friend told me : “Don’t talk to people what you’ve just told me, they will say how this girl doesn’t have any respect for herself! ” I can assume she saw me like that and I was in deep fog, couldn’t see the state I was in. But, it gets better, I have moved so far from that time…
U give me hope too
26 yrs?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. I think I’m gonna cry!!!!!!!!!
Thanks all… thank God for this site.
Hi Judahbug, keep the hope and faith, you can say I may be in the acceptance stage, maybe thats why it doesnt have the same effect as it did when I first heard, but everytime I do no contact it feels alot better I had no contact for a yr. And took him back I will get it eventually I just love him is all. Peace and love. ..
Honey every time you feel or think you love him turn your mind around and think about all the crap he has done and then you will feel less love and see things alot clearer. Love to you I know how you feel because I had to do the same until it became a reality.
Yep Marion. it’s hard to accept that the person you loved & adored is indeed devoid of human emotions 😦
Still it’s our beautiful pure hearts that they are attracted too so, we just need to remember that. They take what they don’t have & it’s the only way they can survive!
I’d rather be us any day 🙂
PR oxoxox
Just when I *think I am doing really well in this process and I am actually happy, and doing things that I enjoy. I miss my spath.. right out of the blue! I spent the whole weekend out in the sun and I have enjoyed every minute of it.. I have laughed more this weekend then I have in the whole four years I was with him.. But, I tell you that there are days like today when all I do is miss my spath. I don’t do it as much as I use to, so that tells me I am on the right path to recovery. But, regardless of all the mean, hateful horrible things he has done to me, I still love him. I am not sure if it was that I didn’t think about him this weekend and I had such a great time or if its all the laughing I did. But, today I miss him terribly. Does anyone else experience this.. like you are doing really great for days even weeks then it hits you out of the blue? And all these emotions come back. I’ve let him go with love and that has helped me a lot.. I don’t hold anything against him because he can not help the way he is. But, these feelings that pop up every once in a while are hard to deal with sometimes.
I do that Indy. I had a great guy make me dinner w his roommates for my birthday on Saturday. It was awesome. Didn’t think about psycho boy at all. Was there over six hours!! Yesterday same thing but I couldn’t get the ex outta my head. I am realizing its the finality of it all or false guilt. Guilt he created in me. Or like when a judge signs divorce papers and u feel that finall reality that its over. Yesterday the guy was pretty clear what he wants for us and I do like him a lot but my heart started hurting as I realized if I succumb to this relationship then I have to let go of my ex and I know he will never be back. Which is good I know!!! But the reality just messes w me now and then.
Thank you for your words. It helps to know I am not alone in feeling this way. You are right. It is the realization of the finality of it all and it is such a hard pill to swallow, but, I also know with time it will get easier. It is so hard to trust someone after this. I also have met someone that seems to be really nice, but I also am very cautious in looking for signs of another spath. I do not feel at this point I am ready for a relationship. I am hyper vigilant now and take everything with a rather large grain of salt. I never want to go through that again. I hope your new friend is everything you could possibly want in life, and if not, I do hope you find the one that is. I am making it a point to just surround myself with all the people that I love and concentrate on my own happiness. I just wish these sporadic feelings of love and sadness for my spath would go away for good. Maybe in time they will. I hope the same for you.
Thanks Indy. I am not ready for a relationship. My ex still has my heart. There’s part of me who still wants him home. But for what? He will do this again. I can’t change him. And do i really want someone who doesn’t want me 50% of the time? I have to say I pray A LOT. If not for God and reading what He says about me and surrounding myself w my Godly mentors and this site I would be a lost cause. I loved that sick pathetic creature w all of my soul. But I did nothing wrong. And I think even Christ loves those who don’t love Him back so He has experienced the same suffering I am goin thru now. Even worse! But that’s how I get thru. Others here have different beliefs and that helps get them thru as well. We all find our way I suppose.
Well Judahbug, I went through my spath only wanted me 50% of time, if that. I hated the discard phase.. it really lowers your self esteem. I tried so so hard to make him happy and want to love me. But, whatever I did, it was never enough and what I did do, was usually wrong or the hoop to jump through was always set higher. Only to get a few crumbs of attention from him afterwards. I still remember him saying how I never did anything for him. Or that I was a b*tch or selfish before he would disappear on me. He would make promises to do things together, and they never happened. This is probably what bothers me most. I can count on one hand the things he did for me, but that did not matter, his happiness meant more to me then my own. But, yet I miss him and still love him.. and yes he still has my heart. HOW MESSED up is that?? I have prayed also.. and maybe everything that we have all been through on here will make us stronger happier individuals. That is my hope. I am very thankful for this blog. I come here often for strength and knowledge and it has really help me in this process of healing.
You know….It’s raining cats and dogs outside so I’m stuck in the house today. And have been thinking, and I have come to the realization that being a good person is actually really hard and almost like a curse, your always wondering if people are true…or just using you and taking advantage. In a world were kindness is taken for weakness, and living in a world filled with millions of Sociopaths. It’s like I feel as if I am a Sociopath magnet. I am only 22, still Considered a baby to some I suppose. And I have already had about 3 Sociopath friends and I have dated two. It’s a shame that I walk around now looking for the red flags and warning signs of the Sociopathic character when meeting people. I shouldn’t be having to do that at my age….as most girls my age don’t even know what a Sociopath is. Sad, but true. May I add I am quite attractive…so when a guy wants to get to know me I always wonder if he actually likes me, or if he’s a just a Douchebag looking to get laid lol. Or if he’s a Sociopath and wants me for my looks and because I am nice to everybody and believe everybody deserves a chance. It’s a win win deal for the Sociopath. A attractive girl who is nice and independent…what a perfect object to use and abuse. Lol. Just thought I would share that….anybody get what Iam trying to say?
LOL Lux,
I get you & I’m 50 🙂
I have always been like you are now so, my advice is to work really hard on yourself & manifest only true & worthy men/people into your life.
At 22 you should set your standards very high & never ever compromise what you truly want & need in a relationship ever!
My mistake was always being too nice so, it allowed others to manipulate & use my heart.
I have taken 50 years to learn that I must never let myself be compromised again even if it means losing someone.
You must speak your truth & if they can’t take it bad luck!
Work out what you want in life & make it happen 🙂
Make your own good life, don’t wait as it goes by quickly!
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
Thanks Phoenix Rising, like they say….”Age ain’t nonthing but a number!”. Especially when it comes to the Sociopath! Godbless and sweet dreams. Xoxoxo……
Your welcome bella 🙂
I have a nearly 21 year old daughter & I make sure her self worth is sky high 🙂
I wish this for you too little one 🙂
Godbless you & much happiness forever 🙂
PR xoxox
Im in Australia so, day time here & I’m multi tasking at work 🙂 LOL
PhoenixRising could you please advise me on how I could manifest true and worthy men in my life? Would appreciate any and all tips. My first experience with a socio has been rather numbing and it has been only 3 days since I have learned he was a socio. I am trying hard to be thankful that someone out there was looking out for me and I was protected from any serious harm. I was somewhere between the 2 and 3rd phase. And it’s funny how I was prompted to google sociopath not knowing where the urge to look it up came from. I really did not know people like this existed and they are amidst us. Look forward to hearing from you.
Hi Riah 🙂
Like you I sort of found this blog by accident & really didn’t know the full ramifications of a Sociopath & their traits etc…
I was only discarded abruptly as the OW contacted me via email wanting to know who I was etc…My sorry tale is on the My Story section but, it’s in older comments June 14th.
You are very lucky indeed if you have realized now & not too much of your time has been wasted 😦
I was with my Soc 10 protracted years & probably still would be if the OW hadn’t become suspicious of his behavior.
I am glad she contacted me though & bought my attention (albeit shattering) of this despicable man.
I tried to expose him but, came off looking a little nuts, still I obviously upset his equilibrium 🙂
All I can say now is never get into a relationship unless you truly feel you are ready.
Meaning, don’t be feeling like you have to have a man.
That you are comfortable either way & not insecure. Do lots & have plenty of friends,never knock back an invitation to enjoy life.
If you are rebounding or vulnerable due to some trauma in your life then be careful as they target vulnerable, damaged woman. Mine picks up at funerals or when selling a car to them etc…he’s also a fireman so, lots of easy targets due to trauma.
They present as the Knight in Shining Armor when in fact they are your worst enemy 😦
As they mimic everything you are it’s hard but, no-one is that perfect or so like you?
I guess knowing the red flags is very handy & I wish I’d known before now.
If they come on strong or a savior be wary.
If you think something is off & have to play detective then run.
If things & people don’t add up, all talk no action, always texting etc…run
To manifest a real person you need to decide your strict moral code etc…
How you want to be treated.
Never compromise your beliefs even sexually if they start suggesting deviant behavior unless your into it?
Don’t let them lecture you or tell you how to behave or think.
Think for yourself in all cases as they come across very strong so, this is hard.
Know yourself & your expectations & never lower your guard, always keep yourself & the real you protected. They don’t need to know everything about you.
Meet their family & friends & make sure they are real. Proof of life not lies.
If you catch them out in one lie there will probably be more, honest people don’t lie in the first place, I don’t.
Manifest a good true man,one that puts you first, not as an afterthought. Don’t think constant texting or calling is a relationship it’s just for control & gaming.
Normal people don’t do this not even young guys.
Look at normal relationships, they don’t play games.
I don’t know if this helps but, hopefully reinforces that you need to truly value yourself & then a Soc won’t be able to penetrate your psyche because your too strong in your own power 🙂
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxox
Well said, PR. Good advice for us all.
Hello all. I’m feeling that abandonment today. OMG I hate this. How can they really throw life away like this? It’s driving me insane!!!! I do ok. Then I do good. Then I do GREAT. Then swoosh. SLAM. I hit the floor again. I’ve gone NC for awhile now. All this does is give him the victory and favor to move on and forget the past 3 years.
PR can u please tell the bear spirits to freakin eat him!!!! Turquoise? I dunno. maybe like supermans cryptonite?
Hi J’bug,
It’s all part of the process & damn stupid Soc hell 😦
We keep looking,hoping,crying & blaming etc…then it’s like, let’s do it again & round you go 😦
I think you just need time & rest & then more time.
Nothing will make it go away except acceptance.
The Soc won’t be worried about you & will be carrying on in his usual deceitful way.
You have to take you power back, you are in control of this & your thought patterns must change 🙂
The more you dwelling on the past the more it becomes your today & your future.
Try & live in the moment, try & focus on everything you are doing.
Every time your mind wanders back to the Soc, change the subject in your head.
It’s hard but, with practice you can do it.
Be conscious of your breathing, be present in now 🙂
I know it’s hard but, it’s what I have trained myself to do.
Go online & help others but, don’t reflect on your own experience as much.
Look at your life & others as an observer & this will help you.
Get a turquoise gem stone or whatever object you can put in your hand or put a rubber band on your wrist & snap it when your thoughts & moods wander to the Soc.
Just hang in as it will get better but, sorry no magic cure otherwise i’d be loaded (with money that is) LOL.
PR xoxo
PR but aren’t the spirit bears hungry at all??? Soc’s make great meals/snacks etc. mine would be like a chicken wing. Use a little BBQ sauce.
LOL wouldn’t that be great 🙂
with a side of fries 🙂
Jokes for you 🙂
” A man said to me you act like you know everything”, to which I replied,
“That wasn’t acting” 🙂
“I’m not saying she’s a slut but, if her vagina came with a password it would be password”.
“I’m not saying your fat, just keep your chins up!”
LMAO 🙂
PR xoxox
I know my stbxP gets really frustrated when I laugh at his antics:) he’d rather see me cry
They can get irate when you laugh as they realise that they are NOT having control over you! …. when you laugh you keep the control of you and don’t engage in their stupid games and behaviour.
So true, what I’ve noticed too, is they relish in you being the joke, something twisted in that they can only enjoy themselves in others pain, makes them feel good, probably something in their childhood gone wrong and it’s now characteristic
So true Ash re the Soc making fun at our expence.
My Soc would often pick at me in front of his son (his wing-man) & they would laugh at me with their in jokes 😦
My daughter dates a guy older than herself but, he treats he very well & my Soc & son used to say he was a Paedophile & I was always very disgusted & said, “no, as long as he treats her with respect (he does) & values her then his age is not a problem for me”.
She’s 20 he’s 31.
She’s a very mature 20 & he’s really great to her 🙂 🙂
The Soc’s son has a very low opinion of woman 😦 which I always hated & told him so 🙂
I didn’t realise until too late that they were both gaming me, sad but true!
Once the son slipped up & his father (my Soc) glared at him & the son said “I’ve got your back”…
I looked at them both & thought what an odd thing to say but, had missed the slip-up which was about a cover-up re my Soc going overseas with the OW oh….the son went as well!
Love & light 🙂 & backatcha re your family, your daughter sounds like fun 😉 re pic.
PR xoxo
aah! tnx, it’s amazing how good I’m starting to feel about myself, all this sharing and knowing that out of the 8 billion of us around including birds, aquatics and beasts and… there are plenty of beasts, there’s a dixie delight, just outright dandy!! happy from ya! at least there’s a happy place we can all escape and come on over to
here’s that 🙂 I owe you and the next rounds on you, Pinacolada!! tnx!
Hi Ash 🙂
Dixie Chicks for you 🙂
PR xoxo
Hey PR, tnx for the song, gets it all out as to how hurtful this all becomes and captures the summation of bare feet as no semblance for the abandonment as they leave. How sad things can relatively become when we look back. Well, it’s Friday, I’m gonna get some popcorn a coke maybe and watch some movies! My daughter’s out to her cousin birthday party and she asked if she could sleep over, my son’s out with friends. I kinda like this once in a while peace, can catch up on some reading and reflect a little, not for too long though.
Have a great weekend! 🙂
🙂
Lots of peace to you Ash 🙂
You have a great weekend & life 🙂
PR xoxo
Tnx PR, all the best too :), keep well
I tried it today and it worked!! :))))
now everytime I think of the things he did to hurt me, I laugh at them….man that feels good!!!! :)))))
Yay laughter is Always good Angela 🙂
I can’t thank you enough for this blog……It is saving my life at the moment. It is extremely important and by far the best information out here.
I love laughing about my idiot Soc. I have been free 6 days now and I miss him / WTF!! rollercoaster.
He would never call me his girlfriend, not in 6 years. I was always his family!! his best friend!! He told me he wasn’t settling down…..He did tell me that and yet I saw him almost every day these last few months. He told me he loved me all day every day. I knew I was being set up and that his ‘out’ would always be in his language he used so as not to be at fault….I always knew there were other women……..I thought flings?
I read your blog over and over again so that I can not blame myself too much………He told my friends how much he loved me…..I am not crazy!!
I can only laugh at how stupid he is, and then I think I played right into his hands.
But today!!!!
I will hurt, laugh, smile, cry and move on a little more.
PLEASE keep posting ALL OF YOU…….I need it!!!
Thank you
Welcome to the site Paula. I am sorry it has taken me so long to allow your comment through. YES I quite agree, laughter is the best therapy, to be honest a lot of the things that they do, are hilarious (although its not quite so funny when you are on the receiving end)
Hi Paula 🙂
Smee again.
Please keep your chin up 🙂 it is bloody hard & yes painful but, you know what??? Your worth it 🙂
Here’s what I would put in an add for a partner 🙂
I want someone just like me, honest, trustworthy, reliable, good self awareness, basically a decent human being.
Anyone with a basic personality flaw meaning, you think your sh*t doesn’t stink, need not apply 😉
Oh & if you think being a sneaky, covert, lying, cheating, mind gaming twat sounds like you?
Then take your application & pretty much jam it up your ar*e 🙂 just so we are clear.
Do not apply if your not ‘real’ as I don’t appreciate time wasters as my time is precious 🙂
I need to invest in a “Reject” stamp…..hahahaha 😉 bet, if they came as they really are, we would never even consider their application!
Love & Light 🙂
PR xoxo
P.S.
An application from a Sociopath:
‘I float like a butterfly & stings like a bee’, ‘I am the greatest’,
Mein kampf is my bible & ‘predator’ is my favourite movie.
‘Reject, Reject,Reject…..funny, my Soc said some of these things!!!
Just think, he sits on a panel & decides who can become a fireman & he’s on the disciplinary committee….Yay!!!! 😦 😦
I hope my house never catches fire cause, he won’t send out the truck!
I have all my garden hoses connected just in case!!!
This whole blog is such an eye opener… I had never even known what a sociopath was until recently… I was going to marry the guy and of course he cheated thinking I would never find out .. but I did and like you say … he course lied and lied and manipulated and then lied some more… It is such a relief to know that I am not crazy and that there are others who have experienced and come through situations like this! I am very much still in the anger stage and quite often (everyday) wonder when my focus will finally shift back onto me as my mind is constantly filled with rage and just this desire for vindication?!?!
Finding out that he was a sociopath was pretty mental as he had led me to think that all was well and we were fine. The truth came in light around August but, it really wasn’t until November that I actually realised that he was what he was… I think I was in some kind of denial or that confusion stage that you talk about.
Thank you for sharing such insightful and comforting stuff… it can indeed be so hard when you feel like no one really understands what you are going through but this blog has shown me that I am not on my own!!
Strangely enough I don’t feel any anger at all towards my ex psycho. I think as soon as I discovered he was one, and understood what was behind his actions, then I knew there was no point.
Too kind for my own good, my first reaction is to feel sorry for weirdos, but sociopaths don’t deserve my sympathy.
Happy to report that today I laughed while watching telly, so there’s hope for me yet.
Ha good for you!! Laughter is good for the soul.