I was in the pub earlier today, and got talking to an 8 year old girl in the garden. I had noticed a woman in the pub, who was more than drunk, she could barely stand up. This woman was with a man, who appeared to be sober.
The little girl told me how she hated smoking that her dad smoked. So when I saw the little girl go to the woman who was drunk, I presumed that she was also with her father (who appeared sober).
I watched as the woman tried to put the little girls coat on, but could barely keep herself straight to do so. It was too late, when the little girl led the woman out of the pub. It was one of those situations, where you want to intervene, but don’t know how. Had I been in a working situation, I might have reported to social services. I guess the sober man wasn’t her father as he stayed behind in the pub.
It was horrible to witness. I imagined how the little girl would likely go home, her mother would crash on the sofa and fall asleep, while the little girl took care of herself – and probably wondered when she would eat dinner?
I said to the person that I was with – if that child has to go through that on a regular basis, I could see how she would switch off emotions to ‘cope’.
It was after this had happened, that I saw a comment on here, from a sociopath who said ‘abuse creates sociopaths’. I wondered just how true this is?
I also know that it is quite common for victims to question themselves after a relationship with a sociopath. I know that I did. But this is often because while in the relationship you have to learn to switch off to survive. I know that during that time I became hard. I had to, or I wouldn’t have survived, I felt like I was in a constant battle, and always on ‘alert’ what would happen next?
I wondered if this had happened in childhood, or at an important developmental point in life, would this cause sociopathy? Can we become temporarily sociopathic ourselves, simply to survive in the relationship? Shutting down emotions, to protect ourselves?
Also, I guess I just feel bad, as I didn’t intervene in a situation that involved a little girl.