Sociopaths will say whatever they like – to get what they want

You might have wondered how did you stay so long? How were you deluded for such a long time? It isn’t that you were stupid. It is that the sociopath is a predator. Everything that the sociopath does is premeditated. They do not think too far ahead, but they often have a plan. If you still have the sociopath in your life. Observe. When they are planning their eyes narrow. They think – then they give you the next story, this is engineered to get whatever they want.

The sociopath is arrogant and thinks that everyone else around him/her is stupid. The sociopath is a narcissist, but this isn’t apparent. At least not until they start to lose control and then you see a different character. Mr Control then emerges, and this character is not kind, caring, thoughtful or loving.

The person that you see when the sociopath is losing control is who they really are. Unlike the narcissist (who is more stupid in comparison to the sociopath) who I admit – is smart, the sociopath is different. The sociopath goes to great lengths to hide who they truly are to you, and what they are thinking.

The sociopath is selfish and always thinks of themselves and their own needs. They only do something for someone else, when there is something in it for them. The sociopath is always thinking ‘what’s in it for me?’ they cannot see the point of doing things for others unless there is a long term objective for themselves.

What is most confusing, is that sociopath’ s are very good at using a mask of deception. What you see, is rarely what you get with a sociopath. In fact, what you see, is often opposite to what you are getting.

As discussed earlier, sociopaths struggle with empathy – they can sympathise – but not empathise. Although they will go to great lengths to ‘feign’ empathy (therefore appearing more empathetic and caring than anyone you have ever met) – but it is usually fake.

Liar liar pants on fire

Fakery is something that sociopaths are experts at. Whilst the majority of society find it easier to tell the truth. The sociopath is the opposite. The sociopath finds it easier to lie and deceive than to be honest. Β Sociopaths lie, even when telling the truth would be far easier. At this you might think that they are quite crazy. You are partly right. Lies for the sociopath are the mask of protection. Remember that two things are more important than anything to sociopaths.

1. Control

2. Winning

By constantly lying to you, feeding you false information, the sociopath has the upper hand. They are in control and ultimately, (for now anyway) they are winning. Remember also that sociopaths can get a rush of endorphins and experience dupers delight from conning you (or anyone else). Even when the sociopath does not start out to con you, within a very short space of time, the same pattern will repeat. The reason for this is because the sociopath feels safer behind the mask of illusion.

The sociopath would feel very exposed having to be truthful all of the time. How could they be in control and win – if they are telling the truth? And if you know all of their information? This is why the sociopath, whilst demanding to know all of your business are very secretive about their own.

As sociopaths do not

  • Experience empathy
  • Have the same range of emotions
  • Experience guilt, remorse or shame

Telling lies becomes habit. A way of life. They do not particularly care about your needs, welfare or feelings. As they are fulfilling themselves. Everything that they do has a final outcome (in their mind) – of what is in it for them? If there is nothing in it for them, it is probably pointless doing (in their mind).

Sociopaths will therefore do and say whatever they feel like – simply to get what they want. The sociopath is not stupid. In fact the reverse, they are often intelligent. They see life as a game, and you and everyone else, merely players in the game. If you have a sociopath in your life, or if you are thinking of inviting them back into your life – be aware – nothing will change. Nothing ever changes with the sociopath. At least not for any length of time. They will always revert to previous patterns of behaviour. As it is behind the mask of deception that they feel safe.

Sociopath’s think that they are smart and clever, usually they are. However this is intelligence combined with manipulation and deceit. This is what makes the sociopath dangerous. Sociopaths can appear to be the kindest most friendly people on earth. They can be funny, witty, charismatic and charming – Until they start to lose control…. and then a flick is switched inside, the mask of pretension comes down – and you witness the real person behind the mask.

Copyright datingasociopath.com 2013

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156 thoughts on “Sociopaths will say whatever they like – to get what they want

  1. The fake empathy and lying are all so true. They are master deceivers and manipulators. You would think that after marrying one and agonizing through more years than I care to say, I would learn the red flags, and not ignore them, even in friendships….I am a sociopath magnet. They spot me from a mile away. Your information is spot on! I always thought mine was a Borderline Personality Disordered person, however, I think that Sociopath actually fits better…

  2. And ironically – or not – on my ex-sp’s FB profile, he has “Mind games” listed as one of his favourite things. That should have warned me right there.

    1. That sick bastard..yeah that was a red flag if ever there was one. We dont need them, they need us, have to keep them out of our lives for good. Love an peace πŸ˜‰

      1. Mine did too. When I said, “Whaaaaa??” He back-peddled, “Well, everyone is a little crazy, in their own way.”

  3. Thats so true, life didnt stay nice for very long this time around, a mere 40 days an a buch of bullshit. They dont change, just like we will never b like them, we r what we r……sometimes I feel so sorry for him hes so lost. Love an peace everybody… πŸ˜‰

  4. Positiagirl, this is such good information. We definitely are not stupid, they are just crafty and clever (my spath was greatly intelligent). :p

    Then the scary part came out. He drove more angry and wrecklessly than a bad evil road rage person. I’m serious. Racing 70 mi in a skinny shoulder in stopped traffic. A hair away from crashing and dying. Starting fights at red lights with the car next to us many times. Punching the dashboard. He raced my car in a rage and the gas pedal stuck!! DANGEROUS people :O

  5. “Sociopaths will say whatever they like – to get what they want”

    This reminded me… a boy 4 years old…. they told me about him: ” Oh unlike his brother, he is dangerous! πŸ™‚ The other day there was no one available to take him out for a walk except his grandma and she had pain in her legs so she didn’t want to. So the boy told her: Grandma, I dreamed that you were wearing that flowery dress and that we went out for a walk. So, put that dress on and let’s go out! ” When I heard that I was thinking is that the early red flag? 4 years old and already saying whatever he likes to get what he wants! Terrible. Couldn’t he say: Oh grandma, are your legs hurting bad?

    And I remember my late father would always repeat the same story about the event that happened when I was a child. When we were driving to family picnic in nature, my father got stung by a bee. And they say how I said:” I wish the bee stung me instead of my dad.” My father would often remember that event…
    … and later in life, I became target of sociopath…
    I think there are early signs, even in childhood, if observed carefully…

    1. Yes they have the mentality of a child…. thing is that most children grow up and grow out of being manipulative and thinking the the world revolves around them and their needs…. sociopaths don’t 😦

      1. Yup. Sociopaths are VERY immature when the don’t get their way and throw temper tantrums like five year olds. I remember when I was dating my second Sociopath, once when I didn’t buy him his favorite Ice Cream at the Bakery in Walmart he plopped down on the floor Criss Cross Applesauce style with his arms folded and pouted. Lol…and this was a twenty four year old man. :/ I was SO embarrassed.

    2. Um. I don’t think you have ever met a sociopath before. Sociopaths are manipulative people, who commit acts of rage against people. There are people who drive over 55 mph who are not sociopaths. Sociopaths are vengeful and want revenge for small things. They also explosive for no reason. Making up that kind of shit is irresponsible and not really correct. You should stick to sucky dating sites. Female sociopaths are just like you. Big fuckings liars.

  6. I love how you touched on how they are more comfortable behind the mask. Really got me thinking. I wonder why they feel that “lack of control” when they are completely exposed. I mean, for most of us, when we dont equate honesty with control, or lack there of. Just made me think! Makes sense, though.

    Regarding healing and recovery…I realize it has been all summer and I have completely fallen off my gym routine since I have been sleeping/venting:( I have gained about 8lbs, which isnt a ton, but my frame is small so I dont feel 100% about myself. This will resolve itself and come off, right?! ahhh I hate that I fell off my “healthy me” routine!

    1. Ah you can lose the weight at any time….. the biggest weight of all that you have lost is the sociopath!! πŸ™‚ Dead weight!! πŸ™‚ yes they are more comfortable behind the mask…. as realistically would they be tolerated if they WERE honest about their true intentions or motives? No… or alternatively they actually believe that they can make a change…. but poor impulse control always lands back to repeat pattern of behaviour.

      1. Totally agree. That impulse control may go dormant for 10 years. But when boredom sets in and a new scheme or game starts…

        “My” female SP will revert. I am convinced utterly.

        I saw her mask drop when alone with her. Ive also never encountered a deceitful lying game player like it.

        Before or since

      2. arg! yes lol..it annoys me since I am an extremely athletic person and love to go to the gym. Come to think of it, though, one of the first few weeks we were hanging out, I was in the process of moving. I lifted a box off a top shelf and he commented about my body and that I needed to “cool it” in the gym – one of my favorite activities. Ha! Didnt know my subconscious listened :-/ Either way, I will bounce back! Youre right though – dead weight is gone. Feels good to be worried about some of the “smaller” issues in my life again πŸ™‚ Ones I didnt even have time to consider when I was constantly being “Gaslighted”

    2. That doesn’t sound like much, and you have it under control that you acknowledge it so, normal? Unhealthy would be beating yourself either binge eating or over-working out. Don’t worry… you’ll get it off fast.

  7. You need to add that sociopaths accuse their targets of the very behaviour they exhibit.

    Specifically they are entirely deceitful. Will sleep around for power and think little of you. The blame frame shame strategy.

    Provoke you with unbelievable behaviour. Without a second thought. Then act like they are innocent and a victim.

    I had emotional outbursts with bullies playing up to a female sociopath who I fell to. Who slept with three coworkers. Yet always came out smelling the roses. Who always seemed literally untouchable.

    I was harassed until I reacted. Then was vilified. I mistakenly thought I loved her. I probably did at one time. I was beaten into subjugation over three years.

    Yes these people exist. Sociopaths.

    Beware of female sociopaths protect yourself. If you’re not comfortable or happy about a patten of behaviour. Be prepared to go no contact. That’s your ultimate protection.

    She now thinks shes smelling the roses. With no3. I know the mask will slip some day even if longer than a decade. That is a fact. Since what happened to me ruining my life for 5 years showed what was really under the mask of hers.

    1. I totally agree…Female Sociopaths are rare compared to male Sociopaths but they are just as evil and are out there just the same. They usually are very flashy and materialistic….even for a girly girl. They enjoy the finer things in life, such as Tiffany’s jewelry and designer handbags or shoes such as Prada or Chanal or Gucci ect. It’s sometimes either stolen, a knock off or was bought with someone elses money. They love pampering themselves and spending days at the spa or nail salon…much more than the average woman and again…it is usually at the cost of other people’s money instead of their own. And they are considered very beautiful. Well….at least the ones I knew or suspected were sociopaths after months of questioning it were highly attractive. Beauty and sexuality is how the female Sociopath targets her victims both male and female. The men want to sleep with her and the woman want to be her or be around her. And because the female Sociopath is charming and Charismatic like most Sociopaths, she usually is well liked by the majority of people in general. She will play the “dumb girl, who’s just a pretty face” or the….”the beauty but no brains” role to get people to fall for her act. It’s pathetic and sad really but the female Sociopath will literally play being stupid or not as intelligent as she truly is so people will think she isn’t clever, conning, manipulative or capable enough of being a master at lying and flat out deceiving. Sociopathic woman love to fake Cry and be emotional when they don’t get their way or if you try to confront them for their dishonesty or when you have caught them in a lie or two. because of the fact she is usually considered Popular and Beautiful she will accuse you of being Jealous of her and say that you just want what she has. When in reality she doesn’t have anything…at least not in the long run, and depends on her looks to get her what she wants and were she wants in life. And because most Sociopaths lack to plain ahead, beauty doesn’t last forever…so when she old and alone she is F@CKED!!! It will take a few decades, but it’sthe law of the uuniverse…what you put out is what you will get back. Karma baby! Most Sociopaths usually have really bad, tragic or overall negative endings….and I hate to say this, but GOOD! πŸ™‚

      1. Luxia .

        Very scary , but very accurate description of a female one . Even though I know they truly exist. , its just so incomprehensible . It seems sometimes easier to pretend that it happened to someone else .

  8. Example.

    Female sociopath after alot of issues including sleeping with coworker 1 and associated bullying (BLAME) asked me about membership of a club I was in. Which she knew I was a major attender in. Her equivalent was closing. This was me alone with her.

    Me (empathic and still with feelings to her) obtained reduced rate membership for her by a friend.

    On going to see her giving her the details; several female coworkers and friends were there… reacted “what do you think I am?” In regards to the cheap rate membership. Rude putting me in my place obviously. I said “do what you want” left it with her then walked away. Embarrassed. (FRAME)

    She joined the club. Following weeks slept with coworker 2 and both in the gym where she made a point of caressing in front of me there and similar behaviour. Looking right at me knowing I’d be upset. (BLAME; FRAME ; SHAME)

    Eventually she moved to no3 coworker as no2 was not as interested. She tried to get me in conflict with no2 when I spoke with her alone (BLAME). A week later she moved to 3. Her and no3 again paid visit to the club together. By which point I stopped attending. I couldn’t bear it. (SHAME)

    She chased me out of my own club. She knew was my second home to cope with the bullying I experienced she actively encouraged from other males.

    Either gaming me: by warning me she was joining anyway and I should leave preemptively or using me to get information and or reduced rates. But then making a point of hurting me there. Gaming by attacking you emotionally on your territory. (SHAME)

    This is text book sociopath behaviour. Her needs are priority. She is centre of the universe in her mind. She will use you when it suits but chastise you if witnesses may see something contrary to the picture she is or has been pushing on others of you.

    Please share this. Recognise the signs and patterns of behaviour.

      1. The Sociopath is born wearing a mask honey. They can wear the mask as long as they want…until they get caught by a certain group of people or person who finally sees them for what they are. But “outing” a Sociopath to a large sum of people is not only hard to do but really rare and since the Sociopath is the master of illusions, getting people to see the Sociopath for the monster they are or getting any type of revenge against them usually backfires 80% of the time and is ultimately a waste of time in the end. If and when the Sociopath knows his or her game is up with you and you are aware of what they really are and what is really going on… they will either A: try to successfully turn your friends and family against you which they are known to do. Or even make you out to be the bad guy as they so cleverly do to their Victims to cover up the cruel and terrible acts they have committed. If that doesn’t work then much of the time the Sociopath will resort to plan B: playing the victim. And try and get you to feel sorry for them and put on this big show trying to apologize and what not saying they will change and blah, blah, blah. If that doesn’t work then they will go to plan C: just gradually move on to target the next group of people or person. Sociopaths never change….they just evolve so to speak. When they realize that their bag of tricks and options with their victims and source supply is running low and the mask has slipped: they simply move on to the next. This is how they become better at the bad things they do and are able to become more sneaky and slick. Sociopaths are Snakes…like in the Bible for example, in the story of Adam and Eve the Devil Lucifer took the form of the Snake to stirr up drama and havoc for his own personal amusement. He tricked Eve into taking a bite out of the Forbidden fruit. The snake knew she was niave and even weak, so he Seduced her and entranced her. He was able to do this because he was wearing a disguise. This is what Sociopaths do…they are wearing a Disguise to fool Society. This is how they become better at their game after so many years of doing it. They appear to be good, honest, charming people but they are wolves in sheeps clothing, they are the exact opposite behind the mask.

      2. Wearing a mask is how they feel comfortable Marion. They feel safer behind a mask of deception. How you feel when you tell a lie – is how they feel when telling the truth. It unnerves them. So asking can they wear a mask for 10 years – is like saying can you try to be truthful for 10 years? Yes because it is automatic and natural to us – they are just being who they are.

      3. @ Luxia

        Thank you for your post today. I’ve been feeling strong lately but last night I couldn’t sleep wondering why my spath doesnt try to contact me as so many of the other posters spath’s do…and why is he still with the girl he was with when we met? Now I see that I have exposed all his lies to me and he has no source of supply from me anymore. And she must not see what I do despite sending her a message warning her of his behavior (this was BEFORE Positiva’s article today lol so I’m sure he’s made me out to be a crazed, love-sick stalker! She never responded btw lol) And while it’s upsetting it’s also very empowering knowing that he no longer feels like I can be a pawn to his games! I’m trying to see the positives in all of this madness i feel since I met him. It can be tough sometimes!! Courage and strength to all on their journeys of recovery from the land of confusion! πŸ™‚

      4. Hi Brandy πŸ™‚

        My Soc hasn’t bothered to contact me either πŸ™‚
        I went to great lengths to expose him & I burnt any bridge back to me right down πŸ™‚
        He is a coward & knows I know he’s a Sociopath & his lies were momentous!
        He is quite delusional & one of his best lies was that he was on a special operation overseas on a secret island doing terrorist training, I thought it was bizarre but, him being a Commander in the Fire Brigade I just assumed he was telling the truth 😦
        He used to go to the UK frequently on ‘terrorist training’ & I now know he was holidaying with the OW! The OW confirmed this.
        I am strong in my own power now & have no desire to see his rancid little poolooza self!
        Stay strong Brandy πŸ™‚
        This song reminds me of me & the OW

        That’s why I call myself Pheonix Rising πŸ™‚

        PR xoxo

      5. πŸ™‚ of all of the stories… I LOVE the outrageous funny, ridiculous stories the best!! The ones that make me laugh. Is it bad that

        He is quite delusional & one of his best lies was that he was on a special operation overseas on a secret island doing terrorist training, I thought it was bizarre but, him being a Commander in the Fire Brigade I just assumed he was telling the truth 😦
        He used to go to the UK frequently on β€˜terrorist training’ & I now know he was holidaying with the OW! The OW confirmed this.

        Really did make me smile…. wow… they are some space rangers huh? You look back and think how did I ever believe this bullshit?

      6. Yep he even showed me documents once from ASIO (Aust protective forces) but, it was an email/letter to all essential services personnel to be on the lookout just after terrorist attacks.
        I was so awed by his ‘big noting himself’ & I was sworn to secrecy. Gullible or what!
        I secretly thought “no-one would believe me anyway” πŸ™‚
        I think the biggest tell-tale was the damn ladies (Royal Dalton) in the glass cabinet & he was outraged when his ex wife (never divorced) sold her share of them from their property settlement on ebay πŸ™‚
        That coupled with the fact his son (wing-man) collects Predator figures really says a lot!
        I must have got the master, delusional, crazy Soc….Lucky me 😦
        I am good & it is funny now when I tell the story, everyone’s jaws drop to the floor πŸ˜‰
        Amazing really πŸ™‚

        How’s that book coming by the way???

        LOVE PR xoxo

        I also realized him being a Car Dealer as well that he sells his ladies cars that he will recognize if on the road & he’s with another woman! he was always checking the rear view mirror & very watchful everywhere we went, really creepy man.
        What was I thinking???
        LOLOLOL

      7. hahahaha PR …. you made me laugh – oh if we could get a book out of their crazy stories what a book that would be huh? hadn’t been writing too much recently I hope that I am finding myself back on track to writing posts again. it was tough the last month or so. So thanks so much for being there for people who commented as I was unable to be. I really do appreciate it!! πŸ™‚

        Ha I love the funny story of how crazy they are. Really makes me laugh and so much more healing than the anger hatred – it shows just how ridiculous they are …..

      8. Hi Pos πŸ™‚

        I knew something was wrong & kept trying to ask 😦
        I had a message for you but, I will post that privately to you on Facebook later πŸ˜‰
        I am glad your feeling better & I was hoping you didn’t mind me trying to help where I could πŸ™‚
        I recognize so many hearts in pain here & I cannot help myself, I have to reach out even when I risk my own healing πŸ™‚
        It’s all good though as I feel very connected via our souls on a higher plane & I am really enjoying the love that is coming through πŸ™‚

        I hope you are getting back to yourself πŸ™‚
        You really have done an amazing thing here by sharing your life story & look what it’s started.
        I am amazed at how articulate & knowledgeable these people here are.
        I think all this will give rise to knowing Soc behavior, making people more acutely aware.
        It will help others, possibly save many the anguish?
        Many great writers & communicators are among us here πŸ™‚
        You really are the “wind beneath our wings” πŸ™‚
        Pos you are my Hero πŸ™‚

        I see so many wings now, feathers everywhere πŸ™‚

        For You πŸ™‚

        PR x

      9. Aw I love that video PR makes me think of my daughter – I didn’t believe in angels. I do now. I held one in my arms!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ thank you!!

      10. Oh they exist & when I send you the message I know you will really feel the angels & Maya often comes through, don’t’ worry because the Angel of Comfort holds her in their arms πŸ™‚

        PR xoxo

      11. Thanks PR! I’m so trying to stay strong but some moments my loneliness gets the better of me 😦 Funny my ex is on the fire department too and always said he did search n rescue in the state over from us and I believed him too…well he might do it anyway but he had a fiancΓ© over there as well. I’m sure he lived with her as well the days he was over there. They went on several trips this year when he was on “guy trips” or training for his search and rescue job…..feel like such an idiot but he was such a good liar! Im trying to not beat myself up about it.

        Yes I have no desire to see him again either…unfortunately I work next to the emergency room and see the ambulances all the time and wonder if its him or not (he’s a paramedic too) So that aspect makes it hard. I get overwhelmed by the craziness of it all sometimes lol And I love that song btw!! Your music videos are spot on and Im really enjoying them! Keep em coming please!! Hope you have a great day!! πŸ™‚

      12. AWWW Thank-you Brandy πŸ™‚
        Yes I’d better go do some work 😦
        You have a great day & life also & I will send you a favorite new song of mine by Eliza Doolittle just released πŸ™‚
        I Love her, she’s so cute, saw her live & she’ very talented for a young lady πŸ™‚

        I hope you get something from it? I did πŸ™‚

        xoxo released yesterday πŸ™‚

      13. Thanks for the video PR! Again a very good one! Ive never heard of her and I will look up more of her music!

        Another rough day as the ex is texting trying to get the rest of his stuff. I hate even seeing his name pop up on my phone…well I changed his name to Lying, Cheating, Bastard lol but still. Im sure Ill feel a small sense of closure after he’s completely removed from my life…but the finality of it is still painful. Wish I could just get over this already 😦

      14. lol@Brandy,
        That gave me a giggle. I bet that’s one time when the name game really helps put things into perspective…

      15. Hi Brandy,

        Unfortunately it takes awhile for the effect of the Soc to leave but, I can honestly say I don’t think of him much at all πŸ™‚
        It’s as if the memory of the illusion is disappearing like the fog lifts & a clear day is there πŸ™‚
        I am still haunted by my own stupidity as I often recall the moments when I saw the real Soc & sat idly just not changing things (or did I just go into a trance like state???)
        When I think of moments when I actually decided I’d had enough he sensed it & played some more.
        My gut was telling me to leave it but, I was enabling him unknowingly??
        I think I was so hung up on proving myself & others wrong about him that I gamed myself a bit???
        I still am having trouble grasping this concept because, ultimately something in me made me accept very poor behavior that I never would normally take???
        I am delving deep into my own motivations as to why I didn’t stand up for myself?
        I am having Gestalt Therapy & I think the Soc uses the fact that I could be my own worst enemy & then he joined in?

        I am really strong but, reflective & still processing the dregs of this experience.
        One things for sure, my self worth was never great & the following says a lot πŸ™‚

        I hope you enjoy these & take something from them as I get a lot of messages from my guides via music & htese two haunted me during my time with the Soc & I didn’t listen 😦

        Love & Light :

        PR xoxo

      16. LOL yes it helps but my stomach still drops when he texts no matter how bad the name I give him. The change just helps remind me why I left. Somedays I have to be reminded lol….my heart likes to forget but my brain is there to remind me πŸ™‚

      17. @ C…..

        I love it! I forgot that I changed his name but forgot to change the pic. He’s only called twice so I never see the pic until then but that will definitely give me a laugh should he ever decide to call again. Doubt he will but Im gonna use the pic anyway lol Thanks!! πŸ™‚

    1. The Sociopath you describe sounds like a real stuck up self righteous Bitch. My Sociopath ran me out of my clique of friends too. And made me look like the “Big Bad Wolf” so to say. That’s what they do. They have a lifetime of experience in screwing people over and sabotaging people. They not only enjoy doing this but feel the need to get you out of the picture because they fear of exposure when they think you have seen their true character…or have seen a glimpse of what really is going on behind their mask; that Sociopaths wear 90% of time to fool Society. They are afriad of losing control over people and see you “in the way” of their main goal. And will do whatever it is to do to “win” at all cost…even if it means damaging the lives of innocent others in the process.

      1. @Luxia – there is a saying “you never lose a true friend, you just find out who they are”. I was completely betrayed by a woman whom I thought was a true friend about 5 years ago. I was absolutely devastated at how vicious she was, and she did her best to smear my character to other people in our industry. Of course, she only did that to people she knew she could influence and would buy into her victim attitude – I sure did find out who my real friends were …

        What is satisfying now is that one of those people who she turned against me … has found out what a lying bitch she really is – she completely turned against him, too. The funny thing is that now not only has she shown her true colours to Everyone she associates with (he could win a popularity contest any day over her), HE has found out just how vicious she is – now he knows what it’s like to be bad-mouthed and slandered and have people with whom he works turn against him. HA!!!!!

        Karma – it just took 4 1/2 years to come around this time, but it still comes around …

    2. Yup. Sociopath woman use men as a stepping stones to get in higher positions in life…they are masters at getting a guy wrapped around their finger or as they say in slang terminoligy, she’s got him “Pussy Whooped”. They do this especially in the work field and office area. And Sociopathic woman usually has more male friends than female friends due to the fact that when it comes to us ladies… we usually know all the secrets and tricks of getting guys to like you and any woman with a brain will see through this act of Narcissism and vanity and eventually get sick of her…and realize what a Slut she really is. As I noticed with the Sociopath woman I knew tend to only talk about themselves which not only gets boring but annoying after a while…so me and my girlfriends kept are distances. Luckily. The Sociopath woman will have a “army” so to speak of male supporters and admirers who she will also play against each other and sleep with to stirr up unnecessary drama and jealousy between the men yet also will use this as a shield when fighting or targeting her female victims. This is her way of “protection” …and much of the time when a Sociopathic person in general sees another Coworker who is better at their job than they are, the Sociopath will try to rid them off and set them up by framing them and getting them fired. Terrible, terrible, terrible. 😦 That’s why when I see something really bad happen to a Sociopath like some good ole classic Karma, I secretly smile inside. πŸ™‚ I know that sounds cold but come on….It’s a Sociopath were talking about here! Lol.

  9. The Sociopath I dated in my teens used to tell me these lies about how he was molested as a kid to get me to feel sorry for him, and used being sexually abused to justify why he was the way he was, it wasn’t until years later after we broke up and I was in my early 20’s that I bumped into one of his siblings who confirmed in me it was all lies. I remember when we were dating how he would get mad or frustrated, he would call people stupid and take his anger out on them and blame everyone else for his problems. He was NEVER wrong and NEVER apologized for calling people cruel names. I noticed that when it came to his “friends”he would always put them down and make them feel really bad about themselves. Sometimes even to the point of his friends breaking down and crying over the heartless things he would tell them. How messed up is that????? He would never encourage his friends to follow their dreams or reach for his goals…and would tell people that their idea’s were stupid. But expected everyone on the planet to agree with all of his beliefs or opinions. He never did much for his friends or anyone in general, his friends would pay for literally EVERYTHING. He would humiliate his friends, especially in public or in large groups for his own amusement. He loved to stir up drama and become the ring leader in the situation, getting people to gang up on one individual in particular so it would be for example: nine people against one. And he would sit back, relaxe and watch his “friends” tear this one person in particular to pieces, mentally and emotionally. Causing them the “ultimate” humiliation so to speak. Then he would reward his other friends for doing what he wanted and pleasing him by giving them “special treatment” as if his friends were all his pet and he was they’re master giving them a bone. Pretty sick huh? And I also noticed when it came to his friends in general ….they never really lasted that long. His friendships lasted only a few months at a time, either because he got tired of that person because he could no longer use and abuse them for whatever reason and the source supply ran dry. Or the people around him got tired of him and realized what was going on and cut off all ties or just one day up and disappeared completely without a single goodbye or explanation, even changing phone numbers and blocking him on their caller ID or Pagers. This was in the early 2000’s so Social networking wasn’t in popular main stream existence quite yet. So he couldn’t stalk them on Facebook or twitter or hack their accounts as some Sociopaths love to do. Then he talked badly about them and would try to turn people against them and try to ruin their reputations as all Sociopaths try to do. It’s a shame that Sociopaths seek “revenge” on the people who tried to be their friend and showed them nothing but kindness…but eventually caught on to them. The Sociopath now knows that that person knows they are a Sociopath and in the Sociopaths eyes they now must destroy them. When in reality it’s just that person finally coming to the realization that they are no good and no longer want anything to do with them. And honestly can you blame them? I know people who are friends with Sociopaths and know that they are Sociopaths and even look up to them because they think being a Sociopath is “Cool” for whatever stupid reason, they think that them knowing that their friend is a Sociopathic person will stop the Sociopath from hurting them just because they are aware this person has this disorder. People such as myself have even warned these people that this person is DANGEROUS and has NO Conscious. And they reply: “Oh, it’s okay, I know they are a Sociopath. So they wont hurt me.” And it’s like are you fucking kidding me????? That just gives the Sociopath more ways to trick and decisive you…and become better at hurting people. Silly little Empaths, Tricks are for Socipaths!

    1. Being 2 steps ahead of a sociopath is a neater trick, even as empaths, would we do what a sociopath does? fundamentally the answer would be no, rather walk away…lesson learned, heal, deal with it and be mindful that there’ll always be hope. We find this by seeking out the good in people, sharing, caring and understanding as we do here. Reading this blog has been a lifeline. I’m not alone in this emotional abyss. Magnetism the only paradigm we have that could explain why we end up with a sociopath and sociopaths don’t end up with each other in a world where they just don’t fit in. Perhaps the illusory thought that their behaviour can only and ultimately make us better people

  10. Yep all true of course & haven’t we learnt a lot here together πŸ™‚
    Thanks Pos another great post πŸ™‚

    My Soc’s favorite song was “What’s Love got to do with it” Tina Turner & “I aint missing you” John Waite…used to play it to me all the time in his car…think he was telling me something!
    He also said he was the Devil 😦 & “I’m a Bastard”, all the time…oh & “I am not like most men”….WTF was I thinking…he was literally telling me the whole time 😦
    I used to agree with him that he was a bastard but, thought I’d save him with my goodness.
    Sheesh what a miracle worker I am!
    His Royal Dalton Lady Collection & his son’s Predator figurine collection….biggest red flags ever!!!
    The OW was already playing detective so, HELLO….no wonder he called himself my ‘Master”, what a delusional, totally maniacal bozo I got 😦

    I am having Gestalt Therapy….can you tell πŸ™‚

    I am good really but, still can’t believe how duped I was, or was I???
    Part of me knew as I always challenged him so, that’s one of the reasons he stayed so long…he said he’d met his match in me! 😦
    Is that a compliment or an insult???

    Pfft oh well, game over & as I’ve said before in regards to the game Chess…the King & the Pawn go into the same box in the end πŸ™‚ At least I’ve got plenty of company πŸ™‚

    PR xoxo

    1. @PR

      Mine was also “telling me” the whole time and I didn’t get it till the “bitter end”.

      I think we didn’t see it because we didn’t know something like that (sociopath breed) exists! Now, when we think back we even see that they were telling us in many ways who they really were…

      One of the songs that my ex spath shared with me as his favorite was Johnny Cash – Hurt , look at these lyrics…

      “What have I become
      My sweetest friend
      Everyone I know
      Goes away
      In the end
      And you could have it all
      My empire of dirt
      I will let you down
      I will make you hurt

      I wear this crown of thorns
      Upon my liar’s chair
      Full of broken thoughts
      I cannot repair”

      He even called me in the beginning “my sweetest friend” … well, he did let me down, he did hurt me, he is a liar and he cannot repair” Now, when I know he is a sociopath it all seems clear…

      One of his favorite songs that I also didn’t like (now I see they reflect his sociopathy) was Bruce Springsteen – The wrestler :

      “If you’ve ever seen a one trick pony then you’ve seen me
      have you ever seen a one-legged dog making its way down the street?
      If you’ve ever seen a one-legged dog then you’ve seen me
      These things that have comforted me, I drive away
      This place that is my home I cannot stay”

      But, he also had so many favorite beautiful “love” songs which I didn’t even heard of before… so I just ignored those ‘depressive’ ones …

      My ex spath also told in some occasions:

      “I cannot change.”
      “I am so communicative with people, but actually I hide behind a mask.” (I thought how he found me, his soul mate, with whom he can now be open…:)
      ” I am actually so insecure, I think that’s why I get so witty, with humor I turn the situation into pleasant one”
      “All women always want more, more, more… I am happy with little things in life, little things are important.” (he was so cheap, selfish and lazy)
      “I was thinking about becoming a priest but I would be checking out women all the time LOL ”
      “I am something like Ironman – womanizer, but I don’t sleep around” (well, he would if he didn’t have erection problem lol πŸ™‚
      “I have more female friends than male friends” ( well, that’s obvious “special connections”)
      “I am very visual” (I guess he wanted to tell me he is porn addict, but this was closest he could say)

      1. Hi Caerra πŸ™‚
        They really do throw us a lot of hints but, we aren’t looking for a Soc so, as you said it goes over our heads 😦
        Mine would play songs on his ipod in the car & if I said I liked one he would change it?
        I would just think, control freak!
        I play songs endlessly & over & over right til the end πŸ™‚
        He was always bored but, he was so boring. I would always have to make conversation or it would be like watching grass grow 😦
        With others I am animated & happy & we exchange πŸ™‚
        With him it was either a lecture, telling me what to do, & he often repeated til I did it 😦 or he wanted to talk dirty!!! He was big on dirty words. Sometimes he would call me & ask me rude stuff like was I feeling you know excited etc…& I would be reading my book in bed & saying ‘Yes darling”, LOL shit missed where I was up to on the page! LOL
        I was like one of those sex lines, ironing or doing my job πŸ™‚ LOL
        He slept a lot but, would put his feet & legs on me to rub them etc…& if I attempted to move or leave he would say “don’t stop, don’t leave me I need you close”.
        So I would sit for ages going bananas from boredom & he didn’t care it was all about him.
        Big Sloth he was 😦 I would fall asleep sometimes & he would wake me so, I could attend to him!!!
        He would call & then not say anything except “Hello Darling”….then nothing???
        I would make excuse to hang up.
        He said he never masturbated???? Obviously didn’t need to as he was bed hopping like Jiminy Cricket 😦 or was lying as usual….had very calloused hands (lol)…
        He loved to wave his doodle around (lol) like I was impressed but, I was thinking….”don’t bother”…LOL
        He really is a pathetic little man now that I see him without his Commander Badge…he probably got that at another’s expense…I passed his Advanced Diploma for Business Management for him so, no doubt other diploma’s someone else did?
        Probably his ex wife (not divorced)….
        Sheesh C….what were we thinking????

        Isn’t it funny how when the mask comes off they really are sad creatures 😦

        Still we aren’t so, be happy bella πŸ™‚

        Love & Light πŸ™‚

        PR xoxo

      2. “He said he never masturbated???? Obviously didn’t need to as he was bed hopping like Jiminy Cricket 😦 or was lying as usual….”

        Mine said that too (and also about porn). I’d assumed the bed hopping as well, but now I wonder about ED? As in, they need different types of psychological stimulation?

      3. Hey Jus πŸ™‚

        They are just the weirdest of the weird (lol).

        This song has haunted me all day so, take a listen & tell me what you think?
        I get messages thru my guides & you are supposed to listen to this I think.

        Love PR xoxo

      4. PR,
        Thanks for the song. I don’t think I can reply publicly about my thoughts on it. Is it okay to write you offline?
        J.

      5. Funny mine said the same thing about how he never masturbated…but then again he probably cheated so much he probably didn’t have too! Also mine complained of migraines a lot….wondering if this was common to spaths or just his way of trying to avoid all my questions lol Always during a discussion about his past or about us he would say he was getting a migraine lol Maybe he was having difficulty keeping up with all the lies??

      6. Mine also had constant headaches said “I feel like my head is caving in!” yep telling all those lies would make mine cave in!
        He used to make me massage his head!!!
        Aargh they’re so pre-dick-table πŸ™‚

        PR x

      7. Whenever mine was about to be caught in a big lie – he would be so ill that he had to go to hospital – as he was almost dying. The lies that he told about his health (victim mentality) ranged from fictitious broken ribs (from a car crash that never happened) – to ptsd (ducking each time a bus went past) again from the fake car crash that never happened. To bleeding from his arse and his penis…. he would always switch to I am dying victim on my way to hospital to feign sympathy when he was about to be caught out in a lie and needed to divert attention elsewhere – as how could I be so unsympathetic to how sick he was… why am I so heartless… ah the wicked lies that they weave!! πŸ™‚

      8. Oh…but in his dating chats he told girls there he masturbated whenever he was bored….forgot about that lol Lies again….never know what to believe

      9. True, like everything else, that answer probably gets catered to his audience. Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall sometimes to see just how many different faces he has? When I think back to how my soc was dressing when he first met me, I find it comical. He’d aimed really conservative, missing the mark—and he’s not conservative at all himself. Was funny watching him try different things out on me for a response/feedback. He was always being shocked by my preferences as he learned them and was always questioning, “But that doesn’t seem like you.” I would be like, how would you know? Guess he wasn’t good at the assessment job.

      10. @jusagurl

        When you said : “Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall sometimes to see just how many different faces he has?”
        Well, I actually managed to remotely broke into his computer so I monitored him for almost a year – I was like a fly on the wall watching him. My ex spath was really well hiding his real sociopathic nature (or I was completely unaware), so my discovery was shocking… There was a web of women, ‘friends’, relatives and he puts his masks and writes emails… it was an amazing thing for me to follow it. I sometimes think how do psychologists know so much about sociopaths without monitoring them secretly? Maybe they do πŸ˜‰ All that helped me to stop communication with him and put myself on the recovery road. Otherwise, I think he would drag me again into his web, which he tried during this year, but I wasn’t responding…But, that is over now, as he became suspicious about some warnings his computer was giving him about hacking so he changed his email and got a new, paid, antivirus… but, I got to know everything I needed (they repeat their behavior constantly) and to break again I would need to invest some dollars into some hacking tools and I don’t feel like doing it, I have other, normal things to do. I got all I needed to know… it saved me… I was in immense pain when he left me. I could not understand… It was the first time I did something like that (hacking)… I am not a computer person but I do have certain technical knowledge so I just typed on google and I found out how to do it. It is good now that he changed his computer/mail etc… because all that time I had access and couldn’t stop looking! although I felt it was time to leave it…Since then, I really progressed with my recovery. So yes I was in a detective phase too πŸ™‚

      11. Caerra πŸ™‚ I love your “hacking” story.

        Although we can all admit that in a healthy relationship, we dont want to be doing this, I find it awesome thatyou did. I also got some inside info to my soc via his computer and holy crap I was blown away….DOZENS and dozens of women whom he had slept with, or was luring on the computer. It was so disturbing, and undeniable. He still doesnt know that I know. Because technically I am not supposed to know. And hes scary and I dont want to know what he would do to me/my things if he found out I knew.

        BUT..as disgusting as it was and for as much shock as I was in, it was exactly what I needed to seriously close the book. I could see him luring women via the internet forever. He would also be on those local meet up sites. It was gross. All lies. I secretly wonder how many of them there were…becasue I know what him and I had, and I never made it on the “file of women” πŸ˜‰ so that just goes to show that there are likely more that never did, too!

        just craziness πŸ™‚

      12. @gaslighted

        Yes I felt too just like you described it : “it was what I needed to seriously close the book” !

        I even took screen snapshots of mails he sent to various women on dating sites like pof, okcupid etc … As I had his password of his account on these sites I could log in and read all his emails : ” Hi …I enjoyed your profile ” posts πŸ™‚ …. I even made a funny Forward of some 10 screenshots with mails to 10 different women (all sent in a day or two – the date is visible). I was thinking to forward it… but then I didn’t…like you said, it is best not to say because of his possible revenge..

      13. Yes Jusa you are right about that! He would tell me he would never date a smoker…he went out with my friend who was a smoker. He said he’d never date African American women…there were several chats to them on the dating site initiated by him. Sometimes his craziness makes me feel crazy for still even thinking about him…. but I do 😦

    2. Ah I meant to ask you PR how is the gestalt therapy going? Do you like it? I found it really good when I was studying it on my counselling course. I had meant to ask you how you were finding it?

      1. Hey Pos πŸ™‚

        Yes it’s great but, a bit confronting 😦 still obviously this whole journey has been for a reason so, I am embracing it πŸ™‚
        It’s bringing up a lot of why I’ve let things happen to me all my life.
        It will & is bringing me to a much higher place πŸ™‚
        Thank you for telling me but, then you were meant to I realise πŸ™‚
        The “Way Shower” πŸ™‚

        How are you & how’s that book coming???

        I heard this song today & it reminded me of all of us here πŸ™‚

        Love always πŸ™‚

        PR xoxox

    3. HI PR,
      I have just grabbed a random page and comment. I wanted to say goodbye to you. I am so upset that you may have been hurt by my silly fascination with soc’s. After everything that you have done and all you were doing was protecting me and this site. POS has got it so wrong and that is really unfair. I do not want to upset anyone else so i am not coming back. I hope that POS lets this go through to you and that you see it. If you would like to stay in contact, please get my email from POS. Thank you for all your support and encouragement. You are an amazing treasure and I really wish you the best in your journey.
      Lots of Love
      IID

  11. Sociopaths will say and do whatever it is they have to to get what they want. Sociopaths would tell a blind man that the sky is purple poka dots if it meant getting their way in a situation. Just like that Sociopath Jodi Arias…the woman who brutally murdered her boyfriend Travis Alexander in a fit of rage of jealousy because he was trying to break off all ties with her because she was batshit crazy and a total controlling stalker who wouldn’t leave him alone. Poor guy, Which reminds me of this song….

    1. You also must factor in how:

      Stupid deluded shallow

      People surrounding the sociopath can be. In my case I was specifically told when she moved to no3 coworker by someone who I considered a friend but who was in amongst it

      “SHE ALWAYS GETS WHAT SHE WANTS”

      Is that setting people’s alarm bells ringing?

      My friend eventually turncoated on me. To stay in with the group and probably due yo peer and management pressure.

      His last words to me were

      “IT SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR MESSING HER AROUND”

      I never spoke to him again after that. But you can see and let this be a warning to all. I was accused of being “manipulative” by them. I tried to play the game late on realising it was but not very well. The sociopath will accuse you of their behaviour.

      I also recognise the emotional pity play. When she was on no2 coworker she was slightly vulnerable as the mask was out of position.

      I was sat and simply looked at her. Her female coworkers were there. She almost burst into tears and called for her mother at this. I realising this looked away and or left. You can see the manipulation and call to her female friends for support. I SAID NOTHING.

      This is an example of a pity play.

      Subsequently she moved to no3 coworker. I was constructively dismissed at a whole new level over the next year.

      Let this be a warning. Be able to go no contact. Be VERY careful who you trust. I mean as small a group of extremely close friends and family. To avoid turncoats the sociopath via mutual friends will take advantage of.

      1. Yup. Most of the time people have that “if ya can’t beat em, join em!” mentality when it comes to these types of situations sadly. And instead of standing up for whats right they go along with the crowd and the opinions of the majority of everybody else in fear of being “kicked out” of the group, so you are left feeling abandoned and betrayed by someone you considered a friend. Usually a Sociopath is behind all of this of course.

    2. Luxia ,

      When I left finally , mine tracked me down within 24 hrs to where I live and begged me to meet up with her late at night in her house ” to talk things through properly ” I had a dreadful gut feeling screaming at me not to go ( plus 2 very good friends & her ex husband warning me not to go anywhere near her unless it was in public ) . I didn ‘t do it .

      The text came through ” what are you afraid of ? !!!!!!!! “.

      I had read about Jody Arias by then ( I was sent the link to the story ) . I will believe until I drop off the face of the earth , that something very very bad was planned for me that night .

      When I wake up in the morning , I always wonder how close a shave I actually had . I will never know for certain

  12. So, I am leaving mediation after the monster just played what a good guy he is, blah blah to her, and of course I am the bad person, so half way through I just stopped trying to advocate for myself. Since she didn’t question the children properly (about the issues in my response) nor were the children interviews taped. We walked out and the monster looks at me and says “well I just worked that into my favor”. I just smiled and replied “good for you, see you in court”, and a few other things which should not be repeated. Got into my car and cried all the way home. Hopefully, my attorney can prove what a psycho he is. I document very well. Court is tues, the kids are pawns, it’s really about winning, control and money. I hope the judge sees through his charade, and recognizes him for what he truly is. Pray for me people, or whatever you believe, this war has been going on for longer than we were married. Seriously, if I lose anymore weight I will have to buy a new wardrobe. 😱 Thank you.

    1. Hey NMI πŸ™‚

      Smee again πŸ™‚

      Please stay strong, stick to the relevant details as a lot of the Soc’s behaviour will be overlooked by the court unfortunately.
      Go for your entitlements, stick to the facts, go in with the intent to succeed πŸ™‚
      Mostly keep the children’s interest at the fore so, the judge will be on their side as you & the Soc are adults & the court should be protecting the innocent ones.
      You stay true to you, be strong, be brave…your a Superwoman πŸ™‚

      1. Great response PR…one more piece of advice to NMI…WHATEVER happens in the courtroom and you can count on him lying in court…do NOT respond with emotion, do not get angry and retaliate…crying is okay…but you don’t want to give the judge the impression that you’re not all there so to speak because of anger…you have every right to be angry, but don’t show it in court, remain calm and act like you are in complete control…I wish you all the best at your hearing…stay strong…

      2. Judges are not dum, they often see when someone is trying to blacken the name of the other party.

        One thing that does go against some women is the ‘hate’ and ‘vengeful spite’ that shines through when they make illogical claims and start insinuating their ex is a pedofile and a danger to their own kids or a drug abuser/drunk when they are the main bread winner.

        The same goes for men trying the oppersite.

        One good tip for ranting and raving ex.s is:
        “Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves”.

        If you can stay cool and gather your thought and write them down so a Judge can understand, you stand a better chance than any one with a high paid greedy lawyer.
        Having a lawyer when the other party doesn’t, is a big drawback in gaining the Judges sympathy.
        They often side with the person defending them selves. Unless of course you are unreasonable and claiming millions for a few yrs marriage where you really haven’t brought anything to. (TIp Heather ….)

        if you have a long term marriage ( >5yrs) you have rights to 1/2 the marital property if you haven’t cheated.
        Remember to include the main bread earners pension. It is often worth more than a house.

      3. It’s nearly the rainy season here, there’s a fragrant scent about… hinting clues why the days are getting warmer. Pain seems slow, it doesn’t want to go away and happiness always fleeting and never too much, since we’re a process, is where we going worth it? What will it be like? What’s ahead, is she around the next corner, or will she stay just this figment in my head? I’m beginning to understand the loving candour of a being I once was, finding out how stupid as to stupid I could be. Why is the denouement to what we’ve all gone through found in moments of solitude, why, why, why does pain render us so helpless to it’s power, I was asked today who I thought my soul mate was…what a haunting! who will it be it has it just happened and will this be as good as it will ever get. Faith, hope and may joy abound find you

      4. Being with a soc puts you in a box of sorts. My soc was the first person I met when I moved to a new city/state. He was my first impression and part of my first experiences. When I realized this was ending, I looked around the room and, while I’ve been doing/functioning since I’ve come here, it wasn’t really *my* experience.

        Everything was somehow wrapped up in him because so many of my hours and days were wrapped up in thoughts of him, whether he was present or not. I feel there is inherent danger in not actively either letting the thoughts go or pushing them away with prayer, etc. because a person can just become so lost to themselves.

        When I looked around the same room recently, I told myself, “You begin *your* experience now from here.” And I reminded myself of what I have with my wonderful son, how I was meeting new friends, and looking for new groups and activities to join. Yes, at first, all of this seemed pretty abstract and like a tasteless dish, but as I continued to try and engage, the flavor of life returned. What we are caught up in for a time? It is a hoax in every way. Life “outside the box” isn’t lackluster or boring—it’s the opposite as it gives you many choices, options, and potential experiences…choices you don’t have to run past a crazy person with arbitrary rules for approval.

        I believe the mental as well as the physical distance factor is an important part of this healing/recovery. I also suspect looking for a “next”, “soulmate” or anything outside ourselves is just another attempt at counter-measures to relieve our pain. We have to find ourselves okay within ourselves first. I believe this is why positiva and others continually chant, “Focus on you, first.” We don’t need a replacement for the soc…we were okay before they came along and as PR said recently, “They are not the end all, be all.” At the end of the day, many of them aren’t remarkable at all. Many of the people posting on this site are very strong, interesting, well-thought and well-spoken though… what should that tell us?

      5. Like a silky soul singer, soothing all the aches and pains. I feel pretty lousy today. I know, I know, it’ll pass, we’re all only human after all and there’s going to be days like these… and we live to love and learn another day πŸ™‚

  13. It was a blessing to receive this post today. We share a family plan cell phone package. We are in our 40’s with two sons 12 and 14. Not fully separated but living separate.The rage escalated yesterday. From sweetalk to rage to sweetalk asking me to consider a date with him. I asked if he was finished manipulating young girls, one in particular. He insisted he has asked her to stop texting. Sure enough I checked the bill and they are in daily/nightly contact. I wondered if he just wanted to make sure I was keeping tabs on his blatant in my face lying to me as I had stopped making contact with him and checking his bill. So I called and left a message saying he was a sick f@#$% and I will protect my family and to leave me alone. I havent even begun the proper separation agreement. We were together 18 yrs and I am scrutinizing our history for the signs of his recently accelerated behaviour. There had been rage sporadically. An interview at work claimed he showed no remorse for his bad behaviour. I was the main income earner and caregiver. He refused to plan or be consistant in his duties as a stay at home dad. Out socializing nightly lead to an affair with a 23 yr old. never stating clearly his intentions ever. And constant lying in the last year that I am aware of. I have been through extreme weight loss, sent home from work crying daily, totally confused but now I am angry and more proactive to healing.

  14. While he was lying to me about the girl last year, a friend read my tarots and I repeatedly got the magician card regarding him, the liar , illusionist, deceiver.

  15. Both women and men act like your ‘Sociopath’.
    It is often said that a woman can wrap men around her little finger and there are similar sayings about men.
    There a D**ks and C***ts in most places.

    Dating and meeting people can be hard, especially if you meet one of the above, but don’t let one bad apple put you off for life or the worm wins in the end.

    Don’t worry, Be Happy!

    or think of Earl and his Karma.

    Best way to beat worms is to expose them and tell others.. just try not to become the spite full ex.

    Anyways, seems your website is helping people get over some of the lower lifes.
    Remember the best way to meet your ‘true love’ is to stop looking and just concentrate on enjoying life.
    Go out and meet as many new people in non club/bar environments as you can.
    Watch out for dancing clubs.. I think a lot of Casanovas know they are easy pickup places for women tired of the club/bar scene.

    Just remember a true love can always change.. nothing lasts for ever any more.
    One secret source of unadulterated love is becoming a parent.
    Never felt as loved by a partner as from my daughter. It totally changes your perspective on life.
    Don’t have a kid because your lonely though as that is not fair on the child.
    It should be for love in my mind even if you do split later on.

    1. Sociopaths are everywhere, not just the club/bars, I ended up with a female Anglican priest of all things. You’re absolutely right in just being yourself, you’ll be loved even on your best and worst days, as there’s no mask or anything superficial apart enjoying life as we know it. I like your views on Sociopaths are everywhere, not just the club/bars, I ended up with a female Anglican priest of all things. You’re absolutely right in just being yourself, you’ll be loved even on your best and worst days, as there’s no mask or anything superficial apart enjoying life as we know it. I like your views on Sociopaths are everywhere, not just the club/bars, I ended up with a female Anglican priest of all things. You’re absolutely right in just being yourself, you’ll be loved even on your best and worst days, as there’s no mask or anything superficial apart enjoying life as we know it. I like your views on Sociopaths are everywhere, not just the club/bars, I ended up with a female Anglican priest of all things. You’re absolutely right in just being yourself, you’ll be loved even on your best and worst days, as there’s no mask or anything superficial apart enjoying life as we know it. I like your views on this πŸ™‚

    2. Hi Loki πŸ™‚

      Wise words & yes my children are my greatest asset & love πŸ™‚
      We must focus on our positives & not let the Soc block out the Sun in our lives.
      They make a very good eclipse but, that passes thankgod πŸ™‚

      My moon has moved & the bright shiny Sun is coming back πŸ™‚

      Shine on Loki πŸ™‚

      Love & Light πŸ™‚

      PR xoxox

      1. I’m a care-giver.I don’t have many friends left after my ex sociopath ruined all my relationship (smear job they do) but they got tired of me being physically abused and thought I was crazy to put up with him, so they just stopped talking to me. It’s funny Pheonix because I was always there for them no matter what.When you love someone you take the good and bad.I have been kinda naive and let alot of people used me and know when things are said and done, I’m left alone. My ex sociopath’s family learned that sense fred treated me in such a cruel and heartless way they felt they could do this too and all I keep doing was letting them in order to keep him. I’m sorry if my writing is not very good but I speak from my heart. Pheonix can you do me a favor and just pray for me to have the strength to go on and I hope and Pray God will hear my prayers because he is all I have left. Thank so much for caring about me. Love and grateful to have you

      2. Aw Marion, sending you a huge hug! Sociopaths target nice people…. because you are caring and compassionate. And it feels like a kick in the teeth that you are always there for someone else – and they stab you in the back. Sending you a huge hug. We do understand how you feel here.

  16. The soc has been withholding from adding me to his phone contacts, at this point, just because he knows it pisses me off. He did ask me for my # once, but this after he had been up to some of his tricks and was using it as a way to give me something I wanted so he could come back.

    My phone number is in my email signature so, he could easily call/text it if he wanted to. He is now using this communications method (email or IM) where I can’t contact him when I want as one means of control (combined with a couple other tactics he seems to be thoroughly enjoying). He appears to not realize I am onto this. I just basically go about my business and ignore his words, as well all know, the real consistency of a person is in his actions.

    My childish conversation with the soc this evening (yes, he texts in these run-on sentences consistently):

    SOC: Iamatmcdonaldsonwifiuuuuuuuugh…howeasieritwouldbetotextyouandcalllikeweusedto.lessproblems

    ME: Uh, yeah, it would be. If you weren’t sitting there with some other chick, you could probably even call me using the # in my sig file! Duh.

    SOC: Hereyougoasusual

    ME: I was thinking same thing about you. You have my #. Use it, or stop bothering me. Seriously.

    SOC: Iguessillstopcauseimnotusingittillyougiveittomeasiaskedinyouface

    ME: You do that, . I have to go. I made a pork roast with herbed potatoes and greens. Enjoy your McDonald’s. LOL

    1. jusagrl
      ROFLMAO..

      He’s got you to reply.. he’s laughing.. playing mind games and getting you to keep thinking of him.

      The trick is to just remember all the bad times/things about him and to try to keep your mind thinking of other things, just not him.

      Why even reply, just forget and ignore him.
      Change your number and don’t tell him, only friends/family you trust.

      Keep a water soaker and if he ever pesters you at home, warn him and then soak him from upstairs window then call police.

      Might be hard explaining the piss soaking to cops, but I promise you he won’t bother you again.

      1. “Loki”? Is it? Glad you enjoyed that. But I know what I’m doing. He doesn’t know what’s next, nor do you, only I do. Sincerely, when I need your assumptive opinion? I’ll ask for it.

      2. @Lisa

        You can’t expect to get only approving opinions about your posts and for those answers that you don’t like, you answer: I didn’t ask for your opinion.
        You are breaking the NC rule, you are still playing the sociopath’s game, you are literally telling him to call you, he is tossing you around like whales are tossing around seals, playing with them during the hunt. You obviously need to be spinned around more before you (if you ) get it. You can’t win from communicating with sociopath, why do you think all these posts were written for? Because they are true.

        https://datingasociopath.com/2013/06/04/the-relationship-with-the-sociopath-is-over-so-why-cant-you-let-go-take-me-to-your-drug-dealer/

        quote from the above text :

        “Remember – NO CONTACT – NOT ONCE – NOT EVER…..”

      3. πŸ™‚ C I think it was Jusagurl he didn’t like Loki’s comment 😦 not Lisa.
        Sometimes it’s hard to work out who’s who here πŸ™‚

        I don’t’ think Loki was being rude just misinterpreted but, hard when it’s a touchy subject?

        Love PR xoxo

  17. Pheonix I took a job that this woman called me for and while working with her she was no where as kind and when I worked with her. She would smile in your face and then talk behind your back never allowing one to do there job and so very abusive.She was like bipolar and today she got me fired. I was thinking that because I was wishing and pray my ex socio. would parish that that is why this happened to me because I hate me for all the cruel, physical and abusive behavior and you know the rest. Am I just trip pen please tell me..

    1. Hang in there Marion πŸ™‚

      The job wasn’t meant to be that’s all, something better will come soon πŸ™‚

      I am at work so, be back to you later πŸ™‚

      It’s all okay, just relax πŸ˜‰

      Your not alone πŸ™‚

      PR xoxo

      1. Thank you I’m trying. When this woman was treating me so unkind and abusive it felt like my ex sociopath was the one doing it but it was her. All the bad feels came out and I would get angry and try to not let it bother me but she would do horrible things like throw my clients wet diapers at me and just talk down to me The pain and fear of not having a job now like my whole life is falling about and scared and no one to turn to but you and all the wonderful woman that have taken the time to reply and help me. I feel so, sad and broken up now. I only pray to God to help me thru all this alot to bear.God Bless you always for all your help.

      2. Awww Marion,

        It’s so hard when things start to domino on top of you 😦
        I wish there was something I could do but, I am stuck here in the Pacific Ocean on a huge Island.
        What’s that saying “No man is an Island” well it’s true & whilst I’m a long way away I can listen & write πŸ™‚
        Unfortunately this is all I can do 😦
        Do you have close friends for support?
        What sort of job do you do?
        Can you get financial assistance?

        It sounds like this lady was not very sympathetic but, who knows what her life is like?
        You will have to dig deep as you’ve done before & look how far you’ve come.

        Your a strong person Marion & the road has been tough 😦
        One things for sure, “what doesn’t kill you better be able to run fast!” πŸ™‚

        Try & remain focused on you & gathering your support system, it will pass & this time next year, who knows we might be sitting together sharing a champagne cocktail & toast our freedom πŸ™‚
        It’s not a threat, it’s a promise πŸ™‚

        Love & Light,

        PR xoxox

      3. LOVING TREATMENT For Marion πŸ™‚

        Deep at the centre of my being there is an infinite well of love.

        I now allow this love to flow to the surface.

        It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.

        The more love I use and give, the more I have to give, the supply is endless.

        The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy.

        Yes, I love myself, therefore I take loving care of my body.

        I lovingly feed it nourishing food and beverages.

        I lovingly groom it and dress it and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

        I love myself, therefore I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.

        I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.

        I love myself, therefore I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses all my talents and abilities, working with and for people that I love and love me, and earning a good income.

        I love myself, therefore, I behave in a loving way to all people for I know that that which I give out returns to me multiplied.

        I only attract loving people in my world for they are a mirror of what I am.

        I love myself, therefore I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences and I am free.

        I love myself, therefore I love totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright, and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more.

        And so it is.

  18. Ashley, I have nothing against you, you just posted a suspicious link and it was a good moment that I say to everyone to be careful with such links, I put the quote from the article about it.

    ps. If you read my earlier post more carefully, you will notice that it is quite opposite of what you observed – I wrote that I am not a computer person, that I just managed to do it once thanks to Google and my desperate pain and need to get the real answers and my closure.
    As for the language, I wrote earlier that English is not my mother language and that I apologize if my posts sometimes aren’t so understandable as I mostly write them very quickly. I personally find difficult to follow your “rhetoric” too but I never made any such comment as I know this is WWW and people read and write comments from all over the world.

    1. Cool beans, no problema, I’ll bear your sentiments in mind too when commenting or sharing a link,

      Where are you? If I may ask…cause I have a secret mission for you! If you choose to accept you will be an agent for good for the rest of your life!
      This message will self destruct in 30 seconds

      Just kidding,
      here’s to a super day ahead! πŸ™‚

  19. Ok so this is the second attempt at my ex coming to get his things. And Im nervous again none the less. Im glad in a way he’s coming to get his stuff..and sad in a way bc I know that’s the last I’ll hear from him. I know I should be happy that such an asshole is out of my life and I truly hate myself for being so sad over this. I, like most of you ladies, just think what is he was just an asshole that cheated on me and got me to give him money….And I know there were girls upon girls in his texts. So either way it’s a good thing it’s over. But I just want it to not be that I was treated that way bc it was me…even though I’d never wish this upon anybody else ever!

    Just struggling today and am asking for prayers and well wishes that all goes well tonight and maybe…just maybe it will be a sigh of relief when everything is gone…at least my friend offered to come and help (again) so at least I wont have to see him. Its been about a month since I’ve actually seen him. And I know that would just start everything up all over again and I really don’t want to start back at square one in the grieving steps….its been too hard as it is. Sorry just had to get it out. Hope everyone is having a strong day! πŸ™‚

    1. Hi Brandy πŸ™‚

      Aarg! It’s so hard accepting what has happened as you were emotionally invested in the Soc but, as the proof is terribly confronting it is the truth.
      He has dishonored you & your soul & the humiliation of being used as a source of supply is
      heartbreaking 😦

      You must stay strong, he is not worthy of your pure heart πŸ™‚
      Be Brave & remember you are so much better than him πŸ™‚
      Stand in your truth, honestly & self love, you deserve better & it will come but, not from him!

      Love & Light πŸ™‚

      PR xoxo

      1. Again he cancelled!!! WTF??? Now my friend isnt willing to come over anymore and Idk what to do! He makes me soooo angry. He gets pissed when I dont answer his texts about coming to get his things then TWICE he’s cancelled! UGH! So tired of having panic attacks the days he’s telling me he’s coming by!

        Thanks PR. . I keep telling my self that and some days it helps. Then the lonliness sets in and I get sad and miss him. Usually when my son is at his dad’s house is when it’s the worst. Im so glad that I have you girls here on my journey to happiness and freedom from the ex!! Hope youre and everyone else are having a great day πŸ™‚

      2. To heck with him, Brandy. He really has interfered in your life enough. You should tell him you have made plans to accommodate him twice now and he’s failed to follow up. Regardless of his reasons, he is now on “Brandy’s Schedule”, and you will let him know when he can come by. Put his crap outside that day. If he doesn’t show up, tell him you did it and that it will remain out there for a week, at which time if he hasn’t collected, you will assume he has abandoned it and will dispose of accordingly (document the last two “plans” he fell through on, plus these new conversations).

        If you don’t want to go so far, you could just do the first part and tell him he is now “on your schedule”. At minimum, this gives you back control over your own life which the fool shouldn’t be exploiting anyway.

        In your shoes, I would probably even be annoyed enough to not want to meet with him and tell him to make alternative arrangements for someone other than him to pick up the dog…at your convenience…and give him a time limit to arrange, that you will assume compliance to you taking over ownership if he hasn’t done so within that time period. It may or may not get that last piece accomplished, but it sure will piss him off. He’s just enjoying controlling you further by disrespecting your time at this point.

      3. Hi Brandy πŸ™‚

        He’s just toying with you & he’s staying around via his stuff 😦
        Just txt him that you will leave it outside & give him a date/time etc…or donate it to a charity.
        He will come, leave when he comes, jump in your car & go somewhere nice?
        I would personally just dump it at the nearest goodwill store πŸ™‚
        Don’t play the game or you’ll end up back down & you know the story 😦
        You owe yourself the freedom & peace so, be kind to You…:)
        You would tell us to do the same so, do it for yourself.

        Be Strong, you deserve better than this πŸ™‚

        Love PR xoxox

      4. You’re right Jusa…maybe he is thinking he’s in control. He keeps telling me theyre calling him in to work or he has to stay late. But he knows I can’t be a bitch is the bad part. I still have stuff from my ex-husband at my house that the ex bf told me to just throw out but I cant because I told him its mean. He knows that about me 😦

        Plus he was supposed to sign a promissory note and give me post dated checks for the money he owes me. I know everyone says they dont pay you back nut I’m hopeful he’ll do the right thing. The first check he gave me cleared. It’ll be almost 2 years of checks though. And at least I can sue him if he signs the promissory note! But maybe it’s not really worth my insanity…..idk.

        Obviously he doesn’t have time for the dog if hes never home…idk why he just wont let me keep him. I had a male friend offer to come and get the stuff and take it to his house so I can be done but I don;t want to help the ex out either by taking his stuff to his house! Plus I really dont want to see his house again. It’s all so painful I just want to forget honestly. But losing the dog is breaking my heart.

        He told me he could come tonight and I told him no that I would be out. Then he said Saturday but didnt know if it was 7 am or pm…I said no if its am! lol Im still looking for someone to come out to the house to deal but I cant keep asking people if he’s just gonna cancel all the time. I know….I need to grow a pair and just be a bitch after all hes done….but he knows the laws and if I mess anything up I’m sure he’ll be the one suing me!! He shoulda took this stuff when he left! I’m just so frustrated!!

      5. It’s not “being a bitch” to stand up for or assert yourself non-aggressively. But, it is definitely up to you to decide if you think his time/wants/needs are more valuable than your own. Also, if you took the stuff to his house and dumped it, you would effectively be in more control than you are right now as a result so, not sure if “helping him out” is really what’s bothering you. If you wanted to cause him to do things on your schedule, you would do what I proposed. If you wanted him to like you again, you might continue trying to do things his way… but, you will probably continue to get this same result of him walking all over you, rather than the former. I would cash any checks immediately. Up to you if you want to suffer for each $.

      6. @Jusagurl and Brandy – I completely agree – asserting yourself does not make you a bitch. He might call you that in order to take advantage of your soft side, but that is manipulation on his part and has nothing to do with you. If you were a “bitch” you never would have taken him on to begin with.

        I don’t even think being considered bitchy is a bad thing anyway – it certainly has a time, place and purpose. If we weren’t conditioned from an early age to be so compliant and put the needs of others before ourselves, then none of us would be on this site with the problems we’re having. I’m tired of being the soft, loving and giving one – the current ex-bf hasn’t even begun to see my inner bitch come out to play, though I’m sure he’s got an idea of what’s coming his way if he keeps yanking my chain.

        If you look at “bitchy” behaviour from an evolutionary standpoint, it has ensured our survival – after all, if you let yourself be taken advantage of, you’re going to attract people who take advantage of you. (that’s not a criticism, I am speaking from experience)

        I now prefer to think of myself as a tiger. If you’re good to me, I’ll be good to you. If not, then all bets are off. Period.

      7. For all the Tigers πŸ™‚
        For you darling πŸ™‚
        PR xoxo
        I agree with the “we can be bitches comments” πŸ™‚

      8. Checks are post dated for a month at a time so no go on cashing them all at once. And no…I don’t want him back. Its obvious he doesn’t want me if he can be talking or doing God knows what with all of those other women since we even met! I guess I really did think of it as doing something else good for him to bring his stuff to him but I do see your point about it as well. I thought it would be just another thing for him to laugh about besides taking me for the $4000 if I took it to him. And it would be nice to not have to stress him about dealing with it all whenever he decided to text…usually once a week. You make some very valid points Jusa lol. And I’ll probably never see that money anyway. Strongly considering what you said! Thanks for the response! πŸ™‚

        PS- and you’re right it’s” not being a bitch” it’s just that I’m so damn nice I feel like I would be being a bitch…probably the reason I got sucked into his path lol.

      9. Hi Brandy πŸ™‚

        My Soc liked to call me ‘My Bitchie’ & when I said why do you call me that, he said “All you women are bitches, that’s why men get further!” I thought he meant in the workforce etc…but, it was how he views women in general.
        When I said “I am not a bitch”, he said “No actually you are one of the nicest women I’ve ever met?????” Gee out of how many????
        LOL what a loser & WTF was I thinking, still shaking my head (DOH)…LOL
        All good πŸ™‚
        Stay strong & stay focused on you.
        Get your Inner Bitch out if you have too, if they call us bitches, might as well live up to the title!

        He also used to say “I’M A BASTARD”, he was telling the truth for once, & I agreed πŸ™‚
        LOL

        PR xoxo

      10. @ Darling

        I completely agree with you and thanks for the post. Im not assertive at all and I know I am easy to take advantage of….I learned that with my narcissist ex-husband. I just don’t know how to be that way! Hopefully one day soon Ill figure it out! Im tired of getting stepped on. And he’d never call me a bitch I don’t think. He just uses his knowledge of the law against me. I told him the day I found out all the lies and cheating and he asked where his stuff was and I said I got rid of it! But he knew that was illegal and he was right. Im sure hes done this to others and has a good grasp on what we can and cant do with his stuff!

        So you suggest dropping it off to him too then? Im thinking about it from Jusa’s POV. Maybe it would give me control back and then he’d have no reason to text anymore even if it is just about his stuff.. Just dont wanna be played for the fool again :(.

      11. Hi Brandy, I feel like the drink…jk, on a more serious note, I know from experience keeping yourself centered and your good side about will always play in your favour, eventually when the dust settles and you’re moving on with your life, he’ll be looking exactly what he is and you will reflect exacting what you’ve acted on. I know it’s difficult but try to act as though you’re in front of the law and a judge and the rest will work itself out in time, you’re doing great, I’ve made some mistakes I’m regretting now acting impulsively, playing at their vindictive game. Remember you’re worth more than that, keep smiling it will get to them and what do we get from smiling. Keep centered and focused to your happiness

      12. Thanks PR! You always know just the words I need to hear to snap myself back into reality! I think you keep all of us in line as a matter of fact and for that I am grateful! I hope that you are doing well and I wish everyone a week filled with hope and strength! Loving Katy Perry’s Roar btw πŸ™‚

    2. Stay strong, Brandy – your life can be so much better than it ever was with him. You just have to give it a chance and let it unfold. A hard lesson for me is to not let the anger and bitterness of betrayal poison my soul – as unlikely as it may seem, hopefully someday you will be able to see this unfortunately event as a learning opportunity and you can move into a great new life with the knowledge that you survived treachery and deceit and have come out better and stronger. My prayers are with you, and all of us who are learning this very hard lesson.

      1. Thank you so much Darling! I have chalked it up to a very expensive ($4000) life experience! I suppose my weakness comes from being alone and I was never very good at that which is probably what put me in this situation in the first place 😦 I’m working on the better and stronger part….I think learning to love myself is the hardest part! And i really dont know why….if he mirrored me and I loved him technically I should love me….crazy! Always had self esteem issues so that is my focus now. Hopefully it’ll keep the crazy spath’s away from now on or at least I’ll have enough respect for myself to leave when I get that first red flag/gut instinct! Thanks again for your words of encouragement! You ladies have been wonderful to me in my times of need πŸ™‚ I hope you and everyone else are having a wonderful day!

  20. My female ex Sp gave me a sob story about how badly she was doing and how so many had done terrible things to her…so I helped her move to my small town and in with me…after she had lined up a new victim and moved out I ended up talking to the last people she had stayed with in another state…turns out she was lying from day 1 while on the phone with me…setting it all up for the gigantic con she played…the funny thing was she was even lying about things she really didnt need to…but obviously she was sizing me up, seeing my vulnerabilities and weaknesses and sculpting her nearly pure fiction story…now she has moved onto her next victim and has dug in here in my small town…she is 43, took an 18 year old boy…is living with him…I can only imagine how she is going to play this young kid…beyond that, she has so many men in town wrapped around her little finger and tells them absolute lies about me which they believe and of course gets around a small community…I wanted so badly for her to leave (and the odd thing was while living with me she told me she hated this place…) yet she is digging in hardcore…seems like she found perfect ground for the game playing…and I feel so terrible that I in fact fell for this and brought her here to my small community…like I imported a dangerous virus…have no idea how I am gonna live here and feel ok, but I have to find a way…

    1. @Cash – I have to say, this pattern of lying (about everything, but especially being a victim and so poorly treated) is very typical. BUT – the fact that she is now shacked up with a man 25 years her junior is sick. Don’t worry, it will come back around on her – I’m sure there are people in your community who already see her for who she is. Wouldn’t surprise me if she gets run out of town at some point. If I was that boy’s mother, she wouldn’t know what hit her …

      Keep your chin up, I know it’s hard.

      1. thanks Darling…I only threw her out about 4 weeks ago…she obviously had him already picked out as he showed up to help her move out…and she was driving his audi next morning…now she and him are living down the road from me…within a mile! Christ, not even sure how to handle that…but I have to…as for the 18 year old, honestly, I dont think she is even into young guys so much…rather, he seemed the best fit for her next victim…I know she practically destroyed me and I am a 49 year old man…I cant imagine a young vulnerable kid who got outta high school two months ago…

    2. @ Cash / Darling .

      Yes it is a sick ” triangulation ” I think it’s known as . Parading the younger new man in your face to try & make your stomach churn inside out . Don’t let it through your defences . It is an illusion , as was your relationship . He is her next victim before she waves someone else in his face and so on & so on . One endless disgusting endless cycle of destruction – until finally the sociopath destroys itself . You have had the luckiest escape of your life I can tell you . Good luck

      1. This is true. My soc tried to move me into his house quickly after meeting me (though he has a “wife”). He moved someone else in instead two days ago, telling me she got “put out”. He contacted me to ask if he could put her clothes in my house until he “figured things out”. I told him to ask his wife to help out. The next day, this piece of work told me it was a “test” that he knew I would fail, that “she” (the put out girl) was just fine there. I told him I would always fail a test that included introducing another woman’s things who he is f*cking around with, into my home, and thank him for putting her in front of me. He just wanted me to know what $h*t he was pulling. That he flipped it to make me seem uncharitable is unfathomable, but his sick mind probably embraces that as the truth. He also commented that I didn’t move in when I had the chance, so who (in reference to my talk about a real relationship with him) really wants what? Well, I know I didn’t want to be a replaceable/exchangeable number.

      2. Thanks Nick…yeah, actually this week I started feeling great…the intense shock and fog lifted after 6 weeks or so…I realize I dodged a real bullet with her…I am glad I had the guts to toss her out even tho it tore my heart out at the time…now she is living about a half mile down the road with her new 18 bf…and I don’t really care at all…it took alot to get there to that point…I guess I had to totally bleed out…now, I realize both intellectually and more importantly emotionally that whatever sick story is, will unfold inevitably with her that it now has nothing to do with me…it ain’t my problem…and there are guys all around my small town just lining up for their shot at her…they can have her…they have NO IDEA what is coming…but I see that it ISN’T my problem anymore…weird as well this week…started feeling great…rode 400 k’s on my bike and set a new personal best for the week (I am a cyclist) and probably had a dozen folks tell me I looked great and was giving off this good energy and vibe…I don’t usually pay much attention to that sort of stuff but it was nice to hear and these really were the first positive things I had heard from anyone in 9 months…the whole key I think is to detoxify from these people…and it needs to be just an utter and total cut off…a total no contact…it is the only way with an sp I feel…with time away from the virus, you start to detox and get to where you need to be…i.e. back on your own side…and your head starts clearing from the insanity that you have been put thru…

      3. @Cash – good for you! Getting back to yourself is one of the most important things for you to do – and it’s great that other people are noticing your vibrancy.

        You know, I bumped into my exe’s sister about 6 weeks ago, and I KNEW I looked really good. Her jaw dropped, then she started making all of these comments about herself and her weight gain (she was always self-conscious about her weight, though I never noticed it – but when he and I were together, I was self-conscious because I had gained weight because of an injury and some serious medication I was on). I knew she noticed how healthy and vibrant I am, and that she would go back and tell him. Of course, I filled her in with the details I needed to to let her know that my life is great (and it really is) and that I am out having a fun time, and work is going well. (as in “no, I don’t need douchebag, and I’m not pining over him, either)

        Keep up the good work – you deserve a woman who loves and respects you – no more “rescuing”. Take care of yourself, first.

      4. Darling…that is so kind of you to write that…thanks…and I am glad to hear you are feeling good as well…I am sure I will still have my ups and downs…and altho I am a bit of a caretaker I too hope my days are done with rescuing…especially with SP’s rescuing leaves you, or me more exactly, very vulnerable and wide open…dangerous territory…

      5. @ Cash & Darling πŸ™‚

        Yay you guys, keep going…your worth it πŸ™‚

        Love & Light πŸ™‚
        PR xoxo

  21. great post! i experienced this first hand last fall then things began to fall apart for him, he did and said things i never thought possible. i did not understand why (until now). thank you. peace

  22. what lies they do tell, he posted lies on facebook about me earlier this year just to raise money to move back to the west coast. he was done with me once all my money was gone!

    1. Doesn’t it feel like a kick in the teeth the person you trusted. Who you gave everything for. Then betrays you. After lying to you then lies about you. It really is the worst kind of feeling. Betrayal – I think it is this that makes trust so very difficult.

      1. yes, sometimes it feels even worse! i feel like such a fool sometimes, how could i have not known? i lost everything because of this relationship . . . and now i figure out it was all a lie, a game to him. i understand things, his past, his actions, why he moved around so much, etc. but why did i not see it sooner? and yes, the betrayal, how do you get over that?

  23. I met a guy who new I had a bf but pursued me anyway. Later, when that relationship ended I started seeing him he acting extremely infatuated calling and texting. He even said we would have beautiful babies together telling me he wanted to cum in me. We used condoms at first but then he said he would just pull out but then he didn’t and I took a morning after pill. I told him about it and he ended things and was very cold

  24. The Lord of Karma’s anything-but-fancy footwork would then
    proceed to cut off all mental momentum, leaving the Gemini mind-numbingly bored and impatiently disgusted.
    They were very frightened of the blacks and always travelled together from Cooktown in parties
    of 50 or more. shippers shipping shippons shipside shipways
    shipworm shipyard shirkers.

  25. Just read this post. I still can’t be sure if my ex was a socio as I can’t imagine it’s possible he does not have a conscience (or anyone for that matter), but when I confronted him about his financial lies and omissions (two bankruptcies which he had hidden from me in addition to the current bankruptcy which has been extended from 3 to 8 years), he lashed out me, accusing me of spying on him, screamed and yelled. Never apologised for not telling me, even though he wanted me to guarantee his mortgage a few years ago when I was none the wiser. I refused at the time. His parting line was that he wanted someone to ‘read and resuce’ him. Doesn’t make me feel any better.

    1. Yes they love to shout, scream and yell and behave like pubescent girls, when you catch them out in their lies. They love to hide behind the lie. Really if you think about it, you have to not have a conscience to be able to dupe and con without care or worry of anyone elses thoughts and feelings but their own.

  26. Fellas. I’m here to give you some insight on something I did not see coming about female sociopaths. When I was a teenager I dated some cute women. When they wouldn’t be faithful I chalked it up to hormones and lying. When they became adult they became aggressive, hostile, and hateful.

    What I didn’t see coming was the amount of anger that was boiling over in women. I discovered that women today are very jealous of males success. When males are succeeding, women analyze and watch for ways to get get revenge on males. This may be having no empathy, explosive rage, hostility, wanting to persecute.

    This problem is real. I now today have no freedoms. Women where I live
    tried to turn people against me, undermine my success, became hostile and agitated.

    Fellas don’t go praying to God about it. He won’t listen. The current slate of aggressive Christian Warriors you see on You Tube have hijacked the dialogue for their agenda.

    With cathoic priests raping boys, and aggresive Christian Warriors and their new age seminiars. God isn’t really being prayed to with common sense. He hasn’t been answering prayers even over important things.

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