Sociopaths are opportunists, and will cease an opportunity whenever they get the chance. If their motive from you is money, when they meet you, they will try to the following con trick
- Tell you that they are financially stable, perhaps have ‘temporarily’ fallen on bad times
- Offer you a false business background, which portrays them in a good light
- Reflect good morals and values – so that you think that this person is ‘trustworthy’
- Will lead you to believe that they will be in your life for the ‘long duration’
By telling you the above, a false sense of intimacy is created. You receive the following messages
- This person is just like me
- This person has the same morals as me
- This person is trustworthy
- I am going to be with this person for a long time
- This person will not let me down
The sociopath actually makes you feel like he is doing YOU a favour, by having this opportunity, and in the long term you will ultimately both be happy. You feel like it is a JOINT decision. He is that persuasive.
It is just a trick. A con. By leading you to believe that you are investing in someone who is:
- In love with you
- Financially sound
- Here for the long term
You begin to see things as a TEAM. The sociopath is very good at persuading you to see your relationship as a team relationship. You are therefore led to believe that if he is in trouble, or needs help, then you should help him (afterall, this is a partnership), he will send you messages, so that you believe that this is morally right like telling you
- Stories of his past – how responsible he was – how he paid for his ex
- How he can make this much money….
- How he can create a beautiful future together for you both, if only…… you……
- Offering false credentials
There is always an emphasis on WE, the way that he does it, you do not think that you are lending HIM the money – you feel that you are paying for a life for both of you.
The sociopath has you believe that your money is OUR money. You are lured into thinking that you are in a very long term relationship, where you share money. If you have been in a long term relationship previously, the relationship with the sociopath – mirrors this. It feels the same, so you are lured into it.
Whilst you are putting in real hard money, all the sociopath is putting in is an illusion – ‘words’ and false empty promises, that will never come to fruition. It can be a while after before you start to object.
When you do object, YOU are made to feel like you are causing problems in the relationship. As time rolls on you wait for the return of money, there will be more
- Stalling for time
You become more anxious. The reality is starting to hit you. But you don’t want it to be true. This can’t be happening to you.
The ‘true love’ that you were involved with suddenly starts to look very different indeed. The truth begins to unravel. You ask for the money back, there is more stalling for time.
You see, you were conned and tricked, into thinking that you were in a REAL relationship. One that is loving, caring and sharing. You were duped as the sociopath mirrors the true love connection. You thought he was going to be there for the long haul, when the truth was, he was there until your source for supply ran out.
As he pushes the relationship forward fast, he creates a false sense of intimacy and trust, of a relationship that has been built over time. He uses words, and false empty promises as his down deposit, and a false sense of morality, to build trust and a false connection.
Whilst you were thinking of soulmates, marriage, love, and happy ever after, unity, teamwork and sharing. He was thinking only of himself, and his own needs.
The sociopath doesn’t think long term. He can’t think that far ahead, he thinks only of now, and ceases opportunities whenever they arise. Unfortunately, you were an opportunity, a financial opportunity. The sociopath isn’t in the relationship for ‘love’ at least not how they have sold it to you.
Afterwards you are left stunned. Not only has this ‘perfect’ relationship ended, you are also left, in debt, or with thousands of your money gone. Sometimes they steal possessions too.
You might contact them to get your money back. Rather than say ‘no’. They simply will continue with the lie, and do more:
- Stalling for time
If you try to get it back. They will threaten YOU. Report you to the authorities for harassing them. Will tell people how you are crazy and you won’t let go. At the same time, they will allow you to believe that they will give you the money back….. sometime.
Copyright datingasociopath.com 2013